Kat257Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlPX5DOb6u
July 4, 2005
257Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDpcjcd8yC
*
Same day
*
"Just give me a chance, please." A familiar male voice pleads, sending dread throughout my body.
"Listen, I've told you-" Vanessa comes into view, standing to full height, stabbing a finger in David's stupid face.
He looks the same as usual, slightly disheveled in the most casual dress clothes he can get away with, khaki pants and a white button up shirt. He has always had a natural attractiveness with his evening stubble, crooked tie and natural bedhead. His carefree attitude draws you in and when you aren't paying attention, it will undo you.
"Please. I still care, you know I do." No, he's a liar. Don't let her believe him.
"No! What I do know is you're fill of shit, a cheat and a fucking asshole! You can go-" She stops at the sound of Nate clearing his throat, both of them turning their attention to us.
Crap. I should have left when I had the chance.
"Um, what is Professor Gulso doing in your dorm room?" He looks from me to Vanessa for an explanation, but neither one of us respond.
"What does it matter to you?" David looks at Nate with mild annoyance. "You aren't dating, are you?"
"As a matter of fact we are, so you can leave." He steps forward, his short, intimidating body filling the space around him, making him seem dangerous. "And, if you're here to get sexual favors from either one of these girls, I will break your fucking neck."
"Listen, dude." David holds up his hands in surrender. "It's not like that."
"Oh right, you just visit all your students alone in their dorm room. I'm sure you're just tutoring them a little, right?" If only Nate knew just how right he is. The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.
"No, I just-" He tries to defend himself, but Nate isn't having it.
"I swear to god, if you even thought about touching Vanessa, I will destroy your career." He's huffing, ready to take on the world to defend her honor. It's pretty sweet, in a cave man kind of way.
"Vanessa?" David's confused face matches Nate's as they realize they weren't talking about the same girl.
"Nate." I place my hand on his arm, hoping to calm his unnecessary anger. "David is here to see me."
I pull my hand away as soon as I see Vanessa bristle and her eyes widen slightly. She's trying not to have a reaction, but I can tell she's upset.
Crap. She doesn't think I'm trying to steal Nate, does she?
"David?" In trying to diffuse the situation, I seem to have only made it worse. Nate's eyes are wild, as he tries to understand. "Who the fuck is David?"
"I am." David crosses his arms, but stays in a relaxed stance. "Teachers have first names too, you know."
"Don't you dare talk to me like I'm an idiot, you condescending prick." Nate lunges forward, jabbing his finger in David's face. He's so upset his face is practically glowing red. "And the same threat still applies, dipwad."
"Threat?" David seems almost amused and not concerned at all with the hulking figure who could easily take him.
"If you even think about touching Kat, I will end your career." I'm touched that he's trying to defend me, just wish he had been here a year ago.
David chuckles. "Little late for that, bro." He pats Nate on the back like their old buddies, but we all know better.
"Don't touch me. I'm not your fucking bro." Nate gives him a light shove on his shoulders, throwing David slightly of balance. "And what the fuck does that mean? If you're here to get with Kat, then you're a little late asshole. She's taken."
"Oh right, by the dude in the coma? Yeah, I'm sure he's gonna come rushing in here any minute to beat me up." David rolls his eyes, making me want to punch him for the thousandth reason.
Nate crosses his bulging arms. "Don't worry, I'll be happy to do it for him."
"Are you two done?" Vanessa pulls our attention to her, her voice firm with her hands on her hips. She flings her hair over her shoulder, her face filled with disgust. "God, if you are just going to measure your little dicks, you can leave. I'll save you the trouble, you both lose. Get. Out."
Before she can drag either one out, I step towards David, who clamps his gaping mouth shut. "Okay, let's talk." I motion him to my side of the room, before turning back to Ness. "Nate has something to say to you."
She crosses her arms over her chest, before shrugging. "Not interested. He can leave."
"Vanessa, he's my ride." I try to defend my new friend, but cringe inwardly as her face turns to hurt.
"Fine, whatever." She storms out the door of our dorm room. I try give Nate a sad smile, but he doesn't look in my direction. Instead he sighs, hesitating only a moment before walking out the door behind her.
Today is falling apart. I try to grasp at the broken pieces, but I only seem to make things worse. It's just crumbling in my hands as I watch, helplessly.
I turn to David, already dreading this conversation. "Come on."
I walk over to my bed, not even checking to see if he's following or not. Honestly, I'm kind of hoping he leaves, but I know better.
I sit down, avoiding his gaze as he sits next to me. This is not at all how I pictured my day going.
"What do you want?" I stare at the floor, praying he will get an urgent call and have no choice but to leave. Of course, I would ever be that lucky.
"I've been thinking, you know, a lot about us. What we have is really special. I miss you." Wait, what? We don't have anything.
"Seriously?" My brain already hurts from trying to understand what's happening.
"Yes, Katarina. I'm so sorry for my mistake. Can you please just forgive me now so we can move past this?" The more stupid words come out of his mouth, the more I imagine throwing darts at his face.
"Say what now?" Why the heck is he taking like we're still in a relationship?
"Please come back. I know you needed some time, but I think you've had plenty at this point." He has to be on something, right? None of his words are making sense.
"Are you high?" Crap. I didn't mean to say that out loud. He's messing with my head.
"What? No." He shakes his head at me, amusement on his stupid face. "Come on, just forgive me. You know you're going to in the end, so just save us a little time." His cocky grin does nothing to me anymore, but remind me of my love for Ben.
"I already forgave you." It's true. I don't understand why he did it, but I no longer hold onto the pain he caused.
"Oh thank god. Thank you, baby." He leans forward, trying to hug me, but I stand to avoid his touch.
I cross my arms, looking down at the pathetic excuse for a man, as I remind myself of all the ways Ben is nothing like him. "I didn't do it for you. I did it for myself, to move on. I'm sorry, but I just don't have feelings for you anymore. It's over."
"You're over me?" Is he deaf?
"Yes, seeing you with someone else really helped with that." I shudder at the memory of walking in on that. I wish I could burn that image from my mind.
"Listen babe, that was just a mistake." He grabs my hand, pulling me towards him. "You know I'm the only man who will ever love you. Why are you resisting this? You're mine and you always will be."
"I love someone else." I tried to sound confident, but my wavering voice betrays me, as my brain struggles to come up with reasons that he's wrong. He is wrong, isn't he?
"Ben? Really? You think he would ever love you?" The air is sucked from my lungs as I realize the truth behind David's words.
There's no way Ben loves me. Just because I love him, doesn't mean he loves me back. How could I be so naive? He will never love someone like me.
I'm boring. 257Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvFUMlV3zG
I'm ugly.257Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3j3lLeNOw
I'm nobody.
"No." My voice is so small, so insignificant, I can barely hear it myself. I doubt it even reached David's ears.
The truth is, there's nothing special about me. I'm a waste of space. I don't deserve Ben. I deserve to be with David.
I gave myself to him and now I'm worthless.
Who would ever love me?
ns 15.158.61.46da2
