What is the best insult you've ever heard?

for example:

Is your ass jealous of the amount of s**t that just came out of your mouth?

I don't hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back?

the winner's entry will be used next time my enemy gets on my nerves.

Write about life in no more than five words.

Judging will be based on creativity, how interesting it is and how well it sums up life.

you can enter up to three times.

Write a short story about the life of a super villain.

It needs to be in the form of a diary entry but it can be flexible.

minimum 200 words.

Write about a philosophical question.

What you need to do:

- choose a question

- decide on a view (or not if you want)

- write an article (poem, passage, whatever you want) about that question

MAX 500 words!!!

Making your own quote is nice and all, but there is often value in other's words as well. Find the best quote you can.

Good luck!

Write a comeback to one of the three insults:

Have you ever heard anything that just doesn't feel right?  If so... why?  Pick a common cliché and defy it!

I have my own blog on this website called "Defying Clichés."  Now, I present a contest!    However, I tend to stick with phrases in my blog... in thiscontest, it's you'll have a bit more free reign!

You can pick any commonly discussed topic, and talk about it.  Explain it in a way that hasn't been heard before!  Get creative, and opinion is needed!  Don't avoid absolutes, say what you think about it.  Is it right?  Is it wrong?

Again, this isn't just phrases, it can be about religion, feminism-- heck even homosexuality.  Anything that you think either has a bad name, or too good of one!  Make sure to explain your reasoning!  :)

Rules:

•No bashing

•Be respectful of other entries if you're in disagreement

•Remember that the goal of this contest is to debate a common moral/idea and rewrite it's definition!

•Have fun!

How was your Christmas dinner? Good or bad? Were you alone or with some friends and/or family? What made it so special this time or the reverse?

Tell us in fullest detail how it all went. As if trying to capture the scene into words.

No word limit and please keep it G-rate if there are few "special" scenes (mild language, few punches, bruises, barely a bloodly nose, etc.) The rest is up to you.

Merry Christmas and good luck writers! ^.^

You get 1 sentance.

as many entries as you want!

Finish this phrase:

He took a long, shaky breath, "Listen I..."

Feel free to write a whole story, finish the phrase, write a script, or write a poem. Do whatever you think feels right!

I wish you the best of luck!

Most of us can hold our own in a debate when the topic is something we strongly agree with. The question is, can you debate something you may not completely agree with.

For this contest, you will pick any topic that is debate worthy and choose the side that you agree with. Set that side somewhere to the side for some other day, because today you stand for the side you may not agree with.

For example, lets say you are for gay marriage. You are going to do a debate against gay marriage.

Any length, any topic, any rating is acceptable, but keep in mind this is a debate. Winners will be chosen by content. Your spelling and such may not be perfect, but in this contest what truly matter is the content. How well can you debate a topic you don't agree with.

Here's a few suggestions for topics. Use one of these or come up with one of your own. It can be something major, or even something minor, just back it up with facts. While your opinion matters, you need facts to prove your case.

Example topics are:

gay marriage

religious issues

sexism

abortion

dogs make better pets than cats (or vice versa)

anything that you can debate is allowed here, so lets see how well you can debate a topic you don't completely agree with. If I could do it a few years ago in a high school Honor's English class, you can do it now. Have fun.

Write a comeback to one of the three insults:    1) “I would love to insult you, but I’m afraid I won’t do as well as nature did." 

I want you to the most cliche, unoriginal, so bad that it's funny story. Original or fan fiction can work to. The photo is from My Immortal, an infamously bad fanfiction.

Only rule I have is that it must be at least 150. And please don't write porn.