Ben262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySdoaA2ff8
July 5, 2005
262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQklACqUPc
*
Same day
*
I dreamt of her again, my Beautiful Hurricane. I asked her, no begged her, to stay with me but she blew away like a breeze. Like she never existed.
And now that I'm awake, she's not here either. Where is she? Is she real or is everyone just playing into my delusion? Just afraid to tell me that I'm crazy.
Maybe I am crazy.
But I can't help but feel a deep connection to her, real or not. She helped me get through the darkness. She's the reason I held on when all I wanted to do was let go.
Man, I really hope she's real.
262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmI2if3NvMr
Movement from the corner reminds me that I'm not alone, I'm never alone. Looks like it's Cole's turn for guard duty.
Glancing around, I see Miss Annoying has finally left. Thank fuck. Maybe she finally took a hint. She's not wanted, needed or welcome.
"Looking for someone?" Cole smirks at me, like it's an inside joke I'm not a part of.
"Uhh..." I test out my voice, but my throat is still pretty sore, so I just shake my head.
"If you say so."
Nodding, I cross my arms over my chest and close my eyes. Most people leave me alone to sleep when I do that.
Instead, Cole moves closer, sitting on the bed next to me. Fucking Cole. He's not going to leave this alone.
"Are you maybe looking for your blonde tormentor?"
I glare at him.
"Or could it be your wild haired lover girl?"
I can feel my eyes pop out of their sockets, but I can't help it. I've never told anyone what she looks like since I woke up. I've barely said anything at all, mostly just written the bare necessities.
Does this mean she's real?
"Kat?" I manage to croak out. I sound so fucking weak.
"Yeah, wasn't she here last night?" His eyebrows furrow together in confusion.
I shake my head, unsure of what else to do.
"That... doesn't make sense." He pulls out his phone, frowning down at it.
Shrugging, I try to ignore the disappointment. Did she get here and see me, then run away?
I grab my marker board, scribbling as quickly as possible.
Mirror.
Cole looks at the board and then up at me, confusion all over his face. So I add more to clear things up.
Get me a fucking mirror.
"Oh, uhh... Just a sec." He scurries around, digging through drawers.
"There you go. Enjoy your ugly mug." He hands me the mirror and I barely resist ripping it from his hands.
My face is black and blue. Honestly, it looks worse than I thought it would. There's a a small line of stitches above my left eyebrow and my left cheek. There's also a long line of them across the top of my chest.
My hair is completely gone. I can't ever remember seeing so much of my scalp before. It's a strange feeling to see yourself in a mirror and not recognize the person looking back at you.
All I can think is how much I look like Frankenstein's monster. No wonder she ran away.
Discarding the mirror in my lap, I erase the board and Cole stares at it, chewing on his bottom lip. He's clearly nervous, but why?
Where's Samantha?
Cole gives me a funny look. "I don't know, she said she had something to do and just left. On her own. But she was really cheerful. Totally freaked me out, dude."
Okay, so that's not the reason for his nervous energy. I decide to go for a more direct approach. Who knows how long we have before someone else shows up?
What did you do?
His eyes widen, telling me he is, in fact, hiding something. As a fucking genius, you think he'd be better at masking his emotions.
"Uh... well... I'm not sure what you mean?" He rubs the back of his neck, a clear indicator that he's been caught. Come on, Cole, just spill the beans already.
Tell me.
I keep my eyes stern, hoping he gives in. He's usually pretty quick to cave, but sometimes he can get stubborn, depending on the issue.
He laughs nervously, continuing to rub the back of his neck. Oh shit.
I add to the board.
Now.
"Okay, okay." He holds up his hands in surrender. "But promise me you won't get mad."
I can't.
He sighs loudly. "Fine. Okay, so I know you want to see Kat, but you can't exactly call her." He motions to my bed, like that explains it.
I nod, while inside I'm screaming fucking hurry up before I strangle you.
Apparently he sees it in my eyes because he gets fidgety. "Well, I did it for you."
He did what?
I grab the marker, writing furiously before thrusting the board into his face.
You did WHAT?
"I- uh... well... I called Kat. And I told her that you really wanted to see her and that I would take care of Samantha."
What does she have to do with Kat?
"Well, I'm pretty sure she's the reason Kat's not here. Don't you remember?" He looks at me like he feels sorry for me and I'm so fucking sick of that look.
I shake my head furiously.
No.262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCPocMp1kk
No. 262Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OOdYnyab5
No.
Of course I don't remember. If I did, I wouldn't have fucking asked.
"Well, you dated Samantha in highschool." He looks hesitant, like he doesn't want to tell me, but I already knew that.
I nod, since Nate's already mentioned it, not because I actually remember it happening.
"Okay." He looks relieved. "And she broke your heart."
I nod again, slowly, but this part is new. This explains why I can't stand seeing her.
A few images flood into my mind, flashes of her with another man. The pain I felt, the sadness, the utter brokenness I felt.
Then a flash of Kat's beautiful face appears, just for a second. Just like that, everything I just felt is replaced by nothing but disgust for that terrible human being.
Now I definitely want her gone.
I realize that didn't really answer my question though, so I underline my previous question.
What does she have to do with Kat?
"Oh right, sorry. Looked like you needed a second there to process. Anyway, you and Kat started dating or maybe you were broken up at the time, honestly I'm not sure. You guys are a little confusing. But Samantha came back and tried to blackmail you to break Kat's heart."
We broke up? Why would we break up? I love her. Doesn't she love me?
Wait, what? Blackmail? Why? How?
Now I don't just want that bitch gone, I want to-
I clutch my head as the room begins to tilt and sway around me.
Fuck.
I squeeze my eyes closed, but I feel the mirror slip out of my lap. I hear it shatter as it hits the ground.
"I think this was too much for one day." Cole slips into his professional tone and gone is my brother.
There goes my chance of getting more answers.
"Drink some water and get some rest. I'm going to go speak with your doctor real quick. Be right back." He presses the nurse button near my head and rushes out the door.
I stare at the broken glass, imagining its my life right now, reduced to pieces scattered across the floor. It's going to take forever to piece it all back together and it will never be what it once was.
Guess I have seven unlucky years to work on it.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
