Jackson and I had been arguing off and on for the past few days. He cheated on me with one of my best friends and I haven’t forgiven him, nor will I ever. I mean, she was my best friend for crying out loud! How could a person do something like that to me? To anyone?!
“What do you want me to say, Jackson?” I demand my (ex) boyfriend, tears streaming down my cheeks. “You went and slept with one of my closest friends, Jack! You were supposed to love me, dickhead! Is that so hard to understand? I’m your girlfriend, for god’s sake. You’re literally so stupid. You and Katy both are heartless monsters and I hope you burn in hell. I am fucking done with both of you right now. Do you seriously not know how much I loved you?! How much time and effort I put into our relationship. Trying to make you happy. Jackson, I adored you for everything you were. I loved it every time you kissed me. I believed it every time you told me I was pretty. But I guess you were whispering it into her ear, too, huh?” I spit, toxicity layering every word. I wait for him to reply and when he does, I want to punch that perfect face until it’s unrecognizable.
“I didn’t know you were on your way back,” he says lamely. “You told me that you were going out with your friends for the night.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You, what? Thought you could sneak her inside while I was out with my real friends to get you an anniversary gift? Did she know you had a girlfriend? That you were dating me!?”
“Well... yeah, she did, but-”
“Oh, my fucking god, Jackson. So, you decided, after everything that it was a good idea to sleep with her in my bed?? How stupid are you??” Through everything, through all the I Love You's, that still wasn’t enough for you? What did you need from me that I didn’t give you??”
“Oh, you’re one to talk,” he shoots back at me. “I saw you flirting with Fabien last night.”
“Wow, seriously? You’re making this about me now? We’re talking about how you slept with my best friend in my house. I was bringing you home a gift for our anniversary and this is what I get? And, for your information, I didn’t flirt with Fabien. I was talking to him about you. I wanted to know if he could help me with my algebra because someone was too busy “working” to call me back. So, don’t you start blaming me for something you know for a fact I wasn’t doing. The least you could do right now is admit what you did and leave me the fuck alone. We’re done, Jackson.” I say, finally ending the call.
After I hung up, my mind went blank. I remember sitting there, silently crying while I pulled at my hair, internally broken by what I saw. The memory will forever be etched in my mind.
**Chapter Break**
It’s been a few months since I blocked Jackson and Katy on all social medias. I was not ready to see them so soon...
There they were holding hands and kissing on a dark-oak wood park bench. Seeing them sends a shock through my body, making me sick to my stomach. The memory of him grabbing at her thighs and how she clawed at his back that night seemed vaguely familiar to this moment. Just... less intense and... disgusting. It was still revolting, but I managed to choke down my vomit, staring at them in disgust. I was frozen stiff, not being able to move an inch until Katy noticed me and spoke.
“Kota?” She asks, looking over his shoulder, smiling at something. The nerve she has by calling me that. Ugh!! Jackson didn’t seem to notice anything different about the situation, too consumed by his own lust for my best friend. He kissed her neck, causing her mouth to fall agape slightly in a gasp. She gently pushes him away from her skin, fighting her own desire for him, in order to bring her attention back to me.
“I see you both are getting along just fine then,” I say, crossing my arms looking at them. That’s when Jackson says something that feels like a stab to my heart.
“What do you want, Dakota?” He demands, glaring at me. I definitely ruined the moment, but I most certainly didn’t care.
Before I can respond, Katy interrupts me. “Kota,” she says again, which causes me to clench my fists. “I know you’re upset but-”
I cut her off. “Of course, I’m upset! You know perfectly what you were doing with him that night. What you’re doing with him right now. Really, what the fuck is wrong with you, Katy? We used to be friends! What the hell did I do to you?!” There goes my composure, shattered on the ground like a castle of glass hit by a meteor. “I literally don’t care anymore,” I continue angrily. “You can both go on making love to each other. Stupid bitch, you really thought I wouldn’t find out? I really don’t care about either of you anymore. I hope you get offed or something. I really couldn’t give a shit. What I do care about is how he fucking swore I was his. But I guess I wasn’t enough. That's where you came in, right? To be his bitch? Well, go for it. But once he finds someone else, when he breaks your heart, then you can tell me how it feels. How it feels to want to off yourself so fucking badly you’re sent to a mental hospital for your birthday. But until then, I suggest you shut your disgusting back-stabbing mouth.”
She doesn’t seem to be able to form any words and I scoff, turning away. Jackson was too shocked to say anything and honestly, I couldn’t care less.
“Dakota!” He finally manages. “Don’t you talk to her like that!”
“Go to hell, Jack,” I say, flipping him off over my shoulder. That’s when I feel freezing water hit my shoulders, causing me to gasp in surprise and throw my hands up into the air. I flip around to see the frightful girl standing there with shock across her face, like she was surprised by her actions.
“Did you seriously just dump water on my new clothes?” I scream at her, sounding like a spoiled child.
“I- uh... I’m sorry!” Katy says, backing away from me with fear in her eyes.
“You bitch!” I screech at her, launching myself forward, tackling her to the ground. I grab the metal bottle she used to pour water on me, and pound it against her chest as hard as I can, as she tries to pull me off her, sobbing and begging me to stop. I completely ignore her pleas, numb by my own pain and suffering. I eventually felt someone pull me away from her as I struggle to attack her again. Even when I was hand cuffed, I didn’t stop fighting, calling her every foul name in the book.
I finally give into my restraints as I feel a sharp pain in my side and a shock go through my body. I lay there, limp on the ground, not able to move. I look up at Jackson’s hands, bloodied by Katy’s chest, trying to apply enough pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding. I watched my ex-boyfriend as he tried resuscitating Katy. I could hear the cries from the crowd, and I look over, seeing her mother cry as she tries to fight the blockade of police officers. I could hear her sobs as she finally gives into the police officers, trying to calm her down and remove her from the scene.
I was still unable to move, and my vision was blurry, my hearing was shot, but I was able to make out something both ordinary and extra-ordinary at the same time. There, in the distance a little way away, I notice a girl around my age, and somehow, I knew I was meant to see her again. She had this aura about her, which unexpectedly calmed my anger. I was able to forgive Katy and Jackson, and I realized what I did, feeling guilty for what happened here tonight. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t stop crying. I knew what I became.
I was a monster.
