I've been feeling like my life is a never-ending cycle of sadness. My grandparents passed away when I was young, and I've been struggling to find purpose and meaning in my life ever since. I've did multiple extra curriculars , and I've been unable to form meaningful relationships with anyone. My room is small and dingy, and I spend most of my time holed up there, feeling lonely and lost.
I try to distract myself with art and playing viola/harpp, but even those bring me little joy. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life, and I can't shake the feeling that there's something better out there for me, but I'll never be able to find it.
I've tried to seek out therapy and support groups, but I've found it hard to connect with others who understand what I'm going through. It feels like everyone around me is living a happier, more fulfilling life, and I'm just stuck in this rut.
I've lost count of how many times I've cried myself to sleep at night, feeling like I'm all alone in the world. I've tried to reach out to my few remaining friends and family members, but they all seem to have their own lives and problems to deal with.
I know that I need to make a change, but I don't know where to start. I feel like I'm trapped in this cycle of sadness, and I don't know how to break free. I just want to be happy and fulfilled, but it feels like that's a luxury that's reserved for others, not for someone like me.

Hello everyone i am back from my mental health break. Well as may have help very little im still glad i took time to myself to gain my thoughts. Bad news is i have to go to court again because someone thinks my mommy who caused my whole abuse and my mental issues is innocent  so i have to go speak there with my daddies right before Christmas so thats fun. Good news is i finished my orchestra concert a week ago which I had a solo in yay!

Hello everyone i am back from my mental health break. as well as it  may have help very little im still glad i took time to myself to gain my thoughts. Bad news is i have to go to court again because someone thinks my mommy who caused my whole abuse and my mental issues is innocent  so i have to go speak there with my daddies right before Christmas so thats fun. Good news is i finished my orchestra concert a week ago and I got my art piece selected for my schools art show. I still feel like crap daily even with good accomplishments. :(

Dear Penana Team,
I am writing to inform you all that I have decided to leave the Penana writing app for a while. This decision has not been easy for me, as I have truly enjoyed my time here and have learned so much about writing and creativity. However, I have come to realize that my mental health is not capable of handling the demands of the app at this time.
For the past few months, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety. I have tried various methods to cope, but unfortunately, they have not been enough. I have found that the constant pressure to produce high-quality content and the need to constantly engage with the community have exacerbated my symptoms.
I have tried to push through, but it has become clear to me that I cannot continue in this capacity. My mental health is my top priority, and I must take steps to ensure that I am taking care of myself.
I want to thank the Penana team for the opportunity to be a part of this community. I have learned so much from my fellow writers and the app's features, and I will always be grateful for the experience. I will do my best to ensure a smooth transition and complete any outstanding tasks before my departure.
Please know that I will be taking a break from writing for a while, as I focus on my mental health. I hope to return to the app at a future date when I am feeling more well.
Thank you again for all your support.
Sincerely,
Your emo friend Raven 🖤

So, Guess who changing there aesthetic from emo to sc3n3 k1d! ME OF COURSE! 🖤 

Guess what! My mommy is getting released from jail in 2 months 🤢. I am now back in orchestra and pick me girl sara got in school suspension for a week for destorying school property aka my instrument and for lying about the issu  . ALSO I BROKE UP WITH MY TOXIC ABUSIVE GIRLFRIEND AND GOT HER SUSPENDED FOR 2 MOMTHS and she has to get therapy from now on at some anger management facility or some mental hospital I can’t remember. 

I am now officially kicked out of orchestra and now put into ap art in replacement. So this means I have 2 art classes now which are advanced art and ap art. so everyone this sucks. I have 2 big art projects due by Tuesday and Wednesday 

Guess what yall! Im apparently getting upgraded to ap art next week. Sad news I got kicked from orchestra this year lovley. They kicked there only harp player. Now there also gonna one viola member short 

1st week of school and im already getting bullied! This is what I get for having a very abusive ex girlfriend! Woo

So basically I'm getting stalked by my ex girlfriend.... She also has been blackmailing me for  3 month now. I don't know what to do and I don't know who to tell and how to tell them about this situation. I feel icky, geez I'm trying not to cry writing this but... I want  be in a breakup were we just become friends and not do whatever this s**t is. I'm so stressed out.. I HATE THIS!!!!!. WHY DOES EVERYONE TREAT ME LIKE S**T AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY EX GIRLFRIEND OR MY MOM. IM A WORTHLESS PERSON CAUSE EVERY PERSON I MEET IS GONNA ABUSE ME. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS PAIN. I ALMOST TRIED TO HANG MYSELF CAUSE I COULDN'T DEAL WITH THE PAIN OF LIVINF BUT MY LITTLE SISTER  STOPPED ME AND TOLD MY DADDY. I am getting therapy but I still feel s**t daily. This is how I feel "Do you ever get a little bit tired of lifeLike you're not really happy but you don't wanna dieLike you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive'Cause you gotta surviveLike your body's in the room but you're not really thereLike you have empathy inside but you don't really careLike you're fresh outta love but it's been in the air Am I past repair"  🖤Your nonbinary emo friend Raven 

Well. Uhm bye bye uh... I will miss you

😭 this breakup is going to my head 

I'm alive surprisingly... Well I went to a Melanie Martinez concert with my aunt and my girlfriend broke up with me cuz apparently she can't be seen dating a nonbinary person, so f**k me it's my fault I ruined everything 🥲