Everyone calls me the bad guy. I'm the villain, cause the hero is always the prince, and the heroine is always the princess. Princesses are wicked, and she was the wickedest of them all. I hoped the humans would give her compassion, but hey just fed her need for power. You know the fairy tale story of my death. Let me tell you the truth.
Once upon a time, there was a king. This king was in love with someone. Her name was Ursula. But she wasn't pretty by mer standards, which makes sense since she was a nereid, but anyway, and there was another, prettier one that was also conveniently a princess. Her name was Athena. Then Athena had like, a bazjighillion kids (aka seven) and the seventh was named Ariel. A full list of them was as follows, oldest to youngest:
Attina, Alana, Adella, Aquata, Arista, Andrina, and Ariel. [Quick thing: and yes, I am such a Disney fan that I know all of their names. I am a geek. Live with it.]
Anyway, then they grew up, and Athena was killed by a very specific group of humans, so Triton, the guy who was supposed to marry Ursula, but married Athena cause she was prettier, drowned them (and he's a great guy supposedly), and then declared that all humans are the evil spawn of Satan. Then Ariel grew up, Triton threw a fit, which caused a sea storm, a prince named Eric nearly drowned, Ariel saved him cause he was hot, you know all of this, but then it gets tricky.193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoD1nDqrRlo
You see, then she sang her little song, and Eric became obsessed with her, falling into a depression because Ariel used the sirensong, a supposedly forbidden song, on a human male. She's fantastic, right?193Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDzSy6ayj4
Then she sang another little ditty about how much stuff she has and that fact that she's needy, greedy, spoiled, then came to me to have the human male who was hot, so she wanted him to fall in love with her and decided to totally remove an innate part of her, because she took it for granted, and had body insecurities, basically, then I got to do my little bit, a bunch of semi-random stuff happened, and we all ended up with a great big battle where a prince who's supposed to be good and kind-hearted was okay with killing a person cause he thought she was ugly, and the perfect little angle of a princess didn't so much as faint at the sight of my death. Then Triton did a complete U-turn, becoming suddenly okay with losing Ariel, the daughter he loved the most. That family is more messed up than mine.
So now I'm dead. Floating in eternal nothingness, writing this with some random paper I conjured from the depths of nothing. Once I'm finished, you all will get this CliffsNotes version of the true story of The Little Mermaid. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all princesses are bad. But Ariel is the satanic demonspawn of a god.
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