Luke and Skylar walked in silence. He wanted very badly to talk to her, to comfort her. They had brought the Dueglesteiners to her home and she was feeling guilty about it.
Skylar kept sighing, looking at the ground and kicking some pebbles.
“Are…you alright?” Luke finally asked.
Skylar looked at him, tears welling up in her eyes. She bit her lip to keep them at bay, but turned away and sighed. Then she looked at him again and said, “No!” Then she sighed and sat on the ground, pulling her knees to her chest. “No, I’m not alright.”
Luke sat down next to her, fiddling with a twig he picked up off the ground. “Do you…want to talk about it?”
Skylar looked away from him. “No.” But then she looked at him holding the twig and said, “Yes?” She buried her head in her hands. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to believe and not believe anymore. I mean, I thought we were safe. Maybe settle down for a bit, then pack up and go. Sure, there was the incident with Richard but I figured I could talk my way out of it. Chris is my brother, so I knew he’d figure something out. It’s just…” she trailed off, sighing and shaking her head. She lifted her head to look at Luke, the tears welling up again.
“It’s all my fault!” she shouted, “I led the Dueglestieners and there now everyone I’ve ever known is going to die and it’s all because of me!”
Luke put an arm around Skylar’s shoulder. “Hey…” he said, “It is not your fault. I don’t know how they keep finding us, but maybe splitting up will help. They seem to find us when we’re all together.”
Skylar raised an eyebrow at him, and argued, “But they found us when we weren’t together, Luke.”
“You’re the one who thought we should split up!”
Skylar smiled at that, saying, “I guess I did, huh?”
Luke laughed, patting Skylar on the shoulder a little. Then he became serious again. “Don’t feel guilty, okay? If you feel guilty about it, your feelings will eat you up then spit you out. Trust me.”
Luke got up, holding his hand out to help Skylar up to her feet.
“Come on,” he said.
Skylar looked at him for a second, her eyes still pink from crying, then took his hand. She got up to her feet, and then Skylar surprised him. She hugged him, her body shaking with sobs.
Luke awkwardly patted her back, returning the hug. “Hey, it’s okay. Please, don’t cry.”
She continued to cry though, holding onto Luke. Luke couldn’t help having a flashback, hearing her cry brought back the memories.
...
Luke was 8 in the flashback. He was playing with his toys when there was a knock on the door. Luke got up, looking over to where his brothers were sitting on the floor, playing “Knights and Dragons” with their wooden figures of knights their father had made him, while Donald pretended to be a dragon.
The knock came again.
Luke’s mother was in the kitchen, so Luke decided to open the door himself.
He opened the door to see a man with black hair and black eyes, paler skin, and a Bellonese soldier’s uniform.
“Who are you?” Luke asked, his eyes narrowed. Although he was 8, he still understood that this man was a stranger and he should talk to his mother before letting this man in.
The man cleared his throat, saying, “Is your mother home? I need to speak with her.”
Luke raised an eyebrow at the stranger, then called, “Mommy! There’s a strange man at the door who wants to see you!”
His mother came in shortly after, her sandy blonde hair in a messy bun, her hands dusting off her apron.
She had a smile on her face until she saw the stranger. “Robert?” Her face became angry and stern, as she gave the stranger a look. “What are you doing here? Where’s my husband?”
Sarah Doogan motioned for Luke to go inside, so he did, but he couldn’t help eavesdropping.
“Sarah…” The man named Robert started, his face full of concern and sadness, as he talked to Luke’s mother.
“Nathaniel. Where. Is. He.” Luke’s mother said sternly.
“Sarah, I’m sorry to say this, but…Nathaniel’s gone.”
Luke’s mother gasped. “Gone?” then her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean…gone?”
“You know what I mean,” Robert said, looking at his mother with a creased brow. “I-It should’ve been me, but-”
“You’re right!” Sarah shouted at Robert, “You’re right, it should’ve been you. How am I supposed to support my 4 boys now? Nathaniel-” Luke’s mother’s voice broke, and she hung her head, sobbing silently.
“Sarah, I have a boy of my own. Maybe we can-”
“No!” Luke’s mother shouted, “Get out! I don’t want to see your goddamn face in my house ever again. You should’ve done something! Anything! It-it should’ve been you…”
Robert looked hurt, but he turned away, saying one last thing. “It was my fault, Sarah. I made the Dueglestein soldier kill him in an act of rage. I’m…I’m sorry.” A tear trickled down the cheek of Robert, and he turned around and ran away from the Doogan household.
Luke’s mother now turned to Luke, kneeling down to his level.
“What did that man mean, Daddy’s gone?” Luke asked although he knew the answer.
Luke’s mother looked at him with tears in her eyes, and she cupped his face in her hands. “You have his eyes, Luke. You have his eyes.”
Then she pulled him in for a hug, sobbing silently, her body shaking. Luke had stood there, numb with the pain and grief.
What did he mean, Daddy’s gone?
...
Luke now stood there, as Skylar cried into his shoulder. The flashback now filled his own eyes with tears, and he shut them tight to try to keep them at bay. But it was useless. They began to fall out of his eyes, down his cheeks and chin.
‘No, no, no, don’t cry.’ Luke told himself, but the damage was already done. Skylar couldn’t see him, but he felt like the moment they broke away from the hug, she would see the wetness of his cheeks and question why he was crying now.
Luke hastily lifted a hand to his face, wiping the tears away with his sleeve. But then Luke remembered that it was the sleeve of his father’s jacket and caught a whiff of his father’s scent. Luke felt even sadder now.
Skylar eventually broke away from the hug, wiping her face with her hand. “Okay. I’m done now.” She sniffed.
Luke quickly wiped his face more to make sure that Skylar didn’t see he’d been crying as well, but she still looked at him as he wiped his face.
“You ready to go now?” Luke asked, trying his best to smile.
Skylar frowned, probably looking at the redness of his face, and asked, “Are you?”
Luke looked away, embarrassed, but Skylar said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I was, after all, the one just crying.”
“Haha, yeah.” Luke tried his best to seem like he didn’t just have a flashback and cry in front of Skylar, but he could tell she knew.
Of course, she knew...
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