Roger was sitting in the observation bubble of the Birtha, watching the double sunrise over Rebound. His digital brush in one hand and the controls for it in the other. The double suns were setting over a field of mushrooms, faeries, and blue grass that was as tall as most trees. The suns were causing Roger no end of trouble, but he kept at it.
He was almost done with it. He had started it the first chance he got after he left the Erikson on the Birtha as co-pilot. Nearly a month working on it while jumping around the system, setting up outposts, dropping off supplies, people, or both. They were currently on approach to a moon called Rebound, which circled one of the system's inner planets of the system, Quartz.
Roger smiled when he thought of Nadica. She was just like Kat in so many ways. She spent the week after the games trying to convince him to at least talk with Kat.
He wanted to. He really did, but how could he explain that even though he was attracted to her, she caused a panic attack? That he doubted he ever could be with her?
He thought he was over it. He had drawn her naked, spent hours with her. But something about her being naked and drunk had triggered the attack. It was all he could do to sleep, knowing she was next door. Half a dozen times, he almost put in to move to other quarters, but some part of him couldn't do it, couldn't close that door.
He was starting to believe he would never really improve; he would always be that ten-year-old boy. Maybe it would be best if he just stopped trying.
He started painting again, he focused on it as his father had taught him, pushing all other thoughts out of his head.
It was over an hour before he got the call to go to the cockpit.
---
Roger stepped into the cockpit, slipping past Thomas Rhentt, who was working in one of the tech consoles. He sat in the empty co-pilot chair.
"I've already done the checklist. What's the next thing you should do?"
"Uh, the checklist?"
"I just said I did it; we don't need to waste time," Alexi said impatiently.
"I thought both pilots had to do the checklist,"
"You thought wrong. What's next?"
Roger started to speak, stopped then hesitated, "We confirm our arrival time with rebound station?"
Alexi muttered under her breath then said, "No, do the checklist, you can't let yourself be bullied to bypass safety reg's, not even by me. The lives of everyone on this boat are your responsibility. Never forget that. Now, do the checklist and land us. You're taking lead." She very deliberately folded her arms and started watching.
With what sounded like a ping, the Birtha set down on Rebound, the future home of a mining colony. Right then, all Roger could see was a few small domes. Soon, there would be two more domes, after they offloaded the Birtha's cargo and personal.
Roger flipped on the short-range radio, "This is the Birtha. We have touched down and are ready to receive soft dock."
"This is Chief Godard. Welcome to our little part of the system. We're getting the scaffolding in position now, don't go anywhere."
Roger hit the toggles that opened the soft dock clamps.
"Soft cargo clamps are unlocked and ready. You may proceed at your own pace."
Alexi took a final look at the displays, then leaned back. "Good job, efficient use of reaction mass.
"So... why did you break up with Kat?"
Roger looked ahead and started to recheck the boat's systems as he said in a low vacillating tone, "We were never together. We were just friends."
Alexi put her hands behind her head and her feet on a darkened display. She said, "Right... you were inseparable, then you partied together, then you somehow managed to avoid each other even though you lived next door."
Roger didn't even try to hide his surprise.
"I used to babysit her," Alexi explained. "We still talk sometimes, particularly if she's troubled. What troubles me is what she didn't say and won't talk to me about, mainly you.
"I don't know what happened. But I know she has a good heart and a kind soul, and she would never have hurt you on purpose. I also know that she is deeply ashamed of whatever it is she did."
Alexi sighed and put her hands into her lap, "Take it from someone older, don't walk away from a chance at happiness."
Roger remembered the bedroom, how flattered he was at first. Before the attack hit.
He hardly remembered how he got to the other side of the ship.
She put her feet back down, put a hand on his shoulder, and softly said, "We have a long way to go, all the way past the edge of the system before we see the Erikson again. So please think about the future that you want to have."
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"Eyeball thirty-five is abeam. Beginning systems check," Thomas Rhentt announced for the thirty-fifth time over the intercom. His voice echoed through the empty halls and rooms of the boat.
They were so far out that the primary was hardly brighter than the other stars. It took more than a month for the Birtha to get from rebound to the edge of the system, all to lay some floating cameras in a grid to and look at a nearby star. He was not told why everyone suddenly wanted a look at it, but then again he had not really asked.
It was currently Alexi's shift, and Roger was in his quarters looking at his display. He had gotten a message from Kat. Though he was excited at first, but the more he thought about it, the more realized how much he had hurt her.
He had stared at the blinking icon for longer than he cared to think about.
Why can't I get over it?
He gripped the table so hard it started to hurt, then he said, "Play message."
Kat appeared on the screen. She was in small quarters that could only have been on an ice hauler. Even crying, she was beautiful.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to sleep with you when we were drunk... when I was drunk. I love you, and I wanted you so bad. I didn't even wonder if you were ready. I'm your friend, even if I can't be more, I will always be that." She looked away from the screen and deflated, and Roger got the impression that with effort she was deviating from a set speech.
"You're smart. You're different. You're always the best version of yourself. You never put up a facade. You want to be with me. When I am with you, the world is different. You're talented in ways I will never be."
She talked slowly and deliberately. "I know I scared you, and I'm sorry. I want to be the woman I see in your eyes. Can you forgive me?"
---
At some point after, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around with a start and saw Rhentt. "She wants us up front. Come on."
They pulled themselves forward to the cockpit. With just the three of them in a boat, that a few weeks before was hauling dozens of people, the silence was almost oppressive.
Alexi was hard at work on what looked like system checks. Without looking back, she said, "Roger, take second seat and do a check of the navigation systems. Thomas, I want you to turn the eyeball nodes to look at the primary and tell me if you see anything odd."
Roger strapped himself into the seat and checked the navigation systems. He had no idea why a routine check was suddenly so important, but he did it anyway. She always had a reason. She was the pilot and was in charge of the boat.
"They're calibrated for looking at distant stars, not ones thirty AU away. We might burn out the optical camera's if I turn them around without spending time recalibrating or getting out to put filters on."
Alexi somehow managed to convey a snarl with her back turned. "The ship's systems started acting up a few minutes ago. Radiation increased to the point of interfering with our systems at the same time. Please do as you're told."
"The VLA is doing important work," Rhentt looked like he wanted to say more but stopped short.
He then said, "Fine, resetting the array and turning nodes one through fifteen." Roger saw Thomas look over his shoulder at Alexi as he said this, but she ignored him; apparently, that was good enough.
Roger finished the system check on the navigation system. When he saw the results, he did them again. Surprisingly, they did not change.
Just as Roger finished the second check, Thomas spoke. Sounding less than confident for once.
"The sun, it's changing, its output increasing." There was an element of awe in his voice.
He changed views on one of his screens and turned it so they could see. It looked like a close up of the primary.
Alexi squinted at it and asked, "What?" at him.
"This isn't magnified. The primary's total output is two orders of magnitude brighter than it should be and growing."
There was a second of silence as they absorbed the information.
Abruptly, several alarms went off, and all the computers and lights flickered. Alexi screamed. When the backup chemical lights came up, she was floating in place with a look of pain on her face, even though she wasn't moving.
Roger yelled, "Alexi, are you okay?" After a few seconds of her not responding, he noticed she was a bit too still. He put his fingers to her neck like he was taught in basic medical.
Thomas looked around briefly and said, "What the fuck was that?!"
Roger felt nothing; he waited a few long seconds.
He still felt no pulse.
Quickly putting Alexi in the zero-G firemen's carry, he shouted, "Get the hatch, Thomas.
"We need to get her to the medic now. Open the hatches and make sure the medic is working!
"Now!"
It shocked Thomas into action. He opened the hatches, and after what felt like forever, Roger was at the top of cargo bay one. Looking down, he could see the medic in the corner with Thomas standing next to it working on the controls.
Hoping it was just her heart that needed fixing, he pushed her through the air in the direction of the medic. He then jumped himself, as fast as he could. He landed, and quickly turned to catch her before she slammed into the deck.
Thomas rushed over to help him put her into the medic.
The large transparent lid closed, and rings spun as it attached sensors and tubes to her.
One of the things attached to her jolted, and she was breathing again.
It took only a few minutes for the medic to find out what was wrong.
Timing implant non-functional
Burns on heart consistent with malfunction of timing implant, surgery needed to repair is beyond this medic unit.
Can be kept safely indefinitely in a medical coma.
Do you wish to place the patient into a medical coma?
"My god, a heart implant while piloting a ship. A transplant and she would have been fine, but she had an implant instead. What a bitch," Thomas said.
Roger turned on the magnets in his boots, walked to the medic, and told it to proceed.
He then Calmly punched Thomas.
Thomas looked more shocked than hurt. Roger said, "Try and get the computer up again. I'll be in the cockpit." He jumped up to the landing above.
"Wait."
Half expecting a punch, he turned and instead saw Thomas rummaging through a large metal box.
"Take this," he said as he tossed a wristcomp through the air to Roger. "Mine is broken. Yours probably is too if what I think happened, happened."
Roger saw that he was right; his wristcomp was dead.
"Switch out the chips and make sure to plug it into your flight suit."
---
The cockpit's lights were on. It looked like the basic functions were working but nothing else. A radio message was caching.
Roger instructed the computer to play the message.
Captain Patel appeared. The image was low quality and would glitch every few seconds, but it was definitely him.
"I am declaring an emergency as of 04:05 ship time today.
"The primary's luminosity has increased by several orders of magnitude, and the rate of increase appears to be increasing. This is well in excess of what any of the boats can handle. The Erikson is safe inside Marble's shadow, fortunately. We believe the primary is going to Nova. We have no choice but to leave the system."
He sighed as his demeanor changed. "Rebound station, the Atlanta, the Carmen, the Apollo, the Newt, the Digger, the Lafayette, the Texas, the Cromwell, and the Owl are lost. They died after the first wave of charged particles hit."
"The Snowball is dead in space on the sun side of Marble. We still have radio contact with a few of the overwatch sat's, and it looks like she's fine, just dead in space from the EMP and the radiation. But we can't save her. By the time any boats could get to her, and transfer passengers, they would be dead in space as well. If you have any messages for anyone on board her, we can relay them for now."
The message droned on, but Roger ignored it and called up the data that was sent with the message.
The Snowball.
Roger slumped and remembered the last message she had sent. Going through it over and over.
Kat was on the Snowball.
He used his wristcomp to call Thomas, "We have a message from the captain, watch it, then fix the computer. I need to run some sims." He transferred the message from the captain to Thomas. After a brief pause, Thomas responded.
"Fuck.
"What do you mean you need to run some sims? We're not going to be doing anything but repairs and getting the hell out of here when the Erikson is close enough. Hardly need sims for that."
"We need to get to the Snowball."
Thomas's tone softened, then he said, "The Snowball is dead in the water, and so would be any boat that tried to rescue her. You heard the captain. EMP's can't directly knock out an optical computer, but we do use superconductors throughout the boat.
"We had arcing throughout the inner and outer hulls. Not to mention across several boards of the main computer. Our plasma drive is probably okay, and I can work around the burned optical boards, but that's only because we're on the edges of the system. It might be possible to get to the Snowball, but it is not possible to get there, decelerate, offload everyone, then get clear. Not if the captain says it's not."
Ignoring him, Roger said, "I need to run some sim's. I'm not asking for much; just fix the computer first."
"If the Erikson can't..."
"I refuse to believe there is no hope. I refuse to believe that there is nothing that can be done. Now, are you going to help, or do you have something better to do?!" Roger was screaming, and his hands were shaking at the end of the sentence.
Roger was trying to calm down when Thomas replied, "Fine, I'll do it. We should have some spare optic cable somewhere I can use to replace the burned-out data cables. I should do that anyway. Get ready if we get another burst."
Roger was already thinking out the problem before Thomas was done talking.
For everything Thomas said, he worked fast. It was not long before the computer reported that it was up again, at least enough of it for what Roger needed.
He had no idea what he could do, but some part of him refused to give up. He realized at that moment that he would rather die than see Kat die. Nothing else mattered.
He pulled up the diagram of the marble system. The Erikson had sent what it knew about what was happening. Roger plugged in the numbers and saw what Captain Patel had. The computer estimated a matter of two hours before a boat would be dead in space once it left Marble's shadow.
The EMP's had kept coming. Even a hardened ship would have trouble after the first two EMP's. The primary was also sending out waves of charged particles, which would also cause massive problems for any rescue boat.
Any rescue boat would have to come to a relative stop, take on the people, then start up again. It would take too long.
All of which the captain must have gone over, and Roger was sitting almost than thirty AU away. It would take him even longer to slow down.
Unless he didn't.
Not completely, at least.
"Computer pilot override use all CPU cycles on the following problem."
He entered the problem, the computer was slow, and he still was not good at using it, but it was good enough.
The computer said his plan could work. If he could do it, it would require a lot from him. There was a reason the boats required at least two pilots, and right then, he was the only one.
But if it could be done, it would have to be them.
I can do it.
I can save her.
He started to check over the engines and all the other flight systems. They all had some problems, but they should be good enough between backups and the repairs Thomas had done. It looked like most of the damage had been the computer anyway.
He turned on the intercom and said, "I have a plan. Get up here."
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