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Becoming frustrated with the lack of "good" fanfictions on the holy trio of fanfiction sites she frequented, Honest threw her phone onto the bed beside her harshly and sighed just as forcibly. Honest had put "good" in quotes because that wasn't really the word to use. There were some very well-written stories littering the Internet. That wasn't the thing Honest was having trouble finding. What was difficult to find was a fanfiction that aligned with her beliefs, er, preferences.
Usually whenever she became frustrated looking for something to read, she would come to a conclusion. That conclusion being "her fanfiction is the only 'correct' one". However, today, she wanted to apply herself and come up with a new answer.
Since it was nearly impossible to slip into her "deep thought mode" while shivering, Honest promptly tossed one of her bed pillows to the floor (miraculously converting it into a floor pillow (゜o゜;) ) and plopped down onto it, switching on her heater with a quiet click. She then rested her chin on the top of it.
Maybe it wasn't that her story was the only fanfiction for her, but that her entire way of thinking was wrong.
Maybe Shadow was a top? Nah…
But the stories kept asserting strange things like that. Sonic would walk into a room and be all "I am a complex fluffball" to an uncharacteristically domineering Shadow, but it didn't end at that. The author wouldn't just leave Honest be and continue on with the story. They usually would put the two hedgies through an unbelievably long and drawn out scene in which these flawed characteristics would be highlighted continuously. Honest tried to substitute names and words out in her mind, but that was unbelievably tedious. Rubbing it in over and over… eventually, you'd think the author would be happy with how much pain they had caused her and quit.
Yet, this didn't happen. There was no oasis in the desert of fanfictions. Therefore, she wouldn't even enter that desert. There was no point.
Then, there was that matter.
Honest rested her cheek in her palm and pouted. She had just finished reading a scene in one story where Sonic and Shadow were spending the night in a ruined bed and breakfast in Moebius while on the trail of Scourge. Shadow gave Sonic some weird, drawn-out speech that was really… she guessed fake and shallow. Something like "I admired your character, so I began to hang out with you and your friends. Oh yeah, and I'm in love with you". Literally the Garry Sue cartoon characters that taught you the importance of looking back and forth before you cross the street in preschool wouldn't say something so worthless. In fact they may become offended if you told them you thought that was something they might've said.
It was way more complex than that. Worlds more.
The heat had become too much, and Honest had switched her heater off before leaping up onto her bed and stretching across it on her stomach.
Well, it had to be, right? This was her whole world.
Sonic was definitely complex enough to warrant further study. If it wasn't, why had Honest more or less dedicated her life to it?
Sonic was complex. And therefore, her fanfiction's concepts were the best there was. Once someone had something mastered, that is, completely understood, that was their launching-off point. The possibilities were endless after that. Hehe. Endless possibilities.
Honest giggled and stretched out. Her attention was then brought to her entertainment center when a loud whirring sound erupted from it. The Wii.
The disc of Shadow the Hedgehog Honest owned was severely scratched up and thus had to be taken out and reinserted anywhere from two times to a hundred and four times before it would play. Therefore, Honest kept it playing on her Wii 24/7 so she could play it maybe three hours every three days without having to bother with it. The occasional power outage gave the Wii its breaks.
Honest stood up suddenly and exclaimed pointedly "I'm going to make coffee!" She raced around the front of her bed towards the-
"Ah!" the blond feline squeaked as she plummeted to the ground, landing on her face and jittering to a rest on the carpet. After a few seconds of grovelling in pain, she sat up. Apparently she wasn't quite awake enough to move so quickly. She had only woken up thirty minutes ago after all. Plus, the sun hadn't completely woken up either yet, so it was dark in the room.
Should she wake Shadow up? It was only about six. Would he be bothered if she woke him up so early on the weekend? Maybe not. It was for coffee. What fault could he possibly find in that? Plus, if he did show symptoms of being bothered, Honest could always show him her usual bright, unfaltering smile and, like magic, he wouldn't anymore. Right?
"What are you doing standing in the hallway looking dazed?" came an unexpected voice from directly in front of her. Honest nearly jumped clear out of her skin at that.
"Huh? What?" Honest exclaimed, her head still not entirely out of the clouds just yet. She looked frantically all around her despite knowing where the voice had come from already.
With his arms crossed loosely and his fur sticking out at all weird angles, Shadow regarded her with a confused but still rather serene expression. It was undoubtedly the morning fog hanging around the house that made him look like that. Usually the air he had felt sharp and honed, but right now it was dull and clouded.
"Uh, I was just about to make a pot of coffee," Honest explained while laughing, finally remembering. "Do you want some?"
Nearly instantaneously he grumbled, "What do you think?"
Honest couldn't help it. She laughed at that. "Okay, then! I'm gonna head down now," she said, her voice taking on an entirely different tone. She smiled a cat smile and rushed down the stairs, her giant, fluffy white and peach tail flying behind her like a ribbon.
Shadow watched with a blank expression before he was suddenly hit with a rush of deja vu.
...Except, well, this wasn't just an opportunity to insert a flashback. Sometimes deja vu was remembering something that had happened in the past, but other times it was getting the feeling that you were experiencing something that happened before. What Shadow was experiencing was the latter. Standing outside his room and watching Honest fly down the stairs to do something in the kitchen. Honest had run down the stairs in that manner countless times before.
Honest had poured water into the back of the maker and was about to press the button when her phone lit up with a picture of an angry-looking cloud on the counter beside her. She suddenly called out in a semi-loud voice. "Wind advisory!"
Just then a rush of blue wind surged past him and Sonic halted at the top of the stairs in front of Shadow. He looked over his shoulder at him. "Oh! Well, good morning, sunshine."
The look on the azure speedster's face was of pleasant surprise, and for some reason Shadow hated it. The morning fog was still too thick for him to think clearly. "G-Good morning…" he said, struggling to keep his usual stoic frown.
Sonic tilted his head. "Are you okay? You don't look very good."
"I'm fine," he exclaimed rather crossly. "I just- am having serious deja vu right now. Were we-" Shadow looked around him quickly. "Here before?"
Sonic looked down the stairs and saw Honest's tail sticking out from behind a wall. She was in front of the microwave. Then it hit him.
"Ohhh!" Shadow jumped when Sonic suddenly spoke up and turned to him. He smiled pleasantly. "{GB Edition}! I forget what chapter it was, but- I'm glad you read it." He winked at him then continued his way down the stairs in front of them.
Shadow, remembering almost immediately what had happened in said edition, felt his face heating up. Oh, why so early in the morning? But why did he have to act like it bothered him? It didn't!
Trudging down the stairs after them, Shadow found that Honest had indeed done what she said she would. Maybe he could just drown his troubles in coffee for now. He opened the cabinet above the coffee maker and reached for a mug. Opening it wide, Shadow witnessed as a white glove emerged, taking the very mug he had his sight on just nanoseconds earlier and passing it down towards him.
"Here you go," the glove's owner told him.
Shadow had no choice but to accept the glove's offering. But… "How did you get up there?"
Sonic jumped out of the kitchen cabinet and landed in the floor space between them. "Literary magic," was what he told him. He then stooped with his fists on his hips, staring Shadow in the face as if he expected him to respond in some way.
"Uh…" was all he said. Honest arrived in the nick of time holding the thing he needed.
"Here! Have this cup! I'll get another for me." She handed him a filled cup of coffee. He quickly traded his empty cup for hers and drank a sip while still keeping his eyes trained on the hedgy in front of him, making sure he didn't go anywhere. Once the hot beverage had entered his body, Shadow cleared his throat and regarded the blue pineapple sternly.
"What do you want now, faker? Why have you woken up with us today?"
Sonic's eyes became inward facing carrots. "Aww! I wanted to keep playing with pre-coffee Shadow!!" After seeing that version of Shadow wouldn't be returning anytime soon, the Fastest Thing Alive sighed and rolled his whole head along with his eyes as he turned around to close the cabinet he had emerged from.
“Hey, Shadow. What should we eat for breakfast?” Honest asked, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
“What are the choices?” Sonic asked with a pretty blank face.
“That’s not including you,” Honest told him with a scowl and a fold of the arms. Then, she suddenly brightened up and asked, “What would help my brain? Since I need to memorise so many lines of the play by tomorrow.” Shadow was about to tell Honest that was a pointless thing to have influence her choice of breakfast, but she had already picked up her phone and begun to scroll through pages upon pages of search results. “An Ann Kulze says the best thing to eat for breakfast to improve your brain’s performance throughout the day is oatmeal.” Sonic heard her and immediately dashed to the cupboard.
"Uh, Honest. There's no oatmeal in here. There's a box of cheddar cheese grits…?"
"I can't eat anything gritty! Who eats that?"
"Pft. Snow forced me to buy them for her months ago, but she never ate them. We should have enough time before school to stop by Eggmart and buy some more," Shadow said, angrily sipping his coffee while staring into the distance.
"Okay!" Honest exclaimed cheerily. She went to grab her backpack.
Although it was him who suggested it in the first place, Shadow couldn't help but feel trepidation about going somewhere, no, anywhere, prefixed by "Egg-". It was common knowledge that Eggmart was the only place to buy groceries in Station Square in this universe. With that in mind, weren't they kind of forced to go? But, then again, what harm could really befall them there anyway? None of the robots were armed, and Honest and Shadow were on the Doctor's good side right now. They have been since, really, Chapter 22 of {w/Snow}, when Eggman got his teaching degree and, somehow, that made him forget all about how Shadow and Honest had betrayed him in {w/Sonic}.
He hadn't simply "forgotten" their betrayal, though. Doctor Eggman had either just forgave them for it due to feeling loyal in some way, or he had planned for their betrayal from the very beginning.
Sonic watched curiously as Shadow pulled a large binder off a shelf by the door and stuffed it in the largest pocket of Honest's white polka-dotted yellow pack.
"Should I go with you?" the cerulean speedster asked.
"No." Shadow's reply was like a frozen wall of osmium coming out of nowhere and stopping all trepidation he had previously felt in its tracks.
Sonic let out a puff of air accompanied with a very sorrowful groan. Honest was bent over as Shadow struggled to zip her backpack back up with his binder now inside of it. "Why are you always so dramatic?" she asked. Shadow finished zipping and they both looked up.
"We don't need your terrible commentary slowing us down or else we're going to end up being late for school," his shadowy double explained. In our present understanding, Shadow is not Sonic's "double" in any sense, but if everyone was fooled in SA2 (and X) into thinking they were the same person, they have to be considered as such at least 35% of the time. I think.
"Honest?"
Honest observed a certain tile on the floor. "I don't care what Shadow's reasoning is; I just know that I don't want you to come with us."
Sonic felt so confused that he had already decided that was the high point of his confusion today, and it wasn't even seven yet. With a scrunched-up face, he said, "Why do you always do that?" His face straightened back out. "That’s not Honesty, is it?”
“No, it’s called ‘I don’t want to break the fourth wall all the time’.”
Honest opened the door and pulled Shadow through it behind her.
Honest didn't want to break the fourth wall because she wanted the readers to be able to get at least a little bit immersed. Especially in this chapter. People needed to forget that a story wasn't real a little bit before they could take it seriously, right?
"Any time the court of Honest rules in my favor, I'm content," Shadow said just before the door swung shut behind him.
Despite the obvious animosity, he didn't think Shadow had something against him. No way.
However, Sonic couldn't help but feel that Honest had something against him. What that thing was, though, wasn't exactly obvious. I mean, what could Honest know? She was just a lowly fanfiction writer. She didn't even have that many readers. And her YouTube channel wasn’t even worth talking about.
Entering the familiar automatic doors of the local Eggmart, Honest and Shadow were greeted, as per usual, by the lone Eggpawn at the checkout counter. They both waved and headed for the side of the store containing food items.
All Eggmart locations had the same structure. One side of the store contained oil, robot accessories, and dangerous chemicals, while the opposite side of the store contained common household items such as food and medicine. Although Honest had only visited the locations in Station Square and Eggmanland, she was sure there were other locations in different parts of the world. After all, Eggman was very prone to focus his efforts on everything besides crime in his off-time. What was the last crime he commited? He had caused some minor destruction of property way at the beginning of {w/Rosy}, in the second half of chapter 1, which resulted in him being fired. Then, he stole the documents regarding his firing from the school with the help of Nic and Nack’s Robbing Services in chapter 23 of {w/Rosy}. But that was all to secure his job. He wasn’t going to let his teaching degree go to waste. I’m not saying that what he did was justified, I’m just saying that whatever crimes he commits are only so that he can continue to further his legal enterprises.
Recently, a new element to the stores was a robot that walked up and down the aisles recommending products. It seemed to be a ripoff of one of the robots from Chao in Space, complete with a cylindrical body, two legs with wheels, and a round top. However, this robot had two round eyes and a large, square screen that was made to look like it was holding some sort of sign like a Mobian employee might.
Apparently this was the first time Shadow had seen this robot, so he immediately, upon encountering it roaming the aisle in front of them, pulled a gun out of nowhere and aimed it at its illuminated screen. Oh yeah, this had been a superpower of his for forever. I'm pretty sure he used it in chapter 1 of {w/Sonic}. The robot seemed to be scared, stopping in its tracks and rolling backwards slightly.
"No, Shadow. That robot's not hostile. Look. It doesn't even have any weapons," Honest told him. When Shadow just continued to aim the gun at the robot, she continued. "It's a new addition. It suggests products. See, look at its screen."
The glowing screen on the robot's chest was showing numerous deals on products from around the store, complete with a miniature map showing where in the store they could be found.
"Can you show us where the oatmeal is?" Shadow asked the robot. Usually he was the last person to be trying out the latest technology, but this was an exception as he was still sceptical of its docility. The screen started showing static. "Did it hear me?"
"Is it broken?" Honest asked. Suddenly it blue screened.
Shadow squinted at the screen, reaching out to touch it just in case it was a touchscreen. The robot looked to shake with a stronger ferocity the closer Shadow drew. No, it was more of a shudder, like what a person might do when they were cold.
"What's that?" Shadow turned around at Honest's question. She was pointing at the top of the robot's head. A red bump was rising out of the top of the robot. As soon as Shadow looked away, red lasers started firing out of the thing on its head in all directions. Honest dove to the ground, taking cover, and Shadow, despite not seeing the threat, dove down as well just in time.
The robot looked like it was having a fit, firing lasers in all directions unpredictably. However, Honest and Shadow seemed to be safe for the time being at least because the lasers were soaring high above both their heads.
In fact, Honest was able to sit up and still be well below the barrage. She looked around and noticed all the packages of food on the top shelves around them were all partially melted and charred. That could've easily been Shadow's head.
Suddenly the robot seemed to… Short out? The red thing on its head that had been firing the lasers seemed to fizzle out and go dim. Honest and Shadow stood up.
"Uh, is this an attack by Eggman?" Honest asked. The robot seemed to be spouting steam from around where its smooth, metallic head joined with its metal body.
"What would the Doctor have to gain from attacking us?" Shadow asked. However, he did have to admit that the fact the robot just seemed to stop working really pointed towards that being the case. It reeked of one of his previous schemes for sure.
"Yeah, that's right," Honest affirmed, thinking. "But it's his robot, right? Though why does it fire lasers? It's an Eggmart robot."
Then, suddenly, the robot's eyes turned solid white and narrowed in anger and fierceness as it charged at the nearest shelf, a tall one filled with multi-colored boxes of any kind of cereal you could think of. The two of them then jumped back in surprise, and Honest smiled as if she finally solved some sort of age-old mystery.
"Hey, why don't you go back to the laser-firing? Or are you resorting to cave-man-like fighting techniques in order to frighten us with your savagery?"
The robot just seemed to get more fired up after that, expelling even more steam and looking for the next set of shelves to upset. Hey, where was the steam coming from, anyway? Has Eggman ever built a steam powered robot? Alright, I'm searching it up… Let's see, there's animals, electricity, fossil fuels, Chaos Drives… Nope. Nothing about steam.
The robot seemed to remember why it was there and ceased its senseless destruction, rotating to face its targets once more. Er, target. Coming at Shadow with lightning speed, Honest picked up on the fact that this may be the final blow and pulled her shadowy compadre out of the way just in time. The robot kept coming and crashed right into the wall behind them which just happened to be covered up with drink machines. The force of the impact caused the robot's form to completely bust through the fronts of the machines. The bottles within must've been pierced as well, as soda of all colors began to shoot and stream out of where the steel of the robot connected with the drink machines' ruined faces. The steam increased tenfold as the 'bot's head popped off and their attacker's true identity was revealed.
"I appreciate you saving my life, but I think you left a bruise." Shadow was rubbing his right forearm with a pained expression.
"Sorry! It'll be gone by the time we have to perform tomorrow," Honest assured him.
"You two!" A silhouette rose out of the steam, er, well, the steam actually seemed to follow him. It was spouting out of his ears. His jackal-like ears…
Shadow perked up, severely caught off guard, but kept his eyes fixed somewhere completely irrelevant rather than on the speaker. Honest looked far less alert, regarding the newcomer with a calm but attentive expression.
"No, no, no- You!" the previously incognito mongrel exclaimed, jabbing his finger at Honest.
"Well, make up your mind already," Honest replied impatiently.
"Why are you even here? How is it your responsibility to follow him around everywhere? It's like, it's like… You're guarding him. Expressly to discourage me."
Honest pretended to only just now discover that she wasn't guarding Shadow very well right then.
"Oh, wow! Would you look at that! You're standing just centimeters from your target! You could just shoot him up right now. Blast him into oblivion. Why don't you go ahead then? I'll just be standing over here." Honest took a comically large step backwards.
Shadow began to sweat profusely, but Infinite just continued to stand there.
"What are you waiting for? Go!" Honest said, continuing to cheer him on from a distance.
"I- The Ruby's out of charge…" the masked jackal told her, hanging his head.
"That's what I would say, too," Honest told him, crossing her arms and taking a few more reasonable steps forward to rejoin them.
"No, it really is!" he stressed. They already believed him, though. "Ever since the towers came down, ever since the Resistance destroyed them, the Phantom Ruby lost its ability to continuously charge. It can't store much energy, that's why the towers were necessary."
"Oh! It's like my laptop. You know the one, Shadow. The one I say is on life support? The battery quit holding a charge ages ago. So, I took it out and now, if the charger is unplugged, it shuts off. Basically, when the towers were destroyed, the Ruby's charger was unplugged. However, the Ruby does have somewhat of a battery. It just has a capacity of like 10%. My laptop's battery had a capacity of 38% or so, so it's a teensy bit better off."
Shadow tilted his head with a doubtful expression. How can she claim her Hello Doggy duct tape-wrapped laptop's charge capacity is superior to the Phantom Ruby's when she doesn't have exact percentages?
Infinite rolled his eyes at Honest's attempt to explain his point for him. "Anyway, I need to go charge the Ruby up again before the play tomorrow. Be seeing you." The jackal then proceeded to walk out of the store and away from the chaos that had developed.
"Hey, at least the store has a cool new water feature." Shadow turned to look to where Honest was pointing. The punctured bottles of soda were forming some sort of rainbow fountain around the husk of the robot which Infinite had brutally murdered in order to use its outer casing as a disguise. It was kind of horrifying when you thought about it.
“And where’s the oatmeal?” Honest asked, turning around to observe the wreckage of the store.
Shadow looked solemnly at a nearby shelf where the last box of oatmeal sat, flames coming out of the top of it. “I found it while Infinite was toppling shelves, but it looks like the oatmeal only comes fully cooked by lasers.”
Honest didn’t even look at the box. She just went to a nearby shelf and grabbed a package of bagels. “The refrigerators weren’t damaged, right? Let’s go pick out some varieties of cream cheese.”
When Honest walked past him and towards the back of the store, Shadow turned and watched her pick out a package of jalapeño cream cheese as well as a couple packages of original.
“How will we keep them from spoiling while we’re at school?” the black and red hedgehog asked, curious.
“Doc Fin has a fridge in his room, remember?” Honest asked, beginning to carry the bagels and cream cheese to the checkout. Shadow followed, kicking molten packages and burning boxes out of her way. “I suppose it’s for keeping certain chemicals refrigerated for labs, but I’m sure he’d let us use it.”
“Is ᴛʜɪs ᴀʟʟ?”
“Yup!” Honest exclaimed in response. It was hard to keep from wanting to smile back at the robot even though its own smile wasn’t real. Curse Eggman and his ingenious but cruel robot designs.
The Egg Pawn at the checkout counter used its orange fingers to take the bagels and cream cheese from Honest and place them into one of the plastic bags, each adorned with an Eggman Industries logo, and tie the top. Shadow pulled the rings out of his spikes and paid while Honest took the bag and spun around with it.
“Tʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴏʀ ᴠɪsɪᴛɪɴɢ Eɢɢᴍᴀʀᴛ,” it said as they left.
“Sorry for what happened to the store,” Shadow apologised. The automatic doors closed behind them.
The Egg Pawn didn’t say anything in response. It just watched them leave with its glowing blue eyes.178Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3cgE8S7ST
