TRIGGER WARNING: BOOK CONTAINS SENSITIVE EVENTS SUCH AS MULTIPLE TYPES OF ABUSE, SUICIDAL/DEPRESSING THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS, AND VIVID DESCRIPTIONS OF SUCH ACTS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, SMACK!
My eyes cracked open to find my hand sitting on top of the snooze button located at the top of my obnoxious alarm clock. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I closed my eyes a minute longer. Six in the morning always comes too fast. By now I should be used to it, having done this every weekday morning for the last three years I’d worked at The Book Nook, our town’s local bookstore, but waking up this early never got easier. I didn't think being in school helped that much.
The high pitch beeps of my alarm clock sounded again as the final moments of my snooze time came to an end. Turning off the buzzer, I literally slid my body off the bed and landed on my feet, sliding them directly into my slippers as I shuffled down the stairs to prep my morning bowl of Cheerios. I grabbed the box and the milk, setting them on the granite countertop as I reached for my bowl and spoon. The top of the box made a small pop from the cardboard being pulled apart with my fingers and I dumped the cereal to the top of my bowl. I could feel my eyes starting to droop with tiredness as I poured my milk.
Right next to my bowl and onto my slippers.
“Shit!” My eyes flew open as I jumped back, holding the milk carton upright. Groaning in frustration, I sat the milk back on the counter and grabbed a towel, mopping up the spilled milk. “So it’s going to be one of those days, huh?” I muttered to myself as I tossed the towel and my slippers in the washing machine hiding in the closet located in the small hallway connecting the kitchen and the living room. I sighed loudly and leaned against the door jam, staring at the soggy bunnies that were on my feet moments ago. “I’m sorry babies, you’ll be clean later tonight, I swear.”
Blowing them a kiss, I sulked back into the kitchen and grabbed a bagel, leaving my bowl of cereal forgotten. I made my way back into my bedroom, taking a giant bite of the delicious bread while picking out my outfit for work; a plain gray v-neck and light blue skinny jeans. I finished off my bagel and slid my jeans over my wide hips, wiggling them passed my butt and over the little pudge of my belly so they sat on my waist. My shirt fell over my belly, hanging loosely to cover the body part I’m most self-conscious about. I walked over to the mirror and looked into my light green eyes. “Today will not suck. You will be a force to be reckoned with and breakfast was just a little mishap.” I pointed my finger at the reflection of my softly rounded face in the mirror and gave a start when I caught sight of my hair.
“OH, that’s a mess!” My light brown pixie cut was standing up in all directions and I frowned. “How am I supposed to fix this before my shift that starts in….” I glanced at my phone. “Five freaking minutes!” Panic settled in the pit of my stomach as I frantically threw on a ballcap with the bookstore logo on it and tossed my white Keds on, running outside and down the cement apartment steps quickly, not watching where my feet were landing. My foot missed a step, my body allowing gravity to take control as I fell on my butt, sliding the rest of the way down the stairs.
“God, my ass isn’t fat enough to protect me from such things,” I grumbled quietly to myself, feeling the stinging pain on my lower back and tailbone.
“Oh gosh, are you okay?”
A female voice filled my ears and I looked up to see a petite female, probably no taller than five feet, with long, black hair styled in beach waves. Based on her looks, she couldn’t have been much older than me. She knelt down beside me and checked me over for injuries.
I tilted my head in curiosity as I looked her over. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you.” The young woman stood up and held out a darker toned hand for me. I took it and stood up, dusting myself off. She offered me a large, white toothed grin.
“Not a problem. That was quite a tumble you took there.” She placed her delicate hands on her slim hips, shifting her weight to one foot. “I’m Leena, in apartment 8B. You look very familiar,” She said, giving me an inquisitive look.
My interest piqued at the mention of her apartment number. “8B? No kidding, I’m in 8A. How have we never ran into each other before?”
She shrugged. “Who knows, but I’m glad we have now!” Leena’s brown eyes shined with excitement. “I’d love to hang out sometime. Come to my place tomorrow night to celebrate the end of the week with movies and snacks?”
I thought about it for a moment, the stinging from the fall fading into a quiet echo as I put my concentration on the stunning woman in front of me. Leena seemed so genuine, almost too nice for someone living in this part of town. I couldn’t tell if I should be suspicious of her or not. Though if we lived directly next door to each other for some time now and never knew, maybe she wasn’t so bad. Also, it would be nice to have a friend for once.
I nodded slowly. “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea, especially after how my day has started off. I hope work isn’t…” My voice drifted off as I gasped, checking my phone. Fifteen minutes to seven. “Crap, my shift started five minutes ago! I’m so sorry, I have to run.”
I started to make a run toward the bike rack near the parking lot of the apartments when Leena grabbed my wrist, causing me to flinch from the pressure. “Wait! I didn’t even catch your name.” She looked at me wide eyed. For such a small woman, she had quite the iron grip. I sighed, visibly upset.
“Sophie.”
Apparently satisfied with gaining that information, Leena released her grip with a grin and started walking back toward the stairs. “Thank you, Sophie. I will see you tomorrow night! Good luck at work!” She gave a final wave and climbed up the stairs to the third floor where our apartments are located.
The cold touch of the metal lock attached to my bike bit into my hands as I quickly spun the combination, throwing the lock in my little fanny pack I’ve placed on the front of my bike. Tossing my leg over the seat and onto the farthest pedal, I jumped up and started pedaling as fast as my legs would allow. I wasn’t sure how I was going to tell my boss why I was late. I shook my head and allowed the bite of the newly crisp fall air to calm my senses. Maybe I should’ve worn a coat today. Ah hell, I’m going to get fired anyway. Maybe the cold on the way back to the apartments would feel really good after that.
After five minutes of watching cars and trees blur by, I finally got to the entrance of The Book Nook and slid off my bike. I reached into the fanny pack and grabbed the lock and the thick cord that went with it, chaining it up to the tree at the side of the building. Taking a deep breath to calm the nerves, I forced myself through the glass door. The loud ring of the bell hooked to the top rang throughout the quiet store, letting everyone inside know I was there. The sound was enough to make me cringe in despair, knowing my punishment was about to present itself.
My boss, Mary, came storming out of her office, her plump cheeks red in frustration as her eyes landed on me. “Sophie! You have some explaining to do. Why are you late to work, again? I ‘ought to fire your ass this time!” Her voice was strained and I swear I could see smoke starting to come out of her ears, her entire face becoming redder than a tomato. My face flushed in embarrassment.
“Mary, I had a rough morning and I would be happy to explain-“
She cut me off. “You?! A rough morning?! I don’t think so, sugar. I had to come in and open for you again! That’s twice in the last week. What is going on with you?”
“Mary, darlin’, give the girl a break.” I released the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding as Todd, Mary’s husband came walking out of the back room. He was my saving grace at this job. He always got Mary to listen to reason and to lighten up on the employees here, especially since the majority of them were students like me. “I’m sure she has a reason for her tardiness. She has a lot on her plate.”
Mary seemed to struggle to find words to say as she pointed at me, mouth gaping like a beached fish. Todd patted her back and gave me a sympathetic look as he led Mary to the back room to “do inventory.” My eyes closed as my body relaxed. The truth is, I just started my last and final year of college and things were messy. I’d been staying up all night trying to complete my assignments. It had been messing with my motivation and functionality. I’d been trying to keep up with my classes and my job, but it was proving more difficult year after year as my program gradually got more demanding. The easy thing would be to just quit the job.
But I couldn’t.
Ironically enough, it’s the only thing keeping my sanity. Only having school pushed my mental state into the dumps and I couldn’t take that again. Going to class, coming home, doing homework, sleeping, and repeat got old very fast. Never seeing new faces, never hearing or seeing new things… Nope. I couldn’t do it. Besides, every college student was in dire need of money and the job helped with that. I could afford my apartment and get food in my stomach and afford nearly fifty percent of my quarterly tuition. Yes, the small bookstore job could help me afford all of that.
The job was perfect for me in other ways too. It’s fairly laid back and quiet most days, allowing me to soak in the wonderful smell of books, old and new. I’m a huge book nerd and being surrounded by the tattooed dead trees made me happy. We also had some regular customers who were awesome. They usually got me a gift or two for the holidays in “exchange” for my homemade cookies. Over the three years of working here, I’d created my own little community to maintain my happiness.
I made my way behind the counter and fastened my nametag on the upper left of my shirt and dusted my hands off on my pants, taking in the surroundings to calm my panic. Three of the four walls of the squared building contained dark built in bookshelves from floor to ceiling, filled with books. The rest of the floor was lined with bookshelves, four rows across, ten shelves in each row with a large aisle in the middle, a few tables dotting the middle to show off the discounted books. The office where Mary and Todd mainly hung out was behind the checkout counter, while the back room was a long, skinny area in the back with a curtain as the door. I never really understood why it wasn’t more secured. The front of the store had big windows, letting in all the natural light with a few tables and bean bags in the corner for people to work and read as they pleased. Plants were scattered around that corner and the checkout counter. Along the ceiling, we had built in light sockets to provide mood lighting, creating a homey atmosphere throughout.
Some of the bookshelves looked askew and I frowned. We haven’t even been open for an hour and things are out of place already. I shook my head and made my way to the mini chaos located on the shelves and looked over the books. Obviously, the night shift is slacking on their job. I sighed audibly and organized the books by the author on the floor, alphabetizing the piles by the titles. I didn’t understand how some people still had jobs here when they’re so bad at their jobs. Although, I can’t judge too harshly when my job wouldn’t be secured without Todd. I’d been late one too many times these days to be considered reliable, but at least I did good work when I came to my shift.
Humming along with the quiet music playing, I got lost in my work. The smooth feel of the books on my fingers, the smell of the fresh, crisp pages, the motion of stacking becoming an addictive dance with my arms. My head started to bob slightly in beat of the music as I lost myself deeper and deeper into the pattern. Pick up, scan, stack, repeat. Pick up, scan, stack, repeat. Pick up… Why does this book feel so weird?
I moved my hand around trying to figure out why I wasn’t able to pick it up before I looked over and gasped in horror. The book wasn’t coming in my direction because it wasn’t even a book. It was someone’s foot in a shoe.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” I exclaimed suddenly, my hands covering my embarrassed blush. The stranger let out a deep chuckle and moved his feet back from my book pile a bit more.
“You’re fine. I was the one intruding on your… process here,” he said, glancing around at my little organized mess.
I cleared my throat and wiped my hands on my pants, standing up to meet the stranger. I looked up at his face and my breath caught in my throat. His face was chiseled, day old stubble gracing his incredibly sharp jawline. A small smirk matched the playful spark mirroring in his wide, dark green eyes, bordered by dark lashes girls would kill for. He crossed his muscled arms across his chest and tilted his head slightly as he looked me over. “I… I was j-just,” I stammered, flustered by the presence of such a good looking man while I was curled up on the floor. My cheeks flared up in heat and I earned myself another chuckle from the stranger.
“Just doing your job, Sophie?”
I blinked in surprise at the sound of my name off his full lips. “E-excuse me? Did you just say my name?”
Laughter erupted from the man as he bent over and shook his head. My embarrassment was slowly evolving into annoyance over his easy amusement of my current state. I cleared my throat and his laughter lessened. Dramatically, he wiped away some fake tears as he straightened his body back out. “Sorry, I should not be laughing at your frazzled state. But yes, I did say your name since it is located on your shirt and a more polite way to address you.”
I eyed him carefully, taking a step back. There was an unsettling feeling blossoming in my gut and it was becoming unnerving. This strange man seemed okay on the outside, but there was this mysterious, almost dark aura bouncing off him. I mentally shook my head, ignoring that feeling. I was just being weird.
I blinked a few times before noticing the strange man was awaiting an answer. My arms crossed themselves over my body to mask my discomfort. “Oh, yeah. Right. My apologies.” I offered a professional smile. “Can I help you find something?”
His gaze pierced through my invisible shield and he shook his head. “Nah, I came in here thinking I needed something, but something else has caught my attention,” he replied with a wink. Was this man… flirting with me?
Once again, my cheeks flushed, but for the first time during this conversation, it wasn’t from embarrassment. My gaze landed on my feet. “Oh? What would that be?” I forced my head to look back up to the stranger, who was a good foot taller than I.
A lazy smirk crawled across his lips as he undressed me with his eyes. I shifted on my feet, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed. “A cute little lady organizing books on the floor. So, Sophie. Would you be interested in accompanying me for a cup of coffee tomorrow afternoon?”
I couldn’t help but release a sarcastic laugh and eye roll. “I don’t even know your name.”
“Garrett, Garrett Franks. A pleasure to meet you, Sophie.” He offered a genuine smile and placed his hand out in front of him.
I eyed his hand a moment before meeting his gaze with my own, placing my hand firmly in his, giving it a shake. “Nice to meet you too, Garrett.”
His smile turned into a full on grin. “So does this mean I can expect you for coffee tomorrow?”
In a playful manner, my thumb and pointer finger curled into my chin as I paced away from him. “Hmmm…” My other hand made its way on my hip. After a few paces, I turned on a single foot and started making my way back in front of him. “Hmmmm…”
I could see the confusion and the anticipation on his face and body posture, his weight shifting between his feet. The smirk that crossed my mouth couldn’t hide itself as he began chewing on his lip. This tall, dark, and handsome stranger was basically putty in my hands and I loved that I could make him fidget. “Well?”
“Fine.” I stopped in front of him, my arms crossed across my chest once again, smiling at him. “On one condition.”
He tilted his head at me in confusion.
“I get to pay,” I said in a matter of fact kind of way.
Garrett laughed and nodded. “Fair enough. Meet you at Coffee Shack, say around noon?”
“Sounds like a plan!” I grinned and he gave me a sheepish smile, running his fingers through his tousled hair before giving me a small wave, working his way back to the front door. Garrett opened the door and stood in the doorway, glancing back at me as I stood in the middle aisle.
“See you tomorrow, Sophie.”
I nodded. “See you, Garrett,” I shot back quietly.
He gave me a final smile before walking out and down the street. Todd poked his head out from behind the back room curtain, giving me a suggestive look. I scoffed and threw a bookmark at his head. He laughed and ducked behind the hanging cloth. “Not nice to throw things at your boss, darlin’!”
“Well deal with it, old man!” I laughed in response and went back to organizing the books. It was great to have Todd around. Honestly, he’s much like a father figure to me. That’s probably why I still had a job here. Perfectly fine with me. It drove Mary a little insane, but she could deal with it. I didn’t plan on going anywhere for a while.
The music playing through the store filled my ears again and a smile remained on my face as I hummed along. I found the correct places for the books I had reorganized and started placing them back in their little homes. Today may have started poorly, but it definitely took a turn for the better. I even encountered two possible new friends, one of those friendships having the chance to turn into something more.
I’d never been one to have friends or boyfriends, even in high school. I never caught anyone’s attention. I did have one boyfriend back in my sophomore year, but he grew bored of my quiet habits and personality six months later. Maybe I’d finally have a chance to change that. The thought brought a warmth within my body and I wiggled happily. I knew Todd was watching me, but I didn’t care.
Nothing could take this feeling away.
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