「我叫陳志強......」我好疑惑咁望住佢,「呢度有個醫生同你個樣一樣,個名都一樣......」
276Please respect copyright.PENANAlzQKzGHORl
我望一望枱上面嘅書......書名寫住《真理教會密典》。雖然唔知呢本係咩書嚟,但一見到個書名就莫名令我反感,作嘔......
276Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7YoAKdFRj
「你講緊『黃世傑』醫生?」黃世傑同我講:「理論上嚟講,我曾經係佢嘅一部分......病態嘅一部分。」
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「病態?」
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「冇錯......作為一個醫生,我應該優先考慮病人嘅病情,而唔係佢哋嘅感受......呢啲無謂嘅憐憫......係病態、錯誤嘅,自然需要糾正。」黃世傑好認真咁講:「自然,我呢個錯誤嘅部份就被『割離』,以病人嘅身份喺度生活,而其餘嘅『我』就作為一個醫生喺度醫治病人。」
276Please respect copyright.PENANABogmLcdSBS
「即係簡單啲講,你同我見過嘅『黃世傑』醫生,都係同一個人嚟......但乜一個人可以分拆成兩個架咩?同埋你個病係咩一回事?咩係無謂嘅憐憫?」
276Please respect copyright.PENANAJpXCPqh4i6
「咁點解唔可以拆分成兩個?只要認知足夠,自然可以做到......」黃世傑反問返我,同時又用手捉實我隻手......我嘗試掙紮,但佢捉得我好實。
276Please respect copyright.PENANAb9HiITZ0Ye
咩係「認知」?我記得我對呢隻字印象好深刻......但我一諗返之前嘅嘢,個頭就好痛......
276Please respect copyright.PENANAojb58NJ1tG
「至於個病,你覺得我有冇病?」黃世傑繼續問我......同時,佢隻手指喺我掌心到郁下郁下......佢好似係寫緊字?!
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有......人......在......監......聽!
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有人喺度偷聽緊!我頓時望向四周圍,但成間圖書室淨係得我哋兩個人。
276Please respect copyright.PENANAVPQV8Fhi7Q
「做咩四圍望?快啲答我,我到底有冇病。」黃世傑唔耐煩咁問我。
276Please respect copyright.PENANAXedXLIidXb
依家會監聽我哋嘅,淨係得醫生......聽緊呢段對話嘅佢哋,一定會認為我眼前嘅黃世傑係有精神病......要順住佢哋嘅諗法嚟答問題。
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「有......你有病。」
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「你冇講錯,所以我要積極接受治療......要每日食藥,同埋研讀《真理教會秘典》......因為神明嘅說話可以洗滌我哋嘅心靈,令我可以快啲康復......」黃世傑指一指枱面上嘅書,「你有冇諗過成間醫院嘅其他病人去晒邊度?」
「唔知道......」啱啱我一個人都見唔到。
276Please respect copyright.PENANAx4vEAqcCgS
「佢哋自然喺自己嘅病房到努力讀書......讀呢本《真理教會秘典》......唔準時食藥同睇呢本嘢嘅話,就要接受懲罰......我係因為病情理想,先有得出嚟行下......不過都有可能係另一個『我』嘅緣故......」
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「乜可以咁樣強逼病人睇書㗎咩......睇完真係有用?」
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「因為醫生要為我哋嘅『病情』着想......」黃世傑特別強調「病情」兩隻字,「我哋作為病人,要配合醫生嘅療程。」
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同時,佢隻手指繼續喺我嘅手心寫字......
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有病......嘅......係呢個......世界......定係......我哋......?
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「當然,睇嚟我都要好好熟讀呢本書......」我心中一寒,但仍然面不改色咁回答。
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有病嘅係我,定係呢度啲醫生?我不由得咁諗......不過啲精神病人往往都覺得自己冇病......我真係精神病人都未頂......
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曾經嘅記憶......究竟代表啲乜嘢?我係咪真係見過啲怪物,定係全部都係我嘅幻想嚟?我係咪真係......親手殺死咗我嘅好兄弟......林子軒?
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頭腦一片混沌......
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「同埋記住要準時食藥......聽我嘅醫生講,呢排唔知點解啲藥材短缺,成間醫院都唔夠藥用......」黃世傑又繼續講。
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醫院竟然唔夠藥......仲要係成間醫院都唔夠用......
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「啲藥有咩特別?你食嘅係咪都係啲白色藥丸?」我連忙問道。
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「冇錯,呢隻藥有鎮定作用,而且對我哋嘅病情都有一定幫助......」黃世傑回答:「呢隻藥已經用咗好耐,我記得當時我仲係醫生嘅時候,啲病人試過集體逃走,仲打傷咗唔少醫生......所以啲醫生從此就一直開呢啲藥畀病人食......」
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硬係感覺隻藥有少少問題......但我要當住醫生嘅面食藥,避都避唔到。
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「係呢,你係幾時入院㗎?」我問一個我好好奇嘅問題。
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「嗯......係幾日之前嘅事嚟......我都唔知點解本體咁突然分咗我出嚟......」黃世傑喺度回憶,「而且同一日,間醫院都新嚟咗個醫生,亦都係我嘅主治醫生嚟。佢好似係叫......梁啟源醫生?」
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