Meanwhile, Muffins and Strawberry had just arrived home.
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"Okay," Strawberry sat down at the kitchen table. "Spill. What happened at Carlotta's wedding?"
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Muffins sighed as he sat down next to his wife. "I was in a dark place" he said slowly. "I was still really fucked up from the abortion. I wandered off from the reunion, and I found a shelf full of liquor. I drank so fucking much. Strudel found me and he started drinking too. He- he kissed me. I told him I wasn't gay. After that it's kind of a blur, but we got a room for the night. Talking about this is making me feel sick. Let's change the subject, please?"
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"So you're saying you had sex?" Strawberry asked, with her mouth hanging open in shock.
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"We didn't do any butt stuff, but we did fool around" Muffins said blankly.
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Strawberry was overcome with so much emotion, as tears welled up in her eyes. "You kept this from me for ten years" she said quietly.
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"Look, I'm not gay" Muffins said. "You know that. I love you, Strawberry. This is our first kid free night since Grace was born. We haven't had sex since before she was born. Let's just go upstairs, have some fun, and go to bed"
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"I am just now finding out that the dick that has been in me all these years has also been in my first boyfriend's mouth" Strawberry continued. "Like, were you planning on going the rest of our lives without telling me?"
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"Strawberry, I don't know!" Muffins yelled. "I try to block it out as much as I can"
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"Did you like it?" Strawberry asked.
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"Of course not!" Muffins yelled. "You know what, I need to go"
He started to get up.
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"Excuse me?" Strawberry asked.
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"Look, Strawberry" Muffins said. "I don't want to end up saying or doing anything that I regret, so I think I should just go to Stitch's for the night before this ends up getting too heated. I'm sorry that I kept a secret from you, but I'm just done talking about it"
He walked out the front door.
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Strawberry sat there in shock. Muffins had never left like this before. She immediately called Carlotta.
"Dude, Muffins left me" she said once Carlotta answered.
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"What?!" Carlotta exclaimed. "I'm coming over. I am just about to leave the school. I was talking to Honky"
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