Roger sketched Kat again. It was hard without reference.
She was there, right in front of me.
I could have gotten her.
I should have gotten her.
He began to shake, he forced himself to breathe deeply until it stopped.
He was halfway done with his drawing when he got a call from Dianna, who was in the cockpit on watch.
She wanted him there for some reason, but Roger didn't ask why.
He made sure his suit was sealed before he hit one of two large buttons that were stuck by the hatch. An almost deafening hiss ensued, then it was gone. He made his way soundlessly to the cockpit hatch.
"I'm here."
"One second," Thomas said over his suit radio. The hatch opened up thirty seconds later, and Roger closed it up as soon as he was inside.
"Any change with the locals?"
Dianna looked up and said, "No, still holding station around us and the Erickson. At least they are further out than last time."
"It's time to leave. The pod with our relief is almost here, Roger." Thomas said, looking almost dead on his feet. He had spent all the time since offloading the prisoners trying to fix the Alice. Roger could see sensors working that when his last shift ended had read as dead.
All the while, the locals were watching, transmitting nothing, but pointing their weapons at him and his family.
Those were the people that Kat was with. Had been with for six days.
Thomas and Dianna exchanged a look that probably meant something important, but Roger couldn't bring himself to care.
After taking his bearing he said, "Pilot's ship." He then opened an encrypted short-range radio channel and said, "Service pod eight, you are clear to dock, Alice out."
"Five by five, Alice, on approach now."
After docking without incident, all three of them made their way to the cockpit.
He thought he recognized one of them, even in her flight suit.
Alexi embraced him and said, "I'm so sorry."
"We'll get her back," he said with less confidence than he felt.
As he was leaving, all three of them wanted to shake his hand and wish him luck for some reason.
They entered the service pod. After a quick run through of the systems, Roger said, "Alice, this is service pod eight, are we clear to detach?"
Alexi responded with, "Service pod eight, you may detach at your convenience, and you have the three of our votes. Alice out."
Roger vaguely remembered something about an election, but he had stopped paying attention to any news from the Erikson that was not related to piloting a day after Kat, his wife, was.... lost.
Dianna turned to him and said, "You're running for a council seat."
"I'm what?"
"Running for a council seat. I thought you would be good at it, so I got enough people to nominate you and submitted the documentation. You're now on the ballot. And as of my latest projections, you're the front-runner."
"What? Don't you need my permission, at least?"
"It is customary to ask permission, yes, but hardly required."
Roger groaned loudly.
He was beginning to think he should have done more than glance at the parts of the charter about the elections.
He then turned to Dianna and said, "Why would you want me on the council? Why would anyone? I've never led anyone anywhere."
Thomas was notably looking away while Dianna counted reasons off on her fingers.
"You are thoughtful under pressure. You resisted attacking the local ship with everything you had. But when it became necessary, you did it. Your perspective is different from ours, and that could be useful in the days ahead. You don't want it, and it's best never to trust those who want power.
"But most importantly, you value life, you will risk yourself to save others. You will do what is needed, no matter how hard that is.
"I analyzed your piloting, both during emergencies and normal flight, and I saw a pattern. Under normal conditions, you are very cautious, as is not surprising given your character and personal interactions. During emergencies or when the goal is not achievable with normal means, you are willing to take risks. But they are measured, and you make the decision quickly and decisively. You don't want attention or glory, and that is clear from the interviews I conducted with other pilots and records of the party after you won the games.
Roger was still stuck on part of the first point. "So, you want me in charge because I disagreed with you?"
She looked him in the eye unflinchingly, which was strange for her. "In part, yes. I was reacting emotionally, something I try to avoid. I am grateful that the burden of unnecessary killing is not on me. I am not doing this as a favor, Roger, I am doing this because you are the best man for a very important job. We need someone like you on the council."
Thomas turned, and added, "We're surrounded by people who have guns at our heads. We have dwindling supplies, and people are giving up hope. You can help them, help us. You've done more in two years here than most of us will do in our whole lives. You are the right man for the job. There is no doubt in my mind about that.
"I would never have thought to save the Snowball the way you did, I don't think anyone else would have. Even if I had, I wouldn't have done it.
"When I helped you save them, I did something I never thought I would. I risked myself to save someone else. I became a better man because of you, and I did something great. You can do the same for all of us.
"Being on the council is not a privilege, it's a responsibility. One that I know you will take seriously and do better than most of the rest of us could ever hope to. You have a drive to do the right thing, to save people who no one else would think could be saved. We need that, now more than ever.
"And, of course, what better way to make sure the council makes getting your wife and the others back a priority."
For the first time in days, he felt like he was moving in a direction. He turned to Dianna and said, "I'll think about it, but if I do this, you're helping. I don't know the first thing about politics."
"I have it all planned out," she said as they docked.
---
Roger ate a bite of his lasagna, and was surprised to note that he had eaten it all. He looked at the empty chair to his left.
"I don't think she would be surprised."
He looked up at Kyle, "What?"
"I don't think Katrina will be surprised by you becoming a counselor."
"I'm not one yet."
"You will be, I know you don't see it, but she does."
He got up and rummaged through a closet. "She was working on this, as a gift for your birthday. I don't think she would mind me giving it to you now."
Kyle took out a framed drawing of Roger. It was good; she really had improved. It showed him at the helm of the Birtha, with his face looking...harder than he ever thought of it. In the background, a gas giant was looming, and a cable had just been launched.
"We don't blame you for not getting her. We don't hate you and we never will. You did everything you could. What matters now is what you do to get her back."
Roger was floored for a second, then he realized Kyle was right.
He had thought Kyle and Nadica would hate him. That was part of why he had reverted to the way he was before Kat, to the way he was after his father died.
"You can't allow your fears and doubts to control you anymore. You're a citizen of the Erikson. That means putting the welfare of the Erikson before anything else.
"You did it twice before. First when you saved the Snowball, then again when you took the Alice to battle.
"This is no different, all you need to do is be the man you were then. Find a way to save my sister. Speak your mind in the council chamber and make sure it's heard."
He wasn't a boy anymore. He wasn't on New Europe anymore. He had a home and a family, and they needed him.
He looked down at Kat's picture and saw something new. He saw how his wife saw him. She didn't see the childish roundness of his face or the uncertainty in his eyes. She saw a man willing to fight save others, willing to serve his people.
Willing to do whatever it took to save the people he loves.
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