I wanted to go home, so I stuck in the camp leaders office and tried to use her telephone. I was sure that mom would understand that the camp leader was a mean person that wanted everyone else to believe that I was corrupting them. I was shaking as I held the telephone. I was afraid that I would burst down crying which would be embarrassing. I was frustrated that it was the answering machine that responded. That was just typical. While I was being subjected to Jesus fanatics, mom was most likely shopping and having the time of her life.
The camp leader caught me in her office. She was about to get mad at me, but I was the first one that lost control of my temper.
"I wanted my mom to come and collect me," I said to her, "I came to this camp to have fun and meet new friends. I knew we would hear about Jesus and the Bible stuff. I thought that this could also be fun. I would like to know Jesus. I did not expect some old woman to make everyone afraid of me. You told everyone that the devil is in me and I would corrupt everyone here. You told everyone that I did what the devil wanted me to do. This makes you the evil one. You do not even know me. I am not evil and I do not like the devil. Everyone says I am a nice person. How could you do this?"
I felt much better when I told her what I thought. It did not seem to matter, as she did not comment on anything I said. The only thing that she said was that it was time for the next session. She took my hand and took me to the big hall where everyone was waiting.
The camp leader started praising God. Her hands were in the air as she praised him, and she praised him more. Nothing was said except we were praising God and thanking him for the gifts we got from him. As the camp leader continued to repeat the praise, more and more children were joining in. Pretty soon it was everyone screaming praise and waving their hands in the air. Everyone was looking up towards heaven and shouting higher and higher. It was a strange experience that became stranger and stranger. Children were now in tears, as they were praising Jesus. It was as if they were expecting him to suddenly appear.
Jenny started talking in some language we never heard. It was grunting and cavemen like noises. As she was talking volapuk and tears running down her face, the camp leader told us that she was talking in tongues. This was a gift from the Holy Spirit. Jenny was speaking God's language. It sounded like baby talk to me. I wonder if Jenny knew what she was saying. All the other children thought it was a miracle. I was probably the only one in the room that thought that it was baby talk.
Things started to calm down, but the drama was not over yet. Everyone seemed to be tired after the hysteria. I hear some crying and it was my sister that collapsed on the floor. She was crying and looked like she was in despair. This scared me as I do not remember the last time I have seen my sister crying. She was shouting that she was a sinner and has done so many things wrong. She did not have Jesus in her life and she did not deserve him. The other camp children consoled her. The camp leader told her that is repentance and it would be heard by Jesus. She told Eva that she has now returned to the family of Jesus. Jesus knows that we are sinners and he has his arms open for us when we repent and change our ways.
I ran to my sister and pushed everyone off of her. I told them she was my sister and I wanted to hug her so she would smile again. My sister looked at me and told me to let Jesus in my life. It was like being born again. She did not accept my hug. She staggered to the camp leader and hugged her. Eva thanked the camp leader for saving her soul and showing her how to accept Jesus back to her life and the salvation of her soul.
I walked around the camp. I wanted to be able to praise Jesus as the others have done and able to say to the camp leader that I have seen the light and I have been saved. I knew this would not happen. The fanaticism just was not my way. I believed in Jesus but always thought that he was busy somewhere else. Maybe he was on long summer holidays. I still did not understand why he didn't speak with me. All these raising hands and speaking in tongues did not mean anything. I thought it was overreacting or maybe even it was bad acting.
The next time we were in the main hall, the camp leader told us it was time to know who our enemy was. I could see her looking my way. Then she shouted as high as we could and said one of the most dangerous enemies we have are Islam. She told us that it was a screwed up religion that hated the fact that Christians would not accept what Islam teaches. They would not accept our religion and the fact that we considered Jesus our saviour. They had no problems causing terror across the world. They would kill Christians in Allah's name. They would not be happy until every person was a Muslim and we followed Muslim ways.
I rose my hand and said that my best friend was a Muslim.
"A bad thing for you!" the camp leader shouted, "How can you be such a fool! This girl believes in a fake religion. She believes in a fake prophet. She believes in a religion that has no human rights, especially when it comes to women! Their religion is not just. It is forced upon its people a cruel religion. They teach their children how to be terrorists and how to kill us good Christians. They are taught that they will go to heaven if they terrorise and kill those who see the truth as Catholics. Muslims are evil and they have a false God. We must stand up to them!"
The others shouted mean things about Muslims. I did not want to be as mean as they were. Aisha was a Muslim and she would never be wicked. She did not like me any less because I was not a Muslim. I still would rather spend a week with her than with these children that only talked about Jesus. The thing is that I was sometimes afraid of what the children and camp leader were like. They would praise Jesus, boast about being his friend, and even talk in tongues. At the same time, they would talk about hating people because they had a different religion. I was sure that God did not want us to hate each other. Hate leads to hate and people getting hurt. I prefer a good friend to learn how to hate.
Later that day, Jenny stood up and told people she wanted to preach. This was the same girl that wanted to be my friend and now would not talk with me, because I did not believe as she did.
"I love Jesus," she started, "My life is nothing without him. He is there with me side by side during the good times and the bad times of my life. He guides me back on the right path when I am led astray. I want every breath and every action I take to be dedicated to Jesus and a sign that I am his child. In everything I will do, it will reflect that I am a Catholic. I will not wear clothes that display sin. I will not listen to songs that do not praise Jesus. I will not sin!"
I think that was what most children here would say. I was happy that the camp was nearly over. I was alone here and could not see how the others could be so excited about religion. It was just my style. I had a good life before I came here. I did not see any reason why it should change. I had Jesus in my life. I just did not pray. It also confused me that the children here and camp boasted how much they loved Jesus. They always wanted to do the right thing. Yet they did their best to treat me as if I was evil and should be avoided. I wondered if Jesus was here, would he speak with me or ignore me.
All this Jesus talk and hysteria became too much for me. We were once again in the hall where children were screaming as loud as they could as they praised Jesus. Some were even speaking in tongues, including my sister. I do know if it was because of the noise, or I felt so alone. I fell on my knees and started crying. The camp leader noticed it and asked me did I finally find Jesus?
"No I did not find Jesus," I shouted, "At least the Jesus you talk about. The Jesus I know is love and not hate. He does not think others are evil. He is like a big brother to me. I am not like you. I suppose I am not a good believer. I have many doubts and many questions. I do not think I am Catholic like you all are. I just feel so alone here and if there is something wrong with me."
The camp leader told me that I should open my heart and repent. Then everyone started that I should repent. I just sat there crying until my sister finally helped me up and said that she would help me.
The final day of the camp came. The camp leader gave us a final speech,
"Camp is now over and you will all be going back to Satans world. Do not be afraid about this. You are all now warriors of God. Jesus is calling you to stand firm against sinners and Muslims. You are to carry his sword and get rid of these evil people. You are now in a war, and you will fight many battles....."
I did not hear any more of what she said. I was looking out the window and finally saw mums car. I rushed out of the main hall and gave mum one of the biggest hugs she ever did have. I would not leave mums side. I wanted to go home, but my sister was asking all her new friends for their numbers and so forth. Mom told me that I needed to have patience every time I begged her to go home.
We were at last in the car driving on the way home. My mother asked if the camp went well.
"Camp was great," Eva said, "It has taught me that things will be different from now on"
To be continued
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