What is a phobia? It's a fear of something. That's a simple answer to a not so simple question. Why? Because when we have phobias we also tend to say we don't like or even hate the subject. Fear of clowns, fear for crowds, fear of heights. Fear of transgender, transphobia. Some of you may have seen the comments I dealt with over the weekend. If not, well there were over 200 comments from a single transphobic person. As a Christian your taught to love, even your enemies. How do you love someone so full of hate though? You look past the hatred and go back to that simple fear. I know JK Rowling is not only transphobic but actively speaks out against transgender people and defends other transphobes. I still appreciate her as a fellow writer though. Not the articles and books that she wrote that paint trans women as rapists and murderers of course. I do appreciate her for creating an entire world of magic and inspiration for multiple generations though.
It is hard to love an enemy that hates you so much and would likely murder you in person. I was so fearful for my life because of transphobic people that when I first came out I never left the house unless I was in a group of 3 or more. That's not a phobia. That's a genuine concern. Transwomem are murdered for being themselves. Trans men are raped and stripped completely of their pride.
People don't realise how difficult it is for transgender people to get up every day and know that. To know that a single slip up around the wrong person could mean a potentially fatal encounter.
I still love and embrace life though. I'm not going to let that fear stop me from living my life to its fullest potential. I mean sure I'd rather live a happy long life and support my family and the person I love but I'd rather live that life as myself.
Unfortunately every transgender person knows that being transgender is dangerous because of the hatred of some humans. Some people stop transitioning for that reason and a very large chunk kill themselves. The statistics are crazy high and stacked against us. We know though, that we can't let those odds and all that hatred get us down. Every trans person I've met is happy being themself. Happy for the ability to be able to transition.
So what makes Jane different now to when she first started transitioning? Well I've had most of my facial laser so I only need to shave every second day and my body has feminised. I live in stealth as a transwoman in order to protect myself. I'm not hiding who I am. I'm merely being certain that I won't be attacked for who I am. I'm not not proud. (I wanted to word that better but nothing came to mind). I can still have pride in being transgender and be stealth. That did take me a long time to accept though.
-Jane
ns 15.158.61.17da2
