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"The Last Straw Hasnt Broke, But Close"
Well, to begin I've always been different, In my humor, my personality, my emotions, and my logic. It seemed that people singled me out to bully, hate, or to blame things on.
As a child, I found that being alone was and is my salvation, yet it is my prison. Loneliness is my companion. I just wanted to fit in and be accepted and belong. My so-called best friend would meet people and make groups or clubs and make sure I couldn't join. He would only surround himself with people who could do something for him by making him somewhat famous or giving him prestige he didn't earn. He always wants something for nothing. He would break plans with me hang out with these new people and forget about me. Well until they got busy with other things and didn't have time for him anymore. Then he wants to hang out with me. After a while I realized I didn't need him, it only took almost 30 years. I had horrible things happen and never a phone call or anything. I lost my house and my marriage of 16 years and nothing. I finally just cut him off completely blocked him off Facebook and blocked him off my phone and to get even with me he goes to my ex-wife's work and tells her I said a bunch of things about her, even though I haven't spoken to him in over 2 years. I don't know if I was right or wrong, But I feel better without him telling me I'm not good enough without words. Well, I have been struggling with suicide and anxiety all my life. I didn't know what was wrong with me. All I know I was always worried about what people thought of me and I was always wanted to die. It took almost 35 years to get help. Although I still have days I want to die. I have no friends or girlfriend. I tried a few times to kill myself, but I'm still here. I believe I don't try harder because of my little dogs and the love of writing, no matter if it's a play, short story, or poem. I still cry when I feel very alone. Well, I guess that's the reason I'm still here I guess. I don't write for fame or money or sympathy, it's just therapy.
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