I’m woken up early by the sun shining through the curtains and it takes me a few minutes to get my baring’s. I try to settle back down, but for some reason my body has other plans, as I go turn over, I realise why as all the memories come rushing back in one smooth motion filling me with too many emotions to count. It takes me a few minutes to filter my thoughts and process that West is in my bed and that all of that was nearly ruined by Seth rearing his ugly head, I take a moment to steady my breathing before pulling myself gently into a sitting position at the edge of the bed, surrounded by the cool morning air. I’m to busy trying to search for a jumper or hoodie on the floor that I don’t noticed West slowly stirring behind me till he is stretching over and rubbing slow circles on my lower back.
“Morning babe.” West speaks sleepily, trying to stifle a yawn, which brings a slight smile to my face as I reach for the jumper next to my feet.
“Morning, did you sleep okay?” I ask politely, hoping he can’t sense the bubble of tension around me.
“Like a baby, how about you?” West asks, the mattress sinks a bit as he comes to kneel behind me, using the duvet to pull me toward him. I burst out laughing as the duvet engulfs us like a thick layer of snow.
“Yeah, I slept fine, had to get my baring’s a bit when I woke up, not used to waking up next to another human being.” I smile, relaxing into the warmth of being encased in the duvet and leaning against West’s chest for support. For a moment my thoughts are only of West and everything is peaceful until I remember that my mum will be back soon, and I should probably be downstairs and dressed for the day. I go to move away from West but his arm snakes around my waist in order to keep me still.
“I’m gonna have to go soon to get everything ready for our first date, but I just want to make sure you are okay after last night, didn’t want you to be stressing or anything.” I can feel the tension crawling up my back, and it momentarily takes my voice and the breath from my lungs.
“I don’t know what to say, yes Seth messaged me and it gave me a bit of a meltdown and if you hadn’t of come back. I probably would feel ten times worse. Thankfully though, you did come back and you stayed, now I’m happy and I don’t want to think or talk about it till after our date, okay?” I sigh, feeling bad for snapping but annoyed that West brought the topic up.
“Okay, I won’t bring it up again until you bring it up.” West replies with a slight smile, he leaves a few kisses on my neck before letting go of my waist and lifting the duvet from around us. I shuffle to the edge of the bed and steadily transfer into my chair as West pulls his clothes on. I wheel over towards my wardrobe, trying to avoid watching West as he puts his t-shirt back on.
I end up picking out a wrap shirt in baby pink with a brown floral pattern, skinny jeans and some baby pink flats, then I quickly tie my hair in a bun, before heading towards the bathroom to get dressed, not wanting to change in front of West just yet. After quickly changing and entering my bedroom again I head towards my dressing table and begin to apply my makeup for the day.
As I am busy applying my makeup in the mirror, I see West staring at me from his position on the bed, I gave him a quick smile before trying to concentrate on my eyeliner. West slowly gets up from the bed to come and stand behind me as his arms leisurely rest on the back of my wheelchair.
“You don’t need the makeup you know; you look pretty good without it.” West says watching me apply a mauve pink lipstick to my lips softly.
“Only pretty good, jeez thanks for the confidence boost babe.” I smirk, teasing him slightly. As I go to put my lipstick back in my overflowing makeup bag, West uses this to his advantage and wraps his arms around my torso, which I immediately relax into as I lean my head against his chest.
“What I meant to say was that you look gorgeous without it.” I feel West’s #breath on my neck as he goes to place a gentle kiss on my shoulder blade and I can feel the goosebumps appear on my arms as West continues kissing up towards my neck before stopping just below my ear and then he is gently turning my head to meet his lips. West places a few teasing kisses gently on my lips before applying slightly more pressure as the kiss intensifies. I pull back to motion to West that I need to turn my chair around which he allows me to do before placing his lips back on mine as his arms go around my waist softly. I steadily wrap my arms around his neck as my lips slowly part due to the pressure being applied. I unwrap my arms from his neck and as I’m about to reach for West’s t-shirt, the front door opens.574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemCGUyX2yQ
I quickly pull away from West, taking a few deep breaths and giggling softly before looking at West. His eyes are closed, and his facial expression tells me that he might be slightly annoyed, which makes me giggle even harder. After taking a few deep breaths, he finally opens his eyes to look at me.
“Your mum has really impeccable timing, doesn’t she?” West asks, a slight laugh hidden within his tone. I quickly make sure I look presentable in the mirror before replying.
“It definitely seems like she does, unfortunately. I now have to go downstairs and have a conversation with her, but don’t you have a date to organise mister?” I smile at him before heading towards the bedroom door.
“Yes, I do have a date to plan, are you gonna be okay if I go?” West asks me as we head out on to the landing, I try to ignore the underlying meaning as I try to give a reassuring reply.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine don’t worry, she should be okay this morning.” I smile and give West’s hand a quick squeeze before heading for the lift to meet him at the bottom of the stairs. Once I am in the lift, I gather my thoughts and by the time I have made it downstairs I possibly only feel slightly more relaxed about the prospect of spending the morning with my mum. I wheel over to West, who is waiting by the front door to say goodbye. As I get closer, he crouches down slightly to give me a soft kiss before smiling and he heads out the door as I head into the kitchen. The first thing I notice as I enter the room is the smell of freshly brewed coffee and slightly burnt toast, my mum is sat at the back door with a cigarette and it looks as though she is in a deep state of contemplation. I wheel over to the kettle and get everything for a cup of tea, and I grab a bowl out of the closest cupboard for some yoghurt and fruit. One good thing about having a disability in today's society is that you can get nearly everything adapted or changed in a way for it to be more accessible for me to be as independent as possible. After sorting my breakfast, I move towards the table and carefully try and eat without spilling anything down my clothes, and after a while, my mum comes out of her trance and starts a conversation going.
“Did West stay over last night? I thought I heard someone leave a few minutes ago.” My mum steadily moves from the back door to opposite me at the kitchen table, sipping her coffee before looking at me in an interrogative way, as per usual these days.
“Yeah, he let me decide and I said it was fine, we just chilled and had an early night. He left early because he’s planning our first date, which means once I go out, I won’t be back till between eight or nine. After all, I also have a group session at the community centre.” I say quickly, hoping the words with sink in this time, as well as crossing my fingers that they’ll be no more questions about last night as I really don’t want to relive the whole emotional breakdown over an ex and the jealous and angry guy that West became.
“Ok, thank you for telling me this time. Oh, that’s what I was going to mention, I ran into Rick Grover last night, he was having a meal with Hailey and we got talking like old times, apparently, Seth got broken up with a couple of days ago, Rick was asking after you as well, they both said they missed seeing you around and he asked how you were doing. I thought it was really nice of them and it just shows you how much more mature adults can be, doesn’t it?” My mum’s voice is just a fuzzy ringing in the background after her last sentence, I feel as though I have been pushed through the fog on a winters day and come out somewhere completely different, somewhere cold, unknown and empty of colour for so many different reasons that it’s becoming hard to understand why I’m there to begin with. I realise that I should probably reply but at this point, all I want to do is hide from life for a little while.
“Ah that must have been a nice little catch-up, and I’m glad you w
ere all civil, it’s a bit harder for me to act that way as Seth broke my heart and all that.” I snap as I quickly finish drinking my tea and head out of the kitchen, my vision getting more blurred as I head towards the lift. Once I know that my mother is no longer able to see or hear me, the tears begin to flow more freely as the lift door closes. After the lift ride, which seems to take longer than humanly possible, I wheel into my bedroom and close the door, blocking out the rest of the world, I go over to my vanity and stare at the stranger in the mirror. This morning there was a happy girl with a gorgeous guy making her smile, and now all that was left is a dishevelled shell off that happy girl as if they had been completely switched. I take a few deep breaths and begin to take my makeup off slowly, and as it gets wiped away, I take the time to try and see what West see’s in me, because at the minute I can only see a heartbroken too many times, someone with too many cracks on the surface, a girl with too many ghosts who haunt her day after day. After thinking all of the negative thoughts that someone like me could possibly think, I redo My makeup and I just manage to cheer myself up by reminding myself that, I am getting taken on a date by a guy who is incredibly hot and charming, as well as somehow being able to understand the crazy and hilariously unfortunate life I lead. Just as a go-to apply my lipstick for the second time in the space of only one morning, my phone alerts me to a text notification.
West: Hey, I’m setting off in 5 mins, so I should be with you in 10-15. Hope you were okay after I left, if not feel free to moan at me shortly, see you in a bit babe xxx
I smile at West’s message before looking at the time it was received and realising it was sent ten minutes ago. I quickly grab my handbag and rush downstairs and wait anxiously for West’s imminent arrival. I can hear the rough sound of the television on in the front room which is the only thing that alerts me to my mother’s presence in the house. As I am playing on my phone waiting for west to appear, I hear a car come down the drive and I’m confused till there is a knock at the door. I slowly wheel over and open the front door and smile when I see west stood there in a casual yet handsome outfit of a shirt and jeans combo. I’m about to shout through to my mum when she comes out of the living room.
“Oh, are you going now? It’s good to see you again West.” My mum comes over to us and I try to get my muscles to relax a bit more. West must sense the tension as he puts his hand over mine before replying to my mum, which I grateful for as I don’t trust my vocal cords much right now.
“Yeah I’m stealing your beautiful daughter away for the day, I hope you don’t mind Mrs White, and it’s nice to see you again too.” West replies, with a smile for extra measure, which makes me relax slightly, but then I cringe as I remember that my mum hates being called Mrs White, mainly because her and my dad were never married.
“I actually go by Miss Lawrence, Me and Effie’s dad were never married. Yes, that is fine, hope you have fun.” My mum nods and smiles before turning and walking towards the kitchen. I let out a soft giggle before closing the door and turning my wheelchair towards West.
“You may have just got on my mum’s bad side, that was like a car crash conversation if I’ve ever seen one.” I try to stifle my laugh, but it doesn’t work, and I end up giggling like an idiot. West try’s to look offended but it backfires and he ends up smiling and looking cute. I grab his hand and pull him towards me slightly, West leans down and places a gentle kiss on my lips before straightening up and speaking.
“It wouldn’t have been that bad if I knew what to call her, anyway, enough about your mum. I have our whole afternoon planned for our date if you’ll just follow me to the car.” West holds on to my hand as we make our way to the sleek black car that West arrived in. I stare in awe as he unlocks the car and a ramp appears on the passenger side for me to drive up onto and it’ll mean I can sit next to West in the front of the car. After staring for a good few minutes, I slowly and steadily drive up the ramp and park myself in the allocated position, West goes round to the driver's side and turns to look at me.
“Is this okay? I don’t know what you’re used to so I just hired the thing that would be easiest for me to figure out.” West says, worry etched across his face. Instead of using words, I carefully lift my hand in order to reach up and caress his face, as well as using it as slight leverage to move my face closer to his as I place a delicate kiss on to his lips. It must take him a moment to register what’s going on, but it isn’t long before he’s kissing me softly in return. As his hand moves up to stroke my cheek, I take to opportunity to pull back slightly and I try to form a coherent sentence or two to sum up my emotions.
“I am more than okay with this and I greatly appreciate you going through all the effort baby, no one has ever done something like this for me before and you have no idea how much you have improved my mood right now.” I glance at West in my peripheral vision as I finish my mini-speech and he must notice as he pulls me in for another kiss, accept this time it is slightly more heated as his hands snake around my waist and my hands grab onto his shirt in a frenzy of emotions and spasms. As I get control of my arms again, I manage to wrap them around his neck as we settle for a few more kisses before pulling away in a mixture of smiles and deep breathes. West finally starts the car and we set off to the unknown destination, as I’m gazing out the window, my thoughts are as blurry as the world passing by, West must notice my clear change in mood as he places his hand on my thigh and rubs slow circles to show me he’s there, even if I feel miles away.
I sit and stare out the window for ten minutes before becoming uncomfortable with the silence and I reach over to turn the radio on, but then I notice that I can play music from my phone with Bluetooth and I decide that is probably the better option as there will be fewer adverts, I then press shuffle on one of my many playlists and wait for the music to calm all my negative emotions and muscles. The first song that plays is one of Avril Lavine’s latest songs called Warrior, which is all about not giving up and fighting battles, which seems very apt for my current emotional state.
I'll pick my battles 'cause I know I'm gonna win the war (Win the war)574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI3r9DFfyt
I'm not rattled 'cause I shattered all of this before (This before)574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmycCKh2WVU
Steadier than steel 'cause I'm ready with my shield and sword (Shield and sword)574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0T3P6gKY5
Back on the saddle 'cause I gathered all my strength for more (Strength for more)
After that emotional rollercoaster of a song the next one that plays is called Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift, which as the lyrics I can’t help but sing-along too and the words catch me off guard by relating to me and West way too much.
My baby's fit like a daydream574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qXV3X5Nbs
Walking with his head down574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxyCE8Zqd4
I'm the one he's walking to574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvOcdWgYXs
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQHmmRyXq8
My baby's fly like a jet stream574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2xtFay3wp
High above the whole scene574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTwJgiyjMv
Loves me like I'm brand new574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1TyXxkUBt
So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to
“Your voice sounds really good, I didn’t know that you liked to sing.” West speaks up towards the end of the song and I smile back at him as I try and hide the slight blush that has manifested on my cheeks. West quickly squeezes my hand before focusing back on the road and after a few more songs, he announces that we have reached our destination. It takes me a second or two to take in my surroundings, I can see the aquamarine ocean in front of me and almost snow-white sand in a smooth layer, as they meet and blend together it almost looks like a watercolour painting instead of a beach on the outskirts of Righton.
“Wow… West, this is beautiful, how did you find this place?” I stare out of the window in slight awe, feeling as if I have been transported to the Caribbean or some other exotic place.
“I have been coming here for years, I found it when I was fourteen and beginning to get into surfing and all the normal beaches were either filled with trash or overrun with people and I was walking along one day when I saw an entrance for this hidden gem and its kind of been my place since then.” West explains, and I can see a sparkle in his eyes as he looks out towards the gentle flow of waves.
“Hang on, first of all, you surf? And how come I’m only hearing about this now and second of all, you are telling me that no one else uses this beach.” I gape at West before smiling at him with my eyebrows raised in question. Instead of giving me any answers he leans over and unclips the seatbelt before hopping out the car and opening the side door for me to drive my wheelchair out. As I drive off the ramp, I am hit by how smooth the ground is on my wheels and the smell of saltwater in the air. West quickly locks the car, not before grabbing a blanket and picnic basket from behind the driver’s seat. He then comes back to me and signals me to follow him as he grabs my hand. As we follow a natural path/slope down to the beach, I have to stop a few times to stop my wheelchair from skidding or toppling over, but once we are at the bottom I can see why it was totally worth the odd bump and skid as it really is a beautiful place. West slowly takes me over to an open cavern at one side of the beach, and I say slowly because my wheels kept getting stuck in the soft sand and each time West would have to help me get out by apply pressure to the back of my chair.
Once we reach the cavern, West lays the blanket down and places the basket down on top before coming over to stand in front of me.
“I thought we would have a picnic date, and I was wondering if you wanted to stay in your chair or if you possibly wanted to sit with me, it’s okay if you don’t want to but the option is there for you.” West looks at me through his eyelashes and I can sense his nerves, I pretend to think about it before giving my answer.
“I would very much like to sit with you, there’s no reason to be nervous West.” I state, smiling at him and thankfully he smiles back, he steadily undoes my lap belt and I wrap my arms around his neck as he supports my legs and back as he slowly lifts me up. West sits down first and then positions me between his legs, my back to his chest so I have support at both sides of me and his arms pull me as close as possible as they circle around my abdomen. Neither of us says anything for a few moments as we take in our surroundings and I get used to this position. West is the first to speak up, but he ends up whispering into me ear which sends shivers down my spine.
“Is this okay baby?” I place my arms on top of West’s before replying.
“This is definitely more than okay, this place is gorgeous and I’m actually quite comfortable, the only thing that would make this better is food.” I smile then feel West laugh as he untangles one arm from around me to pull the basket closer, before opening it and removing the contents. After he removes every item, I can make out chocolate gateau, strawberries, a few different sandwiches and some lemonade, as well as cutlery and straws, the plastic variety, which is good because the paper ones go soft after a few sips and aren’t useable after that. I look up and give West a smile before choosing what I want to eat.
After we’ve both sufficiently made ourselves feel full, I question West about his surfing background.
“It started when I was around fourteen, I had some issues at home and school and I needed something to keep me occupied when I didn’t want to be at home or needed to escape the pressures of school and soon enough it became a regular hobby to let some steam off and relax.” I feel West tense as he mentions home and his earlier years, I don’t pry any further and I relax into his chest, stroking the hands that rest on my abdomen. We both watch the waves as they gently crash against the land, before pulling away and heading back towards the cool sea.
“So now you know about my surfing hobbies, do I get to know about some of, your favoured activities as well?” West’s voice is playful but has a slight edge, I turn my head slightly to look at his face and see that he is already looking down at me and we both burst out laughing before he speaks up once more.
“It’s not that I don’t want you to know about my past of anything, it’s just that the only person who knows the full story is Tia and that’s because she is my boss as well as the person that fifteen/sixteen-year-old West confided in when there was no one else who would listen, but I am willing to try to tell some bits to you, because one, it's better you know now than when you meet my family and two, I don’t want you to hear anything from someone else and get the wrong impression.” West takes a breath before opening his mouth to continue and I take the moment to plant a gentle kiss on his cheek, to which he reacts by sitting me up further and kissing me on the lips softly and then he continues speaking.
“As a kid, I was always the odd one out in my family, my siblings were all into sports and athletics, but I would rather stay in my room reading or learning something new, which they all dealt with really well until I turned eleven. Because I spent a lot of time in my room, I didn’t notice that tensions were growing within my home and more specifically my parents. Once I’d started year six in primary school, I began to branch out and interact with the people around me, including my family, which was great for a while until the summer before I started high school. At the time I didn’t think much of what was going on, my older sister, who was sixteen at the time, wouldn’t spend time at home unless it was essential and my brother who was fourteen began to do the same, mum was out for work more than usual and dad was staying in more and was attached to either a glass or bottle by 4 every afternoon. I would be the only one who could stay around him when he started drinking and the tension of the household began to eat away at me for that whole summer till it changed me into a different person, I was moody and I snapped at everyone no matter what they said or did and slowly the family fell apart till my mum up and left with my brother and youngest sister who was eight at the end of the summer in the middle of the night without telling anyone apart from me.” West pauses and I can see the glimmer of tears in his eyes, I reach up and turn his face towards me.
“You don’t need to tell me any more, Thank you for starting but if it’s gonna hurt you to say anymore, it doesn’t matter, I like the you I know now and he is pretty amazing.” I give him a smile before leaning in to press a delicate kiss to his lips and as I do so his hands come to rest on either side of my face as he deepens the kiss, I manoeuvre my arms and place my hands on his abdomen as I move my lips to his neck and I hear a sigh escape from his lips as I travel over his collarbone. Just as I feel West move his hands towards my waist and his lips travel to my earlobe, we are both startled apart when his phone begins to ring and I pull myself away so he can answer it. He looks at the caller ID before taking a breath and then answering.
“Hey Tia, is everything okay?” West slowly moves me off his lap and places me next to him as he wraps one arm loosely around my waist and I lean against his shoulder.
“You want me to come in? I thought I was okay to have the day off, yeah I can come, I’m just in the middle of something and I have someone with me.” West looks at me and mouths sorry before answering something Tia says, I grab a piece of paper and a pen out of my bag and write him a note, it reads:
Just tell her the truth already, I don’t mind having to go there early, I’ll just sit in your office or whatever babe, I’m seriously not bothered xxx
I pass him the note and I can see him smile as he goes to speak again.
“Yeah, I’ll be there as soon as possible Tia, I’m currently on a date at the minute so I’ll be forty-five minutes or so. Yes, you did hear that right a date, and you will see who it is when we get there, won’t you? Okay Tia, see you in a bit.” As West put’s the phone down, I can see the smile on his face as he turns towards me and pulls me towards him, which basically ends up with my legs around his waist and my face being rather close to his. I smile up at him before continuing where I left off before we were interrupted. West kisses my neck before coming back to my lips and we let our mouths do all the talking for a few minutes before pulling away out of breath. West slowing gathers all our stuff and helps me back into my chair before we head for the car and begin our journey to the community centre. The journey back is filled with me singing to all the songs and laughing as West tries to join in as well, but as we get back into Righton my nerves appear out of nowhere and west has to hold my hand now and then to stop it shaking.
Once we’ve got to the community centre, my nerves have calmed down enough for me to drive and we go around to the accessible entrance and West knocks on the door and we wait for Tia to open it for us. After a few moments, the door opens and Tia appears in the doorway, just smiling at us.
“Sorry for spoiling the fun guys, it would have been okay had someone new not been interested in the group, but I need West’s help looking over a few things before they join us tonight.” Tia steps aside as me and West enter and I give a smile.
“It’s no problem Tia, don’t worry about it sometimes these things just can’t be helped.” I reply, not wanting her to feel bad about anything.
“Ok, well, I’ll let you get sorted or whatever, West come find me when you're ready.” Tia makes a quick escape by heading into her office as me and West head to his. When we get inside, I am suddenly hit by a wave of tiredness and West helps me get comfy on the sofa so I can have a nap while he works, he leaves me to find Tia five minutes later and I slowly slip into a deep sleep.
I am woken up an hour and a half later when I hear the office door open, I stretch my arms and open my eyes to find West sat at the end of the sofa scrolling through his phone, I steadily sit myself up and grab a drink of water from the table in front of me. after taking a few minutes to let me wake up, West moves closer and let me lean against his arm.
“What time is it?” I ask, feeling slightly delirious from the nap.
“It's half five, I tried to leave you asleep for as long as I could but I knew you’d need a chance to wake up.” I hear the smirk in West’s voice and I playfully punch him before locating my phone, once it is unlocked, I see that Annie has messaged me just before I woke up.
Annie: Hey Gurrrl, are you at group tonight? xx
Effie: Yeah I am haha, sorry I haven’t replied till now, I’ve only just woken up from a nap xx
Annie: Oh no it’s fine, have you had a busy day? Xx
Effie: Kind of, I’ve been on a date with West 😊 xx
Annie: WAIT What!!! You need to tell me everything, I’m so excited to see you now, setting off now, I’ll see you soon xx
I laugh at Annie’s antics before putting my phone on mute ready for group. Me and West chill for the next ten minutes or so, then I get back in my chair and we both head towards the main room. When me and West get there, Tia is already there and she appears to be in conversation with two people that seem familiar but I can’t figure out why until Tia calls West and me to introduce us.574Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XmD2h2EwA
“This is West, he is my apprentice but he also participates in most of the group sessions, and this is Effie, she also started this week so you might be able to help each other out a bit.” As Tia finishes her introductions, I look up and I can feel all the colour drain from my face, I can’t answer West when he asks me if I’m okay and I don’t pay attention to Annie coming towards us, because right in front of me is the guy who crushed my heart into a million little pieces, and all I can seem to do is turn around and drive out of the room like it's on fire.
