Roger sat back in his chair and took a good long breath. His heart slowly stopped racing. The rest of the world came back into focus. For a while, there had been nothing but the screens and the controls. It was like when he was painting, and the world just fell away.
He disconnected his flight suit from the ship and stood up. He forgot yet again that the ship was not under thrust and bumped his head as he flew upward.
Surprisingly, he saw that he came in second; he had been sure that he would be last.
Roger quickly changed out of his flight suit.
He was exhausted, as if he had spent the hour or two running instead of sitting in a chair.
"Comp show sim feed, time index: current minus ten minutes."
As he was catching up, he heard the airlock doors open, and Kat yelled, "You in here? Time to get our reward."
Roger carefully got up and said, "We lost, what reward would that be?" As he turned around.
She was still in her flight suit, of course and it hugged all the lovely curves that kept him awake, and that sent him away from her on his bad days.
"I came in third, which is not bad for a trainee. Your flying was beautiful, you handsome man. You went against what we were told and almost won. Now it's time to turn the story into free drinks, the good stuff too.
"We need to get going. I want to hear how the hell you did whatever that was."
She took Roger's hand and all but dragged him out of the cockpit and into the upship tube.
---
Contrary to the hurry she seemed to be in, they stopped at her quarters so she could change into regular clothing. Roger waited uncomfortably in her living room, facing away from her door, which she had left open.
He could feel the parties in the soles of his feet as they mag-walked toward Erik's, a bar on the same floor as his and the their quarters. Roger got the impression that Kat wanted to run ahead, but she gave that impression most of the time.
Just before they entered Erik's, Roger paused and said, "There's one thing I have to do." He looked deeply into her eyes, and put his arms around her, and kissed her deeply.
Roger could hardly believe he did that, and that it felt right.
He was shocked, and Kat appeared to calm down, and for once, she did not look like she wanted the world to speed up. Roger always thought of her as a bit jittery, but right then, she looked at peace.
He was still a bit out of it when she pulled him into the bar. One wall was full of replays of the sim from various points of view. Another was cycling Roger's later beacon grabs, then it showed the Alice entering the cluster. Roger grimaced when he saw the Alice. It looked like she had been through the blender; he hoped that image would not scare anyone he would be piloting for.
Kat pulled him toward the bar with an arm around his waist. Drinks appeared out of nowhere.
Wearing his new ensign uniform, Kyle asked, "How the hell did you manage that?" He pointed to the screen showing his first fast pass.
"What do you mean?"
Someone Roger did not know spoke up, "He means how did you do that many things at once? How did you program the computer to pick up that fast?"
"I suck at programming. I decided to just skip it and do it by feel. Not nearly as hard as I thought it would be, just have to keep an eye on everything and concentrate."
"You..., you just did it all manually? By feel? You controlled the grapple head and, the boat, while plotting your course and making sure you didn't foul up the cable all at once?"
"I guess so, yes," he responded as he took a swig of something someone had passed into his hand.
He saw Commander Nodel, still in his flight suit. He had come in last after Alexi had hit him with a probe. He shook Roger's hand. "I wouldn't have thought it possible, but I went over the records. Past the first fast pickup, you hardly used the autopilot at all. You kept track of several vectors, each of which was changing, without using the computer any more than you had to."
"Here is to flying by the seat of your pants!" Someone behind Nodel cheered loudly.
It did make sense, he guessed. A ship of engineers and scientists would be used to putting their faith in computers and math. He might be the only one who would be willing not to use a computer if he could.
He drank more felt fuzzy; he never drank.
Kat laughed and said, "I think we'd better start dancing," and she offered her hand to Roger. "Might not get another chance for a while."
Roger gladly took her hand and went onto the dance floor.
At some point, after dancing, well trying to at least, with Kat, he sat down next to Kyle. He tried to drink lightly, but he was dizzy.
Kat was nearby, giving a mostly accurate description of his first fast pass when Kyle leaned over and said, "Don't waste it, man, she really likes you."
Roger looked up at Kyle, focused on him with some effort, and said, "She likes everyone." While He made an expansive gesture, almost knocking down several drinks.
Speaking lowly, Kyle said, "It looks like Kat needs help getting back to our quarters. You should take her there."
---
Roger only realized how drunk he was when he mag-walked with her back to her quarters. It would have been more manageable in gravity, but the rings would not be restarted until they were in orbit.
As he opened the hatch to her quarters, she grabbed his ass. Pulling him through the shared living room into her bedroom, she drunkenly said while undressing, "It's been almost two years."
Roger blinked several times and could hear a loud thumping.
Kat smiled dreamily, then lurched forward, and grabbed Roger around the waist. She put her feet on the bulkhead and pushed off. They both landed on her bed.
Roger snapped up with a start and said, "I can't."
He got away as fast as he could. He heard nothing but the blood thumping in his ears and saw red at the edges of his vision.
---
Captain Patel dodged to the right and jabbed with his left. It left him exposed, but it was a risk worth taking. His glove connected, and Dallas took it to the face. His much larger frame then hit the mat. The captain took off his glove and offered his hand, which Dallas took and stood up.
Patel felt good that at over a hundred he could still lay a bigger man out, even if only occasionally.
He felt better, like he normally usually did after he worked out a day's frustrations by boxing. After a quick shower, the captain put his uniform back on and noticed that his wristcomp was flashing.
URGENT-PRIVATE
This better not be another complaint that some officer "stepped out of line" again.
The captain put in his earpiece, swiped to connect it to his wristcomp, and tapped to play the message. The message was tagged as having been recorded an hour before in astrometrics.
The only thing urgent there should be keeping them awake. The night shift of astrometrics was just there to oversee the Very Large Array, and the computers that were directing it.
An image of two young men appeared. They had more sweat on them than the captain had just cleaned off himself. "Captain, this is astrometrics. We need to see you, we know you're busy, but Sam says it has to be you." The speaker rattled off quickly as if hoping whatever it was would go away if he spoke fast enough. Sam was the project manager and in charge of the forthcoming build. To require him when they already had the project manager meant that whatever it was affected the ship's safety of the ship.
The captain finished dressing and made his way up from the tenth floor of the white ring to the bottom of the blue section, upship of both rings and just downship of the bridge.
He passed a few people along the way, nodding his head and exchanging sparse greetings, but most were asleep or resting.
He finally made it to astrometrics and waved his comp on the scanner next to the hatch.
The hatch opened quickly. The large compartment was mostly empty.
It had screens and readouts everywhere. At first, glance everything looked normal; all the VLA nodes read as intact.
Floating next to him were the two night shift crew for astrometrics.
Sam moved in front of both and motioned, "Tell him what you told me, boys."
Jose Paine was the one who left the message and looked like he was itching to run. Thomas Rhentt was much calmer, he almost looked excited.
Jose looked over to Thomas and took a deep breath. "We were doing a broad-spectrum analysis of the emissions of Marble, the gas giant we'll be orbiting, when I saw this." Thomas flicked a few buttons on a control panel, and a series of waveforms appeared all around thirty megahertz. They were moving in a complicated pattern. He looked at the captain expectantly.
Almost looks like a radio signal.
"This is the first time we picked it up. Now, let me superimpose what we found next."
An identical waveform appeared, on top of the first.
"And again."
A third waveform appeared.
"You're saying these can't be natural."
Sam spoke up and said, "That is what they told me. They don't match any known com standards. It looks like a video transmission, but the array faces the wrong way for it to be from the grid. They're very weak. Even with the full array, we barely picked them up. No ship or probe is recorded as being sent there."
Thomas said, "It's first contact, Captain, we can't decode it yet, but if we redeploy the VLA without the system in the way, we should be able to get enough to. We only have fragments now. We get to be the first humans to know what an alien looks like."
Patel pushed himself up slightly, making him look taller, and talked in what he thought of as his Captain voice, "Anyone else know about this?"
Rhentt said, "Ah, no. We called Project Manager Johnson, then you after we checked for the fourth time. I'm going to write it up for the news, though." The captain had to stop himself from facepalming.
"This is no longer your problem. I need both of you to forget what you saw, at least for now. I know I have no authority to do so, but please, Mr. Rhentt, this cannot get out before we are ready. Ideally, before we get a look at what that," he points at the waveforms, "is really saying and who they are."
Rhentt looked the captain in the eyes and said, "You can't order me silent, Captain, I'm not an officer. This may be the most important discovery we, by which I mean the human race, has ever made, and I'm not going let some lieutenant get the credit for it."
It had to be someone more concerned with his name going down in history than keeping his shipmates safe.
"I am not asking you to hold off forever, just until you decode it. If we have aliens, when we know for sure that we have them, then yes, we will tell everyone." He sighed then continued, "But if we don't, I don't want to cry wolf. That could be a reflection, or a dark colony. We are very much on our own here. I have no desire to invite blind speculation."
Sam snorted, "While exaggerating, the captain does make good points. I suggest you do as he says."
Rhentt squinted at the captain. After waiting for the right moment, the captain asked, "We will need someone to decode them, you have the necessary skills. It will take at least what? A few weeks?"
"Probably, yeah. If I'm right about them being video signals. Longer if they're data."
"All I am asking is that until then, you keep quiet. I will make sure you're front and center when we do reveal it. That work for you, Project Manager?"
"Works for me," Sam said as he crossed his arms.
Thomas paused as though to considering it.
"Or you come forward now, and work as a junior tech to study the unusual flare pattern of the star," Sam said as he gestured at the hatch.
Rhentt stood up and put his hand out, then said, "I won't wait forever."
Patel shook it as he said, "Good, your first job is to tag those signals as natural for the morning shift, so they don't make the same discovery you did. After that, please get ready to present what you do have bright and early tomorrow at the closed council meeting I am about to call."
Patel turned to Jose. He had seen that look before. It was the look of a man who saw across the abyss for the first time. He saw something he really feared and did not understand. In many ways, it was a healthier way to deal with it than what Rhentt was doing. He looked at Jose and said, "Go take a tranq and get some sleep. If the doctor on watch doesn't want to give you one, have him give me a call. If you want to help Mr. Rhentt decode the signals, call Sam tomorrow. Otherwise, I am sure he can find a different job for you."
Patel walked out of the room then rushed when outside; he had a long night ahead of him. He doubted they were really alien signals but learning what they were was the least his duty required of him.
---
Gina opened the door to her office and let Kat and Kyle in. It was small and felt smaller with the rings spun back up after entering the orbit of marble.
But not as small as Kat had felt for the last month.
"I wanted Roger to tell you himself before he left, but from what Kyle said, he has hardly talked to you since the games.
"I have some things to tell you that you need to know before you see him again. I asked the good Commander Nodel to alter the piloting assignments, to get him away as fast as possible. He needs some time to decompress."
Kat looked away, shame filling her.
"Before I speak, I want both of your words, on record, that you will reveal nothing I am about to tell you to anyone other than Roger."
They both gave their word. Kyle looked as confused as Kat felt.
"I am arguably breaking confidentiality by telling you this. In my view, I have to for his safety."
Kat grabbed Kyle's arm and squeezed as Gina turned her display to face them.
"These are from his baseline full body scan." The image showed what looked like a bone with several faint lines across it.
"Each line is from an old break, and I do mean old. Between fifteen and seventeen years. They were allowed to heal naturally."
She went to several other images. They all showed the same thing on other bones.
Kyle said, "He... broke them when he was 10? Was he in an accident?"
"No, they were not all broken at the same time. Some were years apart."
She looked Kat in the eye and said, "What do you know about his parents?"
"He was close to his father, who died a year or so before we met. I think he was the only person Roger ever spent time around. I don't know anything about his mother. He never brings her up and changes the subject when I do. But I think she raised him by herself when he was very young."
Kyle stammered, "You, you think she abused him, don't you?"
Kat looked at Gina, hoping she would deny it.
"I do. I noticed something when we first met at the carnival. He didn't like looking at women, particularly ones with large breasts. I thought it was because New Europe has a stronger nudity taboo than we do, but now, I don't think that was the case.
"I got a medical warrant and searched his personal database. I found this," she showed them a picture of two adults with what looked like a five-year-old between them. The man was the spitting image of Roger. He looked like a much younger version of the man in the picture Roger kept by his bed.
"I found dozens of images of his father, but only this one of his mother."
She had large breasts, and wide hips.
just like Kat's.
He was abused by that woman, who was built like her.
She came onto him while drunk and naked....
She cried like she hadn't since her mom and dad died.
"He wasn't drunk in sickbay, was he?" Kyle asked while holding Kat.
Gina replied, "No, Kyle, he was not. He," she stopped briefly then hesitated, "was having a panic attack. That was when I got the warrant and backtracked him."
Gina looked Kat in the eyes and said, "Kat... you can't do that again. He is hurt and has spent a decade burying this pain. The two of you can and should help, but in the end? This is a mountain he has to climb himself. If you push him too far, he could fall and never get up again."
Kat had been told that after running from her advances, Roger had ended up drunk enough to go to sickbay, but it was so much worse.
She felt Gina put her hand on her shoulder and softly say, "You need to be patient, and you need to accept that he may never be more than a friend."
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