Months went by as I kept going down hill. Different girl in my bed every night. I'm exhausted. I gotta get out of here and off this shit... I packed my shit and blinked to heaven. Maybe Gabe will be able to help me. He hugged me as soon as I stepped in the door. "Where have you been?" His voice worried. "Drowning. I'm drowning and I can't get out..." He frowned. "You're on something aren't you?" I nodded and looked away before handing everything to him. He took it and threw it away. "I just want her back Gabe.." I said as I sat down. "I know I'm working on it." He said as he sat across from me.
"I miss her. I miss her smile, her laugh..I miss they way she could calm me down...I miss everything..all the nights with different people just isn't..." I trail. "You're trying to get that feeling back I understand." "Yet I keep doing it..just maybe one of them will do it." He looked at me and frowned. "It's not ever going to give the same feeling Mikey. You're trying to fill a hole she left when she died but it's not gonna work." He said as he handed me a cup of black coffee. I stared at it. Wishing I'd see her face in it. "I'm not me without her. I don't even want to be here without her." "You glowed for her didn't you?" I nodded. "That's why. Your her mate and she is yours." I took a sip of the coffee.
"I should go.." I said as I blinked out. I needed to do something. Something besides drowning. I walked for a while. War called for me. Finally something else to focus on. I blinked to heaven got the info and blinked with my army. Hours of killing later it stopped. I didn't want it to stop. Stopping means my brain will go back to her. I can't, it hurts too much. I blinked away finding myself at a bridge and sat there for a while. I listened to the river flow and the birds. A squirrel hopped up on the ledge and looked at me. It had a small nut in its hands and was nibbling on it. It dropped it and seemed to not like it. "Shit time for you too huh?" I said to it as if it could talk back. "Yeah, I feel you. Shit time for me too." It rubbed its cheek. "You know the best part? You get to go out fuck whoever and just leave. You don't have to be like me and want only one person. You have hundreds of kids and they all leave when they are old enough." The squirrel looked up at me. "But me? No. I want one person. She makes me happy. But she's gone and I don't know what to do with myself. But you? You don't care because you're just a stupid squirrel." I said to it before I killed it.
I left it there and walked off. The birds already pecking at its corpse. It started to rain. I walked in it for what seemed like hours. Soaked from it I stopped at an old barn and layed on a hay bale and passed out. When I woke up the next morning I wasn't there. Someone was holding me. I looked up and seen it was her. I'm dreaming again.. I sat up and looked at her. "L..Leah?" She smiled but it was sad. She has a mark on her. "What happened?..when did you?.." "Lucifer..." Is all she said and I blinked out.
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