With Every Bullet So Far
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I sat across the table from my brother, patiently waiting for his steak to be served. Father to my left at the head, devouring what he had made for himself. And my stepmother to my right at the butt (foot) of the table, waiting for the steak to sear and nibbling on brie, typical for host and hostess, a picture-perfect nuclear family. My father and brother laughed, their voices booming off the walls, my father barely able to get the words out between laughs, his face turning red asked me if I knew of the comedian they were talking about. I didn’t. It was Al Bundy’s character in Married with Children. He asked me if I’d ever watched the show. I hadn’t. My father begins describing the scene, all of us at the table leaning in, carefully listening to what was promised to be a hilarious quip. The scene begins with Al Brody’s character sitting at home eating a sandwich. “No, he wasn’t eating a sandwich,” my brother cuts in, “he was just wiping his mouth with a napkin.” My father continues, “so he’s sitting there and his wife comes through the door with her hands full of shopping bags,” he sidetracks, “you know, the wife she always comes in with shopping bags and her makeup done and her nails and is always loud and annoying,” and proceeds to imitate the woman with feminine hand gestures and gasps. He continues, “She says honey, did you miss me? Her husband replies, with every bullet so far.” My father’s head falls back with laughter, and he starts to explain the joke as if it wasn’t clear. I look to my stepmother, who’s nodding and smiling with bright white straight teeth. And I look back at my father, who’s pleased with himself and has already begun reciting another joke. And I realized, I was smiling too.
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A while later. I found the joke.
A seven-second clip on youtube, Al Bundy- Classic Wife Insult
She’s not holding any shopping bags.
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