Chapter 6 426Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9r2u95ISPv
“Happy one year!!” Dany squealed as I rounded the sidewalk on the way to her house.
“Oh hi, babe. Happy one year to you too. Can you believe that we’ll be seniors?” I said, wrapping my arms around her waist.
“I swear, eleventh grade went by so fast, so fast,” She giggled, kissing my cheek. “It went way too fast.”
I smiled and stopped us. I took her face in my hands and tilted her head back. She giggled as I planted my lips against her neck. I grinned as I felt the vibrations of her throat. Her fingers gripped my arms and I trailed kisses up towards her ear as she shivered under my touch. Before I could get to her lips, a sharp cough sounded behind us and I spun around to find Dany’s father standing there with an unsatisfied expression.
“Melvin.”
“H-Hello Mr. Hansen, how are you?”
“I was good.” He then ushered Dany towards him and murmured something into her ear. She nodded but didn’t look very happy afterwards. “Goodbye, Melvin. See you later, honey.”
“Bye.”
“Bye, dad!”
I waited until he walked back inside the house and took Dany back into my arms.
“What the hell did he say to you?”
“He’s knows it’s our one-year anniversary.” Her face turned red.
“Okay, and why is that an issue?”
“Well… god, do I have to spell it out?”
“I’m not following.”
She scoffed and pushed out of my embrace. “He told me not to have sex with you tonight.”
My eyes widened and I looked towards her house where her father was staring at us through the window.
“Um… uh…”
“He thinks we won’t because I nodded and agreed with him, but he’s naive, it’s our one-year anniversary, obviously we’re going to do it.”
My mind was all over the place; I could feel my palms already starting to sweat and my heart felt like it was about to leap out of my chest.
“Mel, are you okay?”
“What if we listen to your dad. I would rather not die.”
“He won’t find out. God, man up.”
Man up. Man up. I’m a man. Yeah. She’s my girl and I’m a man. Sex is inevitable between us.
“Okay, tonight…My place? My parents work.”
“Great idea,” She smiled, grabbing my face and pecking my cheek.
I tried to smile, but I couldn’t move the muscles on my face.
“I know we should be spending the day together, but I’m going to go get ready. I want to be perfect for you.”
“It’s only eleven!”
“I need all afternoon!” She yelled as she ran into her house.
I clutched my chest after she left and tried to catch my breath. She wanted to. She thought I wanted to. I wanted to, right? We had come close several times over the past year, but I had always told her that we should wait. I don’t know what I was waiting for, but I was waiting, nonetheless. She would always groan and tell me I was being a wimp, but I just couldn’t give her what she wanted. Tonight, would be different though. Tonight, I would give myself to her. She would be mine and I would be hers.
I ran back towards my house and stumbled up the stairs to my room. When I got into my room, I slammed the door shut and looked into my mirror. I looked pathetic. My cheeks were flushed and the bags under my eyes were the most prominent feature of my face. I rubbed relentlessly, but my face did not change. My eyes were too big, and they were not even an interesting blue color. They were just blue; nothing special like Evan’s flawless aqua blue eyes. I rubbed them and started running my hands through my hair. My hair was getting too long. I pulled my top dresser drawer open and searched for my scissors. Once I found them, I snipped off the long parts of my hair, and soon my hair was a nice clean cut. I was proud of how my hair cutting ability was improving, but unfortunately, I only knew how to cut my own hair, so I would never be able to open my own salon. I looked back into the mirror. How could Dany want to sleep with this? My eyes seemed even droopier than before. I shook my head and fell back on my bed.
I couldn’t stop my thoughts. I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen later. I rolled around, desperately trying to stop my thoughts.
It must’ve been about an hour later before I got back up and pulled out an outfit that I thought Dany might enjoy tonight. I pulled out a light blue button up and began to pull out loose shorts but stopped when I realized she would want me in some nice pants, so I grabbed out my only nice dress pants. I put on the outfit and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. In that mirror I saw a guy who Dany would want. He looked smart and sophisticated. He did not resemble me at all. I smoothed down my hair and tucked in my pockets. I was going to give myself to my wonderful girlfriend. It was going to be good.
I ran down to my kitchen and pulled out the eggs.
“Whoa!” I jumped and almost dropped the eggs as my mother waltzed into the kitchen. “You look very handsome. What’s the occasion? I’ve never seen you put so much effort into your look. Did you cut your hair?”
“Mom! I thought you were at work.”
“They want me for the evening shift. I’m leaving in about ten minutes. Your dad should be home by eleven though to keep you company unless you’re going out. You didn’t answer me. Why are you so dressed up?”
“Well…”
Shit I forgot to clean the hair off of my floor.
“One second,” I whispered and headed for the staircase. My mother put out her arm to stop me though.
“I think I know what this is about.” She smiled and ruffled my bangs. “You’re going to go make up with Evan, finally.”
“What? No! Hell no!”
“Hey watch your mouth.”
“I am never going to make up with him.”
“Why won’t you ever tell me what happened?”
“Because… just… ugh… I’m so dressed up because it’s Dany and my one-year anniversary.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, and I want to look nice for my awesome girlfriend. She deserves it.” I could almost feel steam coming out of my ears. My cheeks were on fire.
“I know that, baby, I just thought…You’ve just seemed so down lately. I thought you would want to have your friend back.”
“I need to go clean my room,” I said shoving past my mom.
I would never forgive Evan for how he treated me, and I didn’t need him in my life. He was an idiot and he didn’t love me back. He might have even gotten with Dany if I hadn’t cut him off. I grabbed a broom and swept my hair into the trash. I couldn’t believe my mom would think that I would make up with Evan. Yes, she had no idea what had happened, but still. She shouldn’t meddle in my business. She should be happy that I had such a wonderful girlfriend. I only needed Dany. She would keep me sane. She would make me a better man.
I looked at my clock. Two fifty. I would never survive with these thoughts running around in my head. I completely forgot about my lunch and ran over to Dany’s house.
“What the hell, Mel. I don’t want to see you until six.” She had a towel on her head and her eyes were different shades of black and brown.
“Did you get a black eye. What’s all that black?”
“It’s eye shadow. I’m experimenting. Now leave!”
“But I’m lonely and I need you. Can I please…”
“No!” She interrupted, slamming the door in my face.
I frowned and ran my hands nervously through my hair. How could I get my thoughts out of my mind? I glanced behind her house and in the distance, I spotted the blue house with white shutters. Evan.
Suddenly I’m on his porch, and even more suddenly, I’m banging on his door. I waited for him to answer. The door lock jiggled, and I held my breath. The door flew open and there was… his mom, it was his mom.
“Hi Mrs. Nas,” I stuttered and tried to gather my senses. “Is Evan there?”
“He’s upstairs.”
I pushed past her and took the stairs two at a time until I was standing in front of his bedroom door. I mustered up my courage and knocked on his door.
“Mom! I’m not in the mood.”
God, his voice sounded so good. How could it have possibly gotten any better?
“Um…” I hadn’t even said a word before the door was ripped open.
Evan’s eyes were wide, and his mouth was hanging slightly open.
“Evan,” I whispered.
He grabbed my arm and shoved me into his room, slamming the door behind him.
“What are you doing here, Mel?” He asked, his face was only inches away from mine. I couldn’t think.
“I-I…”
“What are you doing here?” He repeated, more forcefully.
“Evan, I…”
But before I could say anything, his lips were on mine. They were possessive, harsh, and they made my head spin. He grabbed my face and shoved me against a wall. This felt like a dream. I could taste all of him. He groaned and pressed his hands up into my shirt. His fingers were burning my skin, and I couldn’t contain my happiness. After a while, we both ran out of breath, and as we separated, Evan ran his finger along my lips.
“Is that what you came here for?” He murmured, his cheeks and lips a swollen red.
I laughed and nibbled on his finger.
“Tell me what we did at the Renaissance.”
“I-I didn’t take advantage of you! I swear!”
“We kissed though, didn’t we?”
“…Yes… are you angry about that?”
“Obviously not,” He breathed, pressing his face into my neck.
“Evan…”
“Shhh… let’s not talk about this now, okay? Not yet, not yet…” He sucked on my neck and I moaned.
-------------------------------------------
I tore my gaze away from the house that Evan used to live in and tried to forget about that daydream. That would never happen between Evan and I, never. Would it? God, I wanted my fantasy to be real. I glanced down at my pants and I quickly jumped off of Dany’s porch. I needed to get home before anyone saw this. I ducked my head down and started running, but then as I was blindly running, I saw a pair of feet.
I skidded to a halt but slammed into the person anyway. Tumbling over, we landed in the grass. I, thankfully, landed on top and had no pain. The person below me took all the pain.
“Oh god, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you, I…” I started in a blabber until I looked the person straight in the face.
“Mel…”
“Evan…” I whispered back, sitting there on top of him in disbelief. Before he could say anything else, I jumped off of him, and held out my hand to help him up.
“Mel, I…”
“No… don’t say anything,” I interrupted and started to briskly walk away.
“No, Mel, I have to say something,” Evan said, catching up to me. He grabbed my arm to try to stop me, but I shoved him away.
“Stop!”
“Mel…God!” He caught up to me again, but this time tackled me to the ground.
“Evan, get off!”
“No, listen Mel… We need to be friends again… Please…”
“We don’t need to be anything.”
“Mel…” Evan took a deep breath and I couldn’t stop myself from staring at his throat and watching his Adam’s apple move up and down. “Mel…”
“Mel, what?!” I yelled, trying to break free from his grip.
“Mel… I need you. I need you, buddy.”
“I’m not your buddy.”
“I need you… Bucky.”
He leaned down as I registered what he just said, and I could feel his breath on my ear.
“I need you,” He whispered into my ear, and then started moving away, but I couldn’t take it.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought his face down to mine. His lips crashed onto mine and before I could even think, he attacked my mouth and took control. He bit down on my lower lip and I groaned, my mouth opening slightly and allowing access to his tongue. I tried to be dominant, but he fought my tongue and roamed my mouth with ease. I didn’t remember the Renaissance being this intense, but I liked it. I liked the way he was tugging my hair and I liked the way he was holding me down. I wanted him. I wanted all of him.
Suddenly his kisses were turning lighter and that was when I realized that we were still on the grass next to the sidewalk. We were out in the open, in plain sight. Part of me didn’t care though. Part of me just wanted to have everyone know; to have everyone stare and gossip. I groaned as he stopped. His lips were swollen and big; I didn’t even want to think about how big my lips must have looked. Evan scraped his forehead along mine and tried to catch his breath. I gripped his neck and tried to bring his lips to mine, but he shook his head.
“Mel…We have to stop…” He stood up and held out his hand. I sighed and stood up, completely speechless.
We started walking, neither of us saying a single word. Evan still hadn’t caught his breath.
“Mel…I know what day it is…” He sighed, came to a stop, and faced me.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s you and Dany’s one year…”
“And…?”
“And I can’t do this to Dany… I can’t do this… to you.”
“To me?!” I said exasperated.
“Yes, to you! I can’t…I can’t let you like me… We can’t be a thing. No one, and I mean, no one would approve.”
“Who cares about people! We just fucking made out, and now you’re trying to tell me off! What the hell? What are you even doing here? Didn’t you move?”
Evan frowned and nodded. I could see him fidgeting with his fingers. I glanced down at his body and was surprised to see how filled out he had gotten since the last time we saw each other.
“I did move, but I miss this place, and I come back when I can. You know that I have my driver’s license, right?”
“No, I didn’t know that. I have mine as well. I didn’t get it until a couple months ago though.”
“Mel, I got to be honest, I came over to see you. I wanted to see you because I never see you at school anymore, a-and… you look so good. And I obviously like you.”
I couldn’t form words. He was finally telling me the truth.
“I really like you. I even fucking tried to get with other guys, but you’re hard to shake, Mel. I thought of you when I was with all of them.”
“With? All of them?”
“Not with, no, I never could get that far. I tried dating them, and I only dated four of them.”
“Only four?! Evan, what the hell?”
“Well what was I supposed to do? You were off with Dany. I was lonely and confused. You know, I met some really nice guys, nicer than you could ever be. They cared and actually stuck around to deal with me. They never left unless I screamed at them to leave. But no, I could never be with a nice person, I have to be fantasizing about some ass who can’t decide between me and a fucking girl.”
“You know what, Evan?” I growled. I could feel the heat rising into my face. “Fuck Dany, fuck everyone. Let’s be gay. Let’s be hella gay.”
Evan’s eyes widened and suddenly he was laughing. He grabbed my face and pressed his forehead to mine.
“I was hoping you would say something like that, but like… you’re still with Dany…”
I could see my house in the distance and before Evan could say anything else, I grabbed his hand and dragged him along. I glanced at my watch and cheered internally when I realized that my mom would be gone. I ripped my keys out of my pocket and swung open the door. No one greeted me and my mom’s shoes were gone. I dragged Evan upstairs to my room; he protested the whole time, but I ignored him. I pushed him into my room, slammed the door behind me, and shoved Evan down on my bed. My lips were already on his in a frenzy.
“Mel… Mel…” He muttered, trying to push me off. “We can’t yet… What… about Dany…”
I ignored him and slid my hands up his shirt. He threw his head back and finally succumbed. I smiled and sucked on his neck. He gripped by shoulders and I could feel him shaking. This is what I had dreamed about for years. It was finally coming true.
“Y-You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this,” He whispered, melting under my touch.
I giggled and laid down beside him. I wrapped my arms slowly around his waist.
“Why did you stop?” He murmured, rubbing my arm.
“We have plenty of time,” I smiled devilishly.
“Dany is going to murder you,” Evan chuckled, gripping me tighter. “But I’m not giving you back ever.”
“When did you feel something?” I asked, pushing his shirt further up his chest.
He grinned and slid himself out of his shirt. I hungrily ran my hands along all his crevices.
“Since I left you for those toxic people.”
“Wait…”
“Yeah, you guessed it. I left partially because of my feelings. It really didn’t change anything though…” He whispered.
“That’s insane. I liked you around that time too, but you were my best friend, so I didn’t want to say anything.”
“I am your best friend. Whatever this is going to turn out to be, I’m still your best friend.”
“Forever.”
Evan sat up and sighed. He rubbed his face and looked down at me. The longing I saw just seconds earlier had suddenly vanished. I sat up next to him and kissed along his shoulder, but he shrugged me away.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Mel… We still can’t tell anyone. Not yet.”
“And why not?”
“You know why… I know that being gay has become tolerable, but people still judge. I don’t want that for us.”
“For you!”
“No, for us!”
I jumped out of my bed and slammed my door open. Evan flinched and watched me as I tossed him his shirt.
“Get out.”
“No, Mel.”
“Just go!”
“No!” He yelled, standing up and walking towards me.
“Stop!”
Suddenly he pressed me up against the door and his lips were on mine. The possessive action made my head spin and no sooner had that happened were we back on the bed. This time my shirt came off. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. His hands roamed all over my chest and ran all down my stomach. They landed hesitantly at my belt. I stiffened.
“Not yet,” I breathed and sucked on his neck. I didn’t want him to know how nervous I was.
He sank down onto me and caressed my hair. “I think you should get ready for your date.”
“And why is that?”
“Because… We should probably cover our tracks for now. I think we need to take this slow.”
“Evan, in that time when we were apart were you ever with a girl or were you just with those guys.”
“Well… I was with one girl… and I actually was with her,” Evan whispered.
“Oh… um, did you like it?”
“It was pleasurable.”
“Would you ever do it with a girl again?”
“Yeah, I think. I mean, I’ve never been with a guy before though. You know, I think I was waiting for you.”
I grabbed his arm and climbed on top of him. He smiled and ran his hands along my hips.
“So, you’re saying that you’ve never been in this position with another guy?” I said and leaned down to kiss his neck.
He nodded as his eyes screwed shut.
“Good.”
I stopped abruptly and heard him groan as I slid off him.
“You’re evil.”
“Yeah I know.”
I smiled as I slipped on my dress shirt again. Evan leaned on his elbow and watched me with the most intense gaze I have ever seen. It almost made me want to hide from him; it was like he could see right through me. I turned away from him to fix my hair.
“Is it bad of me to want you to turn eighteen already and let us just drive away into the sun?” I whispered as I turned back towards him. The intense stare was still plastered on his face.
“Only a couple weeks now.”
“Why should we hide it?” I blurted out again. I didn’t understand why we would need to hide our relationship. Yes, some people would not understand, but screw those people.
“Mel, you know why. Just, not yet.”
“No, I don’t know why?”
“I don’t want to be disowned or bullied.”
“You think people will disown you? It’s 2014 for fuck’s sake.”
“Mel, my parents are very homophobic.”
“Well, mine aren’t fully accepting but they tolerate it. You could always live with me!”
“Just quit it, Mel.”
Evan stood up and looked out my window. His face was scrunched up and I could tell he was thinking about everything all at once. He always overthought everything, and at this moment I hated him for doing that.
To ease the tension, I whispered, “To think, you’ll be even more beautiful. You’re so beautiful now.”
I could see him grin and shake his head. “I’ll probably become uglier now that you said that.”
Then without any warning I could see him sucking in a breath and sniffling. I got up and hugged him from behind. He was shaking and I could feel the tears falling onto my arms. I had never seen Evan cry like this, and it made me happy to think that he felt comfortable enough to share his feelings with me. I don’t remember how long we were standing there, but my phone alarm startled both of us.
“What’s that for?” Evan sniffled.
“I have to be over at Dany’s in a few minutes,” I said, wiping his stray tears away from his face.
“I’ll leave then.”
He grabbed his shirt and slid it on. His eyes were so red that it made me wonder just how long I had been standing there holding him. Before he walked out the door, I grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him into a sloppy kiss. Evan put his hand against my chest and pushed slightly. I didn’t want to stop, but his lips were suddenly gone.
“We’ll talk later,” Evan said and disappeared from my room.
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