My eyes opened slowly. I could feel the crustiness coating my lids, a groan escaping my lips as I rubbed it away. The memories of what happened last night slowly came back to me. Garrett and I getting into a fight, Leena and I chasing away our sorrows with reality TV and ice cream. From the taste of my breath, booze was involved as well. That might have been a mistake.
Our ice cream bowls were sitting on the table and the TV was still blinking away moving pictures. In this case, it was morning cartoons. Man, I missed those days. Popcorn, candy, and various other snacks were scattered on the floor. The majority of the mess was made up by the empty wrappers and containers, all easy clean up thank goodness. I will definitely have to vacuum later today though for the crumbs. That is, if my head could handle it.
My head was throbbing. I closed my eyes to keep it from getting worse. Ibuprofen and water. I needed to get up and grab those things and then, and only then, could I go back to my laying position. My hands moved under my shoulders in preparation to push myself up, but I ran into a problem. I couldn’t move my lower body. I frowned and carefully turned my head, wincing at the pain that came with it. Leena was sprawled over my legs, head on the arm rest of the couch while half of her body hung off. She was snoring up a storm.
Good, she’s knocked out.
The first few nights she stayed over, she wasn’t sleeping much. Nightmares of seeing her mother’s body flooded her dreams. She would imagine how her mother died that night. Sometimes, it wasn’t even her mother who lived out her final moments. Sometimes, it was her. Other times, it was me. This was probably the first night she didn’t have that problem and I did not want to mess it up just to take care of myself.
Carefully, I slid my legs out from under her, using an arm to keep her body on the couch. My knees were placed on the area rug and I slowly slid the rest of her body up. She didn’t even twitch. I released a sigh of relief and slowly stood up, trying not to move too sharply and make this headache worse. For some reason, I only had one sock still on my feet and I mentally shook my head. Jesus, how did emotions have such a huge impact on us?
I shuffled to the kitchen and filled up a cup of water from the sink. I took a big gulp, the cool water creating a momentary release from the pain and awkwardness I was experiencing. I placed the cup down, resting my hands against the counter as I let my head sag for a moment. This wasn’t a healthy way to cope, I knew that. So why was I allowing us to behave this way?
My head lifted itself gently and I found empty liquor bottles laying around, as well as used shot glasses. I chuckled a bit to myself as I recalled the challenges we gave ourselves. One challenge was to see who could take more shots than the other before feeling like they were going to puke. Obviously, Leena won that one. She has more experience drinking than I do. Her victory was somewhat short lived though when after her final shot, she spewed the contents of her stomach into my trash can. I grimaced. I’d have to take out the trash too. Maybe Leena should do that. It was her guts in there after all.
I reached into the designated medicine cabinet and grabbed the ibuprofen, tossing four pills into my palm. The pills found their way into my mouth and I chased them down with another big gulp of water. I scrunched my face from the feeling of them sliding down my throat.
A loud snore came floating in from the living room and I glanced in that direction. I should prepare some pills and water for her as well. I was sure she’d appreciate that when she wakes up, or if she wakes up. Maybe she’d sleep the whole day through. In curiosity, I looked at the oven clock, squinting my eyes at the time. There is no way it was already two in the afternoon. I never slept in this late.
Ugh.
Might as well sleep the day away. Not like I have anywhere I need to be today. I prepped a glass of water for Leena and refilled my own. Shoving the bottle of ibuprofen into my pocket, I grabbed the glasses and made my way back to the living room. I placed the water glasses on a couple coasters and set the ibuprofen between them, at an angle where Leena should be able to see it when she comes to. I sat down on my air mattress and rubbed my eyes, hissing slightly at the pain it brought to my head.
Cursing the hangover, I caught a glimpse at my phone. Maybe he has texted me, apologizing for how he acted last night. I hesitated. Garrett didn’t see any fault in his actions last night. Would he really think any differently after one night? I chewed on my lip nervously, tasting blood as the skin cracked. There’s always hope, right?
Fuck it. I grabbed my phone and immediately turned the brightness down before I did anything else. My breath held itself in my chest as I glanced at my notifications. A few spam emails, Tommy liked my photo on Facebook, few video game notifications… No messages from Garrett. My heart sunk. I placed my phone on the table and laid down in a fetal position. Did he really not see what he did wrong? Or was he just too proud to admit he was in the wrong? Either way, not cool.
I sighed and buried my face in my pillow, my body feeling heavy again. Sleeping the day away really didn’t sound like a terrible idea now. When you’re asleep, you could avoid your problems for the most part. That was, if you’re lucky enough to not have those problems invade your dreams. With how exhausted I felt, I didn’t think that would be much of an issue. I closed my eyes and wrapped myself up in my blanket, ready to toss my problems aside. Although there was one I couldn’t run away from just then. My eyes snapped back open.
I had to pee.
~
“Hey, girl. Wake up!”
My arms flailed out, ready to hit whoever invaded my apartment. I sat up, gasping, my fists up and ready to meet skin.
“Yikes!” Leena jumped back, hands up in the air. “Girl chill, it’s just me!”
“Jesus, Leena! You scared the shit out of me!” I hissed out at her, throwing my pillow in her direction. Thankfully I slept away the worst of my hangover, and the pain was just a dull throb. I could tell she was trying hard to hold back laughter, her face bright red from the effort it took.
“I’m sorry, but it’s already nine in the evening. We missed the entire day, and we skipped my favorite meal of the day!” She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I want dinner, and I want you to eat it with me.”
I blinked at her, my mind stuck on a loading screen. “Dinner?”
Leena rolled her eyes at me and plopped on my air mattress onto her knees. She took her hands and cupped my cheeks in them for a moment before smacking them lightly. “I think the alcohol took some of your brain cells last night.”
I swatted her hands away from my face, causing her to giggle. “My brain isn’t catching up with my body in terms of being awake. Give me a second,” I mumbled somewhat grumpily.
“Alright, alright. I’m going to make us some quesadillas. You want yours with salsa?” She pushed herself back onto her feet and started walking toward the kitchen, not even waiting for my response. I wasn’t all that worried. We ate quesadillas enough that week, I’m sure she knows how I like them by now.
With a groan, I fell back down and made a burrito of myself with my blanket. I wonder how long Leena has been awake to be this chipper. I wonder why I wasn’t that chipper after sleeping the day away. My stomach grumbled in response, causing me to sigh. Right.
I rolled off the mattress, my blanket still wrapped around my body as I got on my feet and shuffled to the kitchen. I leaned against the wall and watched Leena put together our quesadillas. It was silent for a couple minutes as we both got lost in our own little worlds.
Finally, Leena broke the silence. “So what exactly happened between you and Garrett last night? I heard yelling.”
I groaned in response, rubbing my eyes with my blanketed hands. “He got mad because I was making you a priority over him. He doesn’t like me being a good friend apparently. And why does he get to be mad about that when we’re not even an official thing? We've known each other barely two weeks!” I threw my hands up in the air, angry again just thinking about the events that occurred.
“That’s kind of a jerk move. I wonder why he got like that,” Leena said, almost to herself as she dished up our food, dumping a spoonful of salsa and guacamole on each quesadilla. She grabbed our plates and moved passed me, settling on the couch. I followed her, sitting down with my legs crossed, my plate in the center of my lap. We both had two quesadillas to fill our bellies.
The smell wafted up to my nose and saliva filled my mouth. All my angry thoughts instantly disappeared, and I shoved a quesadilla in my mouth, moaning from the taste. “God, this is fucking good.”
Leena laughed. “Glad you like it. Used my secret ingredient.”
“What would that be?” I asked her with my mouth still full.
“The power of starvation.”
I snorted, swallowing the giant bite. “That definitely helps.”
She chuckled and shook her head at me. “So what are you going to do about Garrett?”
I sighed and leaned my head back into the couch. “I don’t know. I’m having a hard time accepting what happened last night. I keep waiting for an apology, but it hasn’t showed up.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I just… Like, what the fuck, you know?”
Leena nodded and rubbed my shoulder. “I get it.” We stayed quiet and we focused on our food for a few minutes. “How much do you like this guy?”
I thought about it for a moment. “I…” My eyebrows furrowed. I tried again. “When I’m around him, I feel like I’m able to actually live my life. He breaks me out of this shell, that I didn’t even realize I had,” I said softly. My teeth automatically close around my lower lip, biting down on it.
“Girl, I think you need to call him up and meet with him, talk this out. There has to be a reason why he was acting like a douche, and maybe it was a good one.” She rested her elbow on the back of the couch so she could place her head onto her hand as she looked toward me. “It may not be excusable, but maybe it’ll be for good reason. He sounds like he could be good for you if you can figure each other out.”
I took the final bites of my quesadillas as my brain digested her words. She did have a point. There could be an underlying cause for his behavior last night. Maybe he wasn’t angry with me. Maybe something had happened earlier in the day, or even earlier in the week that had him worked up. I needed to give him a chance to explain. I needed some kind of closure from last night, whether it meant kicking him out of my life or just kicking out this stupid fight.
“Yeah, it would. I need to do it sooner rather than later. It’s going to eat me up if I don’t.” I sighed and picked up my phone, opening my messages up to Garrett’s contact.
We need to talk. Where can we meet?
I stared at the conversation, waiting. After a couple minutes, there was still no response. No sign that he has even read my message. Leena leaned over, watching the screen with me. We both seemed to hold our breath as the time kept ticking by. I squirmed from the anticipation, tapping my fingers on the back of my phone.
Five minutes pass. Nothing.
Ten minutes pass. Still nothing.
Fifteen minutes? Nah.
Twenty minutes came along and suddenly there was a change on the screen. Leena and I sat up straight as delivered turned into read underneath my message.
“Oh shoot, here it comes. What’s going to happen?” Leena whispered, her chin resting on my shoulder as we waited.
Three little bubbles popped up on the screen, telling us he was typing. My heart was pounding in my chest, scared for what kind of response he might produce. After about half a minute, the bubbles disappeared, but no message replaced it. We both groaned in frustration.
I tossed the phone onto my pillow on the air mattress and crossed my arms. “What the fuck, man. Is he going to be that immature about it?”
“I guess so. But it’s not a bad thing, at least you dodged the bullet nice and– “
Ding.
Leena stopped talking as the text tone of my phone rang out. We looked at each other and back at the phone, and then back at each other.
“What do I do?” I asked her, panicked.
“Girl, pick it up!” Leena replied, exasperated. She kicked me onto the floor, earning a glare from me in return. It didn’t last long as the panic quickly seeped back into my bones. Slowly, I crawled on my hands and knees toward my pillow, to my phone… To my future plan.
I picked up the phone and turned it in my hand, staring at the dark screen. I turned my attention back to Leena. “I’m scared,” I breathed out.
She sent me a nod of encouragement. “You can do it. Whatever happens, I’m right here for you.”
I sent a nod in return and pushed the lock button, the screen glowing to life. His name appeared at the top of my notifications. “It’s him.”
Leena dropped down next to me and stared at my screen as I unlocked it, preparing to read the words he had said. The panic that took over my body turned into anxiety as I looked over his message.
My place. 621 Morris Blvd.
~
I stood in front of the wooden door, taking deep breaths. I didn’t know how long I had been standing here trying to gather myself. Was he going to yell at me again? Would he apologize the moment I got in there? Would I get him to apologize at all? Maybe I needed to start by apologizing for not giving him enough attention in the first place. I had been avoiding him, even if it wasn't on purpose.
Alright, I had a game plan. I inhaled deeply and raised my fist, hitting the door a few times to announce my presence. My weight shuffled between my feet as I continued working on my breathing, listening for the sound of footsteps coming my way. It took a minute, but the thuds eventually came, and the door opened.
There he was, gorgeous as ever. His hair was standing up all over the place and his clothes were wrinkled. Under his eyes, shadows were lightly lining his skin. The longer I looked at him, the worse he started to look. It was like the fight was tearing him up as much as it was me. There was no light in his eyes like the last few times I saw him, excluding the last few minutes of our last encounter.
“God… You look miserable,” I commented on his appearance out loud, meeting his eyes with my own.
Garrett chuckled and stepped aside, giving me some space to come in. I stepped in and slipped off my shoes as he closed and locked the door. “Take a seat,” he said as he gestured toward the living room. “Make yourself at home.”
His place was nice. The light colors on the walls and floors mixed with the darker furniture was incredibly pleasing to the eyes. All the furniture was modern, straight edges on everything, slick glass tables, and expensive looking leather seating. The lights in the living room were on a dimmer, setting a slight glow over everything. I didn’t realize how much money he possessed, or seemed to possess anyway.
His main floor was completely open from the living room to the kitchen, the only hallway in sight was when you first came in that separated the entrance from the rest of the house. His front door opened up into an entry with black tile floors. On the right side of the entry was a small room that held a half bathroom. The entry extended on the left with the space to do his laundry.
I took a seat on the dark leather couch, curling one leg under me as the other hung off the couch. Garrett took the spot next to me, leaving some space between our bodies. Tension hung thick in the air, making me squirm in discomfort. I cleared my throat.
“I’m sorry.”
Garrett looked at me, puzzled. “You’re sorry?”
I nodded and hugged my knee up to my chest. “You were right. I haven’t been giving you a lot of attention lately. My focus had been on my best friend. But she’s been needing me less and less and I still took my attention away from you. So, for that, I am sorry.”
Garrett took some time to let that sink in and he nodded. “Thank you for the apology. I forgive you for your actions.”
I waited for him to continue speaking, but no other words came out of his mouth. “Do you have something you wanted to say?”
He tilted his head in curiosity. “No? Is there something else I should be saying?”
My eyebrow lifted in disbelief. “How about an apology for you overreacting?”
Garrett laughed. Full on laughter. “Me? Apologizing? Oh, Princess. I don’t think I have anything to apologize for.”
Suddenly angry, I sprung to my feet and faced him. I could feel my face and ears warming up from the frustration. “Seriously? You don’t think you overreacted at all last night?”
The laughter eased, his face serious as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His posture was cool and collected, making me more upset than I already was. “No. We’re dating. I think I deserved the attention I wasn’t getting at the time. And this is not how I thought it would be like when I finally got it back.”
His tone was ice cold, his words chilling me on the inside, but I still took the time to return a laugh of my own. “You’re fucking insane. My best friend lost someone who was dear to her, and you think she didn’t deserve the attention she got because it wasn’t put toward you?”
“That’s exactly it. I’m glad you finally understand,” he said, seeming bored with this conversation. He leaned back into the couch, his arms casually tossed across his chest.
I started pacing in a circle. No way. There’s no way he’s this dense. More laughter bubbled up as my anger and frustration grew. How could I have liked a man so selfish? This wasn’t me. And then I remembered my conversation with Leena. I came here to figure out the underlying cause for this behavior, and I’m not doing that right now. I need to figure out what’s underneath this gross persona.
I planted my feet in front of his. “Is there something that’s making you feel like you need more attention than her? More than someone who’s going through a rough time?” I asked him softly.
He stared at me blankly, no sign of what he was feeling being expressed. He didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look like he was thinking about something to say. We faced each other in silence for what seemed like hours. Finally, I found the nerve to act.
“If you’re not going to talk, I’m going to leave. Once I leave that front door, you will never see me again, Garrett.” My stomach knotted with anxiety and I balled my hands into fists to keep myself from backing out from my words.
An angry gleam came out in his eyes as he stripped me with his gaze. “You don’t think I’m going through a rough time too? You don’t think I needed your attention as much as she did?” His voice grew in volume toward the end, standing up in front of me. I stumbled back, thrown off by how quickly he moved, my anxiety suddenly sky high. "I am the only one trying right now to make our connection stronger, to see where we will go, Sophie! You're the first girl I have ever felt something for since my fiancée ditched me." He pointed sternly toward the front of the house. "She ran off through that door and ghosted me, just like you're threatening to do to me now!"
His voice was starting to get choked up. His eyes were blinking rapidly, as if he were fighting back tears. “I couldn’t stop her. And I won’t even try to fucking stop you. No one ever stays, so fuck it.” His body grew tense as he laughed and shrugged. His laugh sent chills down my spine. Anxiety wasn't the only thing racing through my veins anymore. “Leave. Just like all the others. Disappoint me just like they did,” he spat.
My breathing picked up, coming out raspy and somewhat panicked. His rigid stance and how his words were coming out terrorized me. My mind kept telling me to run, but my feet were stuck. Garrett continued glaring at me, his chest rising and falling heavily as he himself fought off intense emotions. He paced around the room a few times, looking over at me while he did so. I couldn't break myself free of my frozen state to respond in any form. Finally, he threw up his hands and came marching over.
Adrenaline raced through my veins and I tried to move away, but my body still refused to listen. I squeaked and tried to make myself smaller as he closed the gap between us. He didn’t do what I was expecting. Instead, his hands were placed on my back and at the back of my head, crashing his lips down on mine.
This kiss was hungry and desperate, like he was afraid I would turn into dust at any moment and he needed to indulge before I was gone forever. I stood there in shock, not quite sure how to react at first. The fear and anxiety oozed out of my body as the warmth of his touch clouded over me and I returned the kiss. Our bodies pressed against each other until not even a single atom could fit between us. We clawed at each other, desperate to be closer.
Garrett found the hem of my shirt and sloppily started pulling it up. I pulled back from him just enough to help him throw my shirt over my head and tossed it to the side, letting it catch on a side table lamp. Normally I’d be embarrassed just standing there in just my bra and pants, but there was no time for the embarrassment to come. Once my shirt was off, his lips came crashing right back down, pushing me down onto the couch. I stumbled and fell backwards, the cold leather biting into my bare back.
Garrett looked at me, lust and desire filling his eyes. He stripped from his own shirt and his pants. As he did so, my own pants came off and brushed the floor, leaving us both in just our undergarments. He pushed me down so I was sprawled across the length of the couch and he held himself over me, his bulge grinding against me through his briefs.
I moaned quietly against his lips, causing a growl to rise up from him. He palmed my breasts through my bra for a moment, deciding that the bra was unnecessary for his process. He unclasped it with speed I’d never seen before and tossed it aside. Once that obstacle was out of the way, he grabbed my panties, ripping the fragile lace right off and letting it join the rest of the pile on the floor.
The next half hour was filled with more moans, growling, panting, and lots of sweat. There was so much emotion filling the air as our bodies became one, colliding with each other on numerous occasions. Pleasure spread from my body to his as our passionate dance came to an unwilling end. His naked body collapsed onto mine, his breaths coming out hard and ragged, my own matching. We laid there, not saying anything. Just enjoying being near and the feeling of our skin together. My eyes closed and the events of the past 24 hours flooded the darkness behind my eyelids. It’s crazy how emotional it had been and how it hadn't completely caught up with me yet. Not even an hour ago, we were fighting, and now here we were. Few bad feelings between us.
“I’m sorry.”
My eyes opened, body flailing slightly as Garrett broke the silence, startling me. He chuckled quietly and brushed his fingers against my chest lightly. “What?”
“I said I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I guess I did overreact yesterday, and I’m also sorry for startling you just now.” I couldn’t help the small smile that crossed my lips as I playfully smacked his shoulder. He laughed softly and grabbed my hand, planting a soft kiss on it. “What I did was douchey, I will admit it.” He got quiet for a few seconds. “I guess I was just scared. Whenever I find something good, it never sticks around. And you got distant…”
I brushed a kiss across his lips, cutting him off, those few bad feelings turning into none. “I get it now. I can understand where you came from, and I forgive you. And thank you, for the apology.”
He kissed me back and smiled. “So what does this mean for us now?”
I put on a playful thinking face, my lips pursed. “I don’t know, you tell me.” I grinned.
Garrett teased my lower body with his own, kissing along my neck. I squirmed in anticipation and he smirked. “I think I’m making you my girlfriend now.”
“You only think?” I asked him to give him a hard time about it. He bit down on my neck, shoving his member deep inside me in response. A yelp filled the air, his smirk growing.
“Nah. I know.”
~
Our second go around came to an end and I made my way back to Leena. I told her everything that happened at Garrett’s place and she flipped out, mostly in happiness. She was glad she was right about the underlying reason for his behavior, and honestly, so was I. He really opened up to me and I felt like I understood him and his situation better. Now that I know, I can properly accommodate it.
The next handful of months flew by. Garrett and I were truly official and spent a lot of time together. Sometimes Leena joined in on our adventures and we became a great crew. Garrett and I indulged in our sex life a bit here and there, but we tried to stay out of the bedroom. Some days it worked better than others. We had a few more fights that usually ended with us staying away from each other for a day, but we always made up in the end. We didn’t like being mad at each other.
Things became a comfortable groove of school, work, boyfriend, and best friend. It was happy, it was healthy, and we were going on strong. Garrett and I were even planning on moving in together. My lease was ending in a week and I would take my things and bring them into his own house. I thought nothing could ruin this perfect life I have created for myself.
But then again, I never had been one to be right about things.
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