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connor94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcLcrJNNpP
wednesday, august 16th, 15:00pm94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVAscKdRnp
gabe's garage
94Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFW9WJ8f38t
we're sat on the couch, watching friends, and i think this has to be the first time gabe's been sober since june. he might be an alcoholic, i'm a little worried about him.
"what's up with this show? monica's obviously hotter, why are they all jerking off 'cause of rachel?" ricky's such a bitch when it comes to women, i can barely stand being around him.
"i see it. she's, like, i don't know. fashionable." gabe weighs in, even though he never has much to say.
"wow, everything's so much clearer now. thank you, wise one." elijah rolls his eyes, and cracks open a can of beer. no, don't encourage him, he'll egg someone's house again.
"i think rachel's hotter. she's a shitty friend, though." spencer's always been into rachel, especially when the show was still on tv.
"not as bad as ross, he fucking sucks. i hate ross." i think the whole group's been hearing about my hatred of ross for quite a while.
"dude, pick a new one, everyone hates ross. here's a better take, i hate phoebe. she was so boring." ricky's always trying to one-up everyone, and it makes being around him like hell.
"you hate her? i love phoebe." the only thing that makes it better is deliberately being a bother to him, which i love doing.
"you're all wrong, joey's the worst." of course gabe hates joey. he has to hate the one thing everyone else loves, just to be an asshole.
"shut the fuck up, joey's easily the best." a voice from behind us lets everyone know that leah's here. we've hung out every day for the past couple weeks, so she just lets herself in now.
"hey, hey, who the fuck is that?" he still has a horrific hangover, and he was wasted every time she was here, so gabe naturally has no idea who she is.
"it's leah. by the way, there's a dead bird in your driveway." she takes something, and sits in the one free chair. a bean bag.
"what? when did that get there?" elijah got here half an hour ago, so he probably would've seen it.
"when i moved it there." she cracks open her beer, and sits back, spreading her legs like a guy. she still looks amazing, like always.
"why the fuck would you put a dead bird in my drive! i don't even know you!" gabe's confusion is pretty funny to me, because he's had hardcore issues with her ever since she moved here.
"...we met, like, two weeks ago. we hang out every day. i beat you up all the time." she raises an eyebrow, then takes a long sip, looking at him like he's gone crazy.
"no way you could beat me up." he's looking at her the exact same way. to be honest, if i didn't already like her, i'd try and get them together.
i should've mentioned my weird little crush on her. it's nothing, really, i just think she's pretty, and she's a good singer.
"you wanna see?" she stands up, giving us a full view of her dress. it's navy blue, short, strapless, and it has a little hollister logo at the bottom.
she's already in a fighting stance, completely prepared to kill him.
"come on, i can't hit a girl. i only hit girls if they want me to." he's still standing up, though. i don't know what he expects her to do, back down from a fight? tough luck.
"i want you to. go ahead, hard as you can." she steps towards him, and it makes me wonder why we never stop this.
"i meant during sex!" that's why, 'cause gabe always says the weirdest shit and it makes us laugh.
"yeah, like you've had sex, freaky little pervert." she beckons him towards her, and then there's the second reason why we never stop these fights. leah looks really hot when she's beating him up.
"wait, hold on, let's talk this out. anna, was it?" he's such a dick, even though i should be rooting for him, i want her to win.
"not even close." she crosses her arms, eyeing him like he's worth nothing. i want her to look at me like that.
what? shut up.
"...l.a." the drinking has probably killed off half of his brain cells. sure, the rest of us get drunk, but never as drunk as he does.
"los angeles?" she raises her eyebrows, smiling at him with the least impressed look on her face i've ever seen.
"shut up. i know your name. lucy. no. lori. no. lana? no, i know lana." he has to be braindead.
"dude. leah." i kick him in the leg, not hard enough to knock him over, but hard enough to get his attention.
"lena! yeah, i remember lena. you, uh..." he still gets her name wrong, even when i tell him the answer. what an idiot.
"leah. my name's leah, asshole." she then socks him in both the mouth and nose, in quick succession. with a kick to the stomach, she knocks him to the ground, and dives on top of him.
"what the fu-" he shouts, but she shuts him up when she grabs a fistful of his shirt and slams her fist into his nose. they both have bruises all over, now that i'm looking.
he grabs her wrists, and pins them to her sides. she tries to wiggle out of it, but soon gives up when she realizes sober gabe is a little stronger than drunk gabe.
"i'm gonna, fuckin' kill you," she starts to violently thrash around, like she's trying to get out of a straight jacket.
"chill out, uh... whatever your name is." he's going to get himself murdered in a minute. i have no idea why they keep fighting like this, but it's literally a daily occurrence.
"it's leah!" she breaks free, and punches him across the face in the process. she then grabs his hair and bashes his head on the concrete, so he launches up off the ground, and pins her to the floor.
"oh, wow, fuck. you're insane, but you're- what is wrong with you? why do you look like that?" he asks, and i'm losing interest in this ordeal.
everyone else zoned out a while ago.
i start watching friends again, because i'm bored of watching them fight. we've sort of just learned to stop trying to get them away from each other, and just let them tire themselves out.
over the yelling, and hitting, i start talking.
"if friends was real, who would you be friends with?" i ask, as elijah leans over the pair to pick up his drink.
"probably phoebe, joey and chandler. you?" he takes a sip of his beer, as that goddamn laugh track plays. i can't stand it.
"the same. maybe monica, too. she's hot." i don't know, monica just seems like she'd be a good friend. always cooking, hosting and all that.
"i miss friends, man, everyone loved friends." ricky laments the ending of it, even though he always says he hates it.
"you guys know who i miss? i miss lana." spencer does this thing where he pretends lana isn't in love with him, and he doesn't feel the exact same way. they'd be so good together.
"of course you miss lana, dude." elijah's about to start this shit up again, and i don't know if i can take it.
"yeah, we all do. anyway, should we stop them when there's blood, or let them keep going?" i change the subject back to the pro wrestlers on the floor, because they're both bleeding everywhere.
"aw, jesus, man!" elijah jerks his foot up, because leah's lip's bleeding on his shoe. if that was me, personally, i wouldn't wash the shoe. that's a weird thing to think.
"my fucking nose!" i think gabe's nose is broken, judging from the sheer amount of blood pouring out of it.
"hah! haha! i broke your nose, bitch! you remember my name now?" leah's holding him by the ear, and their faces are weirdly close together.
"hey, hey, i remembered your name. i was just giving you a chance to stop being an asshole." as if he remembered her, he's just saying that so he'll get spared. maybe in a parallel universe.
"bullshit." she spits, her bottom lip completely busted. they're literally the most abusive people i've ever met, but somehow only to each other.
"you guys definitely shouldn't get married." spencer says, feeding himself pretzel after pretzel from the bowl on the table.
"like they were planning on it, you kidding?" ricky kicks his feet up, waiting for them to finally be done.
"they'd kill each other at the altar." elijah's still watching the tv, he hasn't even looked down. wow, we've gotten used to this strangely fast.
"you may now shove the bride down a flight of stairs." spencer makes me laugh, and that attracts the groom's attention. somehow they haven't heard us.
"shut up, spence. you're just glad we stopped talking about you and rosa." he sits up, still on top of leah.
"who's rosa?" she asks from the ground, perched on her elbows.
"our friend. spencer's in love with her, but she's been in baltimore all summer break." why is he answering her so casually?
"aw, cute! y'know, marriages of people who were friends first last way longer." she grins, looking up at him with those beautiful, dark brown eyes. they're almost black.
"i heard abusive marriages last longer, 'cause they're scared to leave. that's gonna be you guys." ricky's good at being an antagonist to every situation he's in.
"shut up, ricky, unless you wanna feel the melody of my foot in your ass." she's still so pretty when she's being a total bitch.
"hey! that method works, asshole." he kicks her leg, so she just flips him off.
"he gets away with that? i forgot your name and you broke my nose." gabe says this, but he hasn't got off her yet. he should probably think about doing that soon, before he gets ripped on for an hour straight.
"yeah, well, you guessed los angeles. no choice." she shrugs, and, hold on, did she just look at his dick?
"yo, leah, his eyes are there." i point to his head, and i probably have the shittiest grin on my face right now.
"fuck off. he doesn't deserve eye contact." she sneers at me, not even looking at him anymore.
"but you can look at my dick?" can he stop talking? leah was looking at me, and this guy just completely ruined it.
"i wasn't looking at your dick. i wouldn't be able to find it if i wanted to." she glances down, and pretends to search for something, shading her eyes with a hand, squinting.
"okay." he laughs, like a smug little asshole.
"...okay what?" i have no idea what that meant, so i have to ask.
"i mean, you can ask ricky's sister-" he does that stupid smirk he does, and it makes me so mad.
"shut up, dude! she said she was drunk!" ricky's really insecure about his friend having sex with his sister, but honestly, i think it was inevitable.
"yeah, so was i. that's what you do at parties. you get drunk, and you fuck ricky's sister." he's such an asshole.
"leah, beat him up again." elijah nudges her with his blood-covered shoe, which she scrunches her face up at.
"i don't take orders from men. but i'll do it anyway." she pounces on him, tackling him to the ground with a dull thud. "this is my choice." she glares, before punching him in the face.
she's about to do it again, but gabe stops her, by grabbing her wrist.
"hey, c'mon, leah. see, i remember your name. how could i forget a girl like you? come on, let's- let's talk about it." he looks terrified of her.
"you mean it?" she drops everything, to smile, and let her eyes light up like gemstones.
"...sure, why no-" the second he starts talking, she wrenches her fist out of his grip and slams him in the cheek. "god, fuck! you're such a bitch!"
"aww, i'd never forget you either, baby." she then gets off him, and returns to her seat on the bean bag, with her beer.
he crawls back on to the couch, and that's when we can see both of their faces. jesus christ, they really did a number on each other. gabe has a broken nose, a fading black eye and a bruise on his cheek. leah has a busted lip, a forehead bruise and a bruising cut on her jaw.
"y'know, maybe you guys should stop fighting before school. clear your faces up a little." spencer's innocent suggestion prompts abuse from, not gabe, not leah, but obviously ricky.
"shut up, spencer, don't be a pussy. fight! get drunk and fight!" what the fuck is wrong with him? one minute he's crying about his sister, the next he's being an agent of chaos.
"dude, don't encourage him. let his liver breathe for a second, he's been drunk since summer break started." i try to save our friend from having a liver that looks like a raisin, but ricky won't have it.
"so what? that's what summer's for, don't be a booze-blocker, jew." i'm so sick of him saying that, it really pisses me off.
"can you stop with that shit? calling me a jew? it's weird, and i'm not even jewish." well, i am, but my parents denounced us when we left brooklyn.
"you used to be. that never leaves you, man." he says it like it's a disease. sometimes he makes me feel a little sick.
"fuck you, ricky, your dick looks like a shrimp." fine, yeah, i resort to that as an insult. what about it?
"hey, just 'cause you got circumfrenced when you were a baby doesn't mean you can be an asshole about it." elijah defends him, for some unknown reason.
"...are you talking about getting circumcised?" spencer looks like he's about to scream out with laughter.
"come on, i mean, y-" he's interrupted by everyone in the room, even ricky, laughing at his humiliation.
isn't cruelty what friends are for?
"jesus, eli, circumfrenced?" ricky looks absolutely amazed, like it's a feat of pure skill that he forgot such a simple thing.
"i know what i meant! i was trying to back you up, 'cause he had his dick cut off!" elijah's so embarrassed, he's basically shrinking into the back of the couch.
"you know," leah takes a sip of her beer. "circumcised dicks look bigger." and, naturally, this is the part where i start blushing.
"hah! suck it, ricky." gabe points at him, which fully distracts everyone.
"hold on, why did you get circumcised? are you a secret jew?" god, sometimes i think the group would really benefit from me sewing ricky's mouth shut.
"no. my dad asked the doctor to do it." he says this like he's proud, but none of us really know why.
"hot." how the fuck does she say that kinda stuff so casually? to the guy she just beat up?
"fuck you." he's acting like a pussy, and i don't think he realizes that this is every conversation he has with every girl, just flipped around.
"when?" she blows a kiss at him, so he rolls his eyes and pretends to gag. that only makes her laugh at him.
it's such a mean, jeering laugh, but it's still so pretty.
there's also something very wrong with her, but i still have a crush on her.
ns 15.158.61.37da2
