By: Aphex Twin
From: Drukqs (2001)
Mission accomplished.
My Queen said it was only the beginning, but my duty ends here. Should had ended there. At the exit, I revisit our work. What caught my attention where the sounds... none at all. What was once a lively kingdom became a ghost town, whose fertile lands feeded by the rain seemed alive as usual. The branches of a tree set on fire, alike many houses, and rats who became stone instead of wearing colours alike. They were brave warriors, or just fools for crossing our way. We shouldn't had been here, and many young men shouldn't have died today. Same for their wifes, whom I haven't touched with my fingers or the edge of my sword. Petrified in fear, and in flesh; the morning star and its spikes were enough to make then not suffer. You can't kill a stone, as much as a stone can't kill you, or cry for the loss of someone, despite the rain that waters its surface.
The crackling of a Black Mage who didn't stood on our side; the howl of a thief without a throath; the fall of a convulsed Dragoon Knight drowning in white lather. It ain't their best moment. Mere bugs, meant to be crushed by my feet, yet the world falls upon my shoulders alike the rain. There is something mystical in it, enduring for an eternity. Maybe its the sorrow, but a Knight doesn't feel none. He is cold alike its armor, meant to be, but nothing is as it should. With only a targed remained, therefore maybe that insanity could had ended. Madness? It's was a honor to serve Brahne Raza Alexandros XVI. Didn't you wanted to please her? There is no honour in assassination. Frankly, I was tired of serving my Queen. I just wanted a quiet life with someone, this if I had an outstanding view of the crowd of Alexandria.
If I had another view of Burmecia and its statues... small instead of children, big instead of adults, would that ever happened? I never invaded a kingdom, made it into a battlefield, but guess times are changing. I changed my decision only now. Am I the only one guilty? The one who offered orders to my troops? The judgement will be tomorrow, and justice for all. How I wish things were like this... At the exit, I and my troops went to the desert, build barracs underground, bypassed the sandstorm, reached the trunk where another piece of a gem once divided remained, and so we completed our second mission. Yet, what the Crescent saw in the way was only death, while I considered it as an accomplishment instead of a barricade for my goal. The Queen's goal, who only cared about the life of its vassals.
Is it where there's guilt? In trust for what my Queen said and what she did? I admit, Cleyra was beautiful, a sharp contrast between the wastelands beneath, and its sister of clouds. Yet, no matter how beautiful it was, my time was short. And I wasn't there for the view, now nobody is for any reason. Later on, I discovered that the gem was a piece of Alexander, an old Eidolon whose power was sealed into a crystal, and its pieces given to all nations. Is there any guilty on it? For a power to be holded only by a few hands, while the Gaia we live take it all, together with those who stood on the spot. Despite being peaceful, the cleyrans had their end on an afternoon, when the skies became orange before the sun set. That thing, Odin, fell down like a comet, whose heat left more than ashes scattered around the air.
Above the Red Rose airship, where I was transferred together with my troops, where I wished everything could had ended in another way. Why test an Eidolon's powers of enemies not worthy of combat, who gave up of same? Where Brahne has acquired such Eidolon, to begin with? I'm a Knight who only follows orders, who questions authority in mind, the only safe place where I could be, the easiest to leave wounds. Zidane, Vivi and Freya followed me until the castle, yet only one's shadow follows me to this day. The Dragoon saw it all, impotent. Friends, relatives, its lover.. gone with the wind. Some came back by mere luck, but it wasn't enough to prevent her rage from being unleashed at me, who was there all the time, crossing paths with once a lone whom I, together with time, turned into a deranged.
Between doing something right instead of practical, of being a Dragoon or the person inside... Is Freya guilty of trying to put an end to my life, if I was only a part of the whole? Was she guilty of feeling something I didn't in battle? If there's a thing that we both know is that a knight only gives up by a heart attack. And a collapse. Alexandrian Knights are trained to be resilient when it comes to combat, as much as our surgeons are taught to ignore the cries of patients. I was both a Knight, and a surgeon back then; which one is guilt? Maybe the blame isn't in something that complex as a King's rule over its people, risking their lifes without caring about, even for those with blood. Garnet Til Alexandros XVII, once princess of Alexandria, had its Eidolons extracted while unconscious. She knew that her mother was in bad shape before I did, and for some reason she came back home, despite knowing that nothing could be done.
Is the new Queen guilt of trying to help? Of insisting that there's a second chance to someone who was once a kind leader, that for millions became a Jack Ketch? The dead have no purpose, but with the help only the living can afford, they are able to turn what once was a personal vendetta into a nation's. A single spark of a fire who lit barrels of powder about to explode, and when they do, powder still remains in barrels. So, is it where guilty truly reside? On the masses? Maybe nobody is guilt, as much as nobody is innocent anymore. Recently, Alexandria saw its skies burn at midnight, creatures crawling and devouring poeple on their way, as my sword met their backs. Mine and Steiner's, who seemed to be the sole protectors of this country. Now I know how it feels to be attacked at home, a siege that didn't even lasted a day, and lifes that should have lasted a few years ahead.
But when tomorrow doesn't come, crisis is a terrible conselour to follow of its advices. Nobody feels guilty when following a strong and memorable leader, whose speach seems to be the solution of all their problems. Should I feel guilty after the trial? At least, I'll be able to witness if some things still work, like the law. And a rightful punishment for what I did, shouldn't have done, but the blame can't be put only at someone's shoulders. But I'm not only someone. I am General Beatrix, and most of all, the Beatrix who bears of its title, and responsibilities with such.
ns 18.68.41.148da2
