My automatic response to have been scared out of my wits is to spasm around the same time a million curse words are running through my mind, which until this moment hadn't bothered me that much, but when your face to face with someone as handsome as West everything seems worse. All I want to do is rewind to like two minutes ago and not be as scared to make a move, thanks life for ruining this moment for me. I'm brought out of my thoughts when I feel West's right-hand rubbing circles and swirls on my back.
"Effie, you okay? You've been staring into space for a minute or so, hey, look at me." West is whispering in my ear, which I'm grateful for because I don't need her barging into my room while I'm still in this position. I slowly lift my head up to meet his soft gaze and I gently lean into him to whisper into his ear.
"As much as I would like to continue what was going to hopefully happen, and I really would, I need to go downstairs and talk to my wonderfully timed mother and calm the volcano before it erupts. I don't blame you if you-" I'm stopped when I feel a gentle pressure on my lips and at first I'm taken by surprise but then I finally come to my senses and kiss back, I can feel West's hand on each side of my waist as I pull away and smile, leaning my head against his.
"I didn't want to leave without making my move, but before I go, I'll help you get back into your chair, oh and but your jumper on." I can hear the evident smirk on his lips as he gently pulls the jumper over my head and helps me thread my arms through, I really don't want him to go, or stop touching me just yet but I'll have to survive. Before I know it, I'm gently being lifted off the sofa, with my legs still around West's waist and I take this moment to be braver than I've been in a while and I latch my arms around his neck, pulling his face closer to mine in the process, I slowly lean down and kiss him with slightly more pressure then before, making him smirk and then he kisses me back before slowly lowering me into my chair, eventually pulling away slightly breathless and red.
"I like confident Effie, she knows what she wants." West whispers into my ear, his breathe on my neck and his fingers slightly grazing my stomach as he fastens my lap belt. I take a quick breath in, trying not to spasm as he quickly kisses my neck, then he stands up fully and smirks at my obvious reaction before heading towards by bedroom door.
"before you face your mum, you mind wheeling me out?" He asks before slowly opening my bedroom door, waiting for me to lead the way.
As we get downstairs me and West quickly swap numbers and he gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before slipping out the door, hopefully unnoticed. I take a few moments gathering myself before heading towards the living room to face the music.
"I wondered when you'd come down and show your face." Mum says as soon as I've crept into the room, I sigh, mentally thinking if a sarcastic retort.
"Yeah sorry I had a friend over and we were in the middle of a conversation." I say, parking my chair next to the sofa, I'm not lying, my mum just doesn't need to know that it was more body then words,
"How did you meet him?" Oh god, here come the questions, this should be fun.
"I met him at that new support group I'm going to, the one I went to last night." I say trying to get this conversation over with as soon as possible.
"You didn't tell me you were going to a support group; I don't think you have anything you need support with though your perfectly fine." I feel on edge after she says this, and I need to get out of this room and conversation as soon as possible.
"Maybe, maybe not, but it's got a good selection of people for me to get to know and it may be a good thing for me to have someone to talk to especially after the last few years." I say, sighing and looking towards the tv, some teleshopping thing is on the tv, showing you how to use a piece of art equipment or something.
"Don't be such a drama queen, the last few years have been fine, you're just a sensitive idiot sometimes, that's it." I'm speechless, I can't believe my mum would say something like that, she knows exactly what happened, but I'm being blamed for my own pain, no wonder I need a support group.
I don't reply to my mums last comment and go straight back up to my room, I go over to my tv and connect my phone to the speaker system to play one of my many playlists, after that, I get my outfit out for tomorrow and also a pair of pyjamas for later on, once I'm slightly calmer and organised and I transfer myself onto my bed. Just as I'm about to pick up my journal to begin writing, my phone chimes, alerting me to a text.
Tia: Hey Effie, don't know if you've saved my number, but it's Tia, from the Righton Youth group, I just wanted to check in and wondered if you fancied a 1-1 session with me and without the whole group, don't worry if not, Just thought I'd give you the option.
After tonight's disaster it might be a good idea to talk to someone without a viewpoint, even though talking to West- shit West, I'll have to see if he'll be there, that could be awkward, even if I do want to see him again.
Effie: I would really like that, thank you, Tia, though, by 1-1, you do just mean me and you right, no one else?
God, I must sound like a right paranoid freak right now, thanks West.
Tia: I normally have a trainee in with me but I can tell him he can have the afternoon off if you prefer, and any time after three is great for me, let me know what time is good for you.
At least I won't be as stressed now I don't have to have West in the session.
Effie: I'm at college most of the day tomorrow, but I can probably manage 16:30, thanks, Tia.
Tia: Okay, see you then Effie.
I put my phone down and begin to get ready for bed, getting my pyjamas on and doing my hair. Just as I'm tying my hair up for the night my phone chimes again.
Unknown: Hey Ef, just wanted to check you were okay, I hope you didn't get into too much trouble for having me around, text me back at some point to let me know you're okay and that I have the right number xx
It takes me a minute to figure out who it is before I'm giggling to myself and naming the contact as West and replying a few moments later after getting comfy and composing myself.
Effie: Hey West, first of all, I hate the nickname. Secondly, not too much trouble, more of a miniature interrogation and a hurtful comment. Thirdly, I'll be okay eventually and clearly you have the right number 😉 xx
West: Okay, let me see if I have this right, you hate the nickname, your mum, well let's not discuss that over text and you probably need an arm around you right now xx
Oh, if he wants to flirt with me, let the games begin.
Effie: Hmmmm... I like the sound of having arms around me, it'd be easier now I'm in bed as well, but we are on about you and not some random stranger aren't we, because otherwise, that would be awkward xx
West: I wish I was with you right now so you weren't alone, then again, you could have seen me tomorrow had Tia not said I wasn't needed, shame that, we could have had a good 30 mins on our own after your 1-1 session, I can imagine you might have needed help relaxing after xx
Damn it... he has me there, why did I have to so embarrassed about kissing a really handsome guy, who happens to be a very good communicator, words and body.
Effie: I mean, no one said you couldn't wait for me, or would that ruin your street cred? Mr I-swear-I'm-a-jerk-but-not-really xx
West: If you want me to wait for you I will, just say the word and I will ba-Effie xx
He's done that twice now, once earlier when he was holding me and again in text.
Effie: yes please, and why do you keep doing that thing with my name, what do you keep going to say and then changing your mind, and don't give me some BS, it's a typo excuse xx
West: You sure you wanna know and that you won't freak out on me, I don't want to scare you or lose your friendship if that's all it ends up being, I know we kissed and then you kissed me again 😉, but I don't want you too feel like we have to be something or anything like that, your rules, your timescale xx
Effie: As much I love this sentimental side to you, just spit it out, and I'm not rushing, but when we kissed, I felt physically wanted (please don't say anything to that, I know it sounds bad) and I haven't felt like that in a while and it healed a little part of me, plus I definitely remember making me move too xx
West: okay, in that case, I'll tell you but then I'm going to let you get some sleep as you've had a pretty busy day with a lot of different emotions. The truth is I keep going to call you baby, I know it's cheesy and weird but it just feels right xx
I have to take a minute, feeling like the breath has been knocked out of me, baby, no ones ever called me that before, but it feels right and so what if it makes my body temperature rise slightly.
Effie: I... love it, and your probably right about getting some sleep, night West thank you for giving me some confidence back today <3 xx
West: Goodnight gorgeous, I'll text you in morning... Baby xx
After what seems like a full night of texting both Tia and West, smiling, I put my phone on charge next to me, pick up my journal and begin to write....
Dear journal
Today was different, today I had feelings for someone and didn't feel guilty. Of course, there was drama with mum, but when isn't there. Me and West kissed several times, and it sounds weird but it gave me a part of myself back I didn't even know I'd lost. After how things ended with Seth, I closed a part of myself away, the very flirty/cheeky side and to have that confidence to be like that again, especially around West is like a dream come true, it's a dream I don't want to wake up from and I think that's okay. I have a 1-1 session with Tia tomorrow and I am happy I can finally talk to an adult who might understand for once.
ns 15.158.61.23da2
