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2019年8月23日
大埔醫院療養服務部門口 – 14:05223Please respect copyright.PENANAMQiq1YZgOX
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※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※※223Please respect copyright.PENANAoqhVI4eSF1
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「小冰,多謝您每個星期都嚟探祥仔呀﹗」許太深深地向我點一點頭:「其實唔駛嚟得咁密,佢嘅情況一直都係咁,我同佢阿爸都無乜希望㗎喇……」223Please respect copyright.PENANA0EtaG8tytx
223Please respect copyright.PENANAmH5bC7Sb1K
我立即扶起許太:「伯母,我唔會放棄,我相信史提芬都唔會放棄,如果佢要放棄嘅話,佢一早就走咗啦﹗」我扶實伯母兩邊膊頭:「係史提芬救咗我,我一定要等到佢醒返㗎!」223Please respect copyright.PENANAPJS6lKggn3
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許太無再講其他嘢,我望住佢,欲哭無淚嘅表情,深邃嘅黑眼圈,說明呢3年嚟作為母親嘅心情,實在係打撃太沉重了。許家只得史提芬一粒仔,所有感情及心血都投在佢身上,宜家史提芬仍然昏迷,對任何人嚟講都係一個遺憾。223Please respect copyright.PENANAbhpnZk3HgY
223Please respect copyright.PENANAcwU9lZaUWs
我步出醫院大堂,喺旁邊嘅通道上搵咗張梡櫈坐底。頭有點痛,閉目養神。223Please respect copyright.PENANA7ThYGWBlJj
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每當我合上眼,我就會見到阿Ken嘅身影慢慢走入嗰度爛門之中。223Please respect copyright.PENANAFKo9jzYAZi
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由我喺醫院醒返嗰日起,我差不多每晚都發同樣嘅夢,我夢見經理、阿Ken、阿琛,夢入面影象好清晰,彷彿可以觸摸到一樣,佢地喺香檳大廈入面走入一道又一道嘅門,然後就突然消失。223Please respect copyright.PENANAARbdV0MeXk
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喺醫院休養嘅嗰段時間,大部份都係得我自己一個,成日都不自覺回憶件事,或者走過去特別加護病房睇住史提芬。223Please respect copyright.PENANAU6y73yF4HD
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史提芬受槍傷失血過多,加上曾經被吊,導致佢腦部嚴重缺氧。雖然我同佢都僥倖被救回性命,但史提芬卻醒唔返,一直昏迷,醫生話佢會醒返嘅機會好渺茫,著佢父母做決定。223Please respect copyright.PENANAQHSgX4Kc3B
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許生許太一直堅持唔肯拔喉,佢地仍然期待著史提芬能夠甦醒過來嘅一日。223Please respect copyright.PENANA5kIEaVH482
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而我亦同樣盼望著。223Please respect copyright.PENANAOla7CMnF3M
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喺我出院後,機構為我安排咗心理學家同我傾,但作用唔大。223Please respect copyright.PENANATT6irNE5JF
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事實上我到宜家都接受唔到經理就咁樣就死咗,阿Ken就咁就消失,史提芬變咗植物人,我甚至接受唔到自己經歷過呢一切。223Please respect copyright.PENANAeiSew4aZra
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每次當我照鏡,見到自己頸上面嗰條不能磨滅嘅紅印時,就好似不斷咁拉返我入去香檳大廈件事入面。223Please respect copyright.PENANA1LkrkZEDR2
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警方喺事發後已經封鎖咗成幢香檳大廈住宅範圍足足三個月,呢三個月期間,唔同嘅警察部門都搵過我,重重覆覆咁問我當時發生乜嘢事,而我亦都重重覆覆咁追問佢地阿Ken嘅下落,但永遠都係得一個答案:223Please respect copyright.PENANAFyfb0pkLFt
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「譚小姐,我已經翻查咗好多次閉路電視,係,我地的確見到你同事走咗入去你指嘅單位,但我地入過去搵,已經搵過晒成幢大廈,都真係見唔到你同事嘅蹤跡……不過我地都會繼續盡力幫你搵返佢地,如果您突然諗起啲乜嘢,請立即通知我地……」223Please respect copyright.PENANA1YUERwYUUq
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往後嘅時間,史提芬病情漸漸穩定,因此由伊利沙伯醫院嘅加護病房,轉咗去大埔醫院嘅療養部。我除咗每個星期去大埔醫院探望史提芬同佢屋企人之外,只要我一有時間,就會返去香檳打探阿Ken嘅下落。223Please respect copyright.PENANAvDMMtfRefB
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但我發現根本無從入手,即使警察已經解封,已遷出嘅姐姐仔亦都無再返過嚟,無人夠膽再返去做生意,甚至再繼續居住,所有單位轉眼就畀集團收購哂,仲要將單位啲間隔完全拆除,打回原形,而且每個單位嘅門口都被新安裝嘅鋼閘封住,睇上去就好似一個個監倉咁,我隔住鋼閘望入去單位裡面,我幻想住裡面轉角有人走出嚟,剛好就係阿Ken同阿琛兩個……223Please respect copyright.PENANAykclbsN5Pw
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「阿Ken,你知道嗎?經理已經死了,您究竟喺邊度……」223Please respect copyright.PENANAqj8Bc9DmdK
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阿Wing唔止一次跟住我去香檳上面搜尋阿Ken嘅下落,我知道佢呢一年來都撐得好辛苦,男朋友就咁樣憑空消失,音訊全無。當初佢聽到我第一次覆述返同史提芬及阿Ken重返香檳嘅細節時,佢成個人都崩潰了,佢甚至責怪我點解唔好好拉住阿Ken,點解唔勸佢返去。223Please respect copyright.PENANAHQGsYfrnWv
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其實開頭我都好自責,始終我有份贊成大家返去香檳探個究竟。不過近呢幾個月,阿Wing已經好少同我聯絡,我唔知佢係咪仲嬲我,定係佢都開始接受男朋友失蹤嘅現實。223Please respect copyright.PENANA8rbCGIA44N
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較早之前,我嘗試走勻晒香檳大廈所有仍然仲有人嘅單位同鋪頭,揸住阿Ken同阿琛嘅相,逐家逐戶咁問佢地有無見過相中人,包括時鐘酒店及地下賣錶同賣相機嘅店舖,雖然我地得到答覆都係一致,但唔知點解,我一直都有種強烈嘅感覺,覺得阿Ken佢地仲喺度。223Please respect copyright.PENANAtdvWNjgif8
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有好幾次我喺B座大堂對住電梯嘅走廊企咗好耐好耐,其實我都唔都知自己喺度等緊乜嘢,就只想喺度等,直到有人從後撞到我,我先回過神,我望一望,一批大陸旅客喺通往戴東尼酒店嘅樓梯走落嚟,同我擦身而過。我望住樓梯口,就好似見到有一個好熟悉嘅人喺轉角位置望住我咁。223Please respect copyright.PENANAvSWl13xmil
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有好多時候,我已經分唔到係我有幻覺,定真係感覺到阿Ken嘅存在。223Please respect copyright.PENANATsx1vBRLuj
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心理學家同我講呢個現象其實係好常見,經歷過重大事故,係好有可能患有創傷壓力症現象。佢甚至安排精神專科醫生幫我開藥,希望我可以透過少量嘅鎮靜劑及安眠藥,令自己安定返落嚟,但呢啲藥對我一啲幫助都無。223Please respect copyright.PENANAnUTiCnAHEU
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安眠藥的而且確容易令我入睡,但我每一次醒來,眼框總係湧著淚水。223Please respect copyright.PENANAYVKAFaPKGC
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(後記1完)223Please respect copyright.PENANAzsienRS5YR