Silence surrounds me for the first time, since being put in the hospital. Unsure of how long I’ve been out, I open my eyes and see Jayce, Jezza, and Ziek all passed out around me. I glance at the clock. It’s just after 8 pm. I wonder if they were just exhausted. I’m feeling slightly better but not quite a hundred percent. I realize I’m no longer hooked up to the machines and my bedding has been changed. I’m still bleeding, but not pouring out of me like it was before. Another realization strikes, did I lose them all? Panic begins to raise inside me, my breathing becomes shallow, and I begin hyperventilating.
“Woah, Asena, calm down, or you will lose the last one too. It’s hard, I can’t imagine the thoughts and feelings you are going through. It must be horrible.” Jezzabelle looks as if she’s going to cry.
After a few minutes I’m able to calm myself down, I shift “Ah, ouch, that hurts. Don’t cry Jezza. It will be alright. I’m stronger than you think. How long have I been asleep?”
“You shouldn’t be in your human form yet. It’s still too dangerous for you. I’m just glad you are doing a little better. Doc says you will probably be here for a week or two or until your bleeding stops or at least slows way down to like spotting. He’s extremely concerned about the loss of blood. You have been asleep for almost two days, or maybe a little more. You exhausted yourself, and if you don’t get back into your wolf form and lay back down it will happen again. You need to eat though, or they will insert a feeding tube.” She whispers.
My body automatically shifts itself back into wolf form because of my weakened state. I sigh and use my nose to lift Jezzabelle’s chin. My soft gaze and best wolf smile make her smile as well. She carefully wraps her arms around my neck hugging me.
“There’s a sight I never thought I’d see.” Leviathan shows up at the door. I smelled the air. He smelled like earth and woods mixed with flowers and I knew exactly what had happened. I growl and snarl at him not even caring if I woke anyone else up.
“Feisty little Asena. You really think you can scare me right now. You are half dead anyway, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here to say it’s over between us. I’m with Minne now. You may have won the alpha title fairly, but I still won in the end. I won the girl. We are done.” He says.
“Good. I don’t want anything more to do with you, you killed three of my pups. I’m in this room because of you. Even if it’s your pup, it will NEVER be your pup.” I snarl at him, still in my wolf form.
“You’re still pregnant?” he asks, hopeful.
“Why do you care. You almost killed me. I’m starting to wonder if that wasn’t your goal in the end.” I growl.
“Why the hell would I want to kill a girl like you, Asena? You are a good wolf. There needs to be more like you. I have been worried about you, but you scared the hell out of me during our battle. I never would have expected that YOU of all wolves, would be like the mother.” He says sadly.
“I am her reincarnate you jerk. Why else would I be like her? Looks and all? Now if you don’t mind, I need my rest, unless you came to finish me off, I request you leave.” I speak using an aggressive tone.
“As you ask, Matriarch Asena.” He speaks downheartedly.
“Matriarch?” I ask confused.
“Higher than alpha. You are stronger than me, so you now lead. That is the way of the wolf.” He explains.
“We are equal. I don’t mind being called Matriarch, but we are equal, or you still run everything and if you have a question, then come to me. Either way, I refuse to strip you of your power, despite how angry and pissed off at you I am.” I say starring at him from my position on the bed.
“You want me to continue running things, and ask you stuff only if I have a question?” He thinks about it for a couple seconds, “Alright, but we are still done. I have Minne now, and she doesn’t sleep around with my brothers and my best friend.”
“Whatever… I am no longer interested in you anyway. Not after what happened in the arena, and after. Now leave before the rest of them wake up.” I sternly speak.
“That was an accident. I didn’t know you were pregnant. I would have never challenged you had I known that. I chose you because you are one of my best fighters if not the best. Well now I can say the best because you would have bested me had I not yielded. Well, if you weren’t suffering like you were. I’m sorry I lost site of the important thing. My pack. I should have noticed you weren’t yourself, instead I was caught up with beautiful amethyst eyes. I no longer deserve the title Alpha. It should be yours. I will step down as soon as you are feeling like yourself.” Leviathan says.
“Enough with the pity party bull shit, Leviathan. I don’t want your position. You are a great alpha, you just got lost. Everyone makes mistakes, including myself. No one can escape life without a few mistakes here and there. What you need to do, is learn from this event, and focus on becoming better, and overcoming what problems may come with the mistake you made. You may have lost your best friend, I suggest you smooth things over with your brothers and Ziek when you get the chance, much like you did with me. I’m still unhappy, but I will get over it soon enough.” I state. “Use that brain of yours and think about what has been said. I am going to rest more, so I can heal faster. Goodbye.”
Leviathan leaves without further conversation. Much to my pleasure. I’m still pissed at him for killing my pups, but at the same time Kayden had a point. How was he supposed to know I was pregnant? I never told anyone until it was too late. Yes, even I make mistakes that I have to live with for the rest of my life. I should never have accepted that challenge in the state I was in, but I felt like I would be a weak link if I chose to say no.
“Mon chèrie? What’s the ma… why was Leviathan here?” Ziek asks threateningly.
“He came to tell me him and I are done. We never were. He’s with Minne now which is fine. I could care less. I’m still pissed off at him even though we are both to blame for what happened. I’m pissed that he challenged me to impress a girl, and I’m pissed at myself for going through it in my already weakened condition.” I state. “He’s not the only one at fault here.”
“He should have never challenged you in the first place! If he would have just listened and let you be, this never would have happened. He should pay more attention.” Ziek says heated.
“Ziek, please. I’m still so tired.” I say kindly.
“She has a point, you know. You need to stay calm. Your stress will stress her out and possibly the only pup left and then there might not be a pup.” Jezzabelle says. “Leviathan was willing to give his position to Asena because he felt like he didn’t deserve it, because he got caught up in pretty eyes. She, of course, denied it, but became the matriarch of the pack, but it will still be run by Leviathan, she will just be in the shadows pretty much.”
“Why would you do that? He killed your pups, your children.” Ziek asks me.
“And if it were your sister in the same position, how would you feel. I gave her a second chance, so I am going to give him one as well. As far as Kayden goes… I just don’t know what to do about him…” I state.
“You just worry about resting. We will try to figure out what’s going on with Kayden.” Ziek says.
“Nothing is going on with me. I came here to check on her. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you at first. Levi explained everything to me, Madam Matriarch. If you need me don’t be shy. I will come if I can. I’m sorry I got so irritated. I get defensive sometimes.” Kayden says.
“Apologize to Jayce, and Jayce can apologize to you for what he said. However, that can wait until later, I need to get some rest. I will see you all later.” I lay my head on my big paws and fall asleep.
---------
Asena, my child. You poor thing.
You have dealt with so much lately.
Four male wolves all fighting, because of the loss of your pups.
One is the cause. One doesn’t know how to react.
Two care deeply for you, but only one wants to be with you.
How will you handle your future?
The loss of your pups is a sign my dear sweet, matriarch.
You had four possible mates, two are no longer involved.
One is teetering on the edge. Who will you choose in the end?
You have the power to choose your true mate but be cautious.
I hear the mothers voice in my head. Not quite understanding what she means. I ask, “What do you mean, it’s my choice? I thought it was chosen for me, and how can I focus on that when I’m hurting so bad right now and am extremely weak.”
Asena, my dear, you have always been the one to choose.
You are my reincarnate, or rather, my descendant.
You have powers others only dream of.
You have not unlocked them all. You can choose mates for others.
I will unlock your ability to heal, but keep in mind,
Everything has a cost. You may heal yourself without cost,
But if you heal another, you lessen your ability to heal yourself for two moon cycles.
I feel warmth filling my soul and moving throughout my body. I know she can’t save the pups I have already lost, but I feel the other pup healing and becoming stronger, along with myself. I wake up after that feeling stops and I feel so much better and way more energized. I stretch and yawn. I feel like I’ve been asleep for days. I shift into human form and wrap myself in a blanket to cover my naked body.
Delilah? Are you available to bring me food, if not is Isa?
Asena? You’re awake? Oh, happy day! It’s been like five days. The loss of blood along with other things… they just recently took the tube out. They were about to give up on you… I told them… I told them all that you’d pull through. I knew you would. I will bring you food right away. Should I alert the others?
No please don’t. I’d like to eat in peace, I will talk with them all later. I am feeling so much better.
Okay, I will be right there with some food for you!
I cut the connection knowing she would be here soon. There was only one person that came to mind which was a surprise. Jezzabelle. I mind-link her.
Jezza, don’t be alerted. I’m alright. Delilah is bringing me some food. I’m awake now, but please don’t tell anyone yet, not even Ziek. Just later bring them to the infirmary, so I can speak with you all. There are some important things I need to discuss… with all of you. Not the whole pack though… just the ones I’ve been around most since being in this pack.
As you wish, Matriarch Asena.
Just Asena please. It’s just you and me right now.
Very well. Its only about seven right now, does ten work for our meeting?
Yes, sounds perfect.
I sigh in relief. Soon enough, Delilah shows up with a tray full of food. Mostly proteins. I smile as she brings it to me. I eat it slowly at first just to be safe. Once I realize I wasn’t going to vomit, I ate like normal. It tastes so good. I clean my tray. And lick my lips clean. Then clean my fingers and face with a napkin.
“Thank you very much, Delilah. You are a saint, or maybe angel is a better word.” I smile sweetly at the small strawberry blonde.
“Oh, it’s no big deal. I’m proud to serve the matriarch. It’s a position I never thought I would be able to do considering I’m a gamma. I mean I know it’s not really an alpha position, its higher… but the privilege is still a great opportunity. Isa is asleep, but… she and Kayden have been spending a lot of time together, just so you know. He hasn’t forgotten about you; he seems to think you won’t make it. He’s very upset with the alpha. They haven’t spoken in three or four days. Kayden has been drinking a lot also. I don’t know if he’s slept with Isabelle or not… I just thought I’d warn you, since you seem to have an attachment to him.” She seems sad.
“Its fine Delilah. He’s most likely seeking comfort, and being with another woman for some reason helps a man… I will talk to him privately later. He and his brothers need to make amends before any of them come see me, and Ziek needs to talk to his best friend. I’m not going to be the cause of this wolf pack falling apart. I will say as much, actually, Delilah, can you pass that message along to them. Tell them they have until ten to make amends otherwise I won’t see any of them just my girls… meaning you, Isa, and Jezza. What of Luka? Has he even attempted to see me? He’s supposed to be my friend.” I state the facts.
Delilah points to a chair off to the side where Luka is resting. “He has been here for the last two days. He told everyone else to go because they needed to rest. They haven’t been sleeping much since you’ve been out. You flat-lined a few times. We almost lost you. Thank the mother, you pulled through.”
“She is exactly who you need to thank. She came to me right before I came around. She helped me heal enough for me and my last pup to survive. She said it was a sign. That it’s about time I choose my true mate. She says I’ve always had the ability. That it was always up to me. There was never someone assigned as mine, but once I choose, then the true bond… the true mate, will start occurring more.” I state, “It’s kind of a lot to take in, huh? At least its only out of two instead of four… but it might actually be down to one. Depending on how my discussions go.” I say.
“Are you sure you can make that decision? It’s not a simple one to make. Both Kayden and Ziek are absolutely gorgeous, and I’m totally jealous you had both of them at the same time. I could smell it the next day. That is so not fair, no one gets that lucky.” She whines.
“Oh, it was spicy, but honestly, it won’t be easy, that’s why I’m going to ask them as well. It’s not just my choice anymore. When we come to meeting with everyone, I want to speak one on one with each of them. Its time. After what I just went through, the healing would have been faster had I had a mate. It is time for a decision to be made.” I determinedly say.
“You are serious. You’ve never been so serious before. Are you sure you’re, okay? Why does it need to be made?” She asks, surprised.
“I just have this feeling… something is going to happen soon, and a lot of wolves will be hurt or end up dying. There is no way to prevent it. Now, it’s just a feeling, but that’s not something I take lightly. I don’t know if it’s because I became a Matriarch or what…” I state more serious. “By allowing the mated bond back it would reduce the amount of casualties. There are only a few that I can MAKE true mates. Once I am officially mated, I won’t be able to anymore. That bond will be unlocked for everyone.”
“Wow, you really are something special. I mean, I saw your winged form. It’s absolutely amazing, but to have these abilities on top of it? You really are the reincarnate.” She exclaims.
“I’m more of a glorified descendant.” I state. “Have you found a special someone yet, Delilah?”
“No, I have been too worried about you. I take my job seriously. I don’t have time for men.” She says blushing.
“Have you thought about maybe asking Luka? You both like books. He’s in the library most of the time. Plus, neither of you gave up on me. It’s obvious. Look at him sound asleep. Just waiting for word about me.” I whisper to her.
“But he’s a half-breed.” Delilah whispers back.
“Would you really let that stop you if by chance you were true mates? Look at him. He is blond and has violet eyes. He’s also a gamma. I’m the matriarch, remember. I can make it so you two can work together even in the library if you wish. I won’t force you obviously it has to be a joint decision, so think about it okay.” I smile sweetly.
“I will. He’s really not much of a talker though.” She says.
“Maybe he just needs to come out of his shell, much like a pretty young gamma I know.” I state.
She blushes even more, “Stop it. I’m not that pretty…”
“I believe the saying is, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.” Luka says startling us.
“Luka, you’re awake. It’s good to see you. It feels like forever since I saw you last. How have you been?” I ask him kindly.
“I heard you were here, I wanted to check on you but I… um… I… was afraid they wouldn’t let me see you. Me not being pure bred and all.” He’s blushing a little. It’s cute.
“Luka you know Delilah, right?” I ask. He nods. “You know she loves to read too. She took a peek in the book you got for me. I wasn’t mad about it though. It was a very interesting book. She is such a sweet girl too. She was the first female friend I made here.”
“I know, Matriarch. Well, not about the book, but that she was your first friend. She told me. She also told me about how you have been so kind to her, and other things I won’t mention, it’s a bit embarrassing for me.” I look at Delilah and raise my brow at her.
“I told him stories thinking he wasn’t actually listening. I’m sorry.” She shrinks behind him.
I chuckle, “It’s okay, Delilah. I understand. He’s not much of a conversationalist at first. It took a few meetings before he talked regularly to me, like an actual friend.”
“Delilah, you are a beautiful gamma. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.” Luka says to her.
“See. Even he thinks so.” I stick my tongue out at her and we all laugh.
“SHES AWAKE ALERT THE ALPHA!” the nurse yells at someone in another room.
I sigh, “So much for waiting until ten. It’s only been an hour.”
“It’s been one and a half actually.” Delilah says.
“Thank you, Delilah, for correcting me.” I say sarcastically and then giggle.
Within a few seconds Leviathan shows up. Once he sees Luka, he low growls, as he is in wolf form. I leap from my bed, shift mid-air, and land in front of him growling back. He steps back and shifts to human form, and I fallow suit, shifting back to human. He comes to me wrapping his arms around me in a hug.
“I thought I was going to lose you. Let’s not ever fight again. I don’t care if we aren’t mates or if we are. I just want you in my life. You have impacted my life in a way that I don’t want to live without you. I love you. I’m just not sure what kind of love it is.” Leviathan says to me.
“Leviathan. You have already made your choice. You belong with…” He kisses me cutting me off “Minne.” I say when he breaks the kiss.
“I guess I really did lose my chance with you. It’s okay. I will inform Minne that your wish her and I well.” He says.
I smile at him. “I’m still your matriarch, Leviathan. I’m not going anywhere. Minne will be a fine Luna. I told you from the start that I didn’t want the Luna position, but would take it if we were mates, but your mate is Minne. If you don’t believe me go find her and kiss her… AND MAKE UP WITH YOUR BROTHERS AND ZIEK!” I say sternly. I shake my head.
“That was… odd.” Delilah and Luka say together, then they laugh.
“Leviathan? Not really. Not when he’s around me, that kind of thing is normal.” I state.
“If you say so.” Luka says.
“Why don’t you two go to the library and read some books together and get to know each other better… if it doesn’t work at least, you can be friends.” I suggest. “I think I’d like to be alone for a little while. I have some thinking to do before I talk to the rest of my friends.”
“If that’s what you want, Asena, we can do that, right Luka?” Delilah asks. He nods and they both walk out. I walk over to my bed and sit down. I sigh. I have a lot to figure out. I like Kayden and I like Ziek, I still kind of like Leviathan, but I’m done with him. He ruined any chance he had with me when he killed three of my pups. He can say he loves me, but I don’t think it’s that way. If anything, maybe as a sibling or a friend, but he needs to just stay with Minne. They are both alphas after all. I never wanted that position… but instead I got matriarch… a higher rank. What am I going to do? I groan. Why do I have to be this special wolf… why do I have to make such decisions… why can’t I have a simple life…
I know it’s not easy right now, but it will get easier.
Things are just complicated right now because you fell for four different wolves.
One left you, another was a jerk then left and wanted you back but not truthfully.
One is not sure how he feels. He has feelings for you, but also another.
One is just saddened by what happened, but still cares deeply for you.
This is the one, that is the choice I would make, but it’s up to you in the end.
I know you care deeply for both Kayden and Ziek, but you can only have one.
The mother reminds me. I ponder over and over as to how I might handle this and end up with nothing. The very thought of having to choose now… I shake my head. I decide to give them a choice. The choice will have to be made by sundown tomorrow. Then I can prepare myself in case they both decide they don’t want to be with me. Maybe it’s neither of them. Maybe there is still someone else. I know it can’t be Jayce. I wouldn’t want to ruin his chances with Jezza. They are perfect for each other. Who’s my perfect match? No one will be able to match my abilities. I’m to limber and quick on my feet. Not to mention my new powers. What about this feeling of something bad happening and wolves losing their lives?
“Hey, nurse.” I yell. And she rounds the corner.
“Yes, my dear matriarch?” the elder woman says so kindly.
“Do you think I can go for a short run? I’ve been in here for so long I think a nice short run would do me some good. Just around the outside of the packhouse a time or two. I won’t be far in case something happens.” I plead.
“I guess if it’s just along the building you should be fine… but don’t be out to long, or the calvary will come. You are our true leader now. Even though you still have Alpha Leviathan run things. You are no longer princess, instead you’ve become queen.” She says.
I giggle. “Technically I’m still a princess. I haven’t actually been sworn in as leader yet. They may all recognize me as such, but I haven’t gone through my coronation yet.
At this the nurse giggles right along with me. “Well then dear, get to full health and order them to throw you a ball.”
Our giggles turn into laughter. “Such a sweet sound that is, mon chèrie. I haven’t heard your sweet voice, or your laughter is such a long time.” Ziek says entering with Kayden in tow.
“Okay Mr. Romeo… I’m sure she doesn’t need that kind of drama right now.” Kayden says, and everyone bursts into laughter, including Ziek.
Once our laughter settles, I sigh in content. “Hello my guys. Where’s everyone else?”
“What do you mean? We heard you were awake, so we came here right away.” Ziek says confused.
“Let me guess… Jezza? Or Delilah?” I ask suspiciously.
They look at each other and then me, “Neither, Leviathan.” Kayden says, and Ziek nods.
My smile fades, “I see. Well, I’d love to stay and chat, but I have plans.” I shift into my wolf form and run out the hospital doors and through the packhouse and exit, running a few laps around the building still unsatisfied I continue for a while more. When satisfaction still doesn’t come, I decide to run towards the arena. Once I get there a flashback of the event strikes my mind and sadness and anxiety overwhelm me. I didn’t want to be there anymore. I needed to get away from there. The sight of Leviathans face slammed into memory, and I just turned and ran not knowing where I was going exactly, but I at least know the edges of the territory now. As I approach the edge of the territory, I stop as to not cross. My body trembles as the fear in Leviathans eyes that day sink further and further into my core. I scared him. An alpha. A very strong alpha, and he was horrified by me. His fear that day penetrated my soul… I can’t believe I… tears stream down my black, fur covered cheeks. I never wanted to scare him into submission. I would have rather won without that. Maybe I can rechallenge him, on the basis of him not knowing I was pregnant. Maybe I can smooth things over then. I know he said he loved me, but I think he only said that to be nice. Once I told him to go find Minne, he didn’t even hesitate. He ran out the door… he is still afraid of me. He won’t allow another challenge with me. I smell Kayden and Ziek coming up from behind. I just wait. They stop a few feet from me.
“You were supposed to stay by the packhouse.” Kayden says sternly, after shifting.
I don’t respond.
“I know you can hear me, and I know you can talk regularly in your wolf form. I heard you that day.” Kayden tries again.
I still don’t respond.
“Why don’t you answer, mon chèrie?” Ziek asks.
I turn and glare at them and run back towards the packhouse with them not far behind. I pick up my pace and they struggle keeping up as the gap between us increases. They both have the smell of Isabelle all over them. They did when they first entered the hospital room too. I go inside the packhouse and up towards my room. I walk in and it smells strongly of sex, Kayden, Ziek, and, of course, Isabelle. I storm back out of my room and down to the hospital room I was in, absolutely furious with them both, but mostly Ziek. He never seemed to be the type to do something like that, and in my room of all places… how shameless. She looks nothing like I do.
I mind-link Isa, Isabelle… I hereby declare you relieved of your duties as my beta. Jezza will take your place.
I then mind-link Jezzabelle, Jezza, you have been promoted to my first beta. I have relieved Isa of her duties as such.
WHAT! Isa is so nice, though. Jezzabelle responds.
She slept with BOTH Kayden and Ziek in my bed, that is disrespectful, dishonorable, and shameless. I don’t care that she slept with them (ideally) but in MY BED! My fury is shown in my words.
Ouch… well then, I accept the honor to serve you as first beta of the Matriarch. Jezzabelle states her reply.
Soon Kayden and Ziek enter trying to catch their breath. Then they finally realized why I am so irritated because they smelled each other’s scent as it is stronger when they exert themselves. They both sigh heavily.
“We can explain.” Kayden starts.
I only turn away and stick my snout in the air, closing my eyes so I don’t see their reflection in the glass. I hear them step closer and I give them a warning growl.
“I suggest you two go shower before you try to talk to her. She is seriously pissed at you two. To the point where she has relieved Isa of her duties and has promoted me as her first beta. I will be watching over her and helping with her duties from now on. So, get moving and go shower boys.” Jezzabelle demands. I smile on the inside. Good choice Asena. I say to myself.
“You what? She was only trying to help us. She was pretending to be you for us because we wanted you.” Kayden said.
At this point my fury went into explosive mode and I turned, jumped off the table and my body shifts into my true form as I’m growling at Kayden. I speak, “Go now… if you wanted me, you should have come to SEE me. Not pretend someone WAS me… and DEFINITELY NOT IN MY ROOM! GO SHOWER I’M DONE WITH YOU BOTH UNTIL YOU DO SO!”
I shift back into my normal wolf and turn away again. All I hear after that is Ziek telling Kayden, that he knew it was a bad idea. Then I shift into human form. “Thanks, Jezza. I think I made a good choice. I would much rather have someone I trust as my beta anyway. You and I’d rather have Jayce, but I don’t think I will get that lucky. Delilah is a good girl, but she needs to not work all the time she needs to have fun too and get to know other wolves, like Luka, for example. They seemed to have hit it off this morning. I just want everyone happy.”
“Why not have Ziek be your second beta?” she asks.
“Because if he is my true mate, he would become my patriarch, and if he wasn’t my mate, I’m not so sure I could handle having him as my beta. I like him too much. The same would go for Kayden, but we both know he’s too attached at Leviathans hip. I don’t know if he’d accept a higher position than his brothers.” I explain.
“I see your point. Why Jayce though, why not have my other brother… never mind… I know why on that too… sorry about that by the way. I was trying to ruin you. I have changed though, honest.” She states.
“I know Jezza… I know.” I say.
“Say, what’s the running at for your mate anyway? How is it going to work?” She asks curiously.
“Well, I basically get to choose who my mate is, but I don’t want to just take one, I want them to choose me as well. Jayce was the first to pull out of the race, so to speak. I told him he should try and date you, actually. I think you and he are a perfect match. You both like sex, a lot, and if you really wanted you could always have a third or even a fourth with you guys.” I shrug. “Just a suggestion.”
“We have been dating. That’s why you hadn’t seen much of either of us after our dual. We were spending time together, getting to know each other, as you suggested. I found him after the battle ended and thanked him, and that’s when we started dating.” She says blushing.
“See, can I call them or what. Just like Leviathan and Minne. They are perfect for each other too. I realize he said he loved me, but I think he was just trying to get me to forgive him, to accept him again. However, I never stopped accepting him. I still haven’t fully forgiven him, but at the same time, it’s my fault for not telling anyone I was pregnant. So, he had a point. Technically he should still be in charge, and I still should be a beta. That fight was unfair.” I say sternly.
“You won, because he yielded before you collapsed.” She says.
I shake my head, “but the point is, I shifted into something no one expected, even me. it scared him. He probably hates me deep down, because fear is a sign of weakness, and it was written all over his face.”
“What world did you grow up in? Fear can be a sign of weakness, but it can also show a way to grow. To become better than what you are. That is our teaching. We overcome our fear by growing into something more than what we are now. He may have been afraid that day, and it probably embarrassed him, but he took it as a way to grow, to become better.” She explains to me.
“I’ve never thought of it that way.” I state. “anyway, back to your question… the only ones left in my choice is Kayden and Ziek. It’s been that way for a while. I never really wanted to be a Luna, so I was always on edge about choosing Leviathan anyway. Kayden and Ziek both pissed me off because what they did, should not have happened in my bed. They could have done it anywhere else, and it would have been fine… or at least I think so. I mean I can’t get mad at them for sleeping with others when I’ve done it right… at least that was in my own bed… I may just have to go and search for someone new altogether. I’m not sure if I want to be with either of them right now.”
“It’s okay to feel a little jealous. It took me a long time to not get jealous over guys sleeping with other girls… you saw me jealous of you for sleeping with Kayden and Leviathan… but its fine now. I got over it, you will too. Just don’t go after Isa like I went after you. She isn’t much for fighting. She’s a sweet girl too.” Jezzabelle states.
“I’m not going to go after someone I have no reason to. She didn’t do me wrong in any way. I went after you because you went for me first… defensive maneuvers and such. I’m not mean, Jezza. I just can’t get away from the look in Leviathans eyes that day. The fear and horror in them. I ran to the arena earlier and I just about had an anxiety attack. Found myself running towards the border and finally stopped. I don’t want that. I don’t want anyone to fear me. I would rather have them love me as I am than fear me for what I look like when I go full out.” I sigh.
“You’ll be fine. I promise but you really need to decide who you want to be with. As far as Jayce and me, if you really think we are perfect, do you have the ability to make us mates?” she asks hopeful.
“Technically, but I would have to kiss Jayce to do it. That’s the only way I know how to pass on the ability to make the next one you kiss your mate.” I explain.
“You can kiss me, can’t you? Won’t it work that way too?” Jezzabelle asks.
My cheeks go red, “What? You want to be the one to make him your mate instead of him making you his?” I ponder, “I guess it could work… but what would Jayce do if he saw us kissing? Wouldn’t he get the wrong idea?”
“He’d probably want to join in actually.” She says bluntly.
I giggle, “Probably, knowing him. Why don’t you call him and if he wants you to be his mate, I will kiss you then so you can pass it on.”
“Done. He will be in soon.” She says, and within seconds he’s running through the door and over to me hugging me tightly.
“I can’t believe I’m hugging a warm body this time. You were so cold the last time I hugged you. You were so close to death they only gave you a half a day at most, and here you are, full of health. How?” Jayce asks releasing me from his embrace.
“Well, Jayce, the mother saved me. She also gave me the ability to heal others… with a cost of course. It was a miracle straight out of a fairy tale. I have a serious question for you Jayce Lockwood.” I never use their last names because it sounds so… weird. “How much do you care for Jezza? Is it enough to become permanent mates?” I raise an eyebrow.
He does the same, “She told you huh? Of course, I care about her enough. I’d gladly be hers.”
I look at Jezzabelle and she gets up and walks over to me. We kiss deepening it for effect then she pulls away and kisses Jayce. I could almost see the bond being formed within each of their eyes. Jayce embraces her like a long-lost love. I’m a little jealous. I want that.
“What the hell just happened?” Jayce asks not taking his eyes from Jezzabelle’s.
“You two are now true mates. I gave the gift to Jezza to make you her true mate. As her request, but I wanted to make sure it was also what you wanted.” I state my claim.
They were so caught up in each other that they didn’t hear Ziek, and Kayden enter the room. They look at me and then at the two love birds and back to me. I shrug smiling at Jayce and Jezzabelle. They are a beautiful couple, but the more I look at them the more my inner wolf whines for such a connection, and I as well, for my wolf and I are one.
“What exactly happened.” Ziek asks.
“They discovered they are true mates.” I simply state.
“How, that ability has been taken away from us. We haven’t been able to find our true mates for a very long time. I know you have been searching, but I don’t think it will happen.” Kayden is blunt.
I sharply turn my emerald eyes on him and glare, “I choose who my true mate is. I am a descendent/reincarnate of the mother herself. It is my responsibility to restore that gift. The only way it will happen is for me to choose which one of you two I want as my true mate or if I leave and find someone else altogether.” I state almost growling.
“Easy, mon chèrie, some of us struggle with believing that story… but you told me that a while ago… I didn’t believe it at first, but since you were practically dead like six hours ago, and now you are almost full health, I find it harder NOT to believe.” Ziek states.
“You told him, but didn’t tell me?” Kayden seems hurt by it.
“When have I had the time, Kayden? Not only that, but I knew if I told you, you’d go straight to Leviathan with it, and the less that knew the better at the time. Now after seeing my true wolf form, you still don’t believe, Kayden?” I ask snippy.
“I didn’t say that sweetheart. I simply was saying it’s almost impossible to find a true mate.” Kayden says.
“Is that what you call Isa? Because you’ve never Once called me anything but my name. If you did, I didn’t catch it. Just like Ziek has always used ‘mon chèrie’ when speaking to me. Leviathan always used my name as well. I knew something was up with him when he used my title. He NEVER uses ANYONES title, and now here you are, calling me Sweetheart, and expect me to believe you only slept with Isa while I was in a coma? Not likely.” I rant on.
“Calm down, mon chèrie, I only did it once, and I hated every minute of it. I wasn’t ready to give up on you. The doctor only said you had like a half a day. I was in a rut, so Kayden, thought sleeping with someone in your room would help us to mend. It didn’t work… then we got word you were alive and doing amazing, and well… we didn’t have time to clean up. Sorry.” Ziek seems honest in his apology.
“I’m not saying you did it more Ziek. I’m saying Kayden did. I saw him stare at her a few times before and her smiling flirtatiously at him. The signs were all there. I can’t really be mad at him because I wasn’t any better… not exactly. I just don’t like being lied to, and that’s what he’s been doing. Every time he sees me and we’re alone he says he cares and pretends to show it. I started suspecting it after the first time I saw him look at her, but he still kept saying he wanted me. If Kayden truly wanted me, he wouldn’t have even considered another girl. I didn’t know who I wanted, and now the time has come for me to make my choice, but first, let me ask you both a question. If you are not honest, I will know.” I say irritated.
“Jayce, Jezza, could you please get a room for crying out loud… this isn’t a strip club.” Ziek says to them.
“Oops sorry guys.” Jayce says and they take off out the door holding hands.
“I need to know who you really want to be with. Kayden, I will start with you. Do you want to be with me, or do you want to be with Isa? Make your decision NOW, before your matriarch.” I say in my leader tone.
“Can’t I just have you both? I don’t want to let go of either of you.” Kayden says.
“No. I am only allowed one mate and if she were involved, she would also be classified as my mate as well. NO THANK YOU! She has been relieved of her duties as my beta and has been replaced with Jezza. It sounds like you’ve made your choice.” I kiss him one last time and step back. “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want take the gift I have given and go find Isa, your true mate. I will still be your Matriarch, but as far as anything else, it’s over. I’m sorry I have to hurt you this one last time.”
He looks at me with saddened yet understanding eyes, “As you wish, Matriarch Asena.” He bows and walks away.
“Ziek, now I ask you. What…” he kisses me deeply our tongues fighting for dominance. His arms circle around me.
“It’s always been you. I never wanted anyone else. The moment I saw you, I wanted to be with you. I didn’t care who I had to fight. I love you, mon chèrie. Will you be my forever?” he asks.
I smile and nip his neck drawing a little blood he does the same to me. We lick up a little of each other’s and then kiss deeply sealing the mate bond. We are now and forever, mates, there is only one more step to do to finalize it. He strokes my hair pulling a little. I groan with anticipation. He strips his clothing off and climbing on the hospital bed, then lays on his back.
“Alright, mon amour, you take control, you are, leader of the pack.” He says full erect.
“You sure you want that?” I ask.
“Shh, just do it, before I change my mind. You just came back to us after all. I don’t know what you can handle.” He says caringly.
I smile and climb on top of him straddling him easing myself onto his shaft and slowly move up and down at first until I get the feel for my pain tolerance at this point. Then I increase my speed and bend down kissing him, hands on his chest running my fingers along his scars. He grabs my left hand and shifts it down to my vaginal region and guides my fingers to play with myself while I move up and down and grind on him. Soon after that I have my release fallowed by another, before he too has his, emptying inside me. He slowly and carefully rolls me on my back while still inside me and starts thrusting again. He continues to thrust, becoming hard once again and thrusting some more. He’s gentle with me but also moves at a steady pace for both of us, as to not cause me any problems with the pup. Once he cums inside me a second time he rolls beside me.
“I hope you know that I will take care of that pup inside you no matter who the actual dad is, right?” he asks.
“It’s yours. I knew earlier that your pup was the only one that survived. I know it doesn’t usually work that way, but this pup, is yours.” I say and we fall asleep holding each other close.
The End
