Prompt: The Vessel
Song: After the Rain by Soraru x MafuMafu
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He was thinking too much about this.
It had already been a week since they’d broken up, but he was still suffering. Going to the same school as your ex and seeing them every day isn’t the greatest feeling ever.
It had finally cycled back to the weekend, and it was a reasonably quiet Friday- No big parties on their street, no fireworks being set off no turkeys being set loose to run across the road. Thanksgiving was a big event, but their neighbourhood too the festivities maybe a little too wildly.
He jumped up from his bed and haphazardly threw a jumper on. He was going to go to his secret place- the best spot in town.
He started his rundown car. His secret place wasn’t all that secret, but they liked to call it that. The two of them would always visit it together, and cloud watch for hours. Those were the happiest memories of his whole life.
But today it was something different.
He killed the gas, and climbed on to the banged-up, rusted roof of the car. Somehow, sky was so bright, but so dark at the same time- he couldn’t put words.
A grey cloud passed over the great, waxy moon, leaving him temporarily in shadow.
He was reinventing his favourite place. Instead of laying in the bright sun, he was embraced by the beautiful, twinkling stars. Instead of identifying clouds through golden rays of heat, he was looking for the shapes made by the ever-increasing amount of grey clouds that obscured the small points of light. Instead of feeling the sensation of grass on his skin, he felt the harsh press of metal. Instead of being with her, he was all alone.
He felt a wave of melancholy wash over him. Everything was so different without her in his life. Somehow, everything was so cruel, so desolate, so lonely, and somehow, so beautiful. He couldn’t explain this either.
Small drops of water hit his face.
He closed his eyes, trying not to think of the past, to not think of her, to think to the future instead. But it seemed, whenever he wanted this to happen, memories of her would invade this. Thoughts of her were something of a computer virus, malignant and definitely not needed or wanted.
But why? Why? he asked himself. People get over their exes so easily, why is she still on my mind?
He could hear rain splatter on the tinny roof of the car.
Of course, he knew the answer to this. It was because, when most people start dating someone, they don’t love their partner straight away. For him, it was hard not to love her.
She was, and probably will always be, the person he will love the most. And he didn’t understand.
He could feel the rain getting heavier, drenching him to his core.
He didn’t understand why she didn’t feel the same. He didn’t understand why he felt so strongly about her. When did it start? Why did it start? How did it start? He had answers for none of these questions.
He shifted slightly on the roof, to move from a water-filled dent in the roof.
He wanted to get away from these feelings welling up inside of him. He wanted to erase her from his life. He wanted to forget everything about her- those girls who’d always say bad things about her behind her back, that infuriating guy who she left him for, and all those happy things she’d been a part of in his life.
She didn’t deserve to have caused him any happiness.
And as he realised that, he’d felt a different emotion than anger and sadness- something that hadn’t happened in a week- he felt relief.
Salt tears mixed with fresh water rain.
Maybe he’d finally be able to let her go. He could finally be able to think about something other than her. He’d finally not have his mind filled with her. The emotions within him mingled, and set off fireworks of joy and comfort and excitement, and every other possible emotion that was remotely good.
And that was when he smiled.
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