If only
It's been a month since I told Jay, which makes me miss him more just the fact that I know he's the father of my babies. I really miss when he sneaks up behind me and rocks me back and forth singing songs. I cry myself to sleep now I'm so alone all the time, I cry when I hear this one song When The Storm End. It reminds me of him I have no idea why but it does,
when the song comes on.
What if the storm ends?
And I don't see you
As you are now
Ever again
The perfect halo
Of gold hair and lightning
Sets you off against
The planets last dance
It reminds me of Jay theses locks of curls and blue eyes.
I’m scared he’s not going to come back because of me, because he’s the father, maybe even because he’s not ready to be a father, maybe he doesn’t love me. I start crying and on top of that I don’t feel good.
In the bathroom
Getting undress is hard but it feels good I love to take shower so much it helps with the pain all the pain, and fear of stuff. I turn on the shower and get in the water hits my chest and rolls down my stomach, I lower myself to the bottom of the shower.
The Band Mates
“Do you think Nathan Would like pink stuff for the girls or other colors?” Tom
“I think Nathan well put the girls in anything as long as the look good” Jay
“How about to baby Misfits onesies” Max
“ya that’s a good idea how about anything with coke a cola stuff, no how about baby Converse that would be to cute?” Siva
“This baby shower isn’t going to be big you know it’s just us and how we going to get all this stuff with out people asking questions?” Tom
“Order of line!” Siva
“Smart Siva didn’t even think of that really” Jay
“When do we start were almost home/Nathan no one tell him ok it is a surprise” Max said getting out of the car in Dublin
Back to Nathan
I think I’ve been in the shower for an hour but I don’t want to move I’m still crying but this time I don’t know why, When I hear the door of the bathroom open.
“Nathan we’re back” Jay said as the shower curtains open and Nathan was hugging him butt naked before Jay could say a other word
“I missed you” Nathan said as the guys open the rest of the door open
“I missed you to Nathan” Max
“no I missed you all” Nathan said as he stepped back and the guys giggled and Jay handed him a towel
45 Minuets later
I walk out of my room to see the guys smiling.
“ya ya I know I was naked funny I know I’m as big as a whale” Nathan
“Actually we were thing how cute you look pregnant, pregnant and naked you should model if you could” Tom
Nathans cheeks turned a little pink
“You know what I’ve been thinking about since I’m have a kid myself just from a girl I knocked up, what are you going to name them?” Tom
“yes actually I really like Emma and I like the middle name Ann I think I want them both to have the same middle name” Nathan
“How about Annie or something” Siva
“Annie Ann isn’t that a little girl in a movie no” Nathan
“How about Attie” Jay
“I like that Attie Ann Mcguiness” Nathan
“My last name?” Jay
“ya with one of them and mine the other” Nathan
“Emma Ann Sykes ya I like that a lot” Jay
“Attie Ann Mcguiness and Emma Ann Sykes that is just to cute” Tom
“The Ann girls” Max
“That’s a onesies I’m going to make one that says that” Siva
“Like we are the Ann Girls with arrows pointing at each other” Nathan
“ya” Siva
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