「冇錯......接受自己嘅病情係第一步......」黃醫生點點頭,「呢個係個好嘅開始......」
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「醫生......我記憶好混亂......咩都記唔清......」每當我嘗試回憶起過去,我就頭痛欲裂......淨係偶爾諗起少少畫面......
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空無一人嘅課室......可怕嘅怪物......仲有會折磨學生嘅教授......血腥嘅畫面......堆積嘅屍體......
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「我記得......有怪物......折磨學生嘅怪獸......我嘗試逃走......係真嘅!我講嘅嘢都係真嘅!」我對住醫生大叫:「我根本冇精神病!」
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「病情反覆......睇嚟301號病人嘅情況被預想中嚴重得多......」黃醫生好失望咁望住我,然後又講,「我嘗試複述一下你嘅幻想......」
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「你幻想呢個世界入面有可怕嘅怪物......佢哋係超越人類嘅存在......你被呢啲怪物追殺......而且你每死一次,就會返生一次,然後就遇到其他怪物......」
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「係真㗎......我講嘅嘢係真㗎!」我反駁,但黃醫生無視我。
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「你稱呼啲怪物為教授......佢哋可以隨意用『懲罰』嘅方法嚟折磨學生,啲學生冇得反抗之餘,仲因為『學校』嘅規則而被逼承受無盡嘅折磨......你一直都好想逃離呢度......但你又講唔講得出你想逃離到邊度?」
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的確係咁......我腦海入面浮現嘅畫面對得上黃醫生講嘅嘢......我當時有一個好強烈嘅念頭......就係離開呢度......返返去......?
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要返返去邊度?我淨係知道要返去,但至於返到去邊度,我真係記都記唔起......
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「一直以嚟,你嘅學習壓力都好大,成日要上堂、讀書,但成績依然未如理想......喺呢個情況下,你開始出現妄想症......將日常見到嘅教授幻想成怪物,而學業壓力就以『折磨』嘅形式喺你妄想入面出現......由於你屋企人對你寄予厚望,所以你唔敢退學,一直努力讀書,所以喺你幻想入面學生需要承受無盡嘅折磨......你被現實壓到抖唔到氣,所以好想逃離現實......呢個先係點解你會有逃離一切嘅諗法。」黃教授用可憐嘅目光嚟望住我,「但你始終要分清,虛幻同現實嘅分別......喺現實到,你情緒失控殺死咗你嘅同學,呢個係無法改變嘅事實......你唯一可以做嘅係,配合治療......」
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我搏命回想過去......我記得有個女仔......佢曾經捨身保護過我......佢叫咩名?
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佢好似叫......阿晴!
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「唔係......我記得!當時有個叫阿晴嘅女仔救過我......我哋喺埋一齊......我哋講好咗要一齊離開呢度!呢個......絕對唔係我嘅幻想!」
黃醫生用憐憫嘅眼神望住我,令我覺得好唔自在。
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「做咩咁望住我?」
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「你口中嘅女仔,阿晴......其實係你細妹嚟。喺嚟充滿壓力嘅日常生活入面,佢係你嘅心靈支柱,所以喺你嘅妄想入面佢先會以救世主嘅身份出現......」黃醫生解釋:「至於點解你會喺幻想入面同佢一齊......可能係源自你心入面對佢嘅愛慕,亦都可能代表你想識返個女朋友......」
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唔通......我真係有精神病?
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「你想唔想見返阿晴?」
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「嗯......」我點點頭。
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「阿晴喺醫院出面等緊你......佢一直都好擔心你嘅病情......」黃醫生繼續講:「只要你好好配合療程,就自然可以好快見返佢......你要做嘅係食藥。」
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「食藥?」
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「冇錯......」黃醫生拎咗樽藥出嚟,「呢啲藥有鎮定作用,可以幫助改善你嘅情況......食完藥之後,我可以畀你出去行下......同其他病人溝通,咁樣對你嘅病情或者會有啲幫助。」
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佢行過嚟解開咗我件拘束衣,然後遞咗粒白色藥丸畀我......
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我猶疑咗一下,就吞咗粒藥丸落肚。
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「嗯,301室病人食咗藥......」黃醫生喺張表格上面寫寫填填,然後又望住我,「你食咗藥,就可以出去行下......記住,唔好入其他病人嘅病房......同埋如果啲病人話呢度嘅醫生虐待佢哋,無視就好......畢竟佢哋唔係個個好似你咁,咁合作......」
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雖然我覺得有啲奇怪,但我都照行咗出間房。
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外面係條走廊嚟,但就一個人都冇......路牌寫住呢層係重症病房......
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陽光從窗口照入條走廊到,我向窗口外面望去,出面竟然係一望無際嘅大海嚟,仲有藍天白雲,令人覺得好舒服......
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我沿住條走廊行,然後又去下其他層數望下......但成間病院我一個人都見唔到......病房嘅門都緊緊閂實......
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我行到去四樓圖書室入面先見到另一個病人......裡面有一個身穿病人服嘅院友睇緊書......件衫上面寫住302號......
佢應該係我隔離房嘅病人嚟......
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呢個時候,佢好似察覺到我,就放低本書......佢個樣竟然同啱啱個黃醫生一模一樣!但佢着緊嘅反而係病人服......莫非係孖生兄弟?
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「你好,我叫黃世傑,係302室嘅病人......你叫咩名?」佢微笑住問我。
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