表叔一家人當年係家族入面都算係令人聞風喪膽既恐怖人物。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhy2GAbffO
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJMwZBHaFF
要講番佢地既威水事蹟實在太多不能盡錄，但只可以講既係，有佢地呢家四口出現既地方，一定會寸草不生。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8glYKBWiJt
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZIlI4TMuI
當你以為人地問你有冇女朋友，月入幾多已經夠mean，夠哂hardfeeling個時，表叔母已經係進化到問你幾時請飲，有冇樓。咁樣其實咪同細舅母差唔多level姐？717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmwoKkZr7I
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBLwpFKdfh
錯呀！！！717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm15rwc8dE3
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5Zu7cOJmI
細舅母只會對住我地呢班近親先會咁口多，但係呢家人係咩人面前都會咁樣唔理人地感受，最恐怖既一點係佢地永遠會搵地方踩到你。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVHZ4RXSGd
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVcsvBsHe3
仲記得當初阿均成功入到醫學院時姨丈係大既家族group到報喜，但係當人人都係到恭喜前、congra後時，呢個時候表叔母居然會打句「做醫生第日實搵好多喇」黎破壞個氣氛。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeg3ospILZ
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnl8ZZ7bik
然後每次家族聚會時佢都會私底下同其他遠房係到講阿均成家人都係勢利眼，咁高分就只係識揀醫黎讀，淨係識向錢看。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71tS94eFPw
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeD5Gcc5cF
但佢卻唔知道阿均當年係睇完醫龍而去選擇讀bio，然後咁多年苦讀只係為左做一次龍太郎。我仲記得當年阿均中二病到成日袋甜品係衫，想要盡力咁樣復原呢個角色，結果而家成為左唔可以提既黑歷史。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkF8GvXJj3l
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVUHxuxWdd
而當佢個大女係佢拆磨之下辛苦考入到UCL之後，佢地更加會肆無忌憚咁大聲講：「港大醫學院有咩咁叻呢，有能力既緊係去外國讀名牌大學喇。」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslpRFe2fu9
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN71kNsZfQz
另外，佢地個細仔當初辛苦咁俾佢地逼入喇沙之後佢地就不時係到撩事鬥非，周圍同親戚問長問短要起人底，所有band1非名校既中學係佢地眼中都會顯得低賤。直到佢踩中讀緊皇仁既表哥同埋st paul男女既表妹，先肯停手。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAtJYQLqz9
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsEZ1sYPS8
仲有當初表妹小心咁收埋既地底情唔小心俾佢地個女係中央溫書時撞破，阿姨同姨丈都未嬲，表叔同表叔母就已經唱通街，講到單純既puppy love好似好淫亂既一件事，有必要大叫一聲「成何體統」咁樣。個時甚至加鹽加醋到話連初吻都未失既表妹已經失左身，撞破既地點由中央變左做賓館門口。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1EUEJqp4B
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiHolwMZyw
記得阿姨初頭聽完嬲到想同佢地嘈交，但係俾姨丈叫停先放低件事。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnV6KtTMW9
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsg3epQUY3
「隻狗咬你，唔通你又要咬番隻狗轉頭？」平時唔多講野既姨丈語出驚人，或者就係佢呢種態度先令佢可以咁成功。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4TC90XNDu
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicGmI5bNsJ
而我地卻唔知道個時表叔連續幫公司失去左幾大客戶，到底同呢件事有冇關。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktHIcNyaec
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQEKwKeNJ0
長年累月落黎既爭執使到表叔一家人就已經同婆婆呢一脈有上牙齒印，佢地咁多年黎都唔會放過攻擊我地既機會。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdebbar8DmB
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eJ7pT9Z47
不過對象都慢慢由難對付既大舅一家、細舅母一家同姨丈一家轉到我身上。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp72kqs7HQz
見到好似死神咁樣行緊埋黎準備要收割我生命既表叔同表叔母，我心入面有啲不安。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmoZdaq0Q1
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX1OGMFja2
一直以黎媽子同老豆對我都係實行緊呢一套放牧式育兒法，好記得老豆當初同我講溫室小花唔襟撞，要我學識一個人去闖下，唔可以成日靠沙維小白。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9whO38Fybb
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3WedR3Isz
但係老豆呀，波呢樣野不嬲都係十一條友踢架喇，家陣你要我一個人落場，我真係難啲以寡敵眾呀呢。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyVh6GJUBn
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnbgFh3Cmj
我拋出求救既眼神，老豆同媽子互相對望之後都係冇踏上前打救我。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iO1WNGywN
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVsOXodr3E
正當呢個時候，手心傳來一陣溫暖。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UDHD47Gnz
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuw1Nj3s6L
好似感覺到我既不安，Tiffany本來同我虛握緊既手突然間捉實左我，我感覺佢我地兩人既手指交疊，十指緊扣。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY02wrbA3QC
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc2JOhnir2
我望一望身邊既佢，Tiffany兩隻圓滾滾既雙目望住我：「有我陪你。」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVMC756lV9
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJdCJ95KWI
「仔，記唔記得老豆當初教你踢波既口訣。」呢個時候，老豆突然插把口。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPcPokXd9r
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYN9eq0Szbe
咁多次，我點記得呀！！！717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD5NDNzIAn
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxaEdNJ9zF
然後我望到老豆身邊既媽子突然用手作勢，畫左個圓形。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWy2kb36dVk
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4VxBedyLH
屌！！！717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGVYqyDG3x
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGWEPMFO9w
你地要幫我既話，唔該俾提示俾明顯啲呀大佬！！！717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9yriK5BWt
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnsjIm5Fh1
「麥包最叻係咩？」老豆好似冇眼睇，直接係到點明我。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrnC1NiqQY
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6urcosZxq
然後我見到媽子好似覺得我好冇悟性咁樣低左低頭，佢心入面一定係諗緊：「如果唔係阿雅係到，我都賴得幫你搵番幾分面子。」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRtJDrEn02
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIFQM6Gcnb
媽子個手勢隱若間好似畫緊個圖示咁．．．圓中間分兩邊？717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPaF0HXkfl
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOUAKvXYfh
「快，屈速！太極，借力打力！」我腦海入面突然出現左呢幾隻字。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTKIvBIoHh
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4Kr2DEtHB
有了——717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhJPW70AfE
呢個時候我已經明白左老豆同媽子想要我做既事。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg0MI6h03y
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznFrWmoPU9
天下武功，無堅不摧，唯快不破。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ok8UQc3Zq
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKWcGnZ6JZ
我地呢一房所有親戚都凝神屏氣咁望住我，準備睇我點樣應對佢地。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPl8TZxZ2a
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnrglPfwdp
正當表叔同表叔母行埋我面前時，只見係佢地出口前我已經先發制人：「噫～～乜呢四位唔係就係表叔、表叔母、你地個女阿婷同阿輝咩！咁齊人番黎探我地呀，食唔慣英國米，屙壞肚呀？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf2pUmthI1
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHE9XXTVD0l
「食就一定食得慣架喇，我地血統入面天生就係Britishhhh~~~唔似你咁有住野蠻人既血脈！」阿婷答道。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3qHXYqBil
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3OJODNM8g
表叔先派出兩個仔女先打頭陣。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRNiQJ9vke
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrRSZ1fg14
「唔係呀，我記得阿輝仔係97年7月1打後先出世架，不過其實血統就唔關咩年份出世既事，呢啲野關遺傳事既。」我望一望表叔同表叔母。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLsjeHA8ov
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1J8IGUQt5h
「你．．．你．．．你——！」阿輝本來想還拖，但係發現自己根本駁唔到，因此佢直接用聲東擊西。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaepK2wPJwJ
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c53hEsoFO
「你你你你，冇名你叫架？你漏口我地唔會怪你，畢竟唔係你既錯，但係你漏口又要出黎獻醜就係你既錯。」我義正詞嚴咁對住阿輝講。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu3jos9VhP
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndq9gv4SMR
「阿．．．家．．．家姐，佢．．．佢蝦．．．蝦我！」年紀未到十八既阿輝用左小朋友最慣用既退場方式。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKwu4ntnXM
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx14quLkAZX
「算喇，其實食唔飽冇力講野都會有咁既後果。唔係喇，你地係咪連米都冇得食所以先番黎？」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6JQ2xjdLF
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesOOCSzP42
如果係外國撈到風生水氣佢地鬼會捨得番黎咩，貪香港租貴定係污染指數越黎越高定係租金就黎去到全球第一呀？717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U5uE8NysW
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi7vjA0oCc
「你就冇得食，我地餐餐大魚大肉呀！」憤怒既阿婷反咬一口。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZtiaaLjBg
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbm72IZA1V8
「我都睇得出既，你個樣同個look話左俾我知喇。」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHaK8hKIhZ
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3M2jB9tSD
我遮遮口笑道：「估唔到去左外國之後，你都依舊係著番大碼，不過今次係鬼婆大碼咁解喇！」717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI7yTyheZh
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttLubqNAH8
「阿！！！」一擊分生死，阿婷同阿輝直接俾我擊倒退場。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtZ9a8fBkn
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVxccEOQyU
我冇用任何一隻粗口就已經可以將佢地嚇退，除左要多謝Tiffany俾我既勇氣，更加要多謝台服英雄聯盟咁多位玩家教識我鬧人既技巧。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziqIr7FJs0
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOb5Rtp9tr
呢個時候表叔同表叔母意識到唔多對路，呢個明仔比起五年前要強得太多，唔知佢到底經過咩事？717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOCVUp1gwv
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJqRrZt4vQ
哼，我笑左笑。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuy5Pd1lx2
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dh0Qs2Z0L
佢地係唔會明白我既經歷，我英雄聯盟既成就唔係好似普通人咁打排位升分衝鑽石，我係可以連鑽石積分都唔要，只要人地一開口問我屋企人，我就會企定定係到同佢討論人生討論到榮譽等級歸零既人。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5VTLRVz1C
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCICftRtWj
除此而外，係建築業打混左成年，我已經慢慢學識左更多更高層次既攻擊手段，係工作中向每一位senior學習，佢地都有自己一套獨特既mean人方式，有別於地盤工友個直黎直去既放狗咬人式屌人，坐係office既每一位senior都係一條毒蛇——717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7wzMkOov6
717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSekvUftRs
不屌則已，一屌驚人。717Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP0upFeQtJ
