Why now
It’s only been two weeks since I had Attie and Emma how could I already be pregnant again I said to myself as I said on the corner of the bed when all of a sudden Jays and was on my hip.
“Nathan come to bed” Jay said
“I can’t” I said turning around sitting Indian style looking at him
“Why not” Jay asked
“When was the first time we had sex after Attie and Emma were born” I asked
“A week ago why ” Jay asked
“Because nesting is apparently something you do well your pregnant” I said when both of us sat in silence
“What do you think your pregnant again” Jay asked
“Mom said that after giving birth that’s when you’re the most fertile” I said
“Is that your way of saying think you are” Jay asked
“Mom thinks so, I definitely feel weird” Nathan said
“So that’s a yes, what if you are” Jay asked
“I don’t know” I said as I started to cry
Jay grabbed me and we both laid down looking at each other put his hand on my face and smiled at me wiping away my tears he told me a rollover he wrapped his arms around me we just laid there till we both fell asleep.
The next morning I woke up Jay wasn’t there but I heard something in the kitchen I walked out of my room to see my mom cooking breakfast with Attie and Emma highchairs and looked at the island there said Max, Tom with Tristan on his lap and then Siva who was next to Jess.
“Where’s Jay” I asked
“You went to store to pick up bacon and something for you” my mom said looking at me
I sat down next to just waiting till Jay got back it took a lot longer than I thought it would. Until Jay walked in the door with not only one back but four bags he dropped one off the kitchen and then walked the other three into our room. I followed him to the bathroom he pulled out to pregnancy tests and handed it to me than kissed me on the cheek and walked bathroom. I sat on the toilet thinking what if I am we already have to could we even handle another one when I heard Emma cry woke me up out of my thoughts, I stood up and grabbed a plastic cup off the sink and peed in it I only took two tests out why waste four when one will just probably work I sat there waiting when it was finally over that looks not to my surprise two pink lines I didn’t freak out I felt it coming which is sad but it’s true. I turned on the shower and got undressed and got in just think that’s what I do it take shower to think it helps keeps me calm I stood there with the water hitting my back and steam filling the bathroom I back up a little bit letting the water hit my head and ran down my face when I heard the door open it was Jay all he did was pee and then left I know he knew that’s what I loved about him eating get up my ass asking me all kinds of questions how I felt if I was okay I was freaking out he just left me alone to my thoughts till I was ready to talk. I started running out of hot water even warm water was going I didn’t feel like I had enough time but I got out of the shower anyway wrapped a towel around me and walked out of the into our room picked my favorite Jay shirt and put sweat pants on the list my hair wet and walked into the baby room I said on the rocking chair just watching all the baby sleep still thinking.
Two months later
I was showing already which I knew what that meant I was either pregnant with twins again are more Jamie me appointment today anyway so I’ll find out. Waiting in the waiting room on the nurse called my name, this time it was a different doctor but they know about my history. I sat down on the table and laid down waiting for him to use ultrasound when finally he did told me congratulations it’s twins. I wouldn’t say I was happy I wouldn’t say was unhappy I’m happy I’m pregnant but I feel like it was too soon to soon for all this I don’t even feel like being the father is already kicked in and now the thought of having to more lives to take care of it the shit out of me and on top of that I was supposed to go back to touring with the wanted again mom told me she’d take care of Emma and Attie but now she go back to doing that I have eight months the need to stay here till I give birth.
I'm sorry
if this is a little boring for you i wanted to get into his head
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