Richard woke up shivering. It felt as if his bones themselves were made of ice, making him think that if he moved he would shatter into a million pieces.
He glanced over at Helen, whose head rested on Midnight’s side as she shivered herself.
Richard felt his eyebrows knit together in concern as he searched his pack for a thick blanket, one that they couldn’t wear while climbing the mountain.
He wrapped the blanket around her, making sure that she was covered enough by its warmth. He thought back to when they had visited Hilgaria, after the first time she had passed out and he fell asleep in a chair next to her. Richard woke up with a blanket wrapped around him.
And now, he was returning the favor. Although it was the least he could do.
He couldn’t imagine a world without her.
His gloved hand reached under the blanket for hers, giving it a gentle squeeze to show that he was there. Helen’s eyes slowly opened and she smiled as she looked at him.
Richard’s face felt hot as he admitted, “S-sorry to wake you, I just…wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Helen’s arms reached for him, and she pulled him into a hug.
“I’m okay,” she whispered in his ear.
He felt his heart twist as he realized that she knew how much he worried about her. Richard turned so he could sit next to her under the blanket. It was still in the quiet hours of the morning, and Richard glanced over at the others as he realized they were all fast asleep.
Luke and Skylar were resting their heads on each other, with Luna the wolf sitting between them. Richard felt himself smile despite himself, and he glanced over at Helen, who was staring at them, too.
“They fell asleep like that,” he muttered to her, “It’s like ever since they found each other again they’ve been near each other every waking moment.”
Helen bit the inside of her lip, a puzzled look on her face as she argued, “Well, it’s not like we’re any different,” the comforting touch of her hand relaxed Richard, and he nodded, agreeing with her. “And, besides, they hadn’t seen each other in weeks. I know that if I was separated from any of you guys for that long, I’d try to be as close to all of you as possible.”
Despite the selflessness of her comment, Richard felt a twinge of jealousy.
Why couldn’t she want to be as close as possible to him? Was he really that unlikeable? His hands shook as he heard the voice of his father once again, berating him for being anything less than a failure of a son.
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“Idiot,” he remembered his father muttering, sending him into a flashback from years ago. “I asked for the rose seeds, not the petunia seeds.”
In the memory, he couldn’t see his father’s eyes. It was as if the shadow of his hair blocked them out. Robert Calibaster seemed to tower over him, much taller than his stature in reality.
He threw the seeds on the ground, causing Richard to stoop over and quickly pick them up.
Richard heard his father sigh. “Go back inside and grab the right ones.”
“Yes, father,” Richard muttered, before running back inside the house.
He pretended not to hear Robert continue to mutter, “Idiot,” under his breath.
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“Richard?” Helen asked, forcing him back into reality. He blinked a few times, before looking back over at Helen. At least she was on the right side of him, so he could look at her from the corner of his good eye.
“What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing,” he said, looking away, “I’m fine.”
Helen didn’t look convinced, and she squeezed his hand anyway.
“Well, whatever it is, you can tell me whenever you want.”
Richard nodded, although he wasn’t sure if he would tell her what had been bothering him. At least not yet.
A stab of pain ran through the nerves around his eye, sending a searing discomfort throughout his face. Richard gasped, covering the left side of his face as if to protect it. But he couldn’t shield his injury from the pain that was haunting him.
“Richard-”
“No,” he cut Helen off, holding a singular hand out to stop her, “Don’t-don’t look at me…”
She looked hurt, but she backed off.
“Thank you,” he barely whispered, before turning his back to her and slowly unraveling the bandages.
His hands shook as the cloth fell from his face, falling to the ground in a bloody heap.
“You need to let the wounds air out, Richard,” she pleaded, “it might get infected if you don’t-”
“I know,” he sighed as he gingerly felt the scarred side of his face. The surface was rough and stung to the touch, making Richard hiss in pain.
“Richard, please.”
“But, I…” his fists clenched as he thought back to the moment in Thuron when she walked in on him without the bandages. She had already seen how ugly he was, so why would she want to see his scars?
“I can’t let you look at it,” his shoulders slumped as he continued to hide his appearance from her. “I can’t…let you look at me.”
Gentle hands touched his shoulders and turned him to face Helen. He stared into her deep blue eyes, the beautiful face she would have for the rest of her life which was unmarred by any of the scars Richard held.
He turned his eyes down in shame, ashamed of his appearance. Ashamed of what he had become.
Helen reached in the bag behind her, searching for the alcohol they had bought from one of the villages. Her hands carefully dipped a cloth in the alcohol, before reaching it up to Richard’s face.
He closed his eyes, although it was a useless thing to do. His left eye was permanently blinded, so it wouldn’t matter if any of the alcohol got in it, anyway.
The alcohol fizzled as Helen gently cleaned his scars, sending spikes of pain up and down the burned area. But Richard could hardly feel it. The pain from the alcohol was nothing compared the pain he had been in before.
Helen also brought out some clean bandages, and carefully wrapped his face once again.
After putting the medical supplies away once again, Helen cupped Richard’s face in her hands, forcing him to look up at her once again.
“I love you,” she whispered, causing Richard’s heart to flutter. “I’ll always love you, no matter how many scars you have.”
And then, her arms wrapped around him again, causing his head to rest on her shoulder. He closed his eye, a tear rolling down his cheek as he took in a shaky breath.
“I love you too,” he found the voice to say, and lifted his arms to hug her back.
There was a rustling on the other side of the cave as Richard realized that Skylar was waking up. Her expression was dazed, her eyes roaming around the cave as if looking for something.
Richard pulled away from Helen, her hand still rubbing his back as Alice and Peter started to stir as well.
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And, before they knew it, they were back on the road. Or, the mountain, so to speak.
Although the wind was still blowing them around like rag dolls, the strength of it had begun to die down enough that they could at least see in front of them.
They still had to shout over the sound of the howling wind, barely able to hear each other.
Even worse, the wind seemed to be colder than the mountain air, chilling each one of them to the bone. Despite his heavy layers, Richard still shivered relentlessly.
Their stops for breaks against the harsh climb and weather were becoming more frequent, and Richard longed for the cover of a cave once again.
But no matter where they looked, they could not find a single cave. No crevasse or crack in the side of the mountain. Nothing.
At last, the winds seemed to stop. They could see clearly and didn’t have to yell at each other, and Peter suggested they make a fire.
Finally, Richard thought as he stared into the orange flames. He held his hands out in front of him, warming them from the heat of the fire.
The sun had set not long after, but Richard couldn’t sleep. He felt as if he had to be ready for anything at the moment, and glanced over at the rest of the group.
Skylar and Alice were sitting with each other, their eyes beginning to drift close as they stared into the fire. Peter sat on the far side of Richard, his head resting on his arm as he huddled in his coat. Even Adalene, who usually was on edge and staring out as if to keep watch, was fast asleep.
With Helen leaning on his shoulder, Richard looked over at Luke. It was good he was finally getting sleep, but as he sat there, a sadness was in his eyes. It was almost like back when they were on the Bowen. He could barely sleep and when he would, he would have nightmares.
“How are the dreams?” Richard asked quietly, pretending not to look at him.
Luke glanced up, almost as if he didn’t know anyone else was there. “I-well, it seems better with Skylar around,” he glanced over at her as she lay on the snow-covered ground and was asleep. “But, when I was sick…I don’t know, weird stuff happened.”
“Yeah,” Richard agreed, “You acted like a loony the entire time you had that fever.”
A sheepish grin appeared on Luke’s face as he thought about it, “Was I…saying weird things?”
He nodded back, a smile lilting on Richard’s lips. “Mhm, you called Skylar an angel and kept seeing animals or something.”
Luke’s face turned red, although the grin was still on his face. “I mean, I guess she is like an angel,” his eyes roamed over to Skylar again before resting back on Richard.
“Oh!” Luke said as if he remembered something. “When I first saw her, she jumped out of a tree, and the sun was shining so perfectly behind her that I thought she was an angel.”
Richard smiled, glad they could reminisce on happier times.
“And then,” Luke continued, “she just kicked me!” Richard snickered, trying to keep himself still so he wouldn’t wake Helen.
“Although, then it turned out that she was looking for you, and…wanting revenge for her father’s death…” Luke trailed off, and Richard found himself staring at his feet.
“You wanna hear what I did when I first met Helen?”
“What?”
“I called her poor,” Richard muttered bitterly, “I told her and Peter they didn’t deserve to know my name or anything about me. I made her feel inferior.”
They both thought it over for a moment, their eyes staring into the fire before Luke said softly, “She didn’t give up on you.”
Richard didn’t know what to say to that, just felt Helen’s head on his shoulder. Luke was right. She had never given up on him, even when he was rude to her because Helen saw the best in everyone.
“You’re right,” he muttered back, “And I’ll never give up on her.”
…
Richard had grown accustomed to sleeping on his left side, as it allowed his uninjured ear to hear anything when he was asleep.
So the footsteps in the snow the next morning caused his eyes to fly open, and he stared at a woman standing over their group, a scarf covering her face.
Richard shot up, his jostling waking Helen before shouting, “Hey!” to the woman and causing the others to wake...
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