Anyway, so this idiot loved- I mean Loved with a capital L- playing pranks on neighbours. So of course, immediately, we became friends. Well, I only befriended him so he didn't pull anything funny on me-he still did though.
Now we-both of us, because we both lived on the same street- had a cranky old man of a neighbour. And no, to break the cliche, he didn't live on his own. He had a wife and a son who were just as cranky. So naturally, we called them the cranky family.
This one time, when it was like a week before Christmas Eve, Max decided to pull a prank on the cranky old bugger-who by way went by the name of Terry Juese. Pronounced as "geese".
But this was no little prank that we usually did. He wanted it to be a big one. And by big, meaning risky. Very, very risky.
Off course, I wanted to back out and I nearly did because honestly, we would've gone to jail and that's not something I wanted my future to see.
Anyway, throughout the week, he spent his time planning and planning with little Christmas duties here and there. And I spent that time saying no to the different ideas and eating the rest of his cookies. Literally.
I remember sometime throughout that week, we told Max's little sister Katherina to go up to Mr Juese and say, and I quote, "Mr Juese, why do your eyebrows look like an 'm'?"
I swear the look on his face was priceless. But he did blow a fuse and said really bad things to the little girl, who came back crying to us. Apparently, he told her that with that attitude, she'd have no 'prince charming knocking at her door' and that he'd make sure her mother knew about what she said.
The poor thing was only six then, so it surely explained why she was so upset.
Though let's skip time and go on to the day of Christmas Eve. I think I nearly pissed myself about three times that day. I was that nervous.
Now the cranky family didn't celebrate Christmas for an unknown particular reason and I didn't celebrate Christmas because well, I'm Muslim. Though we did put up a Christmas tree and a few lights outside our house.
Max however, was a complete different story. That idiot loved Christmas. So it was a complete surprise when he came knocking at my door sometime in the afternoon asking me to video the prank. The prank wasn't meant to be done until about nine at night but apparently, he didn't want to miss out on the Christmas party. Smart idea on his behalf, but it made things ten times more riskier.
Anyway, so off we went to the cranky family's property feeling a little over the arrogant side. Well Max was. As for me, my pants were a little wet.
The first part of the prank-and till this day, he still has the video on his phone-was to knick knock on their door. I remember, I was obsessed with these shoes my mum bought me to wear for school but I also hated them because the shoelaces were always on the loose.
So naturally, as usual, whilst Max gracefully knick knocked on their door about three time without getting caught, I wasn't so lucky. Since the cranky son had to open the door three times, on the fourth shot-which was my turn mind you- the son stormed out with a base ball bat in his hand. And I swear, I'd never ran as fast as I did at the time. Luckly, he didn't see us, but I did end up tripping over my damned shoelace just as we rounded the street corner to hide.
Though, you might think that that was all we did. No. Not even close. We had to wait another half an hour until the cranky son cooled down to his usual cranky level. We didn't want the son the only one to come out. We wanted Mr. Juese himself to appear because his reaction was much worth videoing and less physically aggressive.
Part two of the prank was horrible I tell you. Max wanted to break into the house with the family still inside. I don't know what he was thinking at the time but let me tell you something. I didn't agree at all. I mean, who in their right mind would do something like that? No one. Exactly.
And since the hairless monkey refused to listen to me, I kicked him in the balls. Literally. I think his pupils went a little crossed-eyed too. To say it was a funny reaction would be the greatest understatement of history.
Anyway, after waiting long tortuous minutes till he stopped crying dramatically, we'd decided to not do that bit and change it up completely.
Max went home and got a packet of condoms-which were extra small in size- and I went and got a bottle of soy sauce.
Now this is where it gets interesting. We used the condom as water balloons. Though instead of water, it was soy sauce. And Max got an extra equipment: a bucket of feathers. So I assume you readers know what happened right?
Time flied by and it was after eight.
I was feeling beyond scared and doubting everything at the time. Though I had every right too.
I couldn't video the prank because I had to throw the feathers, so we ended up parking Max's dad's car across the cranky's house and somehow positioned the phone on it.
Now if there's one thing you should know about Max, is that he's practically the best climber and jumper you'll ever meet. At least, that's my opinion. He's showed me videos of him back in Mexico-his country- where he's jumping from one rooftop to another. Whilst it seemed cool at first, I eventually realised that the roofs had quite a small gap between eachother and were a little lower to the ground than here in Australia.
So that was one of the things I was nervous about. Because Max had climbed up onto the roof of the cranky family's house to drop the condoms on Mr. Juese, who was supposed to come out after I knocked on the door.
Though people don't always get what they want in life and I think Max learnt that the hard way. I also think that it was impossible for Max to climb up a roof and walk on it without the owners inside hearing the noise above.
Which explained why the stupid son came outside again, with both his parents behind him. Now, I was hiding right around the side corner of the house-next to the stinky bins- with the damned bucket in my hand.
I don't know what overcame Max. Maybe he panicked or maybe he just went a little coo-coo in the head but he dropped the condoms.
Though they didn't hit Mr. Juese nor his son. 706Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOEpZsedSD
They hit Mrs. Juese.
And to make it worse, Max was clumsily walking on the roof whilst Mr. Juese was yelling a bunch of gibberish and the son was trying to climb the fence to get to Max.706Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiksKra7ExT
I thought one thing at that moment. I could drop the bucket and run or throw the bucket at the woman and run. I ended up doing the latter.
I literally ran past and threw the bucket of feathers-not the bucket, just the feathers- at the woman and bolted to the car-a safe distance away.
If you thought young me was going to ditch Max then you actually thought wrong-no offence. I'd stayed by the car, far away from a surprised and angry couple and a son who saw what I'd done and made his way towards my small little innocent self. I don't know what provoked me to do it, but I started making weird faces at him and then ran off when he started running after me.
Most. Scariest. Experience. Ever.
Though to shorten the story, I ran away screaming my lungs out and the damned son stopped chasing me when he realised that Max wasn't on the roof anymore.
Max had jumped and sprained his ankle, but managed to snag away the phone and bolt for his life with not just the son chasing him, but Mr. Juese too. Though the old man failed not even half way through. As for the wife...I think she went inside to shower. I mean, considering her state, that's what I would've done.
How I found all that out?
We watched the video and it was pretty crappy quality, but still accurate enough to see.
Did we get in trouble? You bet we did. My mum actually chased me around the house with a slipper in her hand. I think I lost about 3kilos that day. So much running.
On the bright side though, they didn't call the police. Especially since Mr. Juese was pretty close with my dad.
Though I had to say, it was a pretty frantic experience.
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