I must have passed out at some point smoking that stuff. But I felt better at the time. But. Ow being awake the hurt came back and I didn't want it. Fuck off...loosing her was enough stop hurting..just stop...I'll just get more of that shit it will make it go away again...The Chief greeted me with a cup of coffee and sat next to me. "Thank you." I said as I took a sip. "You're welcome. I rounded up some things for you on your travels as you seem to be on one." He handed me a small makeshift bag. I looked in it. Inside was a canteen full of fresh water from a stream, some food and a large pouch of the same stuff he gave me last night. I took some of it out on the thin paper that was included and rolled it and lit it. "Why are you helping me? You don't know me.." I asked as I blew it out. Mikey you'll feel better soon...soon not fast enough. He looked at me. "Because my father before me taought me to always be kind to others no matter where they came from." "He seems like a nice man. I should get going." I said as I stood up taking another puff and blowing it out. He nodded and wished me well and to come back anytime I wanted. I nodded and walked off finishing it and tossing it. Fuck this feels good..at lest for now till it wears off.
I don't know how much time had passed I just kept walking. For days I walked. I ended up stumbling upon a small town. I went in through a set of swinging half doors and sat at the bar and ordered some drinks. As I downed them a woman sat next to me. She had bright red hair that went down to her waist. Her figure was small yet curvy. She wore a dress with a corset that put things in all the right places. She looked at me for a moment. "Drowning your sorrows?" She asked. "Maybe." I said downing another shot. She nodded and handed me the same stuff the chief gave me. I thanked her and lit it sharing it with her. At some point i ended up in a room with her. She lit another one and shared it with me.
Few hours later we had gone though I don't know how much of that stuff. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with her. Not because I liked her but because I just wanted to feel someone under me. I missed it. I missed her. I'd give anything to see her again. I was drowning and I knew it but I couldn't get out. Couldn't come up for air. Months went on like this. The constant high and sleeping around every night was starting to get to me. Maybe if I do it enough I'll see her again. I just want her back. I threw a lantern across the room making Jocelyn jump. "Are..are you ok?" "No I'm not ok! GIVE HER BACK!" I yelled. "Give who back?.." She asked backing away. "HER! LEAH GIVE HER BACK! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" I threw something else at the wall. "Get out." She stood there for a moment. "GET OUT!" She jumped again and ran out. I slammed the0 door behind her and trashed the room. Once I got it out of my system I smoked more and layed on the bed and drifted off to sleep.
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