"I did not know humans had informative videos about birthing" I mused while in the kitchen the next morning, peeling from Mrs Chen's body as a head.
"How was that informative to you, Venom?" Mrs Chen asked as she cracked eggs into a pan that sizzled away "it's supposed to be a horror."
"It was horrible" I agreed, extending tendrils to hand her the salt and pepper "they didn't get to bond. The human thoughtlessly killed its kind and superior being."
"Superior?" Mrs Chen raised a brow at me, smirking "pass the flipper please."
Pulling out the drawer and handing it to her, she seemed smug at me obeying the simple order.
"Why didn't the human just let the baby hatch from its chest?" I asked now "it made it seem like it was such a terrible thing to carry."
Mrs Chen sighed, wedging the flipper under the egg so she could splat it down on the runny side and press it.
"Most people don't like the thought of having their insides ripped out by an alien."
"Eddie would handle it much better" I nodded.
"Eddie has no idea what is going to happen" Mrs Chen muttered back, pausing "are you sure this isn't going to kill him?"
"Positive" I smiled at the thought of him carefully catching a small bundle that pulled from his own chest "we split painlessly."
"And you just drop little bits of yourself to make more?" she turned from the pan now to face me with the flipper.
I nodded to her.
"If only childbirth was that simple" she sighed.
"It isn't?"
She laughed and shook her head. My confusion was amusing to her.
"Women carry these babies inside them for months and go through hours and hours of labour!" she swirled the flipper in the air before checking on the eggs "and it's horrible pain, and blood, and all sorts of fluids everywhere. It's a horribly beautiful process to bring a human into the world."
Watching her poke the egg, I saw her face focus solely on the food.
"It sounds like you've been through the process before, Mrs Chen."
She gave a little smile, shrugging.
"Not for me" she waved it aside "I like to keep my insides in."
She gave a little chuckle, scooping up the egg to put on the plate I offered her.
She seemed sad at the topic. I could feel it stewing inside her the same way Eddie had milled over the same sadness when we had been with the family.
It was loneliness. The subject upset her deeply.
"Bacon?" she perked up, trying to move past the topic "I can make a smiley face for you."
"I love faces" I grinned and grabbed the bacon out of the fridge for her "they are attached to heads."
"You have an odd fascination with heads, Venom" Mrs Chen frowned up at me placing down several pieces of bacon into the pan for her, cracking more eggs as well.
"They are delicious" I beamed at the mess below us.
Fear set in. Mrs Chen gripped the flipper a little tighter. Her heart began to flip uncomfortably.
"I wouldn't hurt you, Mrs Chen" I soothed her the best I could "we are good friends. Other than Eddie, you are my favourite. We have an agreement going."
"I give you chocolate and you keep the thugs from my store" she confirmed.
I nodded again, growling happily.
"Have you been.... eating..... those people?"
"Only the bad ones."
She poked at the bacon. She was nervous around me. Rather than being grateful the bad people were gone, she was worried.
Why? We did a good thing.
"Only the heads, Mrs Chen" I quickly told her.
"I'm not sure if that makes it better" she mumbled back, pausing "does that mean Eddie eats them too?"
I remembered how disgusted Eddie used to be with the fact. Putting it to him as it being 'fuel in the tank' only made things worse. He spiralled into rejection of me for so long. It was only recently he was letting me eat willingly and clean up any mess left behind on his face.
He was more lenient than he used to be. I was grateful for that.
"I do the work and help dispose the rest" I told her proudly "Eddie is very good to us."
I wasn't going to go further into the facts of how I kept us free from the other filth that ran through a human body. I didn't want Mrs Chen to reject me either out of fear that I might make her eat heads too.
It would be nice, but I was no monster. I could live with the pitiful amounts of chocolate she fed me until I reunited with Eddie. When we were together, we could fill our stomach properly.
Until then, I would starve for her. I'd eat happy faces on plates and add to the pile of chocolate wrappers we accumulated last night.
"You are good to us too" I added.
There was a little smile. Mrs Chen and I worked together to flip and press the eggs and bacon to cook further.
"The faces need chocolate."
"Chocolate?" her voice held visible disgust "it's eggs and bacon!"
"With chocolate faces!" I grinned back as I searched the cupboard for some.
"Venom, so help me, if you mess up this breakfast...."
I found a tin and pulled it out triumphantly.
"Voila!"
"No!" she shielded the pan and tried to scoop the food out when I lifted it from her grasp and put it onto their designated plates "you bring that back down here! That's supposed to be for hot chocolate!"
"It'll be fine, Mrs Chen" I grinned and tipped the tin upside down, smacking the base of it "it'll just be a little bit. I won't even get burnt."
"Venom!" she tugged on my neck to try and reel me down. I juggled the two plates of food and frying pan around her scowling face.
Fighting against her, the struggle made the lid of the tin pop off. Chocolate dust spilled into a plume of delicious smoke around the pile that dumped onto the plate.
Finally, a feast!
"Happy faces!" I placed her plate onto the table and dropped mine beside hers "delicious!"
Tipping mine into my drooling mouth, the powder instantly choked me. It was so dry that it coated my throat and burned when I tried to force it down.
"This really is....hot..... chocolate" I gasped.
Each word billowed out in brown smoke. With each cough, more spilled into the air.
Mrs Chen snorted and raised her hand to laugh behind it. Using the other, she tried to clear the air around her so she didn't inhale the dust herself.
"I can't eat this!" I grumbled when I managed to swallow down a wad of the sweet dirt and chew around the dry middle "it's not even chocolate!"
Picking up the tin, I scrutinized the front of it.
There was a brown rabbit bounding for joy within a swirl of white. Underneath, it defiantly said this stuff was supposed to be chocolate.
My eyes focused on the rabbit again, narrowing on the brown fur.
"This is ground-up rabbits!" I showed her the tin, poking the creature's face before tipping it upside down to let the rest spill onto the floor "don't worry Mrs Chen, I'll make sure you don't eat the dusty bones of the beast!"
"Venom!" she held out a hand when the plume rose once more, sinking into disappointment at the mess now at her feet.
"Happy face?" I offered her barely touched plate to her.
Her scowl turned to me as she took it roughly.
"I saved you" I smiled to her "while I am here, we will not eat the body, or head, of another creature. You don't like that."
I lowered her back into her seat and placed the plate before her. Her head turned to the mess again.
"House cleaning is going to be livid" she almost whispered.
"This is not a house" I reminded her "it is merely a stretched out room."
Her sharp eyes returned to me instantly. I retreated back inside her where it was safe.
She looked just like the alien when it locked onto its prey.
"Venom?" she huffed between her teeth.
I didn't answer the call. Every part of her was boiling in anger.
"You are going to clean this mess up" she picked up her knife to slice through one of the eggy eyes roughly "and I had better not find a cleaning fee on my account."
She chewed on the egg, sawing through the bacon mouth.
"Are you hearing me in there, Big Guy?"
"Yes, Mrs Chen" I sulked back.
"You can't just make a mess and expect things to be fine" she sighed as she watched a tendril peek out to push her egg and bacon back into a smile for her "you need to fix the things you break."
"I wasn't the one who broke the rabbit" I pointed out as I carefully peeled from her to lean over the mess on the floor.
"No, but you dumped it all over the floor" she pointed with her knife, returning to her food "you made the mess, you clean it up."
Eddie usually cleaned the messes I made. Usually it was when I was being helpful and he didn't enjoy my enthusiasm for a hearty meal.
I think there was still a stain on the roof from last time I had made him breakfast with tomato sauce...
"Venom."
"Hmm?"
"There's a dustpan in the cupboard" Mrs Chen pointed "and you can wipe the floor with a cloth afterwards."
She pointed under the sink. I blinked back at her.
I had never been stooped this low. If it were anyone else, I might have fought back. Mrs Chen didn't deserve me intimidating her after all she had down for me so far.
I could clean one mess. She would be so proud!
"I'm going to try and find a way to get you back to San Francisco" she rose from her half finished plate "I need you to stay here and sort this out while I do."
"I should go with you" I insisted.
What if the round man harassed her? Or if a Xenophage had somehow survived and was waiting to feed poor Mrs Chen through its shredding mouth?
I wouldn't be there to protect her. I needed her.
"I won't be long" she smiled softly at my worry "come on, out you go."
Huffing and growling, I pushed myself from her body to hunch before her.
"Like a little child" she gave a little giggle and rested her hand on my side "don't get into trouble."
"We wouldn't be compatible" I turned to watch her as she placed her plate on the side of the sink and walked to the front door to grab the hanging card beside it.
"I'll get you back to Eddie in no time" she smiled to me.
I returned it, feeling the weight inside me lifting a little at the vow.
Mrs Chen really was lovely.
She gave a wave and left me standing amongst the mess, wondering where to start first.
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Smearing the floor with the cloth, I wondered how she thought this would work.
It was only making the dust spread into a wide arc from where I had been wiping it.
The dustpan was beside me with clogged bristles. Currently, I was trying to scoop the dust in with my hand that just glued more to my skin.
I was getting nowhere. I was only making things worse.
Looking around at the covered floor, I could see it definitely was worse than before.
Shit.
How could I be making it worse?!
There was no solution. The brush was useless and my hands were just making more smears. The cloth only swatted and spread it further.
There was one thing I could do while I still had time...
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"Venom! Good news! I figured out how to get you back to Eddie!"
Groaning from the bed, I couldn't move to greet Mrs Chen when she slipped off her shoes and walked in to see me.
"What are you doing?"
"Recovering from cleaning" I grumbled, weak and groggy.
I had done a very good job too. The floor was finally spotless.
Mrs Chen checked the area, impressed at the glistening surface.
"You did really well, Big Guy!" she came over to shake my shoulder slightly "what did you use to fix it? Just the pan and cloth?"
I groaned again, promptly slipping into her body so I could recover better.
"I will never touch the tinned rabbits again."
Her eyes peered back at the kitchen. Slowly leaving the bedroom, her feet hesitantly stepped onto the shining surface.
It glued to her toes and squelched when she lifted her foot up. Taking another step, it smeared and squashed there too.
"Venom..."
"I made it better" I groaned back "It was hard. I am no stretched-out room cleaner."
"What did you use?"
She backed up, hesitant about pressing her feet anywhere near the soft carpet running through the bedroom.
Letting my blackened tongue hang from her mouth, she cried out and groaned in disgust as it returned.
"Venom! Please tell me you didn't...."
"I did."
She groaned again, clearly repulsed by my actions.
"Eddie's house must be filthy."
Was it filthy? It wasn't exactly anything like this modern landscape of shiny things. It was mainly notched bricks and peeling old wood.
It was very homely. It made me smile when I thought of the tiny area.
One table. One chair. One bed. There wasn't much else to it.
"It is a stretched-in room" I commented "like your store. Lots of people are packed into the rooms inside one big building. Like a hive..."
"I really shouldn't have shown you that movie" Mrs Chen squelched through the thick saliva so she could fish for the cloth that was stained and thrown into the sink.
She turned to the floor, sighing deeply.
"I need a mop" she held her head and shook it "and buckets."
"We have cups" I pulled open the cupboards above her to show them.
Stretching from her, I searched the other rooms while she remained in the kitchen.
"There are towels!" I called from the cupboard in the bathroom.
They were soft and yellow. They looked like skins of the chicks that hung around the mother hens in the chicken farms I used to raid when I was hungry.
Holding one out, I marvelled the handiwork of the humans.
They really could make anything out of things as tiny as that.
"They'll do" Mrs Chen sighed "bring them all! And grab two shirts!"
What for?
I returned with what she asked. The two shirts were laid out on top from where they had been hanging in her bedroom cupboard.
"Now, when you are cleaning, the first thing you have to do is make sure your hair is out of the way. Usually you have special cloth for this, but a shirt will do for now."
Mrs Chen picked up a red and pink flowery top. She bunched her hair back and pulled the shirt across her head to gather it all together in the make-shift head-scarf.
"Your turn" she peeled off a blue and white one to face me.
"I have no hair" I told her, but bent down for her anyway.
"Yes, but it's a good habit to get into" she spoke as she moved around to tie the fabric at the back "Eddie has hair. When he cleans, he can wear one too. He's going to need it."
Knotting it firmly, I waited for the next step.
"We would normally throw down a bucket of water and mop it, but cups of water and towels will do. We will strain them into the sink."
I filled up a cup of water to hand to her. She promptly threw it over the thick floor. It was a pitiful amount.
"This is the only time I'll allow you to throw things on the floor" she told me with a cheeky smile, taking the pile of towels to lay on the table.
With permission, I blasted the tap into my hands. Throwing the larger wave onto the floor, Mrs Chen knelt into the slime to scrape at it.
"Your dress" I worried as the gleam was smeared.
She chuckled and waved it off.
"Expensive things truly don't make my heart happy" she smiled "this is only momentary. It won't be the end of the world if one designer dress actually has a bit of hard work stained into it."
I lowered myself beside her and picked up a towel to slap into the slop before me.
"Back and forth" Mrs Chen showed me "it won't make much of a difference at first, but it'll get better as we keep working at it."
She got up to drench her already soaked towel in the sink, choking it to spill the excess water down the drain.
She returned to her position, scrubbing again.
"Thank you for showing me, Mrs Chen" I grinned when I scrubbed alongside her.
She giggled at my towering frame beside her hunched over the tiny towel. It was amusing her again.
"Who needs children when I have you, Big Guy?"
She didn't sound lonely when she said that. She was truly happy, even while smothered in sticky saliva and busting her body trying to not be reprimanded by the cleaners.
She truly enjoyed having me here. I felt the same way. We scrubbed together, grinning as she started to sing a cleaning song to pass the time.
Other than Eddie, she was the only other person I'd truly die for, just as willingly.
Mrs Chen was too good to us.
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