So I’m at a predicament. I really want to write more of this blog. Even the one entry I wrote before this was really fun and I want to try to update this somewhat regularly. But right now in my life, I don’t really have anything to write about. My anxiety has been really bad lately, and I have been planning to write about that at some point, but at the moment, I would prefer to avoid confronting the things that could potentially cause panic attacks, and writing about it would be doing exactly the opposite of that. So other than that, I’ve been living a rather boring and normal life.
I guess what I’m really looking for is inspiration. Something to make me feel. Preferably a good feeling, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. I’d take anything over this constant state of anxiety I’ve been in, but it seems like I am incapable of feeling anything else. Maybe a few moments of temporary joy, or laughter, but it doesn’t last long.
And with that, I have accidentally reverted back to talking about exactly what I didn’t want to talk about. I suppose they say to write what you know. Perhaps it is just human nature to talk about what is familiar.
On a completely different and random note, can I take some time to talk about my love for all things electro swing? If you don’t know, it’s a genre of music as well as of dance. I am absolutely in love with both forms. Something about the rhythm is just so enthralling. And don’t even get me started on the dancing. I’ve always enjoyed watching dancers, but there’s something so intense and amazing about watching electro swing dancers. Plus they usually dress in super cool clothes, so a bonus.
Now that I think of it, and for the purpose of applying the two vastly different things I’ve touched on, electro swing makes me feel something. I don’t even know what specifically about it makes me experience such strong emotions, or even what those certain emotions are. It just is a good emotion, and I think that’s okay. It’s probably good to have some things in life that just make you feel happy.
But even the good things don’t always work to make you happy. Hence my current stage of life. And back to this. I guess I can’t escape the inevitable. The natural flow of my writing and thought process always seem to lead back here. I know I need to confront my problems, but it’s such an awful thought to entertain.
It’s exhausting, but what can you do?
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