As I enter my bedroom, it slowly dawns on me the situation that I’ve got myself into. To keep myself from panicking, I quickly go about tidying my room, making sure everything is presentable, after I feel a bit calmer, I go about changing my outfit so I feel a bit less uncomfortable, if that’s possible. I choose a cropped red vest, some comfy black shorts, a black hoodie and some fluffy socks, before tying my hair up and applying some tinted lip balm. 522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtpsKlnUK0
After taking a few more deep breaths I’m finally feeling a bit more like myself I get settled on the sofa and scroll through my social media feed, catching up on the day’s news. I’m about to get back in my chair and go see if West is okay as he seems to be taking forever when my phone pings.
Annie: Hey Effie is now a bad time? Parents are at each other’s throats and can’t get hold of Mark, call me if you’re free xxx
Effie: Sure, just give me two mins or so chick xxx
I’m just about to shout West when he knocks on my bedroom door, before he slowly opens the door and steps inside.
“Sorry I took so long, I couldn’t find the straws babe.” West says, placing the drinks and chocolate down, before coming down to sit on the sofa. He sits at one end and lets me rest my legs over him.
“Don’t worry about it, you’ll have to give me five minutes before you have my undivided attention as Annie needs me to call her, you can put what you want on tv, or music.” I say smiling, before picking up my phone to ring Annie, the phone rings several times before she picks up and I can hear her closing a door before she says anything.
“Hey Effie, sorry for being a bother, I hope I’m not interrupting anything, just didn’t want to be on my own right now and I didn’t know who else to call.” She says, and I can hear the weariness in her voice.
“It’s okay, and don’t worry you’re not interrupting anything, just I chilled night in.” I reply, I look up and see West with a questioning look on his face, I just smile and mouth sorry, I briefly hear music in the background but then Annie is talking again.
“Did you enjoy today? It was nice to get to know you a bit more outside of the support group, I also think that is the most I’ve ever heard Rose speak for quite a while.” Annie seems to be directing the conversation away from and I feel like I should go with her flow of conversation. I move to sit up as my backs about to go dead, West help’s me move my legs down and pulling me up before placing his arm around my waist as a stretch my back out.
“Yeah I did enjoy it in the end, just needed to get over my fears first and I am sorry for snapping at first, I was nothing against you.” I say, I try to reach for my drink, but fail and I have to whisper to West, in hopes that Annie didn’t hear.
“I have to admit though, it was weird seeing West be so caring, he hasn’t ever been like that around us.” Annie says, and I feel awkward, mainly because I’m pretty sure that West just heard all of that. I look up at West to see him already looking down at me as he goes to kiss my forehead lightly.
“I wouldn’t really know, but he seems like a pretty decent guy, at least better than the ones that I’ve previously known anyway.” I reply, not wanting this conversation topic to go on much longer, plus I would actually like to spend some time with West tonight.
“What even are you anyway? Is he your boyfriend or are you just messing around? God, could you imagine if things went sideways and you ended up falling out, talk about an awkward session at support group.” I hear Annie laughing, but I’m too busy trying to move across the sofa away from West, which doesn’t work and I and up falling off of it instead, it takes me a minute to realise what’s happened and then I can already feel the bruises forming on my legs.
“Crap, baby, are you okay?” West asks as he wraps his arms around my waist in order to lift me up off the floor. He slowly lifts me up on to his lap so lying across his chest slightly, I’m about to cuddle into him when I remember Annie. I go to pick up the phone when West gently takes it from my hand and places it against his ear.
“Hi Annie, it’s West. Yeah, she’s fine, just had a bit of a fall, what do you mean is it because of what you said, hmmmm okay, no I’m not annoyed as it’s partly the truth, we just haven’t talked about it yet. Okay I’ll get her to message you in a bit, bye Annie.” West put’s my phone down gently on the table and takes a quick drink before he turns his face to me.
“First of all, are you okay?” West questions me, eyes quickly scanning my body to look for any sign of injury. I don’t really know how to respond so I just nod my head, pulling my body closer to him, trying to hide my watery eyes.
“Hey, Effie look at me babe.” West says quietly, he brings his hand up to softly wipe away the tears and I relax into his touch, finally meeting his eyes as I send him a soft smile.
“I know I shouldn’t of tried to move so suddenly, but Annie’s words got to me and I knew she was kind of right, we haven’t had the serious conversations that we should have had and I was feeling awk-“ I’m cut off by West lips softly pressing against mine, at first I’m surprised but then I slowly relax and enjoy the moment, before I’m bursting into a fit of giggles because that was definitely one way to shut me up. West sits me up, my back against his chest before he talks again.
“In all honesty, I think it was me who wasn’t ready for the serious side of things yet, and because you didn’t seem to be too bothered, I let sleeping dogs lie, so I’m sorry if we should have had that talk sooner babe.” He says, and I can sense the worry in his voice.
“It’s not just your fault though, you have been nothing but considerate to me and the issues that I’ve had to and still am working through, I also wasn’t completely ready for the serious side of things as I was enjoying the fun side for a little while as I haven’t felt like this in ages.” I reply, thinking that it’s probably a conversation we should have soon.
“Hm? Felt like what in a while?” I can feel his smile against my head and I lean back against his chest a bit more and I can feel West’s arms slide around my waist.
“Happy, I guess and relaxed, like I don’t constantly have to worry about how you’ll react to my spasms, my mum all my other baggage.” I state, replying to his question and feeling myself blush as I do. I turn my face towards his to make eye contact and yet again his eyes are already staring back.
“Can I kiss you? Or are you just gonna keep on talking and blushing baby.” West asks, looking down at my lips while he does. I reach up to stroke his cheek, using it as an approving gesture to his question. His face slowly lowers to mine as I turn my face to meet the difficult angle. At first, it’s only just a gentle kiss, but it soon heats up as I feel West turn my body to face him, with him moving my legs to either side of his body. he pulls back for a second to look at me.
“What about the serious conversation we probably need to have.” West asks, concern laced in his voice. I think for a few minutes before replying
“Well, You’ll be here in the morning won’t you? Or once I’m asleep are you gonna leave?” I question, smirking as I pull his lips back to mine. I can feel his arms around my waist as I go to place my arms around his neck, I feel West pull away as his lips move to my neck as I feel his hands unzip my hoodie as he pulls it off my arms and probably flings it across my room. As he continues to kiss my neck I begin to let out small moans as he slowly applies more pressure, his lips quickly work there way back to mine, and it quickly deepens as his tongue slowly presses against my lips, it takes me a second but before I know it I’m parting my lips and I’m reaching down to tug at West’s shirt. His arms leave my waist in order to take his t-shirt off, before they're back on my waist stroking my sides. I run my fingers over his chest, feeling his muscles flex under my touch as he groans at my touch.
“Babygirl, you are seriously driving me crazy right now, let me know if you want me to stop.” At first, I’m confused but then a feel his hand at the waistband of my shorts and I giggle at his cold touch as his fingers slowly enter the heated area. I try to relax into his touch but it doesn’t go to plan and I end up spasming forward with my hips and I burst out laughing to ease the awkwardness.
“Maybe we should move to the bed?” I question, giggling into West’s shoulder, which makes West laugh in return, he slowly lifts me up as my legs go around his waist as he carries me over to the bed. He lays me on my back as he softly strokes my arms, waiting for me to relax. I lift my head up to meet his lips as he hovers above me, leaning on his arms for support.
“Are you okay with this Effie? I don’t want you to regret anything before we have that conversation about what we are.” West pulls away from me, even though I can still feel his breath brush against my neck.
“If I wasn’t okay with something I’d say, trust me, but if it makes you feel better we can talk about it now. It’ll probably make me feel less nervous as well.” I add the last part as an after-thought, so he knows the focus isn’t just on him. West goes to grab his shirt, but I pull on his arm, letting him know it’s okay for him to keep it off and that it doesn't bother me, to which he smirks. He comes to lie next to me, with one hand under me, coming to rest on my waist as I rest my head on his chest.
“Okay, I don’t really know where to start, but here goes nothing. I really like you West and I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I already trust you, which is saying something considering that after everything that happened with Seth I closed myself off to people for a while. You get that my life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and you don’t seem fazed by my wonderful mother and my awkward social skills. But there is still a lot of stuff and emotions I have to work through before I can even think about more in terms of a physical relationship, also there’s some stuff to do with my disability that isn’t pretty that I should probably tell you if we were to go any further. I’m not rejecting you or saying that you and me won’t work as more than we are right now, but I also don’t want to get invested in us more for you to up and leave when the disability and what goes along with that gets too much and you realize that it isn’t the type of relationship you want.” With everything on the table, I manage to take a shallow breath and wait for West’s response.
“Well, first of all, I really like you too and I’m glad I’ve got your trust because that’s all I’ve been working towards and everything else has been a bonus. I haven’t felt this close to someone in years and I see a different side of me when I’m with you, I actually smile and that’s all you. When it comes to your history with people I understand that you have stuff you need to work through, I have a few things myself, but I want you to meet my friends that don’t go to the group, and I want to show you off to my family. I’m never going to force you into any type of physical relationship, you can set the pace and I’ll follow as I have been doing. I want to learn everything about you, including your disability, again you can start those conversations when you are ready, and if after a while we or either of us feels like it isn’t working, then we’ll talk about it like adults and see if we can sort it before we abandon ship. Hey, don’t start crying baby.” I giggle and tears fall down my cheeks at the same time. West wipes them away with the pad of his thumb before giving me I concerned look. I smile at him before softly placing my lips against his and I can feel his smile appear on his face as I pull away to speak.
“I’m okay, more than even, just taken aback by feeling this relaxed and happy with you here with me, I just want to freeze right here, right now.” I smile at West. He suddenly gets up off the bed to grab his phone but I’m not close enough to see what he’s doing when I hear the opening bars of Put A Little Love On Me by Niall Horan. West gently lifts me up, bringing me to the end of the bed before softly pulling my arms to help into a standing position. West helps guide me to the middle of the room before his hands rest on my hips and I put my arms around his neck, finally understanding what’s going on as we begin to lightly sway to the song.
We fight we get high holding on to love522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XyU87GJrR
We came down 'cause there was nothing holding us522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoUTFzghPQ
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUvEuYg0Pj
Is it wrong that I still don't know my heart
Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHICMbUUduk
Are your tears falling down when the lights are low522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMIXCfmyrf
Another Friday night tryna put on a show522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yWv4ci1j8
Do you hate the weekend522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv93SfwqZnA
'Cause nobody's calling522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYy2f4GxAO
I've still got so much love hidden beneath this skin522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMpYr1vhNL
So darling
As the chorus begins to play West helps me do a miniature spin and pulls me back to him as he smiles before pulling me into a gentle embrace and soft kiss.
Put a little love on me522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj466zHkvLH
Put a little love on me522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aqNZ8mYVD
When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancing522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoklW6b0wy
I look around as my heart is collapsing522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpu9Il06Ue0
'Cause you're the only one I need522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvHjy271Zs
To put a little love on me
We wrote and we wrote522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8hNgaCrTr
Til there were no more words522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAN2bM3jJb
We laughed and we cried522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EgYDyvSZf
Until we saw our worst522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXjzGX6lin
Is it wrong that I still wonder where you are522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHHvVDvMcT
Is it wrong that I still don't know my heart
Are you all dressed up but with nowhere to go522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzOIcr6AeZ
Are your tears falling down when the lights are low522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfWGv0Spyi
Another Friday night tryna put on a show522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxJtLI4niA
Do you hate the weekend522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiLhCb4w9l
'Cause nobody's calling522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbVNWgz0ND
I've still got so much love hidden beneath this skin522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9Ijpo5JEO
Will someone
Put a little love on me522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvTFogM1Pn
Put a little love on me522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTeCzrunNU
When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancing522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKHBlOCj7Q
I look around as my heart is collapsing522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEc4rRuL8rJ
'Cause you're the only one I need522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylK22omQ9f
To put a little love on me
Last night I lay awake522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE9JLVARh2
Stuck on the things we say522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aZcwFO5BG
And when I close my eyes the first thing I hear you say is
Put a little love on me522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbPKM2HK9N
Put a little love on me522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2IVmpFdtI
When the lights come up we're the only ones dancing522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDB4mPsHOu
I look around and you're standing there asking522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6YPXinPeD
You say, you're the only one I need522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytgFwUqazy
So put your love on me
You're the only one I need522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdC7FiKzI3
Put your love on me
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIrr0yE0TU
After the song ends and me and West are just stood in the middle of my room just holding on to each other we slowly separate as my phone pings letting me know I have a text. West helps me to the sofa and passes me my cider and phone before sitting down next to quietly as I read the text.
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlx5dSzERQm
Unknown: Hey Effie
Effie: umm, who is this? I don’t have your number saved sorry.
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HBacezGZz
At first, I’m really confused as to whose texting me, but when the next text appears on my phone I have to steady my breathing and I almost drop my phone, I steadily take a big sip of my drink before rereading the text on my screen. 522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybdvZvFOu0
Unknown: Oh right, sorry, it’s Seth. 522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG22YyTAz8d
West must sense my change in mood because he is quick to reach over and take my phone off me before I have a chance to stop him.
“What the fuck! Baby, are you okay?” I can hear West trying to calm his anger, I take another drink before replying to his question.
“I don’t know, I can’t think right now.” I can hear my voice crack, and before I can even stop myself the tears are already flowing down my cheeks. West reaches out to try and hold me but I spasm away from his touch as the anxiety takes over. All I can hear is my shaky sobs and shallow breaths but I hear my phone ping and the next thing I notice is West typing back, then he passes the phone back to me before standing up, grabbing his shirt and heading out of my room. I turn back to my phone to look at what’s been said.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgpU3FBHwG
Unknown: Are you okay? Didn’t mean to take you by surprise, I thought you would still have my number saved on your phone. Anyway, how has life been?
Effie: Sorry, Effie can’t get to the phone right now, but I’m West, her boyfriend, and I’ve heard all about you Seth. Let me ask you something, would you keep the number of someone who broke your heart multiple times? If your answer to that question is no then maybe there’s still some hope for you yet, but if you answered yes clearly there is more wrong with you than I thought there was to begin with. Over the past few days I have had the pleasure to meet the most amazing person on the world, not only is she the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen, Effie is kind, compassionate, thoughtful, hilarious and intelligent as heck, she has built herself back up after her toxic relationship with you. If I were you I would just lose Effie’s number and never try and contact her again or wait till she is ready to speak to you, and part of me hopes she never is ready because you really don’t deserve her forgiveness and understanding heart.522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dDjtv4AhQ
After reading West’s paragraph, a fresh wave of tears overwhelms me, but thankfully these ones were for a completely different reason. I’m too busing trying to get myself under control that I don’t notice West quietly enter the room and slowly walk over to kneel down in front of me to wipe my tears away with his thumb and shirt, and this time I don’t jump away from his delicate touch.
“Hi.” I say, whispering slightly, as I’m still feeling slightly shaky.
“Hi babygirl, I’m sorry for leaving, I just couldn’t bear seeing you like this, but I’m back now and I’m not going anywhere unless you say otherwise.” West speaks, as he leans to press a kiss against my forehead and then he lifts my head to meet his. I reach around his neck to pull him forward slightly in order to reach his lips. As I place a kiss on West’s lips, I add more pressure to make his lips part as our bodies come close as possible to each other in the current position we are currently in. as I pull on West’s shirt to go back to where we were before my phone pinged, West pulls back slightly breathless as he stands up and lifts me with him as he goes over to my bed lying my down with him on top.
“As much I want to continue, are you okay baby?” West asks, his breath slowly returning.
“Believe it or not, I actually feel pretty okay. Especially now my boyfriend back.” I smirk, using his shirt to pull him back towards me, and thankfully he gets the hint as his shirt is quickly back on the floor and he begins to kiss down my neck and collarbone, making me whimper and moan ever so slightly, to which West responds by bringing his hands to the bottom of my vest looking for permission on my face as it slowly goes to join his shirt somewhere on my bedroom floor. His hands roam all over my body as his lips come back to meet mine.
“Just tell me when to stop babygirl.” I feel West’s lips leave kisses all over my chest, as his hands go to the waistband of my shorts and I freeze, but then I relax as he comes to lie next to me.
“Want to Watch TV?” West asks, he passes me my vest and helps me get my arms through it is we snuggle on my bed watching Law And Order: SVU. West has one arm wrapped around me and one is gently stroking circles on my back.
“Thank you for understanding baby, I know I’m probably annoying you to no end but after everything tonight I just want to be close to you.” I speak up during a ad break on the TV.
“It’s okay, and I would rather be here with you then somewhere else just for the physical aspects of a relationship. Plus, it’s my duty as your boyfriend to watch TV with you and help you relax, though I do have a question.” West replies, laying a gentle kiss on the top of my head.
“Hmmmm, I love the sound of the word boyfriend, and okay, ask away.” I say, looking at his face in the warm glow of the TV and the lamp next to my bed.
“What are your plans for tomorrow?” He questions, stroking my waist lightly. I make my mind look at my internal calendar and realise tomorrow is Friday, which means no college but if I remember correctly, there is a group support session I could attend.
“I’m not at college, so I won’t be up to much, apart from possibly attending the group session around teatime. Why? What are you planning?” I strain, trying to look at his face.
“Would you like to do something, just the two of us? I believe some people would call it a date.” I can sense the smile/smirk on his face without even having to look.
“I would really like that, but don’t you have to work? Won’t Tia get suspicious if you take the day off?” As much as I would love to go on a date with West, I just don’t want him to become negligent of his responsibilities because he is spending more and more time with me.
“Not if I call and tell her now. Tia is pretty cool as long as I give notice that I’m not going to be there.” He says calmly, he goes to take his phone out of his jean pocket and smiles at me reassuringly once more before dialling Tia’s number and putting it on speaker. The dial tone rings a few times before she picks up.
“Hello West, is everything okay?” Tia’s concern is evident in her voice and it makes me smile at how much she cares.
“Hi Tia, yeah, everything is fine. I was just ringing to let you know that I won’t be working tomorrow.” West answers easily like he does this thing all the time.
“Okay, that’s fine, thank you for letting me know. Will you be at the support group tomorrow night? I have a job for us at the college to do with the Health and Social Care class on Monday and I wouldn’t mind going over the plan with you as it’s an all-day thing. It might be a bit weird because Effie from the group is in the class, but I think we can make it work.” When she gets to the end of her sentence I have to stifle a giggle, as I’m pretty sure that will be the least awkward thing if I have to stay in a room with West all day, in a class full of girls and not get possessive.
“Yeah, I’ll be there tomorrow night and I can stay after to discuss Monday. Thanks for understanding Tia, I wouldn’t cancel a shift if it wasn’t super important to me, but I met someone a few days ago and we hit it off straight away, so I’m trying to plan a day of thing to get to know them better. I’ll put in extra hours next week if need be.” West looks down at me and I swear I see him blush as he bends to plant a soft kiss on my lips.
“You met someone! I was beginning to think that you were too much of a workaholic to ever have time to meet anyone, I’m impressed. Okay, well good look for tomorrow and I will see you tomorrow night.” Tia hangs up and West gets off the bed to put his phone on charge, before helping me move the duvet so I can finally settle down as tiredness has begun to fall after such a crazy day. I quickly message Lauren that I don’t need any carers in the morning, before turn the TV off and waiting for West to lie down next to me. When he doesn’t lie down after a few minutes, I lift my eyebrows in a questioning way.
“Didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but I forgot that I’d decided to wear skinny jeans today and I can’t exactly sleep in them, do you want me to sleep on the sofa instead?” After West says this, I can’t help but laugh sleepily before patting the left side of the bed and the words are out of my mouth before I can think any further.
“After everything that’s happened tonight, this is what you're worried about? I would have said if I wasn’t okay with you being in my bed but I’m fine with it, so hurry up and get over here.” West softly walks over to the bed before taking his jeans off and climbing into bed, pulling me across to him as my head lay on his chest, he kisses my head once more before stroking patterns on my back as I drift into the world of dreams.
ns 18.68.41.141da2
