I stare ahead at the water in front of me. The beach is beautiful, and my friends are having fun and yelling shouts of joy. But I can't join them, I stare off into the abyss and I can see his face. He's in my mind, my heart aches for him, but I know he won't change his mind and come back to me.254Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhqTwCp1Y3
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"Just stop Hanseol! I'm tired of all this!" I bit my lip as tears formed in my eyes.
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"H-Hyuck, please stop... I don't understand!" He spins around and grabs my shoulders looking me in the eyes.
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"Hanseol! I don't love you anymore! I- we're breaking up! I can't do this anymore." I froze at his words, they felt like a dagger stabbing me in the heart over and over.
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"S-stop, you don't mean any of that...." He pulls at his hair, frustrated.
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"You're making this difficult!" I shake my head and go to touch his face.
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"H-hyuck-" He grabs my wrist.
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"Stop! Stop calling me that! Stop trying to touch me! Just stop!" I stumble backward and tears slip from my eyes.
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"You still love me! I know you do! You just told me yesterday!" He yells in desperation.
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"No! I don't! I'm a liar! Can't you tell?! You're just like every other girl I've dated! They all are so desperate! I don't love you, I never did!!!" I stared at him, shocked at everything he was saying. I tried to push it out and not let it get to me and wiped my eyes even though more tears fell after.
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"So you're saying all the movie nights, late-night studies, our park dates meant nothing?!" He stares at me speechless. I keep going. "All the nights we sat on my bedroom floor, or when we would lie in your bed to keep each other warm?! At school when you punched the guy for making a move on me! How did all of that mean nothing?! How was that a lie! I know a hell of a lot better than you think, you're a terrible liar!" His gaze lowers to the floor and he shakes his head.
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"You don't understand Hanseol. It's just not you, it's never been you." I throw my hands up in the air.
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"What do you mean it isn't me?!" He looks up at me, his eyes shining with tears.
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"You're not the one I'm meant to be with, I made a mistake a long time ago dating you." My eyes widened when I realized he was not changing his mind. I step towards him and tears pour down my face uncontrollably.
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"Y-you promised... You promised you wouldn't leave me!!!" He sighs and turns around opening my front door. I yell at him, my heart shattering to thousands of tiny shards.
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"IF YOU WALK AWAY YOU WILL BE BREAKING MY HEART HAECHAN!" I never use that name, it was the name I used to call him when we first met. He pauses and doesn't move. "DON'T YOU DARE SAY GOODBYE UNLESS YOU'RE READY TO BREAK ME!" I take a deep breath, my stress levels through the roof. "YOU WILL FOREVER CHANGE MY LIFE... Donghyuck... p-please." He didn't move, then he finally spoke.
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"Goodbye Hanseol." He stepped out of my house, not bothering to close my door. That was it, that was all I could take. I let out a terrified scream and ran to the door, I could see his body shaking, but he never looked back. He walked, and walked, down the sidewalk, but never spared me a glance. I fell to my knees and screamed, crying my heart out into the nothingness.
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Fresh tears poured down my face, this was supposed to be a fun day to forget about my sorrows but here I am. My friend walks up behind me and sighs.
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“Hanseol…” I take a deep breath and wipe my tears, facing her.
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“ I know Sunhee… I know I need to move on, I need to forget him, be happy… I know, trust me I know. It’s just… I can’t forget him, he was my world Sunhee- no my universe. How am I supposed to live without him?!” Sunhee’s eyes tear up and she quickly embraces me.
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“Oh, my precious baby… I can’t understand your pain, but I can feel it. I didn’t come here to tell you to forget him, I just want you to embrace it and not be so sad. I know you go to the bathroom every day at school to cry. I just want my best friend to be happy.” Hot tears sprung out of my eyes and I tightly embraced her back. I wish there was something I could do to not be sad. I pull away and look down at Sunhee.
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“Did… Did I ever tell you why Hyuck broke up with me?” Sunhee shakes her head.
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“You always said you didn’t know why.” I turn towards the water, the fresh salty air stinging my eyes, and the sunset shining on our faces.
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“It was my fault.” I take a deep breath letting the emotions flood over me as I recall Donghyuck yelling at me in the past. “My parents never approved of our relationship and he was stressed about it all the time. They didn’t like a single thing about him and even tried to threaten him with the police. ‘If you keep meeting our daughter we will call the police on you.’ That’s what they told him…” I laugh bitterly. “I can’t believe my parents acted that way… I know they want the best for me and they love me, but I too have feelings. Donghyuck has feelings… Yet they never seemed fazed by anything I yelled at them. I threatened to run away to live with him but they just grounded me. I went to them crying saying I loved him so much and all they said was, ‘Hanseol you don’t know the first thing about love.’ It hurt a lot Sunhee, but I pushed through. But I don’t think Donghyuck liked it very much. He ignored me for weeks and I thought he was scared off for good. I tried dating Taesung to get my mind off him but it didn’t work. And when he came back, I told him I was scared and we needed to break up. He never talked to me for a month, eventually, I became so depressed I went to see him that day. He was upset and he didn’t want to see me. If these things hadn't happened then we would have been fine…” Sunhee leans into my side.
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“I’m sorry Hanseol, have you heard from him?” I shake my head and tears silently tumble down my face.
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“No… It’s been months, I’ve left him hundreds upon hundreds of messages.” Sunhee nods.
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“Hanseol, think you should try to be positive about it. The others are fixing to eat you should come!” I smile bitterly looking at her.
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“I’m alright Sunhee, I’m sorry… I am. I promise I’ll find a way to happiness.” She hugs me one last time and smiles.
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“I know you will Hanseol, I know you will.” She runs towards the others, halfway there she spins around and waves. I chuckle and wave back as she dashes to sit down with the others. I turn to my left and start walking away from everyone towards the rocks. When I step on the first rock I look around to see only a few people. A couple, a man sitting alone, and a mother with her child playing around. I sigh and carefully start walking, while I was walking the man sitting down called out to me.
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“Lee Hanseol?” My head snaps towards him immediately recognizing his voice. There he was, looking tired, standing up striding towards me. His light hair blew in the sea breeze and his eyes shone with sadness. “Is that you…?” Tears fall from my eyes again and I rush towards him.
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“H-Hyuck?!” He stops me from colliding with him by holding onto my shoulders.
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“Woah there, you look like a mess-” I hug him tightly tears pouring out of my eyes uncontrollably.
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“H-Hyuck!” He stands there unmoving for a second before gently patting my back. After I calmed down he stared at me.
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“Wow… You look different.” I scoff and look at him.
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“Of course, I do it’s been a month.” He rubs the nape of his neck and the cold breeze brings goosebumps to my arms.
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“Yeah well, I’ve got to get going Hanseol.” I stare at him and my eyes widen.
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“You’re just going to leave like that?!” He was about to speak but I cut him off before he got the chance. “You can’t do this to me twice!” He sighs and takes a step back.
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“Listen Hanseol, I get it, you’re upset, but I’m sorry for what happened but I would do it again.” He takes a deep breath. “I love you, but it needed to happen. The relationship was too hard for both of us.” Tears form in my eyes as I speak
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“Y-you’re going to leave me?! Again?!’ He sighs and stares at me.
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“Hanseol. Please calm down, we broke up and it was the best for both of us. No matter how much we love each other it just won’t work out.” Before I could make a retort he puts a hand up. “No. I’m sorry Hanseol, now I’m going to leave.” He spins around and everything felt like it was happening all over again. The previous clouds had now started pouring rain, thunder echoed throughout the area. Donghyuck’s figure was shaking again just like then. He was walking away just like then. But this time I wasn’t going to scream in pain.
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“DONGHYUCK!” He pauses from his point farther away from me but doesn’t turn around.
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“I’M SORRY! I LOVE YOU!” His figure was shaking now and he ran. It was different. He was running, he was crying. I wasn’t crying. I felt numb rather than in pain. That’s when I realized, not everyone’s story ends with a happily ever after.
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