Xelhans aren't exactly known for their high population, which might cause many to incorrectly think they have low intimacy in Xelha. It further doesn't help that the people are famously standoffish and blunt. But the truth is that Xelhan do care deeply for those that are important to them. You just need to know how to start.318Please respect copyright.PENANA10cwpBXHVs
In Xelhan culture, either gender can initiate pleasantries. However, it is usually done after an extended period of knowing each other. The first step is what's called a Tahti Tavata or a star date. This is borne out of Xelha's attachment to the stars and astronomy. A couple will go out on a clear evening and together select their "star". Something that will signify their relationship. This is accomplished by one half forming an "L" shape with their thumb and pointer fingers and the other forming the other half of the window with their thumb and pointer finger. The couple then selects a constellation, either a major or minor one, and that constellation will represent a sort of fortune telling for their love and relationship. As with zodiacs, no constellation is perfect and both have their pros and cons. Most of the constellations refer back to the deities of the Xelhan Orthodox Church and its myths and legends. At this point some couples will refer to their relationship by a pet name derived from their selected star. Favoured times of the year for this is usually during the early summer when the air is clear and the Northern Lights are stealing the show.318Please respect copyright.PENANAEZLAxGv8gW
Married or very intimate couples will sometimes have a Hekona Tavata (Second Date) that happens during the winter to watch the Northern Lights. Good luck depends on seeing different bands and colours. The legend goes that the colours are streamers of light from the Goddess Naomi as she runs across the sky towards the God of Fortune. He then blesses them with the different colours and seeing more colours means he's blessing the couple with more variants of fortune for the future. This is not to say seeing a single colour is bad luck, but it signifies that perhaps the couple may need some introspection and single mindedness to proceed forward.
The last piece is the wedding or Tahti Takuu. Unlike what some in the world may consider marriage, in Xelha, a Tahti Takuu is more literally translated as a Star Bonding Ceremony. This eliminates the gender bias that some cultures might have. It also means any Xelhan is allowed to bond with any other Xelhan, male or female. In some cultures this may be more analogous to a soul mate. The stars have guided you to a person (first meeting), has declared by fortune that you two shall be together (Tahti Tavata) and you two have now endured to the point where your stars both shine brightest together (Tahti Takuu). The ceremony itself is precipitated by notification of the family elders (either parents or grandparents) two days prior. The family elders then give the couple their blessing, cementing both heavenly and earthly approval for the bonding. Traditionally, the elders give the couple a small box. The box varies by province but the two main versions are either a wooden box with floral designs (Blizzaria and Numeria), while an earthen container (Noctus and Malbard) or a clay jar (Sol) and would seek donations from the community to give the couple a new start. In modern times, couples just do wedding registries, but sometimes couples may engage in the old method of asking for door to door donations. The couple must be back home before night (6 pm) and can not seek donations or gifts beyond this point. This holds up for wedding registries as they will be shut down at 5 or 6pm the day before a Tahti Takuu takes place.
The ceremony itself is fairly standard with vows exchanged, and the exchange of Takuu Bands (soul rings). It should be noted that engagement rings are not popular in Xelha. Most Xelhans will reject them, even from foreign spouses. Takuu Bands are usually made of silver and set with small stones. Putting large stones or crafting a wedding band with gold is seen as extravagant and wonton. Ei makron arvoa bondings or trophy spouses tend to be tied to these types of extravagant gifts. People will assume the glitter of the jewel draws them together opposed to the glitter of the soul.
At the reception there is a First Waltz. This is the first dance the couple have together. After this dance is complete, the Kanikani (Wreath Dance) is performed. At this point the newlyweds are blindfolded and flower wreaths (usually made of Lily of the Valley) are placed on their heads. The unmarried men and women form a circle around the newlyweds and stand arm in arm. The music starts again and the couple dance in a clockwise manner, while the others dance in a counterclockwise manner. Once the music stops, the guests unloop their arms and face outward while the couple in the center kiss and face towards their guest. The newlyweds pick a direction and walk out to the circle. Upon reaching the edge of the circle, the newlyweds remove their blindfolds and place the wreaths on their heads on whomever they have walked to. They then declare "koa" (happiness), which signals the guests to turn back around and face the newlyweds. The two selected new wreath bearers perform a dance with the newlyweds, signifying the passing on of happiness from one couple to another.
And finally, we have Kasitys or Conception Month. In Xelha, this is a month-long period lasting from January 18 to February 18 when due to the lowest annual temperatures Xelhans are usually stuck inside and the majority of babies are conceived. This is evidenced by as much as 40% of newborn being born in the months of September and October. This phenomenon persists even through the advent of contraception in Xelha. While it is unknown if this phenomenon is restricted to Xelha only, the locals like the giggle it often brings, and is one of the few quirks universally shared by all provinces in Xelha that is purely a cultural thing.318Please respect copyright.PENANAZstzjBD7pV