Ben252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FW0Apvykm
September 1, 2005
252Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxLevKqyfl
*
Same day
*
There. I said it.
Stupid Cole. Not like it's going to change anything.
She never really loved me. She left me when I needed her the most.
These last few months have been hard enough, but trying to get over the only girl I've ever truly loved has been worse than any physical injury.
So why do I have to sit here and take this?
Oh right, because Cole is being an ass. He had the nerve to threaten me. Not physically, of course, because I could easily take him. No, he pulled out the big guns.
Telling Mom my secrets.
Kat's voice, the one I've longed to hear for so long, pulls me in like a fucking siren's song luring me to my death. "But, I didn't run. I mean, literally, I guess I did, but not from you. I mean, not emotionally, anyway."
What the fuck?
"Then where have you been?" I can't help the annoyance in my voice. There's no fucking way she can deny this. I was there and she was definitely not.
She gestures around her room. "I've been here, but-"
"No, no buts! You knew where I was. I couldn't leave." I can't believe she's even trying to deny this.
"I know, but-" There she goes again.
"I said no buts!" I'm trying to control my temper, but she's driving me crazy. She's too close. She's too beautiful. She smells too good. I just want to reach out and touch her, but she broke my fucking heart.
I need to get away from her. She's messing with my head. She always has. My Hurricane.
"Ben. Your turn is over." Cole sighs, rubbing his temples. Like he has any right to be annoyed with me. Jackass. "Kat, why don't you tell us what happened."
"Okay..." She takes a deep breath, but doesn't look away from Cole. I already miss seeing her eyes. Fuck. Get it together, man. "I got your message that Ben woke up, so I rushed over there to see him."
"Bullshit." I can't stop the word from coming out.
She glares, but at least she's looking at me again. "I went to open the door, but Samantha was in there."
"So what?" I scoff. That bitch was always there.
"So, I heard you confessing your love for her and asking her to stay with you. She seemed pretty agreeable. I didn't want to ruin your moment." She adds air quotes around the word moment. "So, I left."
God, she's fucking adorable. Even after she broke my heart and straight face lied to me just now. She's still my Beautiful Hurricane.
"Why didn't you tell me, Kat?" Cole moves to sit on the other side of her, comforting her like the betraying bastard he is. "All these times I've messaged you, you never said anything."
"What the fuck, Cole? Are you saying you believe her?" Well, so much for being on my side, bro.
"Why would she lie?" Cole's voice is calm and reasonable, which only annoys me more. I feel the complete opposite.
"Oh, I don't know. To make herself feel better? To make me the bad guy? How do I know?" I could probably name some more if I was thinking clearer.
"Ben, come on. I trust her." Fucking Cole. Why isn't Nate here? He'd have my fucking back.
"Yeah, except that never happened. I think I would remember telling that bitch I loved her." I mean, I would remember, right?
"But..." Her eyes are wide as she looks utterly confused. "I saw it happen."
"That's impossible because I would never say that..." Shit. I wouldn't say it to Samantha, but I did say it to Kat every night in my dreams. Shit. Shit. Shit. Could I have been talking in my sleep again? No way. There's no fucking way I confused that bitch for Kat, even in my sleep. There's no way, is there?
Cole's hand waves in front of my face. "You okay, dude? You just kinda trailed off there, staring off into the distance."
"Uh, yeah... sorry. Just... stuff." Fuck. Words aren't coming out. How do I explain something I don't even understand?
Samantha did seem extra cheerful right around the time Kat was supposed to come, but I assumed she was just happy I was miserable. Could she really have thought I confessed my love to her?
This is a huge fucking mess.
"I just need a minute." I give Cole a pointed look, hoping he takes the hint that I need a minute alone with Kat.
There's something that I need to know, but I don't want to say it in front of my idiot brother. After a quick scan of the room, I see he left.
Perfect. He finally did something right.
I clear my throat, drawing her attention from the thoughts that are no doubt swirling around her head right now. "Okay, so hypothetically, if that did actually happen-"
"It did happen!" Kat stands up suddenly, waving her arms in frustration. If I wasn't so upset with her, I might think she was adorable.
"Okay, okay." I put my hands up in surrender. "So, why did you just give up?"
"What do you mean?" She looks so beautiful as her face contorts in confusion.
I blow out the breath I didn't even realize I was holding in. "Why did you just leave and never come back?"
"Oh... well, I just thought, you know?" She looks down at the floor.
I push up on her chin gently to look in her eyes. "No, I don't know."
As soon as her eyes meet mine, words begin to rush out of her mouth."Well, uh, you know, I just thought you were pretending to like me and you were really in love with her all along and it was all some elaborate game you were playing together or something."
What the fuck?
"After everything I've said and done, how... how could you believe that?" I try to show her my sincerity, but I feel defeated inside. She never really believed me.
She licks her lips and looks away from me. "I, uh, I don't know."
"Yes, you do." I turn her face towards me.
"I guess it's just easier to believe that you were playing me all along than to believe you would ever actually love someone like me." She gestures to herself, as if that explains everything.
"Kat." I start to correct her, but her expression throws me off. She looks terrified.
Her eyes widen and her hand slaps over her mouth before her words stutter out, muffled and a little difficult to understand. "I didn't mean to say love."
That's what she's so worried about?
"Kat." I wait until she looks at me. "Listen to me, you're beautiful."
She scoffs. "I'm nothing like Samantha."
"That is very true." Thank whatever god it was who made them complete opposites.
"Right..." Her expression turns sad, like I've insulted her.
"You're better." I grab her hands, kissing the back of each one. "You are so beautiful that you take my breath away sometimes, you know that? It's all I can do to keep from staring at you the entire time I'm with you."
She laughs, rolling her eyes.
"It's true! I never loved her the way I love you." Her gasp makes me stop, realizing it was the first time I said love out loud to her.
"Really?" Tears run down her cheeks.
"Not even close." That wasn't quite the way I wanted it to come out. "I love you so much it hurts, Kat."
"I love you, too, Ben." I wipe away the tears with my thumbs and kiss her gently.
She tries to deepen the kiss, but I pull back, as much as I don't want to. My body is literally screaming at me. "Not yet darlin', I think we've got just a bit more to discuss."
"Oh, okay?" She looks at me innocently, but I know more than she thinks.
I feel the anger rise up in me again, just like the first time I heard about what happened. "Why the fuck was Mr. Gulso in your dorm room?"
ns 15.158.61.12da2
