Ximena walked down the middle of a poorly lit street, looking down at each step she took. Her conscious mind was nowhere and everywhere, searching for answers. But there was a part of her subconscious that knew why she had returned and guided her steps to find familiar ground. Each step she took was as silent as a cat stalking for prey. She was now a hunter. But a hunter that still needed some guidance. The crow landed on a Stop sign and tapped to get her attention. Ximena stopped and looked up to find the sound. When the crow knew it had her attention, it flew down a side street. Ximena ran to follow and began to recognize where she was. She realized where the crow was leading her.
When she reached her apartment, Ximena walked up to the door and tried to turn the handle. Of course it was locked. She pounded on the door in frustration. Then she turned around, leaned against the door, and slumped to the ground. The crow landed next to her and began tapping a rock in the dirt by her feet. Ximena reached out to touch the rock and her mind took her to another memory.
She was outside with Jonah. He put a key into a fake rock and set it on the ground. Ximena was standing with her arms crossed.
“Look, the key is going to be right here,” said Jonah.
His tone was condescending but he was just messing with her.
“I don't do all the time,” said Ximena.
“No, you only lock yourself out maybe every other day,” he said, smiling.
She wasn’t amused.
“Do you want to sleep on the couch tonight?” she asked him.
“Sorry,” said Jonah. “Look, I appreciate that you focus so well on your cases, it makes you one of the best and it's one of the many reasons I fell in love with you. But that focus sometimes makes you space out on the little things.”
The memory ended and she picked up the “rock.” She turned it over and slid open the secret compartment. The key was still there. She quickly stood and unlocked the door. In her rush to get in she almost forgot to take the key with her and lock the door behind her. She was home and there was only one thing she wanted to do right now.
Ximena shed her torn and dirty clothing, took a shower, and was now wearing a robe. She was sitting on her bed, flipping through a photo album of pictures of her and Jonah. The crow was on the bed next to her, observing. Ximena came across copies of her sonograms and froze. The moment she was going to lose herself in crying the crow cawed at her.
“What do you want from me?” she asked without looking up at the bird.
The crow cawed again. Ximena shut her eyes tightly. She was close to tears and now very close to rage. It cawed at her again. She could feel its intention, but her connection to the bird was still fuzzy.
“Great! I can come back from the dead, but getting a talking bird is out of the question?” she asked the universe.
The crow hopped to the floor, walked over to the closet, and tapped at the door. Ximena got up and walked to the closet. She flung the door open almost hitting the crow. It jumped back and flew up to her bed and cawed.
“What! What do you want? What’s in here?” she asked it.
It just cawed at her. Ximena marched into the closet and began throwing clothes and boxes out into the bedroom. When there was nothing left to throw she walked out of the closet and sat next to the black bird, defeated.
“There's nothing in there!” she yelled to the crow, pointing in the closet.
The crow flew into the closet and began tapping on a box that was sitting on the floor. The box was labeled, edgy cloths Jonah bought me, written in her handwriting. She meant it to be a funny jab at the man she loved.
“You’re kidding right?” she asked.
She walked into the closet, stepping over the bird as it walked back out to the bedroom. Ximena opened the box and sighed. She picked up a pair of skinny black jeans. At the bottom of the box was a case of Halloween makeup. Her mind flashed back to Halloween of the previous year.
Jonah was sitting on their bed, having just opened a box.
“It's Halloween. You know, when you get to be something you’re not.” he said.
Ximena held up the jeans and slim long sleeve black shirt.
“I'm not a Halloween person. I just don't see the appeal in changing what you look and act like,” said Ximena.
He shook his head.
“Because it's fun and it's only one night?” he replied.
She dropped the clothes onto the bed.
“Please tell me I didn’t fall in love with a man who has a Goth chick fetish,” said Ximena.
It took him a second to answer.
“No,” he said weakly.
Oh lord, he does have a thing for Goth chicks. Maybe for his birthday. Maybe. she thought to herself.
She couldn’t very well say it out loud and give the guy hope.
“Can't I be some sort of goth type person or whatever this is, with a little less depression?” she asked.
“Would you rather some sort of colorful outfit that is some sort of slutty version of something?” he countered, lightheartedly.
Just for that she decided to do the sexy Goth thing for his birthday and then suddenly have a headache. In the meantime, Ximena looked like she wanted to punch him.
“Thin ice, buddy,” she said.
“Fine, you win. Again. We won’t go the party,” he said, feeling defeated.
“You know you love me,” she said, enjoying the win.
“X, sometimes it boggles the mind,” he replied.
Ximena hugged Jonah and kissed him on the cheek. Then she threw him a bone.
“I'm impressed you got the sizes right,” she said.
Ximena opened her eyes back in the real world. She stared at the jeans in her hands.
“You win, Jonah,” she said.
The crow walked back into the closet, hopped in the box, and tapped on the makeup case.
“This isn’t enough?” she asked it.
It cawed at her. She still could not understand it, but she felt it’s meaning even clearer.
“Now you have makeup tips? And what exactly should I paint?” she asked it.
It cawed and stretchered out its wings as if saying something that was obvious. Ximena was surprise at how much she liked the idea. The crow cawed again. It was weird. It wasn’t a language exactly, but she could clearly sense the meaning of its cawing.
“Okay. It’s a good idea. You can shut up already,” she said.
When she was done, Ximena walked out of her apartment for what she knew was the last time. She had no more life here and there was nothing she could do about that. She also felt strange peace with being dead. But that peace was not enough to tame her restless soul. Her spirit would only truly find rest when something was made right. She put the key back in the fake rock and left it where it had been. There was no real point to doing that. Jonah had his key. But it was one little way of putting the world back that way it was and Ximena felt like she needed one last little goodbye to her life among the living.
She walked down the dark street through the dim and sometimes flickering glow of the old streetlights. She wore the long sleeve black shirt, black jeans, and the all black high tops that completed the ensemble. Over the shirt she wore a memento from Jonah’s youth, a Baja jacket with black and dark gray vertical stripes. He got it as a teenager and it was one of his favorite things in the world even though the coarse woolen fabric could be scratchy on the skin. It was her one addition to the outfit. The baggie hood shielded her face from the moon and streetlights.
Ximena stopped under one of the few fully functional streetlights, turned around to look back at her old world, and pulled back the hood to let the artificial glow illuminate her face. A face that was now covered with the likeness of La Calavera Catrina, the skull faced woman. A base of white covered Ximena’s face entirely. Around her eyes was black to emulate the empty sockets of a skull. A pattern of small white flower petals was drawn in black around the black voids. Her nose was painted black, her lips were painted as white teeth, and simple lines were made to mark her cheeks. Traditionally, a small cross is sometimes painted on the forehead. Ximena painted the black image of a crow with its wings stretched. The black bird landed on her shoulder and she sighed. Ximena would miss this life and those she should have shared it with.
She turned back to her new road and walked out of the light. The cold of death no longer made her shiver. The only chill she now felt was the bitter purpose of the task ahead. Vengeance called her and she picked up her pace. When her walk turned into a jog, the crow left her shoulder and began to fly above. She felt it leading her and could see through its eyes. Her jog became a run and soon after a sprint. Her eyes in the sky guided her through empty streets and shadow so that no one saw her. Ximena was dead but her body never felt more alive. She felt strong. Ximena smiled.15Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsL9dEXRVvS
