Mia
All that your ancestors had to go through for you to be here... and you doubt yourself? How dare you. You come from a legacy of survival that is to never be questioned.
Lavender, sandalwood, and rosemary. Three scents that swim in my head. I repeat their names in a chant.
Lavender.
Sandalwood.
Rosemary.
Three scents from three candles that are set in a triangular shape around me. Madam Abb, a friend of Father's, tells me to focus on these words and their corresponding scents to use as an anchor to pull me back.
Or otherwise, I'll keep being pulled this way and that by whichever Orishas or stupid little demigod decides to tap into my head.
I take a deep breath to ground myself and repeat the chant three more times.
Lavender, sandalwood, rosemary.
'Don't be afraid of what's coming.' Madae Abb's lessons start to echo in my head. As the only teacher I can rely on until Father comes back from whatever he's doing, she's been conducting lessons with me twice a week for nearly a month now. Because of it, I'm stronger. And no longer afraid of what's to come.
Within three deep breaths, I feel myself being tugged, like a rope was tied to my mind and being pulled upwards. However, instead of allowing my body to be dragged with it, I mentally take hold.
The beat of the earth thrums in my head as I fight the power from the other-side, not because I want to avoid it, but because when I speak to them that conversation will have to be on equal ground.
Or as close to equivalent as I can get when it comes to the Orishas.
Regardless, if I can't do that much, then what am I a shaman for, according to Madam Abb of course.
The rope tugs again, harder this time, and it was at that moment I allowed myself to be pulled through the void and out the other side. On the way there, I remember to seal my mind, stacking a series of mental bricks, against outside invaders that might try to come through. Like Darkness for instance.
It seems that in all those times he's been in my head, it was by invading the part of the connection where I'm at my most valuable. The part of the connection that I like to think of as the pull. That small and quite frankly, rapid moment where the Orishas pull and my mind ascends to meet them.
I have to give him credit though. After Abb taught me all the things about speaking with them and the mechanics behind almost every single aspect of my abilities, it felt impressive to me that he could manage to weasel his way through an Orishas link within the faction of a second.
But it is the only thing I'll give him.
Mentally, I begin the slow but sure climb of shifting myself through the small void found within the rope the Orisha holds. As quickly as the void came to meet me, it leaves me in a field of infinite flowers of no particular shape or color.
Mkhaya Thendele.
Colors flow like the wind throughout the sky, granting it a presence similar to the Aurora Borealis. The temperature feels neither warm nor cold but somewhere in-between.
I rise to look over the vast sea of plants towards dark shadows that appear all around me.
Shadows come in all forms. Male. Female. Some appear young, like children. While others seem older with stick like objects in their hands.
My eyes linger over the presence of my ancestors. Holding the gazes of the children longer than others.
There shouldn't be so many of them here. Especially the children. The people that killed them, just for who they are, are the worst kind of monster there is.
There is nothing those bastards could say that will change anything. How I wish they would suffer!
But I know otherwise, from the sulken aura on the presence of many of my ancestors, I can tell. The people that killed them, are still alive. I don't know how. But they are. Something within me can feel it.
Like a huge grotesque centipede crawling up my back, each step it makes with its thin hair like leg forms a wound on my skin that can't close. It makes its ascent in an unrelenting determination as the nightmare I can't fight off rises ever so slowly.
The feeling reminds me of Darkness, of the way he's been invading my head and threatening my life. However, I won't let him win.
If need be, when it comes down to me or him, I won't hesitate to kill him. I won't let him kill me like the monsters that killed the ancestors before me.
I can feel they're unsettled. And some, angry.
'Is that what you want?' I spin on my heel at the shaky timbre of an old woman and I meet the misshapen shadow of one of my ancestors.
'Do you think that's what they want?' She gestures towards the others, yet her arm is nothing more than a phantom that appears and then disappears back into the overall shadow.
The rules spin through my head like a forming spider web, 'Don't ask questions, don't anger them, don't demand anything, show respect.'
I bow my head to the shadow. "I feel their unsettlement." I tell her gently.
'And you think death is the answer?' The shadow laughs. Behind her, a choir of laughter rings out, some more joyful and louder than others. It's like the happier ones are trying to drown out the ones' that believe that statement it true.
I ponder my thoughts for the right answer, but it's obvious. Why would I tell the dead that death is the answer. It's plain stupid. It's no wonder they're laughing.
"No." I say plainly, lowering my head further.
'Rise. Meet me, young one.' The woman demands.
My head rises quickly, but my eyes slowly go up to her. As they do, her body begins to take a more physical form. My eyes meet her robes first.
Layers of gold and white hang down from her shoulders. Her hands hold rings of silver and one made of gold that rests on her right pinky finger. As I meet her face, her silverish hair frames the wrinkles that line her black eyes and forehead.
"Thank you for summoning me." I greet her. It's not a question but it can still give me an answer based on how they respond. If Madam Abb knew I've been secretly doing this, she'll definitely hit me over the head.
'Tell me, shaman. I have lived through generations. I've seen the height and strength of the Laibon. As well as their destruction. In my prime, I was even considered the strongest. And yet, I still fell to the presence of mere mortality. You want to be strong for what?' Her voice echoed like a melody that made my heart ache for more reasons than I wish to admit.
'I want to defeat him.' I respond.
'You will have many enemies. Many who will stand against you and some who won't realize it. Will you defeat them all? Will you fight every single person who stands against you? Is that what your strength is for?'
I bite my lip in the face of her scolding. "No."
'I asked three questions.'
Shit.
"I cannot defeat all my enemies. It would be irrational to fight everyone that stands against me. My strength--" I pause.
My strength, these weeks of working to become stronger were all to face Darkness in the end. If I am to survive him then I need to be.
"If I am to survive him, then I need to be strong. It is what Ṣangó told me."
'Is it?'
"Yes."
'Is that what he said to you?'
"...yes." My eyes drop to the flowers.
The ground beneath me rumbles. The sky breaks with the sound of lightning. Ṣangó is listening. 'Is it? Because it is grave for a shaman to put false words in his mouth. Do you think the Orishas' are stupid!'
"I--" Fuck. Me. "Forgive me." I repent quietly but bold enough for Ṣangó to hear me. The last thing I need is to piss off the Orishas I serve.
'Where was death in his words?'
"Sango... mentioned an inevitable fight." I corrected myself.
'But where was death?'
I take a moment to replay Ṣangó's words. Like I've been doing for months. "Death...was not there."
She regards me with a careful look in her eyes. 'You are going down a path you will not be able to come back from. Be. Wiser.'
I tread my next words carefully, making sure not to sound it like a question. "I don't want to die." I cry out in agony.
'Young one. You've only taken one step but you haven't chosen a path. Yes, a fight will come. Yes, Darkness will come for you. But this path,' she gestures at me. 'the path of anger, of fear. Do you think choosing this would ensure your survival?'
I try to understand what she means but I fall flat, however, I know best not to let my ignorance show. 'No. It will not.'
'What is your strength for, then?'
ns 15.158.61.8da2
