"Gerard?" I called, as the sun sliced through the curtains, heralding the start of a new day.
"Yes, Your Grace?" he called back, dusting his hands as he came into the room. "Sorry. Was ironing the Princess's shirt. She's due to go on her diplomatic mission today, and she wants to look her best."
I smiled - well, as much as a brain in a vat could smile - but the intent was there, and I always felt my heart warm at the mention of my eldest daughter, who turned forty today, and was ready for her first diplomatic mission ever since taking over as regent. Her daughter, Princess Clarissa, was due to take the throne in her mother's place until she returend, and I was grateful for the process which had allowed me to actually father children in the first place, ever since a catastrophic accident had destroyed my body over a hundred years ago. My brain had been saved and preserved in a vat full of a special liquid which allowed me to communicate with the outside world, and I'd been on the throne - in a manner of speaking - for well over a hundred years now. A hundred and three, to be precise, but no one was counting. "Have you heard from Baron Schelmer?"
Gerard grimaced. "Yes," he said. "The pompous ass is leading today's push to have you cast off the throne. He's said you're useless, and the realm will be better served by a flesh and blood monarch; namely, er, well..."
I sighed. "He means to marry either Fiona or Clarissa," I said flatly.
"Yes, your Grace," Gerard said reluctantly. "In fact, he's aimed his sights on the young Princess, and I fear for her wellbeing if he should get his slimy hands on her."
"He won't," I said coldly. "I plan on taking the wind out of all their sails. They think because I'm a brain in a vat, I've lost all my common sense. Well, they should start reconsidering their positions!"
"What do you plan on doing?" Gerard asked, a little nervous, but also very excited, and I smiled again. Had it been a real smile, Baron Schelmer and his cronies would have been shitting themselves, and for good reason. I'd had a smile that was accurately described as being better suited to a murderer when I was planning something devious, and I hadn't lost the trait during my tenure in my vat.
"I'm going to remind the good baron and his slimy associates that I am still the King," I said. "And if they want to challenge me, they'd better have all their affairs in order."
Gerard grinned. "Is it wrong of me to admit I'm looking forward to this?" he said.
"Not at all," I told him. "In fact, I'd call you crazy for not being excited about what I have to say. Now, go finish ironing my daughter's shirt, and make sure the guard around Clarissa is doubled. She's not to be left on her own for a moment, except when she's otherwise occupied in the bathroom or the privy. Otherwise, she's to be watched at all times."
"I can arrange that," Gerard said, grim again.
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The Hall of Kings was a massive edifice of black and gold, with faded banners lining the walls, and massive torches burning in a double column stretching the length of the hall. Despite its name, queens had ruled from the Throne of the Elders, and today, Clarissa sat that throne, her face pale. Once the property of the lost high elven kings, the Throne of the Elders contained all their experience, and anyone who sat the throne today was given access to that experience, often at the price of their sanity. I was the only one who'd been immune to its allure, thanks to my status as a brain in a vat, but since I couldn't actually sit on the throne, it fell to Fiona, who'd thus far managed to withstand the onslaught of memories and wisdom. Clarissa, on the other hand, looked as if she wanted to be sick, and I winced as my vat was wheeled into place at her right hand. "You okay?" I whispered.
"It's all just a bit much, Grandfather," she admitted. "I'll be fine. Sir Hugo and Sir Lee taught me a few tricks on how to withstand it. It's just taking a bit of getting used to."
I suspected her pallor also had something to do with Baron Schelmer, and I made a private vow to have him executed before the day was out. He already had a long list of crimes attached to his name, but I'd bided my time until I had all the evidence I needed to put him away for good. I'd received the last piece of the puzzle the day before, and I was looking forward to seeing the pompous toad get his just desserts.
Presently, the council came into the hall, and I gritted non-existent teeth at the way Baron Schelmer's gaze roved over my poor granddaughter. But she wasn't without defence; Sirs Hugo and Lee stepped to the fore, swords drawn, and the slimy bastard went pale, hastily licking his lips as he took his seat. The two knights didn't let up on their stance, and Clarissa further squelched the baron with a glare that should have withered him on the spot. It didn't, of course, but Schelmer didn't look as self-assured as he'd first done.
The rest of the council took their seats, a little pale at the way their leader had been squashed so ruthlessly, and Gerard stepped to the fore. "The council is in session," he declared. "State your business."
Schelmer leaped into the breach. "It's about the new law we wish passed today," he said. "Ever since his Grace the King had his brain transplanted into a vat, he's ruled well and wisely for the last hundred or so years. And we are ever grateful to him for steering our realm into an age of prosperity such as it has never known before. But he's ruled long enough, and we believe it is time his daughter, Princess Fiona, became queen in her own right. She is more than capable, and we believe she will continue the good works his Grace the King started."
"I see," I said. "Well, I can't say your idea doesn't have merit, Schelmer."
He puffed up at this, and I almost regretted deflating him. "However," I continued, "it's come to our attention that you're seeing yourself as the next king, wedded to my granddaughter, who has only just turned eighteen, and who has already been betrothed to Prince Fionn of Anglewold."
The council gasped, and Schelmer turned pale. The betrothal actually hadn't happened yet, but Fiona was on her way to Woldstraak as we spoke, and would likely be bringing Prince Fionn back by week's end once King Harald and Queen Magaret had discussed the benefits such a marriage would bring to both our realms. "I cannot, therefore, grant you the title you seek," I said. "However, I can promise you that you will hold an esteemed place in Queen Fiona's council when she eventually succeeds me on the throne."
Schelmer took a deep breath. "Then you agree it is time for you to retire?" he said, looking hopeful. Again, I almost hated having to take the wind out of his sails again.
"In time," I said. "Which brings me to the point I know you're all dying to make. I understand you wish to limit the reign of those who meet a similar fate to me to one hundred years. It's an admirable proposition, but not one I care to entertain at this time."
"Why not?" Earl Therey demanded. He was Schelmer's best friend and co-conspirator, and I was looking forward to dusting him off almost as much as I was looking forward to Schelmer's demise.
"You forget yourself!" Gerard snapped, and Therey blushed, but subsided. "I beg forgiveness," he said through clenched teeth, "but with all due respect, what if a tyrant is placed on the throne, with no checks and balances to stop him?"
"There will be checks and balances," I told him. "But there will be those who will wish to carry on my good works, and who will want the chance to be able to retire on their terms, not at the whim of a corrupt council!"
They all paled at my sudden shout, but I wasn't done. "This session is finished for the day," I said coldly. "We will reconvene on the morrow."
Not a one of them dared disregard my direct order, but there were plenty of mutterings as they withdrew, often throwing me dirty glares over their shoulders, unitl the great double doors boomed closed behind them. "That was magnificent," Clarissa said, smiling in genuine admiration.
"It's only the start," I told her. "Now go and get some rest. I've got guards on your watch to make sure no one can get close to you, and all those serving you have been vetted by Gerard."
Clarissa smiled and hopped down, before disappearing through a small side door behind the dais. "Schelmer won't take this well," Gerard warned, once she was gone.
"He lays one hand on her head, he loses it, and his head," I promised. "Now wheel me back to my chambers, and summon Count Volger."199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNJVMKxSR3
Gerard nodded, but as he began wheeling me out of the throne room, I saw a thousand questions burning behind his eyes. I didn't like deceiving my oldest and best friend, but there was too much of a risk. Not everyone in the palace was loyal to me, and Gerard hobnobbed with quite a few outsiders. Until I could be sure nothing would be extracted from him, I had to keep my cards close to my chest.
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