Dusk began to fall as Nicholas Anthony walked happily away from his rendezvous with Sharlto. With a joint in hand, and a now trusty ally on call, he felt at ease with his current situation. Leaving the wrought iron gates of Pornoria Gardens, Nicholas jogged to the other side of the road narrowly missing a speeding car with high volume bassy pornography playing.
The sky was broken with cracks of orange amongst the black, and as he admired its apocalyptic beauty the sound of distressed panting filled his ears. Nanthony shot around to find a young sweaty and distressed man barely able to stand behind him.
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“Oh my god you’ve gotta help me, please I beg you, I’ll do anything please just don’t let them get me!”
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Nicholas took a deep drag of his joint knowing full well something was about to unfold.
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“Settle down my dude, what the fuck is going on? Who’s gonna get you?”
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“It’s The Others, they’re coming we have to go now!!.”
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“The Others? Who are they?”
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“I took a shortcut home from work, they saw me and they’ve been following me, do you have a car? I will pay you as many Porn Coins as you want I don’t care I just wanna get out of here now please I’m begging you.”
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“It sounds like you’ve gotten yourself into a hell of a situation man, but rest easy, My car is just around the cor..”
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Before Nicholas could finish, the heavy sound of steel tipped boots could be heard ominously and loudly banging on the pavement, nearing closer and closer.
Nicholas turned his head to the mouth of the street to see a 6 foot tall man in a floral dress and combat boots terminator sprinting toward them. The poorly applied lipstick and facial hair was an immediate giveaway.
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“Is that one of The Others you were talking about?’
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“Yes that’s them, fucking run we need to get to your car!!”
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Nicholas and the distressed man hastily made their way to the car.
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Inserting the key into the ignition the Prius’ lit up into action, the sound of hardcore pornography automatically played as Nicholas stepped on the accelerator.
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“Faster faster it’s gaining on us!”
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Nick looked in the rear view mirror to see The Other running like an athlete in an apocalypse toward the car. Steadily gaining on them.
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‘We’re fucked we’re so fucked I don’t wanna die I don’t wanna die.’
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Nick once again peered into the rear vision mirror and as he did the man lunged onto the back of the car, narrowly avoiding slipping off.’
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The man tore a piece of dress off with his teeth and wrapped it around his hand. The sound of glass breaking deafened their ears. The back window collapsed in on itself as the whining grunts of the sinister non-binary pursuant struck fear into their very souls.
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Nick took a final deep drag of his joint and looked over at his distressed passenger.
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“Hey buddy, buckle up.”
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The man shot Nick a frightened look and fastened his seatbelt immediately.
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The Other had almost oozed his way into the back seat of the car as the smell of undeniably male body odour and mental illness stung their nostrils.
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Nicholas turned around and shot a look at the dress wearing porn sick beast of the night clinging onto the back of the car.
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“The boogeyman isn’t real.
I don’t believe in the boogeyman.”
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As the words left his mouth he slammed his foot down on the breaks. The pre-op floral enthusiasts body was violently flung through the car into the interior windscreen. With his vision obscured Nanthony lost control of the vehicle and slammed into a tree.
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A deafening bang was heard as the Prius’ battery block exploded into a ball of flames. The Others body was wedged through the front of the windscreen, exposing a large scrotum adorning a beetroot red micro penis.
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“Wow you fucking smoked that thing!! I didn’t know they could be killed!!”
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“That guy in a dress? Everyone’s gotta punch their fuckin’ time card soon enough, why is that soy boy immune?”
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Nicholas and the nervous man sprinted from the car wreck and ran for as long as they could muster. Finally finding a bridge to rest under out of sight they fell to their knees gasping for air.
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‘What was that thing? It dressed like a woman but had the physical stature and prowess of a man!”
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“It was one of The Others!!”
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“But what are they!?”
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“You really don’t know?!”
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“No I fucking don’t, tell me! We nearly just died!”
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“Ok ok. They’re men.. just like you or I, who’ve been sick for a very very long time, some say they were sick before the fall. Some say they became sick post mandate. Nevertheless, they have delved into some of the deepest and darkest depths of the pornographic world, and as such have been twisted and contorted by the content. They hunt healthy men, and sometimes even other sick men. They are machines, driven by an infernal desire to turn those of us who would assume their gender.
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‘What the fuck, why don’t the police do something?’
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‘The police leave them alone, as their condition is a result of engaging in too much pornographic media. How would they punish them? Make them watch more porn? It’s not worth the paperwork.’
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‘Fuckk.. so they’re acting with total impunity? Running unbridled throughout society hunting and seeking our nut sacks. That’s frightening. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this sooner!’
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‘Well now you know! I can’t thank you enough for rescuing me, here’s all the Porn Coins I have on me, it’s not much but it’s all I have!’
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‘Nah man forget the Coins, you taught me some valuable shit today, and we ended up turning that mixed up maxi dress wearing freak into a crispy critter. It wasn’t half bad a day really.’
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‘Really? We nearly died, and your car is totally destroyed!’
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‘Fuck it, it’s a Prius.’
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Nick high fived the nervous man and walked off home like a hero. With a stomach full of Xanax and a breadth of new knowledge to fight the impending Porn War, he felt more in control of his own destiny than ever before.
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