Ben251Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Sz61llLsA
July 5, 2005
251Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqDkzFh4xV
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Next day
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I hear her, calling to me. Begging me to return to her. I would if I knew how. I would do anything to be with her.
I remember the storm swirling behind her eyes. I remember the way her smile reminded me of the calm after.
I remember her wild hair, commanding your attention, as though it has a will of its own. I remember the dusting of freckles on her collar bone. I remember the way her body felt against me.
I remember every detail, but as hard as I try, I can't remember her name.
Was she even real?
Is this perfect woman simply a figment of my imagination?
I try to send out my thoughts. If you're real, please wait for me My Beautiful Hurricane. Please don't run away. I need to tell you something, but I can't remember what it is.
I know it's important though.
The blackness tugs at me, but this time it feels different. Instead of pulling me down, I feel like I'm floating.
Darkness still surrounds me, but now I hear whispers. Who's in here with me? Am I going crazy?
The voices surround me, assaulting me from all angles. It's overwhelming after so long with silence. I thought I would never hear another voice than my own.
I want to cover my ears to shield myself from their attack, but at the same time, I welcome the noise.
I can't make out what they're saying, but one voice stands out in particular, one that I know so well.
Something grazes my arm, I can feel again. I'm coming out of a deep fog and everything feels brand new.
My brain is filled with contradictions. After longing for simple things for so long, now I am fighting my body's impulse to reject all of it to retreat back to our safe place. The quiet darkness.
I ignore my stupid thoughts, as I try to wiggle my toes. I feel nothing.
I try desperately to move anything, but I can't tell if it's working. I try to speak or open my eyes, but nothing happens.
I hear the familiar voice again, this time it's right in my ear.
Who is she?
Another familiar voice drifts into my other ear. "Honey, please wake up. I can't lose you."
That would be my mother.
Now, what about the other voice? It doesn't make me happy to hear, a feeling of dread washes over me every time she speaks. But why?
More and more, I feel lighter, as though the spell I was under is finally wearing off.
I pry my eyes open, for only a second, as the light floods in, blinding me. I need to see what's happening, but it hurts.
I need to see if she's here, if she's even real.
Ignoring the commotion around me, I tune out the rising voices as I struggle again to fight my body. My eyes refuse to endure the blinding white again.
Open. 251Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwbqGY1gBF
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Come on, just open. I need to see her.
Again, the light fills my vision, but this time I let it. Wincing, I refuse to stay locked in my own mind any longer. I choose the cold reality beyond the confines of my dark prison.
It can't be worse, can it?
I was wrong, so very wrong. It can get much, much worse.
My eyes meet the woman who inexplicably makes me grind my teeth.
"Oh Joey! You're okay!" She clings to my side, placing wet sloppy kisses on my cheek.
Instantly, I want to punch her but I can't explain why. Who is she and why does she have this effect on me? Is this normal?
The next person I see is clinging to my other side, kissing the top of my head.
What is it about me that screams I want your slobber all over me?
Because I don't.
I try to move away from the blonde psycho, but of course, I can't.
Looking further around the room, I can see my leg hanging in some contraption. That can't be a good sign.
What the fuck happened to me?
Finally, my eyes meet the one person I trust most.
Nate.
I can tell his eyes are bloodshot from here and they seem to be watering pretty strongly.
What the fuck happened to him?
He stands, lingering at the foot of the bed. "You look like shit."
I try to laugh, or make any sound, but nothing comes.
"Oh my god, he smiled! He's happy to see me!" Miss Annoying is bouncing up and down, clapping like an infant.
Nate shoots her a look of pure hate, justifying my instant response to her. "Can you shut up? How's he supposed to get any rest with all the noise you're making?"
"Rest?" She scoffs. "He just woke up, duh. He slept for, like, ever."
Shit, I slept for how long?
I feel the panic rising up inside me. Where have I been? What did I miss?
My wild eyes meet Nate's, as he reads my mind. "It's only been a couple days."
I feel relieved, but I need to know more. I have a feeling he will understand, so I go for it, hoping I'm not crazy. "Where is she?"
Nate opens his mouth to respond, but he's cut off by my mother. "Where's who, dear?"
"I... Uh... I don't know." I didn't mean to be so honest.
"Well, dear, Samantha is here for you." She gestures towards the blonde that infuriates me.
Nate clears his throat. "Kat left."
I grab her name and hold onto it, rolling it around in my head. Kat. Kat. Kat. Why doesn't that sound familiar?
Nate is struggling not to laugh at me. What the hell? Is there something on my face?
"Is she like Beetlejuice?" Samantha's obnoxious laughter hits my ears. "If you say her name so many time she appears?"
Shit. I was saying it out loud?
"Where is she?" I repeat my earlier question.
Nate's face turns sour as his eyes bounce between my mother and blondie, before returning to me, filled with sympathy. "She, uh, didn't feel welcome."
"Baby. You just woke up, don't worry about her. I got you." She pets my head like I'm a fucking animal. God, I want to punch her, whoever she is.
I need my Hurricane.
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