So I don’t really know what made mom think this but she said so much mean things to me. 😭😭😭😭😭 so we were eating and my mom was like “are you going to eat all of that?” Like I was like uhm yes I’m hungry? And she just told me she is like “I kept on passing by your room and seeing if you would even get up to eat. You’re so lazy. You don’t even remember to eat.” I wanted to say so badly “F**K LIFE DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I GO THROUGH EVERYDAY? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS ON MY MIND RIGHT NOW?!” I wanted to say so badly, but if I do I would probably get kicked out. 😭😭😭😭 and I know she doesn’t want me here like on the earth. Im scared. When I  try to talk to her about my depression she says “ I DONT GIVE A F**K ABOUT YOU WHY SHOULD I CARE I F***KING HATE YOU SHUT THE F**K UP B**CH”. Why? Why me, what did I do to deserve this poor life. The only reason im here right now is because of genesis. Right now she is on a call pretending like I’m not crying my eyes out and yelling and screaming. She always said “You have to die a few times before you can really live.” And I guess she is right. I still am dealing with depression and trying to live my life. I act happy though I’m not. I smile though I’m sad. I try to live but I’m dead inside. I can’t feel life. I just need a spark like a reason to live. Im the one who basically does everything for my brother. I was the one who basically helped him through everything. When my parents fight my brother cries and screams and I take him to the room and play calming music on headphones and put them on him. My brother doesn’t even have a fun childhood. He deserves the type of childhood a real kid had. Just because my mom didn’t have a fun childhood and she couldn’t go to school doesn’t mean we don’t. She won’t let me have a little freedom or fun. I just want to live a normal teenager’s life. I wanna know how it feels like to actually live. One day I dream to get along with my mom and for my brother to live a good childhood. On the other hand my 언니 is a regular teenager you would expect. She has a cool iPhone and is always on Snapchat goes over to anyone’s house. And basically has the best life ever. She works out has a hourglass body clear skin and the dream body. While me, im a disgrace to my family since I’m the middle child. Im a fat lazy b**ch. If murder wasn’t illegal Geni would murder my mom already. She already told me she would soooo……. But anyways? 😭

From what I remember my mom has always been the kind and nice mom you would expect. But since 5th grade she has changed a bunch. In 5th grade she used to abuse me. I haven’t told anyone about this except for genesis. I am finally ready to speak out about it. 😮‍💨 So randomly she just started to get abusive to me and I did nothing wrong to her so why, why did she do that? She abused me so hard I still have many marks on me that’s why I never wear shorts genesis. And when we were talking about shaving I was the only one who didn’t shave on my legs. Why? Because of my scars. My mom hit me so hard I had marks and they are probably never going to go away. When ever I try to shave it hurts very badly because of my bruises. Finally someone called the cops on her so she went in jail. She stayed for MANY MANY months. Most of 5th grade and the whole summer. She got bailed out by my aunt, her brother’s wife which is her sister in law. When she came back it was the worst for me. It was like I had no one to talk to. I was suffering from depression. And when I tried to talk to my mom about it she wouldn’t react she doesn’t even care. She hates me. Yesterday night, May 5 she said “your acting like a rock, you have no feelings why should anyone care?” That is probably one of the worst things your mom can say about you. I said back” If I have no feelings then why do I cry every night? Is that not a feeling, crying and having depression isn’t feeling, right?” Then I got put into therapy. My OWN MOM thought I was going crazy she put me into therapy and she wouldn’t come pick me up for hours. Some people really don’t deserve kids. I don’t deserve to have such nice friends like genesis or katerin or camila. I was crying in my room for HOURS. My eyes were red and puffy. I WAS ONLY 11 AND DEALING WITH DEPRESSION AND ABUSIVE PARENTS. I have tried to do suicide for many many years. I remember when I tried to cut myself my mom caught me. And she just said “ go on do it. Cut yourself. I don’t care.” And she just continued to do her thing. She started cooking while I was literally cutting my self. On my 11th birthday I invited everyone I knew. When we got there my mom acted like she actually cared about me. She hates me she doesn’t love me she wants me to die. Even I, myself would like to die. If I do I don’t have to experience this life anymore. I could get it over with. When we were taking pictures she would say “smile or you know what will happen”. I would smile…. While crying. No one even cared. I had the worst life ever. When I met genesis in 6th grade and katerin you guys really changed my life. Like I mean it. I was thinking about killing myself. But when I met you guys you both really changed me. I was finally laughing. Instead crying for hours I was laughing with genesis. I can’t believe how much 2 people can do. I really can’t thank you guys enough. But like really because I was about to kill myself. So thank, thank you for being the only people who actually cared, loved me, never talked about my insecurities, and much more. I am speechless how much my life has turned around. I still cry thinking about my mom. She still hates me and we still struggle with that. She still calls me names and wants me to die. But I’m not gonna let that stop me. Whenever I think about killing myself I think about genesis and katerin. You guys are basically the only reason I’m living right now. And thanks A LOT. I don’t know how to repay you anymore. I love you guys with ALL my heart! And Ty for helping me live basically. I can’t even explain how much I love you guys. Thank you so much.

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So this is a prologue of the story.

I was strolling through the neighborhood with scout (dog) and realized that someone new had moved in next door. I went and welcomed him to the neighborhood and we had chatted for a while. After that I invited him to my house so we can chat more and have a snack together for a while. Then he had left. His fluffy soft hair, brown eyes that glisten from a mile away, his cute smile. When he smiles I always zone out on it. His dimples show so cutely. *1 month later of being friends* “I need to show my true feelings to him!” What will happen next? read the story to find out…….😏😏🤔🤔

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So these are some poems I randomly thought about one day! and btw I might update it and more and more as I think of more! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

I ate an apple, it was gummy, so yummy!

Please do not make fun of me or say you’re lying or this and that! If you’re going to read it then don’t make mean comments on it! Thank you so much and have a WONDERFUL day!

Hi?

HiSuggestions:

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This is a cool thing I guess?

Nakamura Yua is a transfer college student from Japan moving to Korea, he wants to become an electric guitarist in Incheon. He manages to join a band called “Avalanche” and he finds himself being the only foreigner in the group. There are five guys in the band—him being the fifth—and he gets along with everyone but falls head over heals with this guy named Lee Ho-seok. Read this to find out more about his story!

Inspiration for this story: ur_local_demonking on penana

It’s the biggest Halloween party Ariana Teuer has ever been to. It actually might be her first but of course nobody knows that. She and her friends are super excited for the loud music, messy dancing, hot people, and – most of all – the costumes! She had to admit it did sound super cliche but simply being a senior in high school is super cliche. Ariana had the best costume idea and nothing could ruin her night. Until suddenly the power cuts out, the doors and windows lock, and she and her friends are stuck in a mansion with at least 200 other people she’s never met. And no way out It doesn’t seem horrible at first, not until kids start disappearing and show up mutilated and very much dead.

Also on:

https://neovel.io/book/16182/EN/confessions-of-a-teenage-clown ​​​​​​​