Everyone arrived, some were dressed up, others were not.
“Wait, we’re in front of a building, but what is this place?” Pinkie asked, her head tilting in confusion.
“A parking lot,” Jeremy replied with a grin.
“Yeah, Pinkie,” Rose added. “On Earth, we use cars to get around.” Jeremy pointed to an automobile in a handicapped parking space. “This one right here is a 1995 Pontiac Aztek. And that car over there is a Buick Century. Next to that is a 1987 Mercedes-Benz E-Class, and that’s a Ford F-150, a Chevy S10, and a vintage 1977 GMC Sierra Grande.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “How do you know all these car types?”
“Because my grandparents have had one of each of these vehicles,” Jeremy explained, his pride evident. “Except the Ford F-150. Oh, and that car right there is a Cadillac Coupe DeVille. Behind that is a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost, a Ferrari, and a T-bird. These are cars I’ve seen before.”
“I love the burgundy of this Buick Century,” Spike chimed in, admiring the classic vehicle.
“Yeah, it’s nice, isn’t it?” Jeremy nodded. “I never had any of these cars. But here are some classic cars that I think are cool, like the DeLorean, the El Camino, the Chevy Blazer, a Mini Cooper, and a 1937 Ford Model T.”
“Wow, a DeLorean!” Pinkie exclaimed, her eyes wide with excitement. “Does it really go back in time?”
Jeremy chuckled. “Not unless you have a flux capacitor. But it’s a classic, for sure.”
Rose stepped closer to the cars, her eyes sparkling. “You really have an eye for cars, Jeremy. Are there any you’d like to have?”
Jeremy thought for a moment. “If I had to pick, I’d love to own a classic Mustang or maybe a vintage Corvette. There’s something about their design that’s just timeless.”
Rarity interjected, “You know, if you ever do get a classic car, you’ll have to make sure it’s stylish. No one wants an old clunker, right?”
“Right!” Jeremy laughed. “But the charm of these older cars is what makes them special, even if they’re not the flashiest.”
“Can we go inside the building now?” Spike asked, glancing at the entrance. “I’m curious about what’s in there.”
“Sure! Let’s head inside and see what surprises await us,” Jeremy said, leading the way as everyone followed, leaving the parking lot full of memories and dreams of classic cars behind.
“Oh, wait,” Jeremy said, pausing. “We’re waiting for a few guests, and Zack isn’t here?”
Rose rolled her eyes. “Call that bitch and tell him to get in here.”
She quickly dialed Zack’s phone. “Zack, Jeremy’s wondering where you are... He said to ‘call that bitch and tell you to hurry up.’”
Zack chuckled on the other end. “I’m bringing the delegates to meet everyone, asshole.”
Just then, 10 more people walked in.
Chrysalis looked around and then admired one of the cars. “I am loving the design of that El Camino. Didn’t they make a modern truck that looks somewhat similar, but different... the Cybertruck? Didn’t it fail spectacularly on stage?”
Jeremy nodded. “Yes, but let’s just say it’s working as it should now.”
At that moment, Cozy Glow appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. Unlike Chrysalis, whose spell was broken during her moment of realization, Cozy’s spell was broken by simply being in proximity to Chrysalis.
Celestia’s eyes widened. “How the—”
Rose smirked, “Darlin’, the word you’re looking for is ‘fuck.’”
“Thank you,” Celestia replied. “How did you break out of your prison as a statue?”
Cozy Glow cackled, her grin widening. “Are you kidding? When the former queen here was released from her spell, the crack spread and released me. Tirek is the only one still encased in stone.”
"Jeremy, you know Cozy, you're not an alicorn anymore. You're an earth pony," Jeremy said before firing a phaser blast, stunning Cozy.
Celestia blinked in surprise. "Okay, that was awesome. She didn’t even see you coming because that phaser looks like some kind of wand or—"
Jeremy interrupted, "No, more like a TV remote."
"Now, what to do with ol' Sleeping Beauty over here?"
Rose walked over and grabbed Cozy Glow by the neck. "Listen here, you thought you could have everyone as a friend, but it doesn't work like that."
Cozy, frustrated, protested, "But why not?!"
Jeremy stepped forward. "Not everyone’s gonna like you, Cozy. It’s just nature. Trying to make everyone like you by force? That’s evil. Forcing people to like you, or else, is no better than manipulation or brainwashing."
Cozy paused, thinking for the first time. "...I never thought of that."
Rose, softening her tone, said, "I understand you want friends, but you need to be a friend to have a friend."
Cozy looked defeated. "Okay, but how do I be a friend if I don’t have... ya know, a fucking friend?"
Rose smiled gently. "You have to show someone that you’re likable, that you genuinely want to be their friend."
Jeremy chimed in, "As a former introvert, I found it hard to make friends too. I was made fun of because of my blindness and health problems. They called me 'Water Fountain Face' because I had to drink water constantly, and 'Dillagay' because of my voice, which sounded androgynous. It wasn’t until after high school and college that I made permanent friends."
Cozy asked quietly, "How did you deal with such crushing loneliness?"
Jeremy replied, "I wasn’t truly alone, Cozy. I had one or two real friends at school who really helped me out. And, as someone who believes in God, I also believe we’re never truly alone. As a Christian, I believe God can help us if we just ask. All of your former friends have accepted Jesus as their Savior."
Pinkie nodded, adding, "It's true."
Jeremy explained everything to Cozy, just as he had to the other ponies, and Cozy began to understand. "I think I get it," she said.
Rose smiled warmly, "Hey, Cozy, I’ll be your friend."
Cozy looked surprised. "You will?"
Rose nodded. "You can come stay with me, Jeremy, and Chrysalis."
Chrysalis chimed in, "Cozy, when we were working together, I could see you needed help—mental help—but I was too focused on revenge. I've made friends with Jeremy and Rose, and I’m not the mad, vengeful queen I used to be."
Cozy sighed, "Well, gee, if you can give up your vendetta, so can I."
Jeremy smiled. "That's the spirit, Cozy."
Chrysalis placed her foreleg on Cozy's back, showing camaraderie. "Listen, Cozy, you look hungry."
Cozy nodded. "I am... you could say it’s been three moons since I had anything to eat."
Just then, Zack arrived with the rest of the delegates, along with Ben Sisko.
Twilight said, "Wow, Cozy. Rose is taking a big chance on making you her friend and letting you live with them. Make sure you thank her and help her whenever you get the chance."
Cozy nodded, her harsh, evil smile replaced with one of pure elation. "Gosh, Twilight, I will. I will."
Cozy looked around. "So, what is this place?"
Jeremy smiled. "This is Paramount Pizza Palace, a place from my childhood. They have a large pipe organ with bells, whistles, and other instruments. But they also make damn good ice cream, especially spumoni and bubblegum ice cream."
Everyone walked in, marveling at the surroundings.
Lwaxana exclaimed, "Oh my, this place is beautiful!"
Jeremy grinned. "Yes, it is. Wait until you hear the music playing."
As they entered, the song "Believer" by Smash Mouth was being played on the organ. They were led to a banquet-style table near the piano. Jeremy tapped the organist on the shoulder, and he nodded in acknowledgment.
Everyone’s eyes wandered, taking in the grand scenery.
Applejack whistled. "Wow, this place is huge! There's even a second balcony!"
Rainbow Dash, wide-eyed, added, "Yeah, and look at all those pipes coming out of the pipe organ!"
Here's a revised version that enhances clarity and flow while keeping the essence of your original text:
The organist played seven other songs before the ones Jeremy had scheduled, the first being the tune to Super Mario Brothers 2. Jeremy beamed as nostalgia washed over him, reminding him of playing it on both the NES as its own game and the SNES as part of Super Mario All-Stars.
A waitress approached their table. "What would you like to drink?"
Jeremy replied, "How about a pitcher of root beer, a pitcher of Mountain Dew, and a pitcher of Barq’s Red Cream Soda?"
She nodded, then asked, "And what would you like to eat?"
Jeremy quickly ordered, "One deluxe pizza, thin and crispy; one veggie lovers; one meat lovers; one cheese pizza; one pineapple and ham; and one full Hawaiian. Actually, make that two of each. We have 20 people in this party."
He leaned in and added, "Psst, guys, don’t load up on breadsticks. You won’t have room for the main course."
Moments later, the pizzas arrived, and Jeremy announced, "Let’s everyone get what they want."
Crysalis grabbed a piece of the thin and crispy deluxe, crunching into it with a sound that could wake
"Damn, that is some crunchy pizza!" she exclaimed.
"Jeremy, you're going to want a napkin," he said as he poured himself a glass of root beer. Meanwhile, everyone else was passing out the drinks. Cozy Glow noticed the Barq’s Red Cream Soda and was intrigued.
"That’s some good stuff, Cozy. You might want to give it a taste first," Jeremy suggested.
Just then, he spotted Pinkie filling her glass to the brim with Mountain Dew. "Pinkie, I would sip that slowly. It's very caffeinated. Your body isn't used to caffeine; it might have an adverse—"
But before he could finish, she downed it in one gulp and let out a massive belch that shook the table.
“Jeremy finished his sentence. ‘Ahem, effects, Pinkie? What were you saying?’
Rose chimed in, ‘He was saying that Mountain Dew is full of caffeine, which makes you energetic. Too much can give you the jitters and keep you awake at night. Your pony physiology isn't used to it. He was also saying it could have adverse effects.’
Pinkie shrugged, ‘Oh. I'm not worried.’
Jeremy replied, ‘Ahem, famous last words…’
Rarity laughed, snorting root beer everywhere, which made her feel embarrassed.
‘Don’t be embarrassed, Rarity; it was in good fun,’ Jeremy reassured her.
Applejack took a bite of her pizza and said, ‘Man, this pizza is different.’
Jeremy explained, ‘That’s a meat lovers pizza. See if someone will switch it for a veggie.’
Sisko switched her meat lovers pizza with a veggie lovers and took the meat lovers for himself.
‘Applejack, you might find that pizza more to your liking. And you might have to rip and tear into it!’ Jeremy added with a grin."
Here’s a revised version that keeps the playful spirit while ensuring it's appropriate:
“Jeremy, would you two shut your pie holes? Pizza pie, that is!” Jeremy quipped. “Boom! Got ya both—two for one!”
Pinkie laughed, “Oh, he’s good!”
Applejack added, “Yeah, a bit too good.”
Jeremy waved them off. “Oh, come on! Y’all have never roasted each other in fun? Like Zack teasing Rose about her big head and her big… well, you know. Or Rose saying she’ll ‘jack him up.’ Watch this! Zack, yo mama’s so short she makes out with Lego minifigures! She’s so old her baby pictures are in black and white! She’s so clueless she tried to wake sleeping pills!”
Zack chuckled but replied, “Jeremy, are you sure you want to go there? If you’re feeling froggy, then jump! Remember the last time you tried this?”
“Yes, I do,” Jeremy shot back. “The one about yo mama being so nasty? You’re just sick in the head, Zack. Mine are all in good fun; yours are just… well, a bit much!”
Rarity looked curious. “What was the joke?”
“Not at dinner!” Jeremy replied, shaking his head. “I don’t want you all getting sick to your stomach. Trust me, it was pretty gross. But it’s okay—I got even. I compressed his rubber chicken so hard that he didn’t realize it was sitting in his walker until he got up. It nearly screamed so loud it was like it was in a horror movie!”
Here’s a revised version that keeps the essence of the conversation while ensuring it's appropriate:
Twilight said, “I was listening to some of the old Starfleet archives and came across some Bob and Tom albums.”
“Oh no,” Jeremy replied, chuckling. “They sure do laugh a lot, even if I didn’t always get their jokes.”
“As a kid, I liked them,” Jeremy continued. “But toward the end of high school, I lost that sense of humor. It’s a lot of potty humor and innuendos. Trust me, it’s good you don’t understand their comedy. Some of it is pretty tame, but others? Just outrageous—like, Ronch City!”
He shook his head. “I mean, they took the Beach Boys’ song ‘Kokomo’ and rewrote it to be about a certain body part. It’s cringeworthy now. As I’ve evolved in my faith, I find their skits revolting. I do like some of their artists, though—like Heywood Banks. He’s clean. Tim Wilson and DeVenchi’s Notebook are a mixed bag. ‘Another Irish Drinking Song’ is pretty funny, but that’s about the tamest thing I can find from them.”
Twilight said, “Yeah, they started playing a song called ‘Internet Porn,’ but I skipped that. It was pretty bad. However, I did hear that song ‘100 Things a Man Needs to Know.’ That was pretty good! I had to use the computer to explain some of the references.”
Jeremy groaned, “Please tell me the computer didn’t play—uh, never mind. I can’t bring myself to say it in present company. Let’s just say it starts with ‘scr’ and rhymes with ‘modem.’”
Zack chimed in, “You mean scr...—”
“Damn it, Zack! I was trying not to say that around them!” Jeremy exclaimed.
“Why you going soft, bro?” Zack teased.
“Boy, shut up and eat your pizza before I have to deal with you!” Jeremy shot back. “You delicate piece of—well, let’s just say I have some colorful names for you!”
Zack laughed, “Shut the heck up, Jer! Look at you, the dancing bear!”
Rose added, “Seriously, kick him!”
Thanks for the clarification! Here’s the revised scene with those adjustments:
Jeremy was sitting across from Zack and kicked him in the shin. Zack jumped up, hobbling and shouting, “Ow, ow, ow!”
Jeremy grinned. “That reminds me, what medicine does a pig use? Oinment!”
Zack groaned, “Boo! Boo!”
“Shut up, Zack!” Jeremy exclaimed. “You Jackanapes!”
“Oh, look at me! My name’s Zack, and I like to say the words Jeremy's trying not to say so we can be classy!” Zack started to rabble, and everyone burst out laughing.
“Truce, man,” Jeremy said, holding up his hands. “We’ve been jokingly at each other’s throats for too long.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Zack replied, chuckling.
Once everyone had finished eating their pizzas, Jeremy said, “Come on, guys, let’s get ice cream!” He led them to the ice cream parlor. Having had a pretty healthy day, he opted for a double scoop of peppermint gelato.
After taking his cup back to his seat, Jeremy devoured it in six minutes flat. Everyone else picked their favorites, and soon enough, the piano began playing “Baby, I Love Your Way” by Peter Frampton. Jeremy grabbed Rose, and they started dancing by the piano while people clapped along.
Suddenly, the piano transitioned into “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey. Pinkie exclaimed, “How do they get the organ to play other instruments? How does it play the piano and electric guitar?”
Jeremy shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe they have piano and guitar strings hidden behind the organ somewhere!”
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