14. Captain Catastrophe
I hit the ground with a large booming sound, and naturally, it hurts. Damn it. But it doesn't feel like I broke or majorly damaged anything, so I jump to my feet and face the villain. His face is the epitome of shock and slight amusement. Damn it that was an entrance. Very... er... original. Yep, I doubt anyone has ever arrived on the scene quite like this before.
He gives me a stare of total confusion and I see him bite his lip in an extreme attempt not to laugh. "What the..."
Because I can't think of anything better to say, I point at him and say the first and only syllable of the word 'you'. He gives me a sideways glace.
"Me."
I nod. "You."
He gives me a perplexed look. "Right... listen, kid, I have no idea what you're doing or why on earth you just fell from the sky, but," he swallows a fit of laughter before continuing, "I'm busy robbing this bank, so..." A new and highly entertaining thought must have crossed his mind because he pauses for a second before giving up and bursting into hysterical laughter. "Oh, my, god. You're gonna try stop me, aren't you?"
Not thinking of any better response, I nod, further fuelling the flames of his laughter.
"Oh, good god, he is such a moron," he says, and I give him a sideways glance, wondering who he is talking to. "Look at this idiot, trying to be a superhero! Doomed, I tell you!"
"Er..." I awkwardly cough and he looks back my way. "Just curious... but... who are you talking to?"
He looks at the ground, in what I assume is embarrassment. I nervously laugh. "Are you... talking to yourself?"
"Hey!" He cries in outrage. "It's just a habit of mine, so, shush."
I giggle at the anger etched into his face and, feeling slightly more confident than before, I daringly compose a retort. "Oh, okay then. How about I drop you off at a mental hospital after I kick your ass, then?"
His face screws up in even more intense anger, reminding me of a pissed YouTube ranter. "F*#K YOU! I don't need to go to a mental hospital, but you will, after the brain damage I'm gonna give you, punk!" He raises his fists and runs at me. I quickly look around for a weapon. There's several upturned cars... but they won't be of much use, as to the best of my knowledge, I can't lift a...
Wait, can I? I haven't tried. Hmm. I run to the nearest one and grab it by the bonnet and lift, hoping this will work and I'm not left standing here like a retard. Surprisingly, I manage to easily lift it over my head. Yes! But there isn't time to fully celebrate, because he's almost on me. I quickly throw the car at him and he reflects it with some kind of force field thingy. Damn it!
He laughs at me. "What, did you think a car would hurt me?"
I shrug and we circle each other as he shoots me metaphorical daggers with his eyes. "It probably would have, if you had let it hit you."
"The point is, it didn't." He growls in frustrated anger, and, if I look closely enough, I'm pretty sure I can see froth spilling from his mouth. Has he got rabies or something? Good god, I hope he doesn't touch me. My phone starts to ring, and he gives me an annoyed look. I give it a quick glance. Julia. Shit, she's probably mad at me for flying off.
"Can I quickly take this?" I ask and, rudely not even bothering to consider my request, he leaps at me, swinging his fist around in prime decking position. Too bad it's me that he's trying to hit. I duck and blast as much electricity that I can muster into his chest, hoping I'll get lucky and this fight willend prematurely by him having a heart attack. Not a chance. He stumbles and falls back, before swearing and leaping at me again, his arms posed in the perfect grabbing position, just like a pro wrestler.
"You can't stop me!" he yells, landing on top of me.
"Why not?" I ask, swinging an electricity infused fist at his face and grinning as it connects, sending him flying backwards into the pavement.
"Because," he picks himself off the concrete and swears at me. "I am Captain Catastrophe."
I burst into laughter. He must be kidding. "Wait... what did you just say your name was?"
"CAPTAIN CATASTROPHE!" he roars, his face growing bright red from the exertion.
"Nice alliteration, but..." I continue to laugh, trying to keep myself from growing hysterical. "No offense, but... that's the lamest thing I have ever heard."
"F*&K YOU!" he yells, louder than a crazed drug addict, before raising his palms and throwing one of his shockwave things at me. I leap into the air and fly over the top of it, landing behind him and blasting a bolt of electricity at him from behind. He turns around and barely manages to leap outta the way to dodge it before leaping at me for the third time, roughing grabbing my waist in a way that, under different circumstances, could be classed as affectionate. I blast as much electricity as I can into him, and when that doesn't work, I raise my knee and drive it straight into his crotch, feeling slightly bad as he leaps back in pain. He falls backwards, before, ironically, smashing his head into a car windscreen, the very same car that he previously claimed, 'couldn't hurt him'.
"Are you alright?" I ask, as he mumbles several highly obscene swearwords at me. I hear a clicking sound behind me and turn, to find the police, who I had previously assumed were out of the count for good after that massive shockwave, loading their weapons and walking up to Captain Catastrophe.
"Okay," says the cop from before. "Shows over, Captain Catastrophe." He points a gun at his head while the other officer puts handcuffs on him and drags him away, leaving me standing in the wreckage of the street and the outside of the back, looking and feeling completely dazed. Did I just... win? I hear several onlookers start to clap, causing me to look at the ground and blush nervously. I see the flash of several cameras from the corner of my eye and thank my lucky stars that Julia made me put on the mask.
Feeling slightly proud but overwhelmed from all the sudden attention, I concentrate for a second before rising into the air and quickly flying up to the roof of the nearest building, out of the public eye. I look at the midday sky for several seconds, before feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket as it rings again. I pull it out and glance quickly at the caller ID before answering. Julia.
"TIM!" she yells through the phone and I carefully hold it back from my ear.
"Yeah?"
"Why didn't you answer my last call? And where the hell are you?"
"Well, to answer the first question, I was kind of busy stopping a bank robbery. And to the second, after I flicked you that text saying I was gonna follow those police cars, I did and now I'm on a roof top a few blocks from the mall, overlooking the wreckage from an attempted bank robbery."
I hear her suck in a deep breath. "You what?"
"As I said before..." I pause, hearing the faint humming of a helicopter. I quickly look around and see a media helicopter, heading right for me... Oh...
"Yeah, continue?"
"Er... can we talk later... er..." I hear the humming get louder. "There's a media helicopter, coming straight for me... er... can I call you back?" I hear her grumble as I slam the phone shut and stash it away inside my suit.
I leap into the air, and hoping I can concentrate enough to fly faster than a helicopter, shoot off, quickly gaining height as quick as I possibly can. I sneak a glance down and almost lose my concentration at the height. Holy... I gulp in fear. Too high, too high... I quickly fly back down before the height has a chance to properly make me panic and land on a rooftop beside an air-conditioning unit and duck behind it before the helicopter has a chance to see me.
"Too high..." I mutter, leaning back on the warm metal of the unit. "Too high." I pull out my phone and quickly give Julia a call back.
"Okay, it's gone." I breathe into the phone and sigh.
"Did you just... successfully stop a bank robbing?" she asks.
I shrug, even though she isn't here to see it. "Sure. I mean, I must have, seeing as I'm still alive and talking to you."
"True," she thoughtfully says.
"What's the time?" I ask, wiping the sweat from my forehead and shifting outta reach of the sun's harsh rays.
"Twelve PM," she says, after a slight pause. "Noon. Why?"
"It's too hot." I answer. "This spandex is making me way too warm." She laughs at me and I roll my eyes at the sky. "Plus I'm hungry."
"Should we head back to mine and Josh's, then?" She asks, and I hear Josh in the background, whooping in agreement.
"Sure." I answer, chuckling.
"We are never, ever, doing that again," declares Josh, slamming his palms down on the dining table for emphasis.
"Oh come on,' snorts Julia, rolling her eyes. "It wasn't that boring."
"It was so. You are just happy because you like window shopping."
"I'm quite surprised you were bored." she admits, biting into a microwaved pizza. "After all, you were surrounded by women..." I laugh and she winks at me, passing me some pizza.
"And," Josh continues, sounding annoyed, "meanwhile, Tim is not waiting on the roof and also bored, but instead he's a few blocks away, kicking some bad guy ass."
"I didn't kick that much ass..." I roll my eyes and look up at the ceiling. "Actually, I kind of sucked. I accidently made an entrance by falling from the sky and landing in front of the dude, so..."
Josh laughs. "You what?"
"Wanna hear something hilarious? Guess what his 'supervillian name' was?"
"I suck balls?" Julia snorts and I shake my head.
"Captain Catastrophe." Julia giggles and Josh groans.
"That is... lame."
I nod. "Creativity of a dead snail."
"Yeah, but what about you?" Julia asks. "Do you have a superhero name?"
"Er..." I shake my head. "No, I wasn't aware I needed one."
She groans. "If you don't give yourself one, the media will, and then you're stuck with it. Forever."
I shrug. "And?"
"If you thought 'Captain Catastrophe' was lame, you wait till you hear whatever the media gives you."
"I'm waiting," I smartly say, before leaning back on the chair and defiantly staring at the ceiling. Julia just gives up and groans.
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