Two days later, we ran into some orcs - specifically, mountain orcs, riding on sturdy ponies who looked like they could chew rocks for breakfast. The mountain orcs were taller and broader of shoulder than Ailsa's wood-orc kin, and they favoured short recurve bows - the better for shooting down wyverns, so their leader, Fidgug, explained as we sat around the campfire that night. "Wyverns are bastards," Fidgug said, nursing a wooden tankard shaped disturbingly like a wyvern's skull. "They've got themselves a fancy for mutton, and we're the best sheep-breeders known to any kind. It was forest elves who taught us how to shoot, and we've got trees in our mountains which produce the best yew you've ever seen. I've got some staves I want to trade. Lanlanor, you keen?"
"I'd be honoured," Lanlanor said, smiling. "My bow has seen better days, truth be told. I might have something in my saddlebags I can trade for a stave. Hold on." 134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVrumD0c51
As he hurried off, Ailsa posed a question that'd been clearly burning in her mind ever since we'd met the band. "You're a long way from home," she said. "What happened? Orcs aren't keen on giving up their territory without a very good reason."
Fidgug sighed. "Your friends, can they be trusted?" he asked bluntly. "I don't say this to be mean. But we were stabbed in the back by spies, so I'm treadin' my ground real careful like."
"I trust each member of this party with my life," Ailsa said.
Fidgug nodded, waiting until Lanlanor had returned with a pouch of tabac. A yew stave was handed over, with Fidgug commenting on the fineness of the leaf as he tucked it away in his leather scrip. "Who's the name of your dealer?" he asked with a smirk.
"I helped a friend some time back," Lanlanor said with a shrug as he resumed his seat. "That friend gifted me with some tabac in return, but my pipe broke, so I've had no use for it. If ever I can acquire another pipe, I'll be sure to return to my friend so I can put more of his tabac to use."
Fidgug nodded. "Friends are hard to come by," he agreed, his good mood fading as he addressed Ailsa's question. "We were stabbed in the back," he said without preamble. "Pardons, Princess, but it was some of your kin as turned around and fucked us in the arse, pardon my language."
"What?" Ailsa went sheet-white with shock. "Every orc ever born is bound by the geas King Xuthakug swore when he declared his people would no longer serve the dark elves as their muscle in the ongoing wars which plagued this world five thousand years ago. No orc - or half-orc, even - would be able to turn on that geas without it wrecking them from the inside out!"
"Someone found a way around it," one of the she-orcs grumbled. "Some dark elves came to our home two days ago, promisin' they'd forsaken their ways, and that they wanted to live their lives as free beings, without bein' controlled by their distant master." She sighed. "Bloodthirsty bastards then used their dark magics to corrupt our youngest, who then contacted a band of forest orcs who'd been likewise subjugated."
"Short story, we were fucked," Fidgug said, taking up the thread of the story. "We were driven out and run down like animals in the streets. It was a damn near thing; we'd have otherwise been exterminated. The head honcho didn't want word gettin' out, but we're the slipperiest little fuckers the world's ever known, and we ain't entirely without power ourselves. We don't go for magic, but that don't mean we can't ask Mother Mountain for help, and she fuckin' did so in spades."
Lanlanor shot Khithran a look. The former prince shook his head, and a subtle tension left Lanlanor's shoulders. Fidgug raised an eyebrow at this, and Khithran explained his leaving Chaingad and sending his compatriots to join the night elves until such time as the dust settled at home. "I've had contact with them since," he wrapped up. "They've reached Shadowgate safely, and so far have remained un-gelded."
Fidgug eyed him thoughtfully. "Don't hold with your people's creed, I take it?"
Khithran shook his head. "Not a bit of it," he said. "Mother is a fantatical devotee to our master, but I don't agree with her ways. My friends and I knew it was time to leave, and Ashton's arrival to our home provided us the impetus we needed to take our first step towards freedom."
The she-orc raised an eyebrow. "Bold move, stripling," she commented. "You know, I could use a male in my blankets tonight."
Khithran, to his credit, took her proposition in stride. "Madam, I would be honoured," he said, rising and bowing deeply. "Have you such inclinations on you now?"
"You're brave," the she-orc said, taking his hand. As she got to her feet, she added, "I admire bravery and boldness. I'm Ushat, daughter of Shel. You can warm my blankets tonight, stripling, and let us see if you're as bold with your actions as you are with your words."
As they walked off, I whistled softly in admiration. "How did you know?" I asked Fidgug.
The orc leader shrugged. "We may be brutes, but we have hearts," he said. "You created us to be dumb muscle, but we learned the genlter ways of life when the first decent elves came to us after they'd broken loose from their masters. So I knew Ushat would be the one sure way to get your princeling to see the light in a way that will definitely snap his chains. If his friends have sense, they'll have let their hosts deal with them likewise."134Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3WFu6yvVz
"You're more than what your appearance suggests," I said with a rueful smile. "Then you know of my plan to dissolve my weapon?"
"Just now," Fidgug said, chuckling. "But I also know the dark elves are bound to that weapon. Dismantling it dismantles them. Yon princeling either knows more than what he's letting on, or he's that shit-scared of losing his life. My money's on both, to be frank, but let's be fair; the world's fallin' apart at the seams. You created a nasty reputation, friend, and those who ain't got rocks for brains are runnin' scared, wonderin' just when they're goin' to get fucked in the arse."
"Well, they're not," I said. "Just as soon as my friends and I reach Avalon, we can petition King Calimero to remove the darkness from me, so that I can continue on in this world after my weapon has been returned to the unmatter from which I first created it."
"You should make it public," Fidgug suggested. "I'm not sayin' out yourself. But make a big show of it, let 'em know you and your legendary band of heroes found the Eternal Consumer and fucked him in the arse. That way, the world breathes a collective sigh of relief, you get to dismantle 'his' weapon, and then everyone can go home and make loads of babies."
I smiled at this succicnt summary. "That, my friend, is a capital idea," I said.
Fidgug shrugged. "I ain't stupid, and I sure as hell weren't born yesterday," he said. "The world might be goin' to hell, but it's still my world. No little grubber with delusions of grandeur's goin' to fuck it in the arse, not while I've still got breath in my body."
"Then come with us," Ashton suggested. "Ushat can come along as well if she so desires."
"Why the hell not?" Fidgug agreed. He conversed briefly with the rest of his band in their own language, and once agreement was reached, he addressed Ashton again in the common tongue. "Deal," he said. "Ushat won't let her little princeling out of her sight in any case. She lost her mate in the raid that drove us out of our home, and she's not lettin' a fresh chance at happiness slip her by. Besides, we've never seen a mating between orc and elf before. I'm kinda curious as to how such a mating's gonna turn out."
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